Finding cozy

On March 31, 2025 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn gratitude, happiness, healthy habits, life, life story, positive energy8 Comments

It was plus 19 degrees Celsius during the last week of winter. To be honest, I cannot recall when the end of winter has been so warm and sunny. Brilliant blue sky stretched over us, there was no wind, birds waking up, chirping, getting go with their spring songs. Pure pleasure after the long and nasty winter we had in Canada this year. Well, and it’s cold, rainy and not spring-like today with winds folding the tall trees in half.

Therefore, I make myself cozy. Actually, the first thing my grandson said when he entered our place after arriving from Europe for Christmas was: it’s so cozy and beautiful here! That refers to numerous paintings on our walls and the all-winter blooming room plants since the furniture is scarce and very functional. Cozy has always meant a lot for me.

Small spaces are great to live in, except one has to be extremely organized and conscious about everything which I am. It isn’t complicated: you always put everything back into place where it belongs. That also means that absolutely everything has its place. Watching how people manage that over many decades, I have come to conclusion that this skill comes from early childhood.

My background is so different from what people born in Canada or in the States have experienced! It was such time, and it was such place where my life started that you probably wouldn’t be envious. I had about 2 toys – one blue truck and one doll, a large one. I spent my time mostly on my own because we didn’t have daycares or nursery schools. However, I had numerous fantastically illustrated children’s books, and that is where my first inspiration for art comes from.

I was very often outdoors exploring the neighborhood. The closest farmhouse was about 1.5 km away. We had fields and pastures all around, one narrow road leading to the main road which was gravel at that time. The closest small town to which I walked since I was 6, was about 3 km away. Yes, we walked it when the snow was up to my waistline, or during rain, wind, heat. Mom rode a bike to work; dad had a motorcycle. They worked 6 days a week, long hours, too.

My sister is 4 years younger, so it took a while since she could join me playing. Playing I wasn’t a lot. I got my only doll for watching the small calf we had. My best friend was a wonderful dog we had; he accompanied me during exploration walks and saved from a snakebite once. I was weaving baskets with my grandmother, when I was about 6 years old, helping in the huge garden, picked berries, raked leaves, helped cooking. I also learned to recognize all wild and garden plants around this time. That included wild flowers which I literally adored.

I was the one sewing dresses for dolls later, building toy houses, building small toy apartments with all furniture and everything that belongs. I used simple materials which were in the shed and whatever I found useful. Sister could play with my creations since I liked to make things and not play. I drew an ABC which taught my sister reading way better than the usual ABCs which were available. I always created what I needed since you couldn’t buy anything at the store. I was always a teacher from a young age.

Great advantage of my childhood was that we never used or needed any medications, just herbal tea here and there. Well, there weren’t actually any drugstores around either. All food we consumed was grown and produced by ourselves. Once again, you could buy hardly anything at the store. Up to this day, I don’t like chocolate or ice cream too much, in fact, I rarely eat them, just a tiny bit on rare occasions. It’s also so that this ice cream doesn’t come close to the natural ice cream of my childhood.

So, from very early on, I learned what is cozy, what is nicely organized and clean. I dare saying that many of our habits which either disturb us or help us, come from early childhood. That refers to not only always keeping our space clean and neat, but also to our eating habits. I still don’t drink Cola or Pepsi since I never had them until I arrived in Canada at the age of almost 50. Basically, you cannot like what you never had access to.

Cozy for me is warm, welcoming and comfortable environment, not necessarily luxury and over the top appliances and the likes. Cozy is the fantastic energy which comes from my original art. Cozy is plants – blooming or just having green leaves. Cozy is an amazing book, hot tea or coffee and homemade food. Food which doesn’t make one sick but is made with love so one feels it in every bite.

I wish you a fantastic spring! Maybe we will need less cozy now and more outdoorsy energy. All of that is wonderful. The snowdrops are in bloom, and daffodils are sprouting.

I will return

On September 8, 2024 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn gratitude, hope, life, poem, writing23 Comments

I will return

I will come back

When leaves are turning golden

When heavy clouds shed never ending tears

I will return

When we will all be older

And frosty winds are threateningly near

I will be back

When tabletops are breaking

From heaviness of fruit, we worked for so hard

I will return

to meet you halfway to the sunset

To stay in touch, to be on guard

That’s for sure, I always come back. I wrote these verses about 5 years ago, but it’s a suitable moment, and I decided to publish them. While this year hasn’t brought much pleasure, I am better now, and, therefore, doing a few things which I still assume as being important for me.

