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Posts from the ‘writing’ Category

What it takes to switch from victim to creator of your life

Everybody would agree that they are a part of any situation in their life.

You got married because it was what you wanted, you took a job whether you liked it or it was necessity, you got yourself addicted whether that was your own idea or somebody helped you onto the path of addiction. You stayed in the same town for 50 years because you either felt scared of moving or getting into better life. You got sick because of your habits. You got into accident because the chain of events placed you in a wrong place at a wrong time.

Victim of life

If you are a victim, everything acts against you; you receive no fair treatment from world, weird and bad people come along, somebody steals from you, somebody offends or bullies you frequently and health is in hands of your doctors and the only help comes from procedures and medications. You desperately want to be happy and rich and possibly famous, and definitely healthy, and for some unknown reason, the universe is against it. It disagrees.

Everything that happens to us happens because of us. We become the subject.

We are always involved in things we want or do not want to happen in our life.

But how to become the one who orchestrates and manages situations and events which is our life?

How to make it depend on us, not somebody or something else?

We have created our life and we keep doing so

Many people will completely disagree that they have created every single situation and event in their life. It is because the conscious mind will quickly supply us with numerous examples which put us as a victim in one or another situation. The conscious mind will promptly give numerous excuses and opportunities to blame something or somebody why one or another thing happened or did not happen to you.

The famous saying about things you cannot change and things you can:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Well, that is a true guide into giving up and allowing somebody or something to victimize you, to run your life and to turn you into a victim.

To put you in a stream of events where you swirl around like a dry fallen leaf.

Things you cannot change, what are they?

What is that you cannot change? Time you are given for your conscious life. The place, time and family you are born in.

You cannot bring back to life people who are gone, but you can change the way you experience that. Change that 100%.

Practically everything else is a variable.

The subconscious mind knows that.

Why don’t we have access to the part of us which is so crucially important? To the subconscious mind which has access to the universal knowledge of everything in the universe and beyond because it has existed always and it does not expand or shrink, but it keeps gathering and exchanging energetically loaded information.

The lost key and how to open the door

The knowledge is there, the door is locked and we have lost the key.

Most people never think about their subconscious mind and don’t even try to open it because they don’t believe in it. If we do not believe in something, it still exists. Just as things we haven’t seen, haven’t heard about or are not aware of. They all exist somewhere and at some point in time.

We can gain access to our subconscious mind after fasting whether we do that intentionally or not when a person starts seeing, hearing or feeling things which do not exist in the visible word and cannot be perceived with our conscious mind. Quite many people report how they became aware of past and future events, as well as could give information about people they never were familiar with.

After fasting or starving some people started seeing global events and predicting future.

The door to the hidden resources can be opened by a massive or extremely strong physical or mental impact: which can literally be a lightning hitting somebody and after that experience they are resuscitated. Such experience removes all layers that hide our understanding about everything: universe, past, other dimensions, current situations and future, and the way we try to feel about and perceive us and our life.

Take the opportunity

You are not a dry mindless leaf in a stream of events taking you down waterfalls, throwing out on dry fruitless sand or freezing in an ice cube.

You have all the resources of the universe at your hand and the universal mind gives you what you have prepared yourself for. It also gives us the right situations to pursue our goals. The only thing is: do we want to do that?

Lupus in fabula

I am sure that most people know what “lupus in fabula” in Latin means. I have seen that English rephrases it as “Speak of the devil or talk of the devil”. My native Latvian language has a very close translation to Latin which is widely used also “If you mention the wolf, it will show up”. It is not always referred to as something bad or evil. It can be as talking about a particular person and that person shows up or in the widest sense of meaning” it is understood as “whatever you talk (or think) about will happen, come along or be received”.

That is a very close explanation of subconsciously managing events or situations in our life.

We frequently speak or think about bad things with the aim they would never happen to us and we could avoid them.

We bother a lot about lack of something, especially money, or we describe ourselves in a condemning way as dumb, stupid, loser, idiot, fat, ugly, fool and so on. Let’s just say, we cannot do that unless we strictly believe we are the way we have described ourselves.

Bad things we call for

Thinking about tiredness, lack of energy, feeling or being sick, exhausted and even more so when declaring this fact very many times a day makes it a statement under which you become what you declare.

I am so tired.

I am so sick.

I am helpless.

Whenever you make it sound like your most important statement, you are literally talking about the Devil which will show up and not leave. You have convinced yourself that you want to follow the program: I am so tired, so sick, so helpless and exhausted. Day after day, after day.

Will just plainly saying or thinking about things you are not convinced about and believing in make them happen? No. But it might a tiny step to better vibrations you emit, therefore, attracting the situation you want to find yourself in.

