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I declare war to trends

Trends limit my choices

Trends are making me sick. Trends are everywhere and they want to manage each step of us.

After I moved my art blog to a self-hosted website, I got into a three months long night mare. I could not find a theme which more or less suits what I want. I worked hard and paid money for some themes which (how silly from me!) I believed are what the advertising page says.

It’s all beautiful until you start to edit the elements and try to adjust them to your taste.

I basically run into 2 major problems because of the stupid trends: you can get something like one-page-minimalist grey theme, extremely basic theme (I even paid for one!) which will never work for my art or you have a choice of expensive, totally supercharged, overloaded with hundreds of effects themes. That is because of trends. Every site mentions that: very trendy, very creative, very artistic. I didn’t see any of that.

2 themes practically crashed my art site. So, I worked as a slave and returned to the basic twenty seventeen which was there as a base anyway. Just widened the content area with additional css slightly. Does it suit my requirements, taste or standards? Absolutely not. I tried adding more css, and basically there was a moments when I lost all text in all my blog posts.

I didn’t mind paying for a theme, but I mind that they are never what it says, shows in the demo, and these themes were actually never what I PREFER. They are just TRENDY. TREND is a big things nowadays.

I go the store and look for pants. Just something comfortable to wear while teaching classes. I could sew them, I am a very good fashion designer and I can craft anything. Why didn’t I just do that? I was feeling not well for the last 3 years, and that is actually an understatement. I was off for 3 years. So, I’m going easy with everything at the moment. Guess what? I go to one store: there are only trends. Something which I don’t like, don’t want and am not willing to associate with “comfortable and decently looking”. There are only trends which somebody thought will suit all trillions of people on the Earth. There are lots and lots of stuff, but absolutely nothing for ME.

I am different. My art is different.

My background is different.

My taste is different.

My DNA is unique, and so I am.

So, why am I endlessly facing the pressure of TREND? It isn’t logical. Is it? The answer is very simple: the global market has to point out trends in order all sheep-like people would religiously follow the recommended whatever which is called TREND. It is way easier to make everything trendy color, trendy style, trendy content because if the offer would be individualized it would cover tiny market. That would big time decrease the profit. Profit goes closely hand in hand with trend. It seems that 95% of populations believe they have to follow trend.

Who sets the trend?

You are made believe it is some celebrity or somebody one person. Oh well, the global engineer, the global profit-taking, the master-entrepreneur and owner of everything decides that. The 1% who has it all. The owner of the entire available and unimaginable capital which constitutes 1% of population.

Why do we need trends? Trend isn’t style, and even less it is your personal style or taste.

I often hear: I hate this trend, but I still got the dress or outfit, or purse, or furniture, or whatever.

We need to announce trends in order you would throw out your previous year’s accessories and had to the store to get something new.  You need to have trendy color in order you’d start to hate your not-bad-at-all couch. Or car.

Trend is made so big because it enables fooling so many people. One feels so great when they have trendy everything. Or do they? Putting it simple: trend facilitates your spending.

What does the trend mean for me? It means that I cannot get what I want, plain and simple. The stuff I want might be not trending right now. It actually isn’t.

Why do they make it so difficult for me?

For an individual with a personal taste, style, preferences? I feel like I have to do everything on my own: I have to grow and cook my own food, I have to design and make my own outfits, I have to create my own environment, I have to even write my own WordPress theme for which I don’t have time or resources if I want it to be as I like.

TREND is neglecting me as individual or personality.

TREND is dictating me what to like, what to read, what to watch, what to think, what to believe, who to trust, and eventually we get to the point that it is managing things that are available to me.

TREND is actually putting me in a box while trying to make me think that I am oh-so-awesome trendy lady. The fact of the matter is: I never wanted to be trendy. TREND practically excludes a personal style because people who have a personal style do not stick with a trend or change everything when the trend changes. I always had my own head, my personal opinion and my personal attitude. TREND is directly opposite to an independent way of life.