The attraction of WordPress for me was always the ability to interact with other bloggers and people, who appreciate what one writes, paints, has discovered and deems meaningful enough to present their fruit of creation to others. It seems, at least from my art website, I won’t see what other bloggers post because there was no Reader. I see the eyeglasses which indicate the Reader only on this blog. It might work, and it might not.

Anyway, the weather is telling us that fall storms and chilly winds will take over here soon. Leaves are falling already, I must admit, that’s early for Ontario. We haven’t had any bright colors yet, and I suppose, that’s still ahead. I am quite happy to be back and sharing my thoughts again. I certainly posted on my art website also, and you get there from the sidebar of this blog where I list the most recent posts.

I hope we will stay in touch!

The circle of life

On May 13, 2024September 8, 2024 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn gratitude, happiness, life, poem, poetry, story14 Comments

I am so thankful I have it all

What has ever happened to me

The spring awakening, winter sleep,

The ups and downs and energy

Which comes with every sunrise and sundown

The buds which will bloom,

The roads we went along and missed too.

I am so grateful we had so much life

Without trying to be who we are not

Being a mother, being a wife

The circle of life, the renewal and the end

I am so happy I have always had it

The future, the past and today

Everything what has happened to me.

From the beginning to eternity

I am so thankful I have it all

The tears, the smiles and tranquility

The highs and lows and feeling of luck

The circle of life

Surrounding me.

In the middle of spring,

In the middle of garden

In the middle of blooms

And listening to songs

Which have no words

Since birds talk another language

In the middle of life

In the middle of sorrow

Hoping we get better as soon as the rain comes

Or the sun shines

Or our hopes come true

In the middle of garden before the dusk

Where the silence is full with wind

And the only words are what birds say

In the middle of eternity

Love, forgiveness and grief

It’s the only place to remain

In the middle of garden

In spring

I hope my poetical writing or poems describe better what I am feeling and what I am up to. Yes, it’s a new awakening, a new cycle in the newer ending renewal of everything and everybody that lives. I’ve been absent for a moment, but that is what happens in this life. It can be very kind to you at some moment and turn the nasty side to you in another moment.

Well, please, read the poems, please try to feel what I am feeling and maybe that inspires you also not only to write something, but planting a garden also.

Steps to good life

On March 21, 2023September 13, 2023 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn gratitude, green living, happiness, life, mental health12 Comments

Keeping up with necessities

Everything happens at once during the spring: it was white snow and grey view just yesterday, but the sun is out today, and it starts feel like the winter is over. Time flow has such acceleration these days that keeping up with everything is quite impossible. We literally run through days in order to catch the feeling of fulfillment and awareness of our own worthiness. We are looking for proof to justify our existence. Each day is a test – how well did you manage?

Nothing happens on its own

Work is an inevitable part of life. I would add to that – physical work, sometimes tedious physical work, and mental engagement and tiring mental work, nobody cancelled that. We all hope for the good life when everything is passed to us on a tray and we effortlessly enjoy the smooth ride. It’s great, I won’t deny that because when you do not fight for the basics, you can do something meaningful, important and fulfilling. Yet, for most of us, it’s work, work and more work and hardly any weekends. By far, that’s not the worst which can happen.

It’s your decision

It’s not fate or God. We stand behind every decision we ever made consciously or subconsciously. The path we took or avoided has led us whenever we happen to be. It sounds very harsh and, in many cases, it also is. The simple way to be satisfied with the life you have is having understanding that we are responsible for the past, today and the future. We do what we have to do and don’t dive into self-pity. It’s easy to feel sorry for ourselves and we all have done that at some point in life.

Worth pursuing

I do work a lot. I’m not a workaholic, but I am very aware of my responsibilities and duties. Let’s face it – having no physical work to accomplish can be worse than skipping your gym visit. Humans are built to engage in daily physical activities, and they have always done so. We have now numerous devices, gadgets and helping hands to avoid doing anything physical. However, there’s direct, very visible, tangible and enjoyable result with chores and outdoor work. Organized shelves, clean and tidy rooms, happy house plants and neat outdoors – such a pleasure not only for eyes. Physical work is essential for our wellbeing.

The key is to enjoy

I enjoy physical work as much as mental work. Thankfully, I am always busy and I cannot recall any time when I had to complain about boredom. You know what happens to idle minds. I also very much prefer garden work, cleaning and other such necessary tasks to the gym. To be honest, after the life-changing accident 30 years ago, any idea of exercising was out of question. I’m in a good shape, never had any extra weight and feel quite well. Thanks to work.

Work or entertainment?