It is done unto you as you believe

Most people who are familiar with Bible and its interpretations have repeated numerous times and been aware of words in Matthew 9:29 – It is done unto you as you believe.

We are not talking about the Bible or belief and faith this time.

I would like to simply point out that this approach has been known probably ever since humans existed.

If you completely and without any smallest doubt believe in something or if you are convinced down to the bottom of your heart about something, it will happen and become reality.

Do you believe that you are the boss of your life?

Do you believe that the Universe puts you every time in the best scenario that it can put together for you based on your actions, words, thoughts and belief?

Do you believe and are sure that you can change absolutely everything?

Do you believe that it is you who runs and manages your life? That there are no things which happen to you without your participation and without you being the conductor of all events in your life orchestra?

Once you become aware and start fully realizing that this life of us is what we create together with the universe, God, other people and nature for us, you will see that changes are possible.

The things you thought you could not change might disappear without your direct action, but you will notice them go away.

Switch from victim to boss

The only thing is that you have to make an insane switch.

You have to forget about things that you cannot change.

You have to put the focus on being the boss, creator and manager of your own life.

You go from: I cannot do anything about numerous situations and things in my life, to

I can create everything and steer it towards my goals and I can move mountains if they are in the way.

So, you can be a victim of unfair treatment, bad attitude, lack of many things and bad coincidences or you can switch to being 100% in charge of your life.

By doing so, you have to forget that somebody or something else is to blame for things that you didn’t want to happen to you.

It is all you: who you attract, who you meet, where you go from there and what it results in.

It depends only on you whether you sail through bad situation or get stuck in it.

We have created every single situation in our life.

We have led us to the point where we are.

We are usually not aware of that, and it might take time to see how the chain of events was put together. It is also so that our own life does not always start with the day we are born.

I have intended to explain about signals and vibrations we send out and how that attracts and places people in our life in some of next posts.

Lilac, poem, and giving my blog a new direction

Lilac

 

Lilac blossoms blending with twilight:

Purple passionate scent of eternal,

Feeling of everything fading away.

 

Being beautiful without a purpose.

 

Lilac scent melts in the night air,

Twilight calm will fall down very soon

To end this moment with a period mark.

 

The day is so tired, too, time to rest.

 

The night sky uses blush, a lot of it

And the purple scent becomes a shadow.

It is always twilight in some places.

 

It is so complete with the lilac scent.

 

Morning finds birds sipping the morning dew

From tiny cups filled with sunlight pearls.

I paste this moment in my good memories folder.

 

Scents will evaporate, just like us.

 

My personal recovery experience

People, who read my posts, know that my health issues have been resolved completely thanks to my new skills and change of dominance in my mind..

I have learned a lot from my past experiences, and I intend to move on very healthy, with good reasons, not allowing anything to offend or disrupt my intentions.

I am doing much better because I rely on myself and I have learned that by becoming a much better person I am helping not only myself, but also people around me.

I will explore a wide variety of topics that relate to staying young, fit, healthy, stress-free, active and satisfied with my new life.

I am 60 this summer. Apart from the bad accident in 1992 and chronic pain because of that, I have been very fine so far. I took the previous experience as an important lesson. I realize that something in my behaviour, thoughts and intentions was causing it. I will use my experience as a stepping stone in order to bring more light in this life.

I have learned that being kind, nice and good to others and oneself is the most  important thing in our life as we attract the same attitude, the same type of people and the same type of response.

I pay special attention to these 5 most important aspects:

  • healthy weight and ability to be active and pain-free;
  • effective metabolism and well-performing digestive system;
  • daily and hourly stress relief and efficient coping mechanism;
  • natural, simple and rich nutrition that takes minimum time;
  • excellent memory and powerful cognitive function.

How nature is always our best advisor and supporter

Whenever something goes wrong, the easiest way to fix this problem is turning to the nature.

I have written already about that and I will be writing even more.

Gardening is a huge part of it. People sometimes say, they do not have enough space, yet, all the backyard and front yard consists only of grass and a few flower pots. Every vegetable and herb one grows in their own garden is about 100 times better than we can buy at a grocery store. Even with organic produce, we get vegetables, fruit and herbs which have been sitting on a shelf for a while. You will always know what your vegetable is consuming if you grow it. Tiny and small gardening does not require any weed killers and pesticides. We can live extremely well using just some natural things to get rid of bugs. However, they rarely happen in a small garden because you can prevent bad things from happening quite easily.

Nature is always on standby for our mental comfort and stress relief

No gym can ever compare to gardening and walking in fresh air. Many people take exercising way too far and cause premature wear and tear of their joints, tendons, muscles and ligaments. Our heart is also a very specific muscle that takes loads with its own attitude.