These are the reasons why I have to declare war to trends.

If the global population was less like sheep, the trend would not have gotten so big. Media facilitates the trend. Profit taking is huge with trend. Financial gains for trend-setters are insane. I don’t want to support it. Instead, I want my choices back. I want access to things that are not trendy, or don’t seem to be, but I like them. It prefer them.

The only thing the TREND does not do is: it does not suit me. It does not fit me. I am somebody who has my own brain. I am somebody who has a strong personal style. I am somebody who thinks and lives independently.

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The soothing Sunday thoughts: absolute calm

The sun is quite low

No wind swirls a leaf

Clouds have flown away and taken

Storms somewhere else

Thoughtfulness in each stem of the grass

Everything is at rest

Including my usually racing thoughts

Rabbit in the evening sun

Lazy and satisfied with the green grass meal

Chipmunk runs along the fence

And disappears in the soft shadows

Squirrel sneaks up on my plants

Bird on the fence, staring onto the sky

Sparrows chatting about a piece of bread

And otherwise it is silence

Too deep to realize this is life also

Life at rest

Such absolute undisturbed calm

Soft purple

Dreamy pink and

The happy rabbit

To illustrate the absolute calm, I took a few pictures. Rabbit was the most patient model, and obviously plants were not moving. Chipmunk disappeared before I got my camera, squirrels usually run somewhere and bird took off.

Patch of sweet compliments on broken promises

How many broken promises are necessary to turn a believer into a skeptic?

For some: just a few, for others: hundreds and even more.

“I am going to check it out for sure,” the wide eyes look at me with such a genuine honesty. She seems to be really excited. However, I know that’s just her being polite. I also know that most people do not do what they say. By now I have learned that.

“I really love this work; it’s so beautiful and vibrant. I will certainly come back to pick it up some time later today,” once again a genuine interest in face and very promising nodding of head. To emphasize how sure she is that I can rely on her readiness to purchase the art. People who are serious usually do not stop at promise. They take some steps right away. I have learned to distinct that by now, as well.

“We will definitely come to your event. We love this type of activity”. And they never do. I believe, since I relocated in 2004, I have been misled with polite, but empty promises for at least a few thousand times. That has resulted in doubting everything until I really have a proof of that particular thing being true. Terrible, right?

When I just arrived in Canada, I took all promises for true. I was used that people would only say something like that if they meant it. I learned after some 5-7 years here, that this practically means nothing in Canada. There are occasions when somebody really does what they told they would, but most often these are just pleasing phrases to get out of situation. Why do we need that? Polite, kind, hearty, misleading promises?

I am usually asking at the end of each session: please, let me know if you are or are not going to continue. There is usually a huge excitement: that was so much fun, I learned so much (even those who did not that well), I am definitely going to be back. I am more adapted to the pleasing kindness of this country now, so I don’t expect much of this to come true. Most often it does only at a rate of 10%.

That makes things complicated. What would happen if they told: well, I enjoyed it this far, but I cannot make it back because I think my progress is too slow or because it takes much more time and efforts than I expected. Or even: I don’t like it, or I feel it isn’t what I thought it would be. I have rarely heard people saying: this is terrible, this is not for me, I am not interested at all, I don’t really care, etc. Instead, it always is how pleasant, beautiful, wonderful and amazing whatever is, and how much they love it.

If I had done my medical writing promising clients that I would meet any abnormally tight and impossible deadlines, I don’t think I would have kept these clients. I have learned over many years while being self-employed that one should only promise what they are sure they are capable of doing. Period. I haven’t missed any single deadline within more than 35 years of doing medical translations, writing and editing not because I am a super-diligent and obsessive writer, but because I take the worst scenario and calculate time required for whatever task. I can still get myself into troubles and it’s possible I would need to work very late at night into the next morning, but that excludes major disasters. Life is life. Power can go out, we can get colds, etc., but the most important aspect is that my promise includes my ability to deliver whatever I have promised on time.