Is endless work the answer to having a meaningful life? Definitely not since having rest is as important as being busy. However, entertainment isn’t an answer either. Entertainment doesn’t defeat boredom, being upset and unhappy. Variety of tasks, responsibility and self-awareness is much better answer. We do not live only on bread and entertainment. We do live to achieve the best outcome for our current situation. The mental discomfort starts when there’s nothing to do. Aimless analyzing leads to no result. Being busy is good as opposed to wasting time just watching how others live.

Getting things done

So, welcome spring! So much to do. And we should feel grateful for each day which comes with new challenges and new accomplishments. Roll up your sleeves! Eyes can get scared by seeing all the overwhelming amount of work, but hands get it done. No better time than now. Spring starts a brand-new cycle, why not to enjoy the physical tasks and efforts? They might feel tiresome and tedious at first, but every accomplishment brings more satisfaction.

Pictures are not that bright this time, well, it’s quite grey outdoors. They show what’s happening in my park right now.

Thanks for reading and I wish you not too much hard work and lots of nature’s hugs and kisses!

What works for me

On January 30, 2023September 13, 2023 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn goals and determination, gratitude, healthy choices, healthy habits, life, lifestyle9 Comments

Any day can be a fairly good day

What works for me, might work for you, as well. It just depends on what type of person you are. The global media invents some days when one supposedly has to feel really bad, and then, which days are going to be better. Really? What a nonsense. Lots of people do not like winter, the unpleasant winter – with strong, chilling winds, snow piling up to the window sills, sleet, ice, freezing rain and bitter cold. No, there’s nothing adorable about all of that. I am in Southern Ontario which is sort of across the lake from New York.

Winter snow shoveling

The Ontario Lake is what can cause all kinds of troubles or bring relief. Thankfully, we didn’t have any snow all January. That’s up to the last days. I’ve been shoveling for about 4 hours a day in average this week. And snow keeps coming, and I keep shoveling. One might see that as a disaster. I agree, there are better ways to spend our time. But then again – all the exercise I get and all the fresh air which enriches the blood stream with oxygen? The rejuvenating effect of movement, clean air and great mood?

For mood and soul

That’s what we get from doing something useful not only for ourselves, but everything and everybody else. Plants will thank me in the spring for care I took preventing them from freezing out. Everybody who arrives in the huge backyard, is happy they don’t have to get wet feet walking through high snow drifts. I am happy because of all the great views which, no, I won’t paint.

Immersing oneself in colors

Painting works for me in many different ways. During cold and snowy months, I paint spring, flowers, rivers, creeks and forest where the spring flowers come up. I think I was born as an artist and gardener. Everything else sort of lines up around these two main passions of me. I love green color. I adore blue color, and there’s nothing better than bright pink flowers. I create this uplifting reality in my art.

Reading for pure pleasure

The other things to take mind off, are books. I only read at night something thrilling, absolutely consuming. I do research and learning during the day, therefore, the relaxing reading involves authors which can do that: write something realistic enough, but with feeling of mystery, thrilling and suspenseful. The range of writers is huge; however, I do prefer male writers. Their perception of events and the ways they resolve crime stories and display personalities resonates with me better. I do read female authors, as well, but frequently some books leave me disappointed. I feel like, I was promised so much, but didn’t receive it.

The green air purifiers

Room plants are next in line of life improving things. I do not have enough space, and my potted plants simply cannot do gorgeously without enough light, but they still grow and make me happy. I stuffed some in the basement at two tiny windows, the rest is in the art room. As you know, some plants can live well enough with hardly any light. They purify and moisten air. They also require little attention, just some watering. Green onions are doing nicely in a small cup. Many Canadian houses are like that: no place for doing something and no place for plants. I should know since I’ve been moving so many times and living in so many houses. Small windows, low ceiling, a place to eat, sleep, watch TV and shower. A place for people who prefer doing nothing.

Cooking from scratch

Finally, I’m a very good cook, but I don’t usually make complex meals. I go Latvian style: few ingredients, preparation requires little time and effort. I see sometimes recipes which need like twenty or more ingredients. Definitely not for me. We also do not use ready-made, half-cooked, etc. stuff. It makes more sense to do everything from scratch. We love soups and vegetable salads in all kinds of combinations. Not the common things, but specifically ours, like beet, carrot, leak, bean, etc. We love layered herring salad with potatoes, carrots, onions, beets and egg.

Simple is good

I am Latvian, and I stick to my own recipes. Therefore, we do not have heartburn, stomach issues or digestion problems. We are pension age, but slim and energetic. The fewer and more natural ingredients, the better for digestion. We do not snack. We have 3 meals a day and don’t eat anything in between. I suppose, any adult can do that. I believe that lots of people gain excess weight due to snacking, consuming fancy drinks, adding all kinds of things to tea and coffee. There’s nothing wrong with black and strong coffee. To be honest, our digestive system needs longer breaks, like 12 hours and then 3-4 hours between the 3 meals. And nothing more.