Upset mood and over-excited brain can be always fixed with breathing in fresh air and simply walking amidst the beautiful natural surroundings. Your brain loves bird songs instead of loud music; your thoughts get organized and are easy to sort out when the brain has enough oxygen.

How we look and how we dress

Aging does not mean one gives up the good looks they had when they were younger. Daily facial and body routine is a must. I am naturally blonde, so I have been using make-up from its early days, for about 45 years now. I do use some make-up even if I am alone at home. I do that to keep myself satisfied with the way I look.

Make-up helps to prevent skin diseases nowadays. There are wide choices and huge selection out there.

I learned sewing when I was 12. I did so because I always wanted to wear clothes that suit me, fit me and make me stand out. There have been periods when I have been sewing a new outfit every day, and there have been times when I have sewn something just a few times a year.

I am returning to more sewing and dressmaking again because the things one can buy at a store do not satisfy my demands and they are generally very low quality. It is also much more practical. We can recycle everything, but fast and cheap fashion is one of the biggest polluters on the Earth.

Artistic living for brain health and pleasurable life

If you read and follow my art website, you know that I have been a passionate art instructor for about 40 years, and I am as passionate about my own creativity. I started drawing at a very young age, and gradually added to that watercolor, acrylic and pastels. I became sensitive to oils, so, I had to forget about painting with oils. Drawing is a part of my excellent memory maintenance process. Having very well-performing visual memory definitely makes life easier. It always has: studying was easy, learning was easy and starting any new thing was easy.

Art, writing, journaling, outdoor drawing and painting: that is a daily feast for our soul. One can always find a suitable artistic way of self-expression. Art gives one the time for self-care. We forget about any problems while drawing and painting. We immerse ourselves into eternal and limitless.

Lilac, how to stay young

My Angel’s Day was a few days ago. The Angel my mom gave me is always watching over me.

Apple blossoms, how to stay young

The short spring brought us intense blossoming, the beauty was almost touchable.

How to stay young, nature, blossoming apple trees

I will definitely miss this old apple tree after we move to another place, it always greets spring with clouds of wonderful blossoms.

These are the themes I will be mainly focusing on.  Please follow me on Facebook

I will start a new artistic community page soon. This page will be primarily devoted to keeping our brain young and flexible with daily artistic challenges.

Please also check out my art website:  http://inesepogagallery.com/  It offers my own art and also numerous articles about how to start and keep drawing and painting.

I will miss the old lilac tree, as well, it has been my inspiration numerous times!

Lilac, poem, giving blog new direction

My plans are huge. I hope  everything goes according to plan, especially because we have to move soon to another place and that involves reorganizing life to be happy with the new beginning.

Did you know WordPress can block you from following?

I have been blogging since 2012.

I experienced some kind of disaster when I decided to move my art blog to a website last year or maybe a year before. Why did I go for all troubles which are associated with moving a large numerous pictures containing art blog to a self-hosted website?

Well, WordPress makes it account. It does not matter whether you have 1 blog, 2 blogs, 3 blogs or a website and blog: it is going to be one account. I had the art blog since 2012 and I started a lifeschool blog some time in 2014 I believe. I did not want to mix up my art, art classes and other artistic articles with the conclusions and observations I have made doing my medical research and writing for more than 3 decades. I thought it was a great idea. It actually wasn’t. Why?

Because WordPress makes it one account.

That means one blog is primary and visible and regardless of all my efforts, nobody knew the other blog existed, as well. The art blog had about 4 thousand followers by the time I moved it to a website because I was so tired of publishing articles which nobody ever saw.

The move was terrible since my files were huge, and, no, it did not go smooth as some instructions made me believe. Partially, that was because I chose the wrong host (based on a blogger advice, oh yes!). They sold me free theme and then I had to wait until refund rolls in since I wasn’t having much money. They tried to sell all kinds of things which I did not need or require, but having a website is expensive anyway: there are so many small parts that all cost. I am using the free theme and many free plugins, but I still have to allocate quite a lot of money for it. That is the history, so I have a blog, my lifeschool blog and my website, my art website.

Some time ago, I started to notice that I cannot follow anybody. I clicked once, I clicked twice, I clicked on like, that worked, but when I returned to the main website of somebody, I could see that I am not following them.

I believed it was some kind of a glitch. Probably temporary glitch, I assumed.

I let it slide since I was busy and that wasn’t the most important issue on my plate.