Trust is a big deal. A normal human would at first trust if there are no big bells ringing that there is something wrong with this person. It is almost like our predefined settings dictate to at first trust somebody and only doubt their actions and words when there appears to be a heavy reason for that.

I read that somebody wrote in their blog post: we all make promises we don’t keep.

Well, that is wrong. It is wrong at least from my perspective. Not all of us make such promises.

There are people who won’t compliment when there is nothing to compliment for and there are people who will honestly refuse, decline and turn down invitations, requests, calls for helping out and similar things. I look at it this way: nobody pressures me to apply for everything, to be present everywhere and to carry out every possible task there is. Why would I agree to do something which doesn’t fit in my schedule or goes against my principles? I don’t think that saying “no” is impolite.

From a very early age, I was taught to keep my promises realistic and tell the truth in cases when I expect delays. That included also telling why I don’t want or cannot do some particular task. That includes telling people some things do not fit in your schedule and priorities are priorities.

Telling truth does not mean necessarily offending somebody. It is much better that putting a patch of sweet compliment on big lies.

What do I gain by taking everything with a grain of salt? A lot. I save a lot of disappointment; I don’t have false expectation and unrealistic hopes. That allows being happy when things unexpectedly turn out better and when everything goes smoother than anticipated.

I personally appreciate honesty and truth. That means there are people who I trust completely. For instance, if my daughter or my sister say I look terrible in some outfit, my make-up is bad or my hairdo is wrong, I do not get upset or angry. I go and change my outfit; I correct my make-up or hairdo because these people would tell me TRUTH. I am lucky to have a husband who is very honest and whose opinion I can value and trust.

I wish business relationships were as honest. I don’t think one can ever get over the small lies which happen again and again. Broken promises hurt. It doesn’t matter if that is a promise to show up at a certain time or a promise to lend million bucks. Be honest and stay real: that’s not much to ask, or is it?

Preventable accidents and coincidences: a few hospital stories

If we knew where we fall, we would put down a pillow to save us.

Sometimes, the guardian angel does this for us: I mean these situations when somebody is very unlikely to make it, but they do.

Guardian angel

Painting by Murillo, public domain image

There are moments when we have done everything we could, but the disaster happens regardless of that because we are at a wrong place at a wrong time.

The sad consequences of life threatening accidents

I am a survivor of such an accident. I believe I survived due to my spiritual and mental strength, fighting power and love to life, but for the main part: due to the knowledge and devotion of the treating physician. There was 24/7 monitoring and all 9 surgeries went well.

One is never completely new after being fixed. Whatever our injuries, they leave after-effects, and they can be devastating. Chronic pain and anxiety are just one side of such post-accident experiences.

However, it is not that we cannot prevent the regular daily troubles by putting down such a pillow: preventing accidents, injuries and diseases from happening.

The unforgiving negligence

The reality is such that if there is chance for something bad to happen it most likely will. Placing hot items on the edge of any surface is lack of caution; that refers to hot coffee cups and other dishes with boiling hot liquids. Leaving harmful liquids in inappropriate containers or easy to access places is dangerous. I witnessed while practicing at hospital how a man had gotten major stomach injuries because he had been preparing pickled fish and also was having a glass of drink at the same time. He accidentally drank the highly concentrated vinegar by taking a big mouthful from the glass. Kids use to grab anything and try its taste whenever something is available for them to reach: kids have been hospitalized with laundry soap intake, vinegar and alcohol intake, not to mention after eating a lot of strong medication. In those, cases prevention would have been easy: just do not leave anything out there and within their reach.

Drunk driving and aggressive behavior of addicted spouses and friends

The major and absolutely preventable accidents are caused by driving drunk or high. Human perception changes to abnormal extent under the influence of alcohol and substances that alter brain chemicals. It’s needless to say, nobody should ever do that, but we are witnessing this again and again, and there is no end of people who put their and other peoples’ lives at risk.