It’s doable

Winter will end. Spring will come with its own chores. I’ve suffered so much from seasonal affective disorder all my life that I decided to just put an end to it. I changed my view at it. I made myself not feel sad and upset. I literally push myself outdoors and once I have the shovel in hands, I won’t stop until everything is clean. I sometimes have to make myself want to paint or teach an art class. However, after the reluctant start it all happens. The resistance is huge, but I am able to overcome it. At the end of the day, I list in my mind all the good things I have done. They can be small things, but I have managed to stay on top of them. Big achievement.

Many years ago, I wrote numerous good articles which make a lot of sense today.

Simplifying life

Green living

Lifesaving gardening

Therapeutic horticulture

Wishing you pleasant winter experience and thanks for reading!

The rainy July, uncertainty and assumptions

On July 25, 2021September 29, 2021 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn backyard, gratitude, health, life, nature, social media47 Comments

Summer never disappoints, even when there’s more rain than in the fall or more heat than in Mexico. Just knowing, that the days are long, and light stays on longer is so satisfying. Recurring certainty gives a feeling of stability, but we are not yet 100% there in Ontario. We are fairly uncertain also about the length of vaccine efficiency and what happens next and so forth. Questions which will clarify themselves as time passes by.

The last 2 years have been a huge test: they have tested our patience, endurance, tolerance and self-efficiency. I am usually aiming for predictability and certain order of upcoming events, just like in nature: summer comes after spring, and then there’s fall, and winter. Clarity, simple sequence of events. During this period, it’s been knowing nothing about what to expect, misinformation, lies, doubts and promises which often didn’t turn into actions.

Time doesn’t take into account whether we like being in this mess created by virus or not: it just runs away and, in some cases, – out. This time period will stay in our memory for quite a while. Is the pandemic over yet? In some places and countries, it seems we are winning, and then, a new variant occurs, and we start losing. It looks like this is not the end of pandemic yet. I wish it were, though.

Are you also so much used to wearing a mask that it will seem strange leaving house without it? Or disinfecting surfaces and washing hands for hundred times? I’ve heard that people are having more anxiety attacks, more upsetting days, spending more time doubting themselves and the future. I’d say that is normal taking into account the circumstances. We feel very much entitled to many things and we often take them for granted.

Maybe this is a time when we simply allow the flow to take us? I’ve been always against the flow, against the rules, against demands, commands and external control. However, I find that most current requirements make sense and I comply with them. There is a lot of scientific evidence on how we survive. I’m happy that after spending more than a full month on a computer and on the phone, we finally got both vaccine doses. It’s three weeks now. It is a relief. Some feeling of order? I’m not saying that I feel very safe now, but it’s somewhat reassuring that, most likely, nothing bad is going to happen.

We are not back to any normal yet, although, we’re trying to pretend everything is ok. It will never be the same as it was pre-pandemic. Globalization has its plusses and minuses. One of the biggest troubles: any disaster affecting health becomes global in no time. Unfortunately, global trade is fine, global pandemic – not at all because it is handled inefficiently and as bad as only possible. Do two doses of vaccine ensure you’re done with the virus? Probably not. We’ve already heard Pfizer saying they detected the immunity was weaker after 6 months.

Depending on where you are, you might be fine or not at all. We in Ontario are trying to return to life without virus. I hoped people would love to attend the outdoor art classes now, after almost two years of everything online. It doesn’t seem so. Not much response because there’s also no place where to get attention, not even one specific place. Facebook just wants me to spend more money so that they would show to somebody what I publish. Well, Facebook, it’s been two very tough years, so nothing goes to you. I won’t even mention other media sites. If you’re not an influencer, post whatever you want, hardly anybody will see it. The problem is also that everybody is selling something, and buying happens mostly from the huge global outlets, go outcompete those.

I was reading how a marketing expert said she just made a million giving advice. Have you also noticed that teaching somebody to make money always results in high profits? Everybody is attracted to read about “make-money-quick”, or watch it, or listen to it. Unfortunately, it will always depend on your location, digitalization level, type of thing you do, demand for what you do and the basic mindset of your potential customers. However, it will mostly depend on how much you can invest in what you do, how much you can spend on advertising, help and specialists and creation of your product. Do you think I’d had any problem if I could run my ads every hour on numerous TV channels or have them everywhere sneak up on you on the internet?

The presence and visibility are the biggest problem.