I found some really interesting website and a few blogs a while ago, and I got really angry that I cannot follow them. I copied the URLs here and there to find them again. Anyway, I asked the “happiness engineers” what was wrong. Oh well! I found out that I have been spotted by the system as somebody abusive follower last October. They told I was trying to attract attention and instead I should be writing a good content. That was very offensive. I believe these people who have read my stories, poems and articles, people, who check out my paintings, art instruction and advice for beginner artists definitely know that this is a unique content which takes me long time to create. I have actually never tried to follow somebody obsessively.

We all know that: system is system. System thought I was somebody trying to find followers and, thus, boost the visibility of my website and blog, and I do not believe that is true. WP said it was. I had last October followed many blogs in a short period of time. I tried to figure that out but couldn’t. I may have returned from Europe and after not seeing my blog and website for a long time, I could have responded to lots of comments and maybe followed some new fellow bloggers. I don’t know. Basically, nobody ever told me that. I never received any notification, any warning or anything. I believe you are not aware of that either.

I mean, I would have appreciated some notice, some suggestion or something. I am guessing that happened because I’m not that often reading the Reader, publishing posts, commenting, etc. since my health issues started 5 years ago. I might be doing all the commenting, following and liking job once or twice a month. Life is life. System isn’t human and it does not know that I have 1 hour only once or twice a month to do the following among other parts of blogging. Most likely, that’s how I got blocked out of following. Well, if I were so obsessed with following I most likely had noticed that sooner, not 7 months later.

I still remember how 6 years ago when I started blogging, I was advised to like, comment and follow other bloggers. Well, I take it personal and I felt upset. I’m not a new blogger; I’ve been on WordPress for 6 years. I am almost 60 and somebody who always follows rules and meets obligations. Always. I am aware that system is not informed about that.

I have to apologize to bloggers who may have thought I was ignorant or something. I lost some interesting blogs due to this for sure. Maybe we will meet again.

It also seems that system cannot get rid of definitely fake followers such as those who are ….outlook.com. I have deleted quite a few recently.

I wish, there was some advice for those who blog infrequently, just for a few hours a month and who try to do everything during these few hours instead of just blocking them out of following.

WordPress causes some problems

It does not feel right. We are sort of made to believe that website is a place where we can have a freedom to do things which we deem necessary, one of them being following other bloggers. Apparently, it is not the case. I believe before blocking somebody out of anything, especially if they pay money for their website that happens to be on WordPress platform, one deserves at least some warning or message, whatever. My personal situation is worse because I have a website and a blog. People who follow the art blog are not the same as these who follow the lifeschool blog. So, number becomes double. Dear system, you should be way more human! Other bloggers: be aware! System is watching, and God help if you follow too many people! I am afraid to follow anybody, to be honest. I believe a wrong person was punished here. They fixed it for now. They do not let one know what number indicates you are exceeding the normal following range: might be 5, 50 or 100. Who knows? I know that I never acted weirdly or obsessively.

Link to my art website for these who did not know I had it: inesepogagallery.com

Becoming an observer

It sometimes feels as if everything is simply flowing by.

There are lots of small distractive things to deal with, and they pretty much keep me away from doing something more meaningful.

Then, there is a feeling of pointlessness.

At a young age we are under impression that we have enough time to do whatever we will choose, to achieve whatever we have decided to and to engage in all kinds of undertakings that eventually lead us to the goal: a good, honest, happy and abundant life. This includes different things for different people. Some want children and some do not, some love studying and some would rather not, some of us see the importance of roots and family and some believe that family is holding them back.

When I was twenty, it felt like 60 years is eternity away: it seemed I have plenty of time to enjoy, to explore, to pursue real life goals and to correct mistakes which everybody makes.

My life involves much unexpected turns, very bad accident that changed everything 25 years ago and after that all a completely unexpected relocation across the ocean. I might not been ready for that. However, I am somebody who goes for an adventure or opportunity if there is one.

Years between 2004 and 2010 were wonderful, so full with life, so full with discoveries. I had huge expectations.

When I got health issues in 2013, lots of things slowed down and became hard to continue. I realized suddenly that nobody can ever regain the energy and the willingness to jump onto new beginnings we do so naturally at 20 when we pass the 50 line. That was the time when I had to push myself extremely hard to accomplish just simple everyday routine tasks, yet, I managed that.

I have become more an observer than an active participant.

I have always been a creator of situations, much engaged in the social scene. I was a high school teacher and college lecturer meeting literally hundreds of people every day. I loved my role as a smart, intelligent and well-educated person.

The one thing that matters to me is learning, studying and keeping the brain extremely busy and active.

I have always admired the brain power, the ability to think and find solutions, to make decisions and to act upon them. I do that still, I learn every single day. The medical writing job requires that. I am certainly thankful for the huge knowledge in any health-related matters due to this.