I spent almost a year in a hospital. I had quite a few fellow patients, and their stories were sad. A young woman across my bed was thrown out of window from the 5th floor by her husband. It’s hard to describe the feelings she was going through when she woke up after surgical treatments. Some accidents mean: the one who was super healthy, will be partly or completely immobilized for life and having major health consequences.  However, when I had already recovered to some extent, I went to see her, and guess what? She was back with her offensive, aggressive, drinking husband, and I could see they continued the same what had been the cause of her very long hospital stay. I asked her: why didn’t you go somewhere else? Anywhere? She said she couldn’t walk and there was no place for her to go or work and so she couldn’t support herself. Well, this wasn’t any better or easier.

The fact of the matter is that the aggressive behavior when it is caused by addiction to substances rarely changes. The only hope would be in case somebody gives this up completely. However, there is always a risk of relapse with such people.

I have seen and read a lot of stories how people can recover from addiction, but that happens only when that person genuinely wants it, is ready for it and can replace the addiction with something that fills up the emptiness which occurs after they have given up their terrible habit. Art groups, social clubs, interest groups, sports and church groups are very good thing to start with.

She needed a new face: victim of drunk driving

The other woman in my hospital room didn’t have her real face any more. She was driving and got hit by another car; it was nose-to-nose crash at a high-speed, so the upper part of her car got literally taken off. Doctors restored her face as much as it was possible which meant creating a new nose and putting in place cheek bones, jaw bones and implanting new teeth. When she was that far that she could look at herself in a mirror, she was in shock. There was a scary silence for a while. It’s not me, she screamed. What do I do now, nobody will recognize me and my kids will not believe it’s me? Her kids were 4 and 6, two girls. They had kept these kids away from hospital for a while, just to get more time and to put off the unpredictable and potentially upsetting first time meeting in person. That couldn’t go on forever, so kids were taken to the hospital to meet their mom approximately 6 months after the accident. Everybody was crying: this lady, her daughters, every doctor and every patient in the room. At that moment, girls did not recognize their mom, they couldn’t believe and accept that was her because that was virtually a completely different woman in the hospital bed, not the one who was residing in their memories. It took many meetings and long time until everybody found peace of mind and re-established their relationship. This tragedy was caused by a drunk driver.

drunk driving victims

Public domain image

Physical and mental abuse: things that cannot be straightened out

People also usually do not take into account that racial, national and cultural diversities can be a problem exaggerating and issue causing aspect. Although, we are all humans, our background is very distinctive. Things that are very acceptable and very appropriate in some country, community or family, can become a subject of never-ending arguments, and eventually cause the relationship to go toxic.

As we were diagnosing patients in the urgent surgical care department at a hospital, the professor who was taking us around warned before we entered an intensive care unit: “This lady didn’t listen to her parents who told her not to engage with this particular man who is in custody at the moment. Dear girls, do not marry people who have completely distinctive background!”

The sight was extremely shocking: there was practically no face or something one could recognize as a human face, hence, it was some kind of extremely swollen dark blue, black and purple-read smashed raw meat. Eyes were not visible; they were somewhere deep under the swelling. The person could not speak, swallow anything, and not even water because of broken jaw bones. The professor lifted sheets and, as far as it was visible, the body was in exactly the same condition: bruises, hematoma at many spots, swollen limbs and torn wounds, huge five-finger imprints in bright dark purple color around the neck told that she was also been choked. Stabbed with sharp, but luckily not too wide kitchen knife which occurred to be of a flexible metal and that practically had saved her from more serious internal injuries. Her recovery took about 18 months and included fraction cure, sutures, treatment of neuroses, anxiety, abnormal physical pain and series of restorative surgery. They were successful with fixing her, and this was a case which had a happy end. Not all do.