When I started writing this blog and created the other blog and art website, I thought it would result in some extra attention. I’ve got blog friends, nice people to talk to online, that’s true. I spend a lot of time posting, returning likes and answering to comments. For art blog, a post usually takes about 2 weeks in making because I usually have to paint what I’d like to show, then take photos (what a hassle!) and then, putting it up is easy, but, altogether – very, very time-consuming. Basically, I’ve spent abnormal hours dealing with both blogs, and return is great when it comes to online following and friendships, but financially, it’s practically nothing to show for. It still makes sense compared to spending many hours on social media and not getting any traction. Well, it is like this: whatever you do, be influencer and famous, and then even dumb things you say or publish will get lots of publicity.

Global pandemic, global competition, global trade, global profits or losses, – but the effects of all that are very personal, very individual, very painful frequently. I do sometimes long for the time when somebody just drops in, they are happy with what I have to offer, they do not run around to 100 other places before making decision, and life is so simple because everything is in balance, everything happens. I am just wondering how could life become so complex? Getting a simple “yes” or “no” is practically impossible. It takes numerous emails, text messages, back and forth, numerous explanations and waste of time, and then you still don’t know whether you achieved what you wanted.

As always, I will post this very delayed article with a few pictures from my garden. Just like summer, garden never disappoints. Even when I don’t have time, plants just do their thing: they bloom, grow and bring fruit. Compared to everything else, it’s such a winning and rewarding effort. I do take great care of my pictures, but I suppose since I’m not emphasizing the photography aspect, they go unnoticed. As you know, I used to post more frequently, but cannot right now: life is too complex. I am re-opening the studio, moving art classes outdoors, preparing materials, and that takes about 10 hours a day or more.

Wishing you to recharge and rest during the summer! Thanks for reading if you did!

At the doorstep of 2021

On December 30, 2020December 30, 2020 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn gratitude, happiness, healthy habits, life, values40 Comments

The year is white from ends

with flourishing green in the middle

The year

The year is what we have chosen to be our reference point. The year starts and ends in winter in places where I have lived and still live. The end and the start of the year happen to be white very often or about 85% of the time, sometimes with snowdrifts and shiny snow blanket over grasses and frost on trees, sometimes – with only ice patches and mud, sometimes bitterly cold, but always in winter. I am aware it’s not everywhere like that.

The green part of year

I am a fan of the middle: from early spring till the last green grass stem is still growing. I stop painting winter right before Christmas, and in the recent years, I am trying to stick with my decision not to paint any snow. It is easily explained: I cannot wait for the first flowers and plants to come up. I will be digging soil in the backyard when it hasn’t even completely thawed yet. That is my gym and my exercise and always has been.

Sinful idleness versus meaningful doing

The age impacts the flow of time and our perception of time settings to a great extent. The older one gets, the more serious they are about using time wisely, at least I am. I do measure my days by accomplishments, not by hours. If I haven’t managed to get anything meaningful done during the day, I’ll be upset. Therefore, spending time just exercising or walking aimlessly while I can also get done something useful in the garden, is a sin for me. Just like idle sitting around or having small talk.

No small talk for me

I avoid small talk, I certainly do as much as possible. Walking is fantastic, and I add usually a target to it: one store or another, appointment or visit. If I’m in the middle of painting, I simply cannot answer the phone. That frequently involves making small talk. Paint dries quickly, ideas vanish and mood changes. We never paint with the brush and paints only, there are a lot of other factors which go into my art.

Nobody has all answers

It’s good to believe that we know all the answers as our age grows and gets past 60, but it’s not true. The more we know, the more questions arise. I am very thankful for my medical knowledge, pharmaceutical and diagnostic skills and clinical experience. That has really helped and not only me. It keeps making life easier. I’ve also discovered how Canadian doctors are not always up to standards and protocols, and how much their diagnosis can be affected by rush, generalized assumptions and plain misunderstanding or inattention.

Superficiality

Superficiality is very widespread. The justification is that nobody has time. That is the biggest paradox of nowadays: everybody has plenty of time for fruitless scrolling through the internet on any screen that happens to be around, but no time for the good and meaningful things which make life worthwhile. Most people don’t ever read anything that’s under the picture or within the actual text, or the first 3 words at the best. Superficiality leads to sloppiness, disorganized and careless attitude in other areas of life.

Lack of quality

Quality is very quickly disappearing as the result, and lack of quality actually applies to absolutely all areas of our life. For instance, while I know that restaurants are having tough times, the restaurant and takeout food is just not for me and my family. We have gotten takeout meals a few times, and most of this food went to the garbage bin. It had no taste, no flavor, and there was certainly no love applied when cooking. High class workmanship and good skills in whatever walk of life we are looking for, are just not there. It makes no sense trying to get somebody’s help when it’s pretty clear you will have to do it over.