However, I miss the social engagement. I feel lost. Once you see that nobody actually needs you, you start to experience feelings of being abandoned. It seems that the big goals are also getting crashed. I have become a stranger in my native country and I am still a total stranger in the country to which I immigrated to.

This might be an issue of acceptance. I am quite frequently unable to accept some things here. I will never understand how mediocrity gets to the top because of their wealth. I will never understand how it is possible to idolize and adore some fancy person to the extent that people want to dress like that person and look and speak like that person.

I will never understand over-consumption which is the cause of most of our issues. I will never understand how people are lied to and cheated because of somebody making bigger profits. They get even praise for poisoning other people. That is awkward.

I am for fairness, truth and open-mindedness. Truth is not loved. Truth is frequently escaped using different means, would these be drugs, alcohol or convincing oneself that everything is great while it is far from that in reality.

I used to be a fashionista. I learned sewing very early: at 12. Ever since, I have designed and sewn plenty of designer-quality outfits not only for me, but for hundreds of other people, as well. I stopped doing that also because of pointlessness. How much does one really need? When I paint, I cannot wear anything good because it will have paint spots all over anyway. Fast fashion made it impossible to buy any good quality shoes or jeans or similar things. I just simply refuse to buy more low quality, made in China outfits. They are made of bad materials, they do not last and they do not fit either.

One more aspect became meaningless. So, most of them have.

It is more difficult to stick to the true you when there is no actual demand for being the top you. I am currently an observer. I will wait for a while yet until the troubles settle down to figure out the next steps. Where do I go from there? I don’t know yet. It is a process of re-inventing me. Will that be a better me? I do not know that either.

I do realize that these feelings might be caused by late and delayed spring. It has been a very long winter, and that can affect anybody with the seasonal affective disorder. I remember me hating winter ever since I was a tiny kid. That never went away. I cannot live normally in winter. I have lost many years of life due to winter. I believe these of you who also experience strong seasonal affective disorder know this very well: one only regains energy and willingness to be active once the weather turns warm and sunny again.

International Woman’s Day: history gets revised

Since the International Woman’s Day March 8, resonates with Me too and Time’s up movements in North America recently, this day has become more visible and more important by now.

It wasn’t actually this way before. I have been writing March 8 articles every year, and they quite often didn’t get much response. I believe it is because the day as such did not feel very important for many women or they associated it only with socialism and political movements, thus, it wasn’t widely popular.

While general articles mention North American and British suffragist movements as origin of this day, it is not entirely true. It is quite visible that the contribution of women fighters for female equality, such as Clara Zetkin, Inessa Armand, Alexandra Kollontai, the first soviet woman ambassador, and Nadezhda Krupskaya, Soviet Union’s Deputy Minister of Education and women’s rights advocate has actually not been acknowledged globally. I would think it is because they were all socialists, to some extent representing communism, and it is assumed that nothing good came out of all this movement and their personal fights. They actually addressed issues such as sexuality, abortion, marriage, divorce, morality, sexual relations between genders, family relationships, motherhood and role of mother, getting rid of male dominance in any area of life and physical abuse about 100 years ago in Russia and Western Europe at a time when nobody dared even to speak out about these issues. One has to remember that the state of education wasn’t really the same what it is right now, in 2018. Only the richest women would be able to obtain good education and it was rare they would have important political and executive positions, hence woman’s role was mostly understood as the one of a family member and mother.

The United Nations began celebrating International Woman’s Day on March 8 only in 1975.

This day was celebrated always in former Soviet Union as far as I can remember, and I am 60 this year. To me and many soviet era women from former soviet republics this day felt as one of the most wonderful days in the entire year. White and pink tulips, bright yellow daffodils and mimosa, as well as any early spring flowers were given to every woman. It was always celebration of a woman. This tradition continues in the independent Republic of Latvia, and it still goes very strongly.

What are the achievements due to the highly recognized role of a woman during the soviet and post-soviet era? There are actually many, although, we do not want to admit that. First of all, it was free education for everybody from the nursery school to the University. I had only excellent grades also while studying at the University, so, the government actually paid me monthly which was a huge financial aid. That means that the higher education was not only free, but also promoted in any possible way. The female dominance in higher education was absurd. I was studying foreign languages, and among students of many departments there were just very few male students with about 90% being female. This sounds crazy, and so it was. Male students would be choosing the Technical University and similar establishments, but still at a much lesser rate.

The aspect that was definitely promoted was female participation, equality and recognition of female achievements. It went way beyond that.