Her husband came from a Russian family with a long history of alcohol abuse, imprisonment, family fights, strange concepts about marriage and trust, and he used to interpret the reality in a way that was severely distorted by prison moral. He was pathologically jealous, and every episode of alcohol use in excess caused him to become extremely aggressive. The closest target was always his new wife who was a young student, just relocated to start studies at the university. How do such people meet? Easy. At a bar, at a concert, and these aggressive manipulators can pretend being the nicest people on the globe when they want or have to.

Cutting off a toxic relationship

We should listen to people who care about us and warn us. We should take into account the harsh reality and advice that comes from people who have gone through hell. Do we? I did not listen to my parents and suffered for 19 years. Why? Who knows, I believed I could fix and straighten out anything. My daughter initially did not listen to me and my parents. These toxic relationships are lost time, it is time we have stolen from ourselves. Thankfully, my daughter and I found great, rewarding relationships after years of struggles. These valuable relationships contribute daily to our well-being and personal growth.

We have to learn cutting off a toxic relationship straight where it starts, not allowing to evolve into something more serious and destroying. I don’t mean only spouses and closest relatives. We have to avoid and, if necessary, immediately walk away from toxic relationship that hurts, abuses and exploits. That is the best prevention from any more serious mental and physical suffering. It is not worth it. There are so many nice people out there, and it makes sense to keep reaching out for them.

Happiness is moody: life lessons

The New Year has walked across the globe by now.  Although, it is just a date, a reference mark along the way, we meet the January 1st as if it is a new beginning, a new way of life, a new hope and a new happiness which awaits just behind the next bend. Or does it?

I don’t think I can go through one more year like the last one. I will do my best not to, that is for sure. I look around, and I am much surprised how I actually have got done so many things. I sometimes cannot believe I did that because there were so many days in the last year I was unable to walk, to sleep, to feel somewhat ok. I certainly hope the 3 year-long terrible suffering is over and, hopefully, the issue is resolved. It should be. Will it?

Many years ago, a Latvian poet wrote some sad lines: “When the pain will stop, when it will completely end, everything else will end, as well.” That is exactly what it is since pain is a sign of us still being capable to take on new struggles and to prove we can resist it and get over it. It is difficult, indeed. I’m not talking about physical pain only which can be so strong that nothing more exists: it surrounds one as a thick cloud leaving no space to breathe. I’m talking about life that runs away like sand in an hourglass. Lost time, lost opportunities and lost days. So many.

My current condition was caused by negligence of quite a few physicians: GP who quit the job later, a few others who were supposed to come up with correct diagnosis, but didn’t, and, finally, the surgeon who took everything the light way: everything is fine. Right. Any of this could be avoided if the doctor ever paid attention to what patient says and knows. Yet, they don’t. I have heard so much nonsense during these years that I have all rights to say: the health care system in Canada is broken, and it is very hard to understand how some doctors without any competence in complex medical matters can be employed as such.

Well, I am hopeful because the hope is always there: the next day will be much better, the next month will be much easier, the next year will be much nicer to me. It should be. It better be. Or otherwise what? Nothing. It’s about time I return to things that make me happy.

life-lessons-blog-2

As a young kid I had to walk to school for quite a distance every morning. I hated mornings because I was usually reading all night, and it was extremely difficult to get up. We used to live on a high hill. As I walked, and sometimes the weather was just really nasty, I could see another hill, far away. That hill always seemed to be sunny when it was windy, cold and rainy or snowy where I was. I have no explanation for that, but the sun just loved the distant hill. I often thought: I’m going to get to this other hill. I’m going to live my life on that sunny hill. Years passed by, but the other hill remained in quite a distance. I moved to a place from another side of planet across the ocean. I left that hill there, in Latvia. I don’t even know if it is visible anymore because any landscape changes a lot over 50 years. I am still on the way to that hill. Am I any closer? Maybe. I just know I’m not on it, I haven’t reached the point where I want to be, to live, to stand, to exist yet. Will I ever? Does anybody ever have it all? The truth is: we get something and we pay a lot for it. We sometimes pay more than we ever imagined was possible.