The year 2020

Everybody of us applies our own ratings and our own measuring tape based on experience, age, knowledge and so forth to whatever we are evaluating. Comparatively, I cannot complain about this year. The previous one, the 2019 was much worse since I lost my mom that year. Garden was doing extremely well this year. I put in many jars of preserves for winter. I had no live art classes from March to December, therefore, I was able to paint many more of my own paintings. Some of them are really excellent. Washing hands, disinfecting all items and areas, wearing a mask and staying at home was not a problem for us because we are a tiny 2-person family. Financials could be way better, but, unless one is a billionaire, that’s always an area which could be better.

December: snow and more snow — December: white and pure snow all around

Magnolias — Early spring magnolias, they blossom in my backyard

Spring lettuce — Lettuce comes up and produces early

Summer cucumbers — We were enjoying our own cucumbers in the summer and later pickles in the fall and winter

Tomato preserves — I had tomatoes from June to November, some got used in preserves

Summer flowers — Flowers in full bloom, this is already October

Bell peppers or paprika were doing fine also, late October here

Last nasturtium — The last nasturtium blossoms, direct before the strong November frost

Be patient

The COVID-19 pandemic probably will take quite a while to resolve. As we have seen, this virus mutated very quickly, thus, causing to establish whether the available vaccines still work for the new variants of this virus. It’s uncertain that more new variants won’t appear before everybody has received their immunization dose of vaccine. Only time will show how long we are staying safe and how long the vaccine actually helps keeping one safe: a year, 3 years, more years? Time is what we didn’t have so far. Being patient is very important, hence, everybody contributes to putting the COVID-19 pandemic behind us.

Wishing safe, healthy and good New Year!

Thanks for reading if you did!

The soothing Sunday thoughts: October

On October 12, 2020September 8, 2024 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn autumn colors, gratitude, happiness, life, past, writing28 Comments

If you walk in your thoughts far away enough, you could end up in a place called your past many years ago. You do not always want to be there, but as the years pile up, the memories swirl around like the falling leaves. The soft whispers have some secrets to reveal and things which you want to be always with you, are also around.

October light is sparklingly bright and untamed as it brakes through the unmoving, dense foliage and takes a spot on the backyard table next to my coffee cup. Things we want to let go and things we desperately would love to keep, yet, cannot. I always loved to paint October, but never enjoyed its arrival too much.

The question sometimes arises: did it happen for real, or did I only imagine that? The far away places of past can be anything, and it is kind of hard to keep the door to the memory gardens closed. Paging through old greeting cards is painful and sweet at the same time. I’d love to believe the ghosts are still here and silently watching over us, but nobody knows this for sure.

Things live so much longer than we do. So, we cannot throw out an old dress hence its ruffles hide some long-ago evaporated scent, and the lace fabric still remembers a touch from 40 years back. We cannot part with old souvenirs, so meaningless to people, who have no idea where they come from. Sometimes, all what remains is a small card and a dried flower or leaf between book pages.

October is like that for me: taking extended walks in the memory garden and trying to catch up with the current moments rushing by too swiftly. I, too, was convinced that I had answers to anything. That was when I didn’t have any life experience.

One more fall, one more calendar ending soon. It’s amazing how fast the years run away, but it feels like everything is still ahead. The best things which didn’t happen so far. The nicest surprises which didn’t want to come our way yet. The most adorable October which started just yesterday. Or a week ago, or maybe 2 weeks ago.

Some October leaves are meant to be kept so that our wishes could be written on them. Enclosed on a bright maple leaf is a small blessing. Simple, touchy, fading too soon. The satisfaction of this moment, the absolute essence of all things going away.

This goes under my “The soothing Sunday thoughts” because it feels like Sunday, yet, it is Thanksgiving Monday in Canada.

Happy Thanksgiving, Canada!

Patch up life, live nice during pandemic

Patched up with hope: life during pandemic

On May 22, 2020May 22, 2020 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn confidence, depression, gratitude, happiness, hope, life25 Comments

If we are lucky enough to live in some country like Canada where we have social security, fairly affordable health care and chances to get a job, some job, not always what we wish for, we stop believing in our own mortality. We know we cannot avoid passing away and it will happen sometimes, but that is a far-away event. We first enjoy, savor and are happy. After some very long time or possibly eternity, that might happen. That might happen after a great life which we have filled up with all kinds of achievements. We have fulfilled our dreams and everything is sunny in our peaceful valley of joy and pleasure-rich entertaining space. Slightly utopic, but internet says we all can do that. This doesn’t apply to time of COVID-19 pandemic, unfortunately, with everything being turned upside down and inside out.