The period after the World War II was dominated by women in Latvia. First of all, there were more women who survived the war, and secondly, more women were well-educated. It went way too far in regard that women lost their female side and became work heroes: woman, the tractor driver and heavy machinery operator, the “rifle woman”, woman, the chair of an industrial plant who deals exclusively with work matters, denies make-up and fashion, denies any weaknesses and puts their political and social role above anything.

People who have seen the great movie of that era: Office Romance by Eldar Ryazanov (1977) certainly can recall the boss Ludmila Kalugina who is described by her subordinate employee as “dry, heartless and inhuman”. The actress portrays this image extremely well. Although, she is a very successful at work and managing the Statistics Bureau, she has lost absolutely all female attraction, she wears terrible, old fashioned clothes, her hair isn’t done and she looks at least 15 years older than her actual age. She is single. During this comedy, she gets transformed into a very attractive woman who has it all: excellent work position, beauty, love and family.

Office Romance, part 1 with translated subtitles

This image realistically depicts the overworked woman who neglects all other aspects of her life, and, therefore, she is single and replaces love and family with reading scientific literature and watching TV. The movie had huge success because it was true. Lots of women were so much in work and they had such highly responsible positions that there was no time or opportunity for them to address personal matters and their personal life.

Office Romance, part 2 with translated subtitles

You Tube

The scientific sector is dominated by women in Latvia: it is at 51% which is the highest rating among all European Union countries. It is not surprising, because traditionally and historically women have always been at the top due to excellent education, devotion and intelligence in Latvia. I mean, while living in Latvia I never felt any restrictions, any discrimination to me as a woman. It was, in fact, the opposite: starting with elementary school and ending with University, my success was always much acknowledged and I was always sitting in the first row when students were receiving yearly awards for state competitions in essay writing, geography, math, physics, foreign languages and visual art. Latvian women have also always been socially very active. It is pretty well-known that the Canadian Latvian Vaira Vike-Freiberga became a president of the Latvian Republic not that long ago.

 

The list of women high-achievers in Latvia would be very long and large. I suppose the roots and origins of female dominance in such countries as Latvia is somewhat historically and traditionally related to our life style and way of thinking. Latvian women have been and still are extremely independent and mentally strong.

I do miss a lot of that Latvian free spirit here in Canada. I’ve become invisible and I do not enjoy the social recognition I had back there. Well, I am kind of newcomer to Canada also, and I have been here for only 14 years yet. Ones efforts become much diluted in such a big place like Canada, and I feel that anything I do goes unnoticed to a big extent.

Well, this day is referred to in Latvia as simply Women’s Day, and it is celebrated in every family, at any workplace, at every school and at every office. It is a beautiful tradition which comes with spring flowers and feeling that spring and woman are synonyms.

This is a contribution to all women who are trying to be and feel equal in any walk of life. You certainly deserve all the most beautiful spring flowers that exist!

Being a freelancer: the tough ride

My work requires huge knowledge and insight in medical matters, conduction of clinical trials, knowledge in chemistry, biology, physiology, anatomy, as well as lots and lots of understanding of human genetics, brain function, including cognitive function and any mental disorders, pharmaceutical mechanisms of action and all kinds of dosing rules, medical interaction of pharmaceutical ingredients and things that apply to clinical indications, such as contraindications and also exceptions when using medication off-label.

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The soothing Sunday thoughts: peace, love and joy

I hope we are all at peace with each other

Since we are still sharing the candlelight

And a hug, a kiss and I love you

Whether you have just one slice

Of bread and a glass of wine

Whether you are in a castle

And you would never know

How much suffering is out there

I hope we are all at peace with the world

The fighter, the lover and the loser

The dreamer, the angry and the doubtful

The smart, the holy and the simple

I hope we are all at peace with our heartaches

Since we can still send our love

To those who are desperate, hungry and forgotten

I hope you can see some snowflakes

Dancing down and falling from the sky

The promise, the hope and the wisdom

Of someone who we all know

I hope you can see how snowflakes

Cover the graves, the streets and the cities

So that we all could have peace and joy

Like white, untouched and pure snow

At least in our thoughts

And the soft warmth of this calming candlelight

For I hope we are all at peace with ourselves and others tonight

Merry Christmas! Peace, love and joy to every home and family! Happy holidays blogging friends!

Life

Life isn’t what we think about it

Life is all the things what it does to us.

We are never in the same place. Ever.

As we stroll through the sky which is actually alive

With the speed that is not approachable even in sleep, even in dream

We do not know what is going to happen the next minute.

How would we know about the next year?

This is an endless flight which might end abruptly at the destiny’s door.

Between grasps of air some face reminds you that there actually was something.

Long ago. Far away.

Was that you setting up the alarm which never went off?

And so, we are flying without the warning system.