The truth about anything that doesn’t kill us and makes us stronger is only in that regard that we know we are not giving up that easily now. Is it necessary to become stronger this way? Not at all. So much energy goes to waste which could be used for way more rewarding things, things that actually make one’s life relevant and significant.

It was sunny during the day. That might be a good sign. A sunny year? How wonderful that would be!

life-lessons-blog

Wishing everybody to avoid unnecessary struggles and to reach your sunny hill whatever way you take in 2017!

Christmas fairy tale: Going home

Going home for Christmas

The lonely walker feels that home shouldn’t be far anymore. A full moon just like 2000 years ago has scattered silver and snow diamonds all over the frozen trees and along the path. The lonely walker does not feel tiredness or exhaustion. The warm flavor of freshly baked bread and pies will be mixing together with the adorable scent of Christmas tree, and that is a dream to come true for somebody who hasn’t had eaten home-cooked meal for quite a while. He has a small gift for everybody, it wasn’t much he could buy, but he is full of hope that the gift of love should be enough for everyone.

Shadows stretch across the road and fade away in the distance. The sky is covered with black velvet and large stars appear on it like golden distant sparkles from eternity. Hardly any wind disturbs the frozen landscape, it is the silent night and everybody who has a home is trying to be there by now.

Candles are everywhere and their flames whisper: it is so peaceful and magic, and the shine in our eyes, the sparkles in the tree, the shimmering of stars in the sky confirm: there is no other miracle possible and needed. Lights are in every window, on any porch and the sounds of Christmas songs are flattering in the crisp air.

The lonely walker rushes his steps, although, the snow is deep and it can be quite tricky to get over some snowdrifts. He isn’t angry about the small obstacles on his way home. He knows he is getting closer and closer with every step, and the roof top should become visible just behind the next bend. A dog is barking somewhere from the darkness, some metal gate opens and closes, sounds vibrate far away and make one long even more for being in the safety and calm of his own home.

Just along the old apple trees, just five steps up onto the porch, and the door opens. For a moment he is blinded by all the warm and bright coziness of the inside, and it smells ever so good in here! Hugs follow hugs, and there is nothing like returning home for a lonely walker through the night.

Yet, one from the distance is watching these smiles and kisses and listening to laughs, and he is aware they don’t know how carefully and softly he is holding their every move in his welcoming and forgiving hand. The one who shines the light through the deepest night.

 

Going home for Christmas

The soothing Sunday Thoughts: I saw this morning

autumn-leaves-2

I saw this morning

How cautiously a leaf was swirling

Down to the ground.

And hesitantly,

And as if wanting to make this moment

An endless dance.

The tree had let it go,

To fly, to shine and die.

Small, tiny star, made up of purest gold,

With sunshine in its veins

And rain in every cell.

It had accomplished

Its mission.

Good bye is in the air,

And wisp of smoke from fire,

From burning leaves.

It raises straight to heaven,

To reach the clouds.

The wisp of smoke from tiny burning star.

autumn-leaves-3

P. S. We have been awarded with a fantastic, sunny weather. It is so warm, and the air is full of fall flavors. The sun is just dancing in reflections and leaves. The beauty of this season is breathtaking and sad at the same time: this is the feast before the long silence and sleep, yet, there is no way to describe the passionate intensity of leaves. My artistic nature enjoys every shade of these colors, every shape of disappearing beauty, and these days have been so uplifting, cheerful and inspiring.

autumn-leaves-1

I wish everybody a pleasant walk into the fall!

autumn-leaves-4

The soothing Sunday thoughts: castles of sand

castlesofsand-1

I know they won’t be able to withstand the big waves and the stormy winds. I keep building them regardless. Lots and lots of marvelously shaped wonders made out of zillion sand crystals. Castles of pure sand.