The generations before cancer treatments, diabetes cures, artificial joints, artery stenting and transplanted organs, as well as efficient antibiotics, chemotherapy, fast and slow acting insulin, NSAIDs and steroids, blood pressure and cholesterol adjusting medications and antidepressants had to be more down to the Earth. Any health issue could have resulted in bad sequences and premature passing away. Therefore, people relied more on afterlife. If we didn’t have enough time to enjoy this life, we were quite sure that the best possible life awaits in a space which we had been told about depending on religion and personal belief. The shift nowadays is that we all want to experience the best possible life right now and here. We are not going to put up with anything less than paradise. This isn’t possible during the COVID-19 pandemic.

The COVID-19 pandemic has put extra pressure on most people. We hear often they cannot afford to wait; they cannot afford to buy one essential thing or another, they definitely cannot live as they used to. We also find out that virus has destroyed many lives, caused family conflicts, domestic violence and many people have succumbed to it. This might be the first time for somebody to realize that they are not bulletproof, I mean, that they, too, can become infected and have to undergo harsh treatment or even worse. The reality which threatens practically everybody, who slightly slips and stops observing the strict protocols of hygiene and physical distancing, has caused a gigantic wave of mental disorders.

While TV, social media and numerous internet sites remind us that we are not alone, that help is within easy reach, it can quite frequently remain only nice and cheering call without any follow-up action. We have to take into account that person, who is completely depressed (I am talking about clinically severe depression episode, not upset mood for a few days in a row), will take no steps to improve their condition. That is the nature of this condition: a complete ignorance of oneself, surroundings, situation and advice. They cannot do anything because they are unable to and they need some major break to become alive again.

The worst thing in pre-depressive state is analyzing everything: every word one hears, every glance, every message, every move and every reaction to what somebody else does or says. This leads to overwhelmingly negative self-assessment. The second worse thing is scrolling through social media and seeing how well everybody else is which leads to comparing one’s condition, situation and overall wellbeing to somebody else. If you do this for half a day or even longer, it is going to cause some reaction. There are usually only two types of social media messages which rise to the top: extremely attractive, extremely inspiring, extremely positive or plain bad and tragic. People will always look at a disastrous outcome. By numbers of statistics, that will be even more often than at something great and good. Have you seen how all traffic stops when there is a car accident on the road side? That’s exactly the same reason: it’s good to know that’s not our car and not us in it.

The best thing to do in a pre-depressive state is make oneself tired with physical work. Physical work with readily visible results beats physical exercise. Physical work which shows that we have achieved something immediately brings pleasant tiredness. We can look at spotless floor, bright and fresh laundry, planted flower bed, weeded garden, organized and clean room or house, sparklingly shiny windows. It’s good to split wood, dig soil and submerge hands in it. The only problem is to make that happen and start doing, overcome resistance and sometimes simple laziness.

Living in never-ending rush people forget about the energy which everything has, gives or takes. Let’s look at TV, computer, laptop or similar devices. While we believe we have got good energy watching something inspiring, uplifting and calling to activity, the radiation and energetic waves of devices actually deplete energy. The contemporary English version of ancient religious text says: “We are made from earth, and we return to earth.” I do interpret it so that also during our presence on the Earth we can draw all energy we need from the Earth. That is literary making our hands dirty with soil, walking barefoot on the grass and along the garden path, hugging tree which speaks to us and planting seeds in order to enjoy the harvest.

Hug a tree, kiss a flower

The tiredness which comes from working at computer is completely different from tiredness which originates in working outdoors or indoors. More than ever, we need to clean our mind, decrease pollution in our head and let our brain enjoy fresh air. That decreases chance of shifting from upset mood days into severe and clinically treatable depression. Acting on it early, might help a lot, tremendously, in fact. Instead of scrolling through daily data and death reports, instead of spending hours reviewing progress of medical treatments and vaccines (it is a slow process anyway), one has to turn their mind to completely unrelated things.

While we might not be living the best life, we deserve, we cannot start feeling like a victim of circumstances, global or local events, pandemic and virus. Victim’s mind uses destructive energy and suffering since they believe it is inevitable and unavoidable. The reverse chain sets in, and we literally start causing what we would prefer to never happen to us. Whatever path we apply to our current situation, it will help, although, not permanently. That is fine, too.

