Our new place – charming house with private park

On March 31, 2022July 10, 2022 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn blogging, hope, life34 Comments

It’s been 2 weeks since most of our belongings were moved over to the current location in Pickering Village. It is an interesting area which definitely stands out with old, attractive buildings. It has the flair of an historic village and there are numerous centuries-old trees. While the house we moved to features lovely living room which I am using for art purposes since it’s big, much bigger than my previous studio, it is a compact place. The woodwork has been preserved, and that gives extra character to staircase, doors and tiny-pane windows. What the place lacks in comfort, it has in abundance when it comes to uniqueness and character.

We have moved numerous times, too many to count actually. This by far was the absolutely worst and most difficult move. It stretched over 2 weeks or 6 days when the actual truck loading and unloading took place. Moving my belongings is a very complex matter. Hundreds of paintings need to be packed very safely and separately and so they must travel also. Paintings accounted for a full truckload. Moving to a smaller or noticeably smaller place is also an issue. All of a sudden, there is no place for anything. Add to that hired help who pack up all garbage and puts in one box socks and computer parts.

All room plants were responsible for one more truckload. There is absolutely no comfortable place for them at the moment, but I did my best. My hope is that over the spring and summer I can come up with solution. I just might. As it appears, thanks to my sewing skills, I have plenty of clothes – countless coats, sweaters, jackets, dresses and everything else. My husband also loves good quality outfits, so moving that all is always problematic. I have abnormally many books. While packing, I got so tired that I simply gave away about 120 of them, the ones which I don’t intend to read again. I have 3 monitors with 2 computers, husband has 3 monitors with his desktop. Imagine the piles of cords, connectors and wires? Although I had labeled everything so that I recognize it right away, no helpers did that. Somebody labeled frozen food box: pasta. It went bad.

It was about 16 truckloads of which almost one full load went back into garbage. That’s how great our help was.

But it’s over! The absolutely worst part when one has no clue where what is (thanks to guys throwing everything in a pile with no regard to where these things go) is a history. Kitchen is set up, our bedrooms are almost set up, music room needs organizing and art studio requires more work, too. However, I got my art supplies and I can start painting soon.

There is no garden to speak of, except it looks like a few flowers at the back door. The rest is like forest. I call it my private park because it’s huge. If I want to take a stroll outdoors, I just walk in my own park. I can see there a few huge, ancient oaks, a few tall maples, couple of firs, not sure what other trees are.

I was very sick during the moving adventures. I got sick 2 times actually, not with COVID, but I am sensitive to lots of things. I’m not sure yet if I can make here any garden, like I said, it’s mostly a forest-type of outdoors. There must be roots all over. The front part looks more promising, but it will require lots of extra soil. We moved out when there was snow on the ground and even snowstorm one day. I might get my rare plants from the previous place, and I might not. That I don’t know yet, even though the agreement says I can when the soil thaws. We will see when it is warmer. I have wildflowers here, and right now snowdrops have come up. White tiny snowdrops currently make up all my outdoor garden. It will take some time to get used living here. I cannot wait when the weather becomes warm. Until then, still lots to do. I have chronic exhaustion at the moment. Slowly, my energy will come back. The sunnier days, the better I will be.

I wasn’t having internet for about 2 weeks, no computer. TI never use phone for blogging, so that explains why I disappeared for a while. But you knew that, I’m sure you did that I won’t be blogging because of this move-of-the-century.

Have a great spring and thanks for reading!

Holding my breath and looking forward to better times

On February 28, 2022May 9, 2022 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn fear of future, guardian angel, hope, life, pain10 Comments

In the small while between my previous post and now, the whole world has changed. Just a month ago, nobody would believe the abnormal tragedies which are happening right now. Such disrespect for human life, such absolute disregard for the rest of the world! CNN news told: nobody expected this Russian invasion to happen. Wrong: people, who have experienced Russian invasion before, were certainly convinced that it doesn’t stop with demonstration of power and capabilities of armed forces. Who were they kidding with announcements of military exercises while drawing immense numbers of troops around Ukraine? Not me, I can say that much.

The warfare also takes place close to Latvia, Latvia has a 214 km long border with Russia and approximately 173 km long border with Belarus. It runs partly along the Daugava river. It was announced that Belarus has “de facto” given up its border with Russia, meaning, willingly and “de facto” joined Russia which was to expect. The current situation isn’t about Ukraine alone. Playing with the fire is probably a good description of this moment. When you are dealing with a power-driven aggressor, who seems to pretty much lost his mind and is ready to sacrifice not only lives of other nations, but also Russians, many of whom are against the war, against totalitarianism and unfair invasions, the threat becomes global. At this point, it feels like the world has to be on one side or the other: if you are not with, you are against.