Without suggestions. Without instructions.

This flight has no stops.

We literally circle the sky until somebody gets moody or tired.

That’s when the next flood or ice age starts.

It would be unfair to just circle in the sky without ever learning anything.

So, what’s the lesson my dear?

Life isn’t what we think about it

Life is all the things what it does to us.

life

After extremely tough weeks of all kinds of health concerns and issues, after some sleepless nights and a very disturbing feeling of hopelessness, I am returning with a summary of thoughts about things which did not want to leave me alone.

I would love you to also stop at the art website: https://inesepogagallery.com/2017/12/10/shop-heartwarming-unique-nature-art/

I started an initiative to raise some money, but it got interrupted by different matters, including the lack of internet when construction workers cut off our cable. I’m not thrilled knowing that the next year might start off on the wrong foot with some delayed treatment. I haven’t had any chance to really try or sell anything this year, so, hopefully, you can help spread the word. I do appreciate any purchase of any creation on the art website.

A ghost from the past, a real life story

He sat down on the steps of the stairs that did not lead to the second floor any more.

Silence and darkness felt so thick that it became difficult to breathe. Blind windows were looking out with their empty eyes, half-destroyed walls and heavily damaged floor. The stove was still where it used to be and it joined the big chimney which was connected to a large heating oven facing the other half of the half-ruined building.

It was easy to recall the wonderful times here. This place was booming with life just 3 decades ago. Such a short time, in fact.

He swiped from his eyelashes a spider net that had accidentally stuck to his hair and forehead. He felt taller than he could remember because his head had never been so close to the top of the door opening. Well, everything had as if shrunk in size. Or maybe his perception had gotten larger?

He could imagine hearing laughter from the former living room, and the memory of people dancing with soft dance music was very much alive. He could remember the delicious smell rising up from the cooking stove and spreading out like a tasty great treat promising cloud. He could remember fragrances of perfumes and polished people talking about nothing and everything.

They were never short of anything. That was a simple, but abundant life. They were diligently pursuing their shy and modest happiness. Life was easy and they were young. Everything was easy.

Then there was that terrible accident. Sudden, unexpected, interrupting and tragic. He blamed ambulance, doctors at the small hospital, lack of decent medications, lack of knowledge, his own stupidity and the entire planet. She had disappeared as if never being on the Earth.

He didn’t want to stay alone in the old house, so, it was wakening for quite a lot of years. Housing market was down, and nobody showed much interest in this place. The house just did not want to sell.

He left for another town, closer to his mother and he had pretty much forgotten about this old place until one day he received a call. The caller briefly described how somebody had set the place on fire and there were only outer walls left. Pretty much everything was burnt.

The same night he went to see the place. It was not that far after all, and some kind of decision had to be finally made.

It had started to get darker. Twilight was setting down and made the roofs and trees down the hill look like in a fog. Pale half-moon was visible above the big tree at the house gate. The gate amazingly looked as if nothing had happened. Ever.

He walked through the open door, and that was a really disastrous scene that opened to his eyes. He tried to set up the phone light, but the battery was getting really low, so, he decided just to have a quick look around. There was nothing much to do or see. That was all his beautiful past right here and it looked like ashes and debris. The light was fading swiftly and it was time to get going.

A bright moon beam showed up through the opening of the window that was in the former living room. The lowers steps of fallen down stairs were visible. He was aware there were no steps, but that certainly did not disturb her.

She was slowly stepping down, the very long light hair and the long foggy color dress was waving as if in the wind.

There was no wind. She came with her own breeze that seemed to be upholding her quite well.

He wanted to scream and take a deep breath, but his heart began beating so fast that he felt insanely dizzy all of a sudden. The dark burned out walls started to dance around him and the floor felt as if sinking under his feet. He realized that no sound had left his chest, so he started to grasp for air and tried to hold onto something to maintain his balance.

It didn’t seem something felt wrong to her. Majestically, as she always did, she came closer and closer one gracious step at a time. Sparklingly white in the dark room, the very long white hair dancing with some inaudible music. The dress appeared to be made of transparent airy fabric that lifted up every time she made another step.

She was incredibly beautiful, she was. That was the last thought he could remember when waking up at a hospital.

It appears he had gotten out on the street and then felt down because of abnormally fast heart rate. He had fainted because of a strong and sudden rise in blood pressure. People had found him unconscious and called the ambulance.

He came back to himself quite quickly. His mother was sitting next to his bed.

“Well, how are you feeling?” she asked.

His mouth was dry, and the answer came somewhat delayed: “Dizzy. Weak. Silly. I want to go home”

“Doctor said some tests were necessary, so they will be back with the results soon. Let’s just wait and I will call a cab and take you to my place.” Mother was so old, but she was very decisive and her voice was as strong as it used to be 30 years ago.