We do have a choice: to work or refuse to work with all sequences that this decision causes, stay alone or go out, use caution or show off how brave we are, take unnecessary risks or avoid being childish. It is good to be recognized as a hero, and some people will embrace it. Most of us for different reasons will not because we are not willing to pay the price. One choice is not worse than the other. The outcome is different, and we might or might not like it. Choice always stays with us. We can call it whatever we want but it’s in our hands to manage our only life.

This is a path which takes to better times

Stay well, be firm in your decisions and do not follow any doubtful trends which threaten your safety or safety of people around you!

The lesson we are not ready to take

On May 10, 2020May 12, 2020 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn family, gratitude, health, life, lifestyle, social media29 Comments

What drives today’s society

We all hope for some miracle to happen, although, not all of us even believe in miracles. We hope, there is some better life awaiting just around the corner, and when it’s all over: the silly crisis, the terrible virus struggles and suffering, the real life will restart. People, who can only feel comfortable with all the happiness components present, are definitely not well off. Hence, the protests, premature reopening of businesses and economy and extreme dissatisfaction resulting in depression, anxiety and loss of interest in personal life. It’s by far not about economy only, it’s a lot about human psychology and fears of unrests due to harsh living conditions, loss of income and tight restrictions.

Social show-offs

Our society lives in social media and thrives on showing off what they have, where they have been, how they look and how gorgeous they are. It’s like never ending competition of greatness which you, too, can achieve, if you just buy one thing or another, get one job or another or simply change your attitude. According to principles of full, meaningful, rich and happy life, we have to wake up every morning looking forward to our tasks and duties with a happy smile on our lips and be ready to tackle anything which is thrown at us. At the end of the day, we review it and fall asleep knowing that we did something great, useful, meaningful and important. This pandemic and crisis time puts it all to test.

Can you stand the test?

Do what you love and love what you do, right? Get rid of anything which makes you unhappy and dissatisfied. The problem with this attitude is situation like COVID-19 crisis. It is a time when you have to do what is necessary and required as opposed to what you prefer or like. Our attitude is such that we must have everything which is deemed necessary for a great life: comfort, help, support, hired hands to perform things we hate doing, lots of choices and plenty of money to cover it all. This situation tests a person on individual level and society as a whole. Can you honestly say you are fine with the results of this test?

Acceptance issues

Whether we want to admit or not, we live better than anybody before us ever had. We do not have that many time-and effort-consuming household chores, we can choose very many aspects of our life, including where to live, where to work, who to love, what to eat and what to wear and so on. While it is absolutely necessary to be in complete charge of our life, the emphasis on life’s sunny side only has created a distorted perception of life. According to happiness philosophy, there are no bad issues, and you choose only the best options for you. The current life situation doesn’t support that. The huge numbers of depressed, upset, annoyed and frustrated people show that they cannot accept the life as it is at this moment. Moreover, there is no coping mechanism in place.

It’s still the same and only life

The real life involves situations when we need to cope with accidents, disasters, losses, difficulties and struggles, as well as our readiness to accept a bad outcome, too. The global crisis shows that not only individual people, but also governments and entire countries cannot accept the reality and are short of coping mechanisms. The worst part of this is it’s not ending as soon as most of us would like it to. It’s a long-lasting disaster with many people losing their relatives, friends, grandparents and parents. This takes a lot of strength and a lot of willpower. While most of us were ready to accept the short-term inconveniences, the extended period of problems takes a huge toll. However, it is still our only life, we have to live through it. We can get back many things, but never time.

Although, nothing is as usual, we still honor and celebrate our mothers. Happy Mother’s Day!

Restricted Mother’s Day

This day is usually such a fantastic moment when we honor the people, who gave us life. While we have our mother, we are protected, guided and guarded from life’s most terrible issues. When the entire world turns against us, the mother is there with her support, smile and heart. She doesn’t care what everybody else says, she is your mother, she is always there for you. Mine at least was. I lost her last year, and it might be better for her not to go through these times of pandemic and our inability to cure old age people. You should feel very privileged if you still have your mother.

Long-lasting inconvenience

This will be a long-lasting inconvenience at the best and prolonged struggle with tragic issues in other cases. It is kind of sad that we need special laws and rules to make people see this situation for as serious as it is. While almost every site and ad say now to wear a mask, there are many problems with that. Simple fabric mask is like really nothing much. Masks should be single use only and disposable. In addition to mask, gloves and glasses are necessary, as well as a personal protocol for putting them on and taking off.

Have a good Sunday and enjoy Mother’s Day even if it’s over the phone or laptop, and don’t be short of kind words.

P.S. I just was outdoors and said to myself: it’s at least not snowing today. It’s May with winter weather this year.