I keep exchanging information with my family in Latvia daily. They see sooner what’s happening in Ukraine and they know people who are involved directly in fighting the Russian army over there. Can one be cautiously and moderately opposing an insane powerful aggressor like Putin? Absolutely not. The input should have been faster, more urgent and more decisive. It’s too late to discuss the delays now. It is remarkable, though, how much financial restrictions can do. Cutting off the finances will have an impact, also inside Russia.

Prayers are great, but you beat power with more power since they don’t understand other language. Let’s see how the talks between Russia and Ukraine end and what happens in the next days. I’ve been thinking how 10 bucks helps a lot more than simply wishing somebody well.

My blog is not about politics. It has never been. I became abhorred to politics during more than half of century while Latvia was occupied by Russia and within the Soviet Union. We hoped the freedom will be never again threatened by superpowers.

Back to Ontario, Canada. If you read my art blog, you know that I am packing and preparing to move my art studio and house again. That’s what happens in a greed-driven economy. Huge number of houses will be for sale this spring. Statistics show that housing prices have gone up 10 times between 1996 and now. The houses themselves are not any better, at least in this particular, previously very industrial area: bad drywall design with small windows, low ceiling and tiny rooms which honestly should be just one decent size room. We are moving to an older building which lacks some conveniences, but has character and huge backyard. It is also a commercially zoned property.

*The most recent painting, and most supplies are in boxes now*

It will be very problematic to find a place for everything. The biggest room goes to the art studio, and there’s hardly anything left for all other necessities. We might be suffering during the hot and humid summer days and we might feel restricted because of extremely tight space, but for now, this is the best solution in a bad situation. It takes me about 1 month to sort through and pack everything and about as long to re-arrange and unpack everything. We intend to be in the new place by mid-March, and I should be ready to start art classes in the first weeks of April.

I don’t have much time for social media or advertising, straight the opposite, in fact, but it would have been great to sell a few paintings. As you know, any moving comes with big expenses. It’s been 3 years without much interaction in the art studio. Who can see my art online? Very limited number of people. Among them, almost everybody paints and sells art. Do the math.

*I live for the spring, for the moment when nature wakes up*

The globe is divided. Stay on the right side! I wish for a clear spring sky over any place, any country. Will that come true? Time will show. For now, we are all in this: supporting the honest fight, supporting the freedom and future from bad intentions and actions. History has shown that the good guys frequently win at the end. The price they have to pay for that is another matter. It’s not enough to hope and pray now. This situation requires active involvement. Far as you may be, nowadays weapons and cyberattacks have immense reach. Most of us, will get through this unscathed. Ukraine is a different story, and we will stay on their side as much as possible. Great to see the support, donations, all kinds of aid.

Meanwhile, I’m going through my personal issues. Winter always makes me sick, quite literally. Therefore, I’m trying to make use of any day which allows staying pain-free or almost pain-free. It would be strange to hope that pain goes away completely after breaking and crashing practically all major bones which are in the body. I do celebrate my second birth around this time because it was quite a miracle to survive the injuries, although it’s already 30 years since that happened. I do remember mom as it’s been 3 years since her passing. Last day of February: I’m happy it’s over. I never liked winter and always lived for the wakeup in March and April.

*Never without flowers, they inspire the best in us*

Be well wherever you are! Thanks for reading if you did!

Dimensions of time

On November 25, 2020May 12, 2021 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn happiness, hope, life, writing74 Comments

Regardless of how fast and efficient we are, we cannot outrun time.

We learned at school how time is a measuring unit and were told later that time has more dimensions than just one and it can be bent just as any other dimension. All of us use time as a reference point. How would we be able otherwise to make an appointment or celebrate a birthday? Time is a deadline and time is freedom for some, and time is the reason we struggle so much fighting its impact.

Psychologically, time is a very complex phenomenon. Some people feel young at old age and some are born to never be young. Time becomes very relative with every single moment of our life. Waiting for something makes time go by extremely slowly and, especially, for young people, waiting lasts much longer than for the older ones. Happy moments make time sweep past so swiftly that the event might later appear as a dream. Sadness and fear slow the particular moment down. Desperately waiting for help in critical situations lasts forever.

Whether enjoyable or not, time cannot be stopped, avoided or disregarded. Certainly, everything still happens whether we know about that or not and whether we want that or not. Lack of knowledge doesn’t mean we can prevent something from taking place. There is also vice versa: we can change the flow of time and bend it in a favorable outcome for us or somebody else. Although, we are all subjected to impact and effects of time, we can still make it work for us and do us a favor.

To measure time, we do not always need days, months or years. Achievements and losses are excellent measuring units and reveal to much larger extent what and who we are and where we are going if anywhere. Zero movement in universe and nature equals regression that leads to the end of existence. Once the cells stop dividing and growing and we stop moving forward, we become captives of time and that’s the start of decline of any function. We as humans experience all dimensions of time simultaneously and in a never-ending manner.