“Sure. What is this small stinky book over there on the night table? It smells like it has been burning or something. I’ve never seen this book before.” He had noticed the strangely looking book and the smell was somewhat very annoying.

“They brought it with you because when by-passers found you, you were holding this small book tightly in your hand.”

“I see” he only responded because it did not seem to have any importance at the moment.

He could not even remember later how this book got home with him.

The test results were satisfactory, but he was warned he could experience sudden episodes of fatigue for a while, so it was better not to leave the house alone. He promised to do so and they were free to leave the hospital.

He kept experiencing nightmares and bad scary dreams after this incident every night. He was at the brink of losing his mind when he woke up in the middle of the night in cold sweat and trembling. He had lost his sleep and started losing his weight rapidly.

He had seen numerous doctors since, and nobody could find a serious reason for his headache, nightmares, blood pressure swings and absurdly fast heart beats. This condition did not go away, although, it never bothered him during the day.

He got finally tired of spending so much time in doctors’ waiting rooms. He got the address of a spiritual healer, mind reader and a person who could understand ghosts.

After the women had carefully listened to what happened, burnt out a few candles from the holy place and used different manipulations and talked to someone invisible, she finally came up with the suggestion: “The cause of your troubles lies in the small book you received from the other world. You are not the person to keep this book because you do not understand what is says and you cannot read the ancient script either. The only way you can return to your normal is you take this book back where you got it from.”

He did not like the idea. He did not like even thinking about walking in the dark, burnt out place.

“I know you are not excited to return there, but you have to put yourself together and be brave and get this done. Prepare before you go. Ask somebody to wait outside. Whatever way you do it, you have to get this book back there. Unfortunately, you need to do this at night. I wish you strength, and remember: it is much better to move forward without carrying your past along,” she said putting out the candle lights with a special metal apparatus that looked like face of evil.

He had prepared. He did not want to bother any friends and he felt strong enough because he knew what to expect this time.

He had bought gasoline and poured it all around the corners and all across the place. He wanted to finish with this place for good. Get rid of it. Make it disappear. Forever. It had not given him anything good. She was the past. She was somewhere else. She was never to return to this place again.

So, he sat down on the steps of the stairs that did not lead to the second floor any more. He thought she might appear from above or somewhere behind him. It didn’t scare him this time.

Finally, it was dark enough and late enough. The pale half-moon was almost above the trees and weak light beam crossed the room from the window opening to the door in the distant wall. There she comes. The long white hair and the long airy dress waving in an invisible and inaudible breeze. Silence is thick and only his heart beat interrupts it. He glances one more last time at the white silhouette and ghostly creature and says loudly: I am leaving now and I advise you to go away, as well. Take back the book, here it is.”

The pale half-moon shines on the face that had eyes and life in it some 30 years ago. Dress and hair swirl around her. Her steps are majestic and she moves in a flying motion.

He places the book on the steps before she has gotten too close. Gets a lighter and throws it into the puddle of gasoline.

He is not weak. He gets out behind the gate just to see how the building flares up against the night sky.

He walks fast and a few shivery street lights show the way. He walks away. He is done with the past and it will not come after him ever again.

It is quite chilly and he walks rapidly towards the lights of the town, towards the future.

Absence of shadows

We are shocked so frequently with extremely bad news.

We cannot be in a steady state of sorrow and grief.

I am focusing on the good things that surround me. These are mainly colors and the sunny backyard.

I used to cry for everything and I was crying a lot even reading books and watching movies. It seems I am in a place now where there are no long shadows.

It is much more peaceful since the entrance gate is locked. It’s not that I have built a wall around me, but I am carefully   selecting the things that get in.

When we allow strange forces and energies to take over, it can be very difficult to get back to oneself. Almost impossible since we are scattered all around like falling leaves.

I have to immerse myself in colors. The stunningly dark red and the blindingly bright yellow.

This is so refreshing.

I let my thoughts go.

I skip the sad pages and get back to colors.

It will be never so that everybody will smile and breathe easily. There is day and night. Light and darkness.

We are energy. We can be pure and clean energy and we can damage us allowing too many dark shadows cover up the light.

So, this is today.

I hope it is a good tomorrow.

I have no idea how the weather will be after that.

I am walking around live colors. I am inhaling them and they become a taste, too. What a relief! Meditation. Simply: I let the time disappear.

For it’s going to be a good tomorrow.

Beautiful picture gallery displaying fall nature, enjoy!

The red

 

The orange-red

The pink

The nicely pink

The yellow

The deeply red

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