I know very clearly, and it is so obvious that such buildings are for a moment and they won’t last. They never do. Why to bother? Why to put in so much time in something evanescent that only passes away in the moment it is created and is unable to survive? Did I think this would be an exception? Did I believe that our dreams can magically turn sand into gold? Steel? Glass? Concrete? Wood? I must have been really silly believing in the magic of imagination. I must have lost the thin line between daydreaming and reality.

I build them all day. Long rows of beautiful and tall sand castles. I get up in the morning; pack up my pain and depression so they can enviously stare at my creations. When the weather is smooth like a silk scarf and the sun just sends down the first beams to explore the coastline, I am ready to get to my never-ending work: I am focused, determined and extremely self-conscious. I don’t need any plans, I don’t care about schedules. I always hope this day is going to be better than the previous one. In fact, it never is. My castles are fine. Materials and place are wrong. If it only was some other place. If I only had something stronger for my castles. So the night sets in, waves rise and they level down my creations. When I look at the same place next morning, all I can see is an empty sandy coast. No sign of anything from the day before.

Well, it has come to the point when I have to make a decision. I have two bad choices to consider. Doing nothing is not a good choice and doing something might worsen the current situation. It is as if I am standing at the crossroads and neither one of four roads promises to end in a good destination. Or do they? There might be something hidden behind the hills, there might be a good news waiting. Meanwhile, the days have been quiet and fairly empty. Foggy, meaningless and painful. The only thing to hold on has been castles built of sand. Fragile, unsafe and only for a short moment standing. They cannot become a shelter. They cannot save anybody from the storm. Why to bother? Why?

I would say there is always still hope even with a hopeless intention and an impossible purpose.

castles-of-sand-2

The soothing Sunday thoughts: what does he see?

Look at the old man,

He is so peacefully sitting under the apple tree.

What does he see?

Rivers rushing away like years,

Somebody’s face who he kissed

Under the blossoming apple tree?

What does he see?

Was that a glimpse in eternity?

No more urges, no regrets and discoveries.

It is all gone, but he finally has no need

To rush, to chase, to speed.

What does he see?

Nobody runs away from the death,

Nobody gets away with his sins.

He has now time and he just dreams it away

Under the blossoming apple tree.

What does he see?

It feels like he has the answer,

It feels he has got the entire eternity.

Eternity 1

The soothing Sunday thoughts: late autumn midnight

Look how leaves are dancing and swirling around, and it is such a sad dance with wind whispers brushing our face and with colors fading away and making a room for the silence.

Autumn is here nature photography

The silence covers our daily struggles and doubts with weightless cloth of dusk as the darkness sets in to rescue us from the exhaustion. Or? Or to torture us with its deceptive softness and tranquility. Some of us cannot close our eyes and to say the prayer with hope that the next day is going to meet us with more enjoyable expectations.

The bare trees share our despair, but the cool sun tries to make everything looking better and more attractive. Or? Or our wrinkles are visible so well in the bright sunlight and there’s nothing else we can do about it. Not at this moment which takes so much away and leaves nothing instead.

I am finding that getting older has made me more moderate and more appreciative of half-tones; grey shades, soft shadows, fine lines and I can also see the entire autumn within just one leaf, I don’t need the whole tree anymore. Or? Or this is the experience reminding that nothing is here to keep. I am writing down this moment and splashing some paint over paper. Somebody might find it, and they would be speculating: who did this and why these colors are so strange and washed out?

Like a very late autumn day with just one leaf still not saying good-bye and not taking off the tree. Or my steps which get lost in the rustling layers of leaves. This is how the day walks away, too. So little done, no perfect memories remain, no bad pain, no huge achievements. Just small steps melting away in the rustling leaves. There is no one single color missing: the mosaic is complete.

Autumn is here nature photography

Soft and luminous

Autumn is here nature photography

Grey and soothing

Autumn is here nature photography

Tiny apples

Autumn is here nature photography

Late late autumn

Autumn is here nature photography

 

Garden is going to sleep

Autumn is here nature photography

Windy memories

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