We stick to general histories, but, in fact, the history has as many versions as is the number of people who interpret them. We carry around our stamp of time and we see the world in our unique way. So, how do we work towards a better outcome? How to make time not dash by, but stay with us in a meaningful, productive way?

Idleness doesn’t make any use of time. Meaningful activity makes it much more worthwhile. Meaningful activity is something different for everybody. Some will say that reading for pleasure is a waste of time and some will find it the best way of living. Entertainment is usually what we have made to believe we require, but it’s important what type of entertainment we are engaging in. Exercising can be useless time or the greatest achievement for somebody else. Relativity of time dimensions makes it flexible for us: bend it any way you can, just don’t throw it away.

The current time is a lesson in decision-making and responsible attitude. Blaming doesn’t help anybody. After all, it’s us personally dealing with the sequences. Being young means one can make many mistakes since they have more time to correct them. Being old comes with getting wiser: we have realized we don’t need everything we want and we are stricter with our choices. When time starts to run out, it does it very swiftly. This time is just as any other time period: while it feels people suffer for nothing, it’s never so. Until we haven’t learnt the lesson, we probably won’t be set free from bad experiences. Every single person makes difference today and now. I wish we went only for smart choices whenever possible.

Fall flew by swiftly and became a memory

This was the snowy look we got 2 days ago

I hope you’re cautious and staying safe during this final stretch before the improvement sets in!

Patch up life, live nice during pandemic

Patched up with hope: life during pandemic

On May 22, 2020May 22, 2020 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn confidence, depression, gratitude, happiness, hope, life25 Comments

If we are lucky enough to live in some country like Canada where we have social security, fairly affordable health care and chances to get a job, some job, not always what we wish for, we stop believing in our own mortality. We know we cannot avoid passing away and it will happen sometimes, but that is a far-away event. We first enjoy, savor and are happy. After some very long time or possibly eternity, that might happen. That might happen after a great life which we have filled up with all kinds of achievements. We have fulfilled our dreams and everything is sunny in our peaceful valley of joy and pleasure-rich entertaining space. Slightly utopic, but internet says we all can do that. This doesn’t apply to time of COVID-19 pandemic, unfortunately, with everything being turned upside down and inside out.

The generations before cancer treatments, diabetes cures, artificial joints, artery stenting and transplanted organs, as well as efficient antibiotics, chemotherapy, fast and slow acting insulin, NSAIDs and steroids, blood pressure and cholesterol adjusting medications and antidepressants had to be more down to the Earth. Any health issue could have resulted in bad sequences and premature passing away. Therefore, people relied more on afterlife. If we didn’t have enough time to enjoy this life, we were quite sure that the best possible life awaits in a space which we had been told about depending on religion and personal belief. The shift nowadays is that we all want to experience the best possible life right now and here. We are not going to put up with anything less than paradise. This isn’t possible during the COVID-19 pandemic.

The COVID-19 pandemic has put extra pressure on most people. We hear often they cannot afford to wait; they cannot afford to buy one essential thing or another, they definitely cannot live as they used to. We also find out that virus has destroyed many lives, caused family conflicts, domestic violence and many people have succumbed to it. This might be the first time for somebody to realize that they are not bulletproof, I mean, that they, too, can become infected and have to undergo harsh treatment or even worse. The reality which threatens practically everybody, who slightly slips and stops observing the strict protocols of hygiene and physical distancing, has caused a gigantic wave of mental disorders.

While TV, social media and numerous internet sites remind us that we are not alone, that help is within easy reach, it can quite frequently remain only nice and cheering call without any follow-up action. We have to take into account that person, who is completely depressed (I am talking about clinically severe depression episode, not upset mood for a few days in a row), will take no steps to improve their condition. That is the nature of this condition: a complete ignorance of oneself, surroundings, situation and advice. They cannot do anything because they are unable to and they need some major break to become alive again.

The worst thing in pre-depressive state is analyzing everything: every word one hears, every glance, every message, every move and every reaction to what somebody else does or says. This leads to overwhelmingly negative self-assessment. The second worse thing is scrolling through social media and seeing how well everybody else is which leads to comparing one’s condition, situation and overall wellbeing to somebody else. If you do this for half a day or even longer, it is going to cause some reaction. There are usually only two types of social media messages which rise to the top: extremely attractive, extremely inspiring, extremely positive or plain bad and tragic. People will always look at a disastrous outcome. By numbers of statistics, that will be even more often than at something great and good. Have you seen how all traffic stops when there is a car accident on the road side? That’s exactly the same reason: it’s good to know that’s not our car and not us in it.

The best thing to do in a pre-depressive state is make oneself tired with physical work. Physical work with readily visible results beats physical exercise. Physical work which shows that we have achieved something immediately brings pleasant tiredness. We can look at spotless floor, bright and fresh laundry, planted flower bed, weeded garden, organized and clean room or house, sparklingly shiny windows. It’s good to split wood, dig soil and submerge hands in it. The only problem is to make that happen and start doing, overcome resistance and sometimes simple laziness.

Living in never-ending rush people forget about the energy which everything has, gives or takes. Let’s look at TV, computer, laptop or similar devices. While we believe we have got good energy watching something inspiring, uplifting and calling to activity, the radiation and energetic waves of devices actually deplete energy. The contemporary English version of ancient religious text says: “We are made from earth, and we return to earth.” I do interpret it so that also during our presence on the Earth we can draw all energy we need from the Earth. That is literary making our hands dirty with soil, walking barefoot on the grass and along the garden path, hugging tree which speaks to us and planting seeds in order to enjoy the harvest.

Hug a tree, kiss a flower

The tiredness which comes from working at computer is completely different from tiredness which originates in working outdoors or indoors. More than ever, we need to clean our mind, decrease pollution in our head and let our brain enjoy fresh air. That decreases chance of shifting from upset mood days into severe and clinically treatable depression. Acting on it early, might help a lot, tremendously, in fact. Instead of scrolling through daily data and death reports, instead of spending hours reviewing progress of medical treatments and vaccines (it is a slow process anyway), one has to turn their mind to completely unrelated things.

While we might not be living the best life, we deserve, we cannot start feeling like a victim of circumstances, global or local events, pandemic and virus. Victim’s mind uses destructive energy and suffering since they believe it is inevitable and unavoidable. The reverse chain sets in, and we literally start causing what we would prefer to never happen to us. Whatever path we apply to our current situation, it will help, although, not permanently. That is fine, too.

We do have a choice: to work or refuse to work with all sequences that this decision causes, stay alone or go out, use caution or show off how brave we are, take unnecessary risks or avoid being childish. It is good to be recognized as a hero, and some people will embrace it. Most of us for different reasons will not because we are not willing to pay the price. One choice is not worse than the other. The outcome is different, and we might or might not like it. Choice always stays with us. We can call it whatever we want but it’s in our hands to manage our only life.

This is a path which takes to better times

Stay well, be firm in your decisions and do not follow any doubtful trends which threaten your safety or safety of people around you!

Time to shine, time to reflect, time to be better you

On December 26, 2019 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn Christmas, green living, happiness, hope, lifestyle18 Comments

Delightful and healing experience

I hope you are also enjoying the peaceful, relaxing and uplifting holiday time. If you are keeping things simple around Christmas as I am, you might also find this time very healing and very delightful. Keep it that way! I think it is damaging to get all stressed out about gifts and food because this time is about having a new outlook on life, new hope and belief. The focus should be on the tree and its symbolism, not on what we eat, what we wear and what gifts we receive. The most important gift was there for everybody, and being obsessed with buying more and more “stuff”, it is possible to miss the true meaning of this time.

Over-consumption and consumerism

Consumerism is not only a bad approach to living life, but also the main cause of overproduction and over-consumption of pointless and useless things. This causes in turn huge pollution of water, soil and air; we call it also climate change. When people say they are buying a plastic tree to save the real tree, they are not actually saving anything. The natural tree is biodegradable and does not cause toxic leftovers while plastic garbage is probably one of the most serious side effects of over-consumption.

Plastic waste

Scientists are actively testing ways of up-cycling plastic and turning it into fuel and similar things; certain types of plastic degrade under sunlight. There have been even discovered microorganisms which can degrade plastic. The problem is, however, that most of plastic waste is hidden in landfills where it might never biodegrade. Big part of plastic waste floats in oceans and other waters and degrades to extent: big plastic objects break down into tiny plastic waste and it is destroying life in water. Some particles are described as very toxic to humans and animals.

Biggest pollutants

Fast fashion and accessories are also among huge pollutants. The same goes about plastic toys. If synthetic materials were degrading at a fast pace, there would be no need to burn them. There are so many once or hardly used items, that nobody can ever recycle, down- or upcycle all of them. Burning these materials causes very toxic smoke and causes harm to everything, including huge damage to soil, air and waterways. That is not to mention all efforts which take manufacturing and transporting such non-essential items. These processes cause more pollution and damage to climate.

Food waste

People, who do not cook from scratch and have no experience in re-using leftover food after parties and festive meals, throw out millions of tonnes of food leftovers. That is a waste which is not even fed to animals or used as a fertilizer for soil. Just imagine the amount of resources which were used to grow, harvest, process, pack and transport this food.

“Stuff”

It is amazing how many useless things we buy, and especially for Christmas and New Year. Could we limit the number of gifts? We sure could. Could we rather turn this holiday time into a time of great experience? We sure could. How about shining with one’s talents at parties?

Gift cannot buy love or respect. We can certainly please somebody, but material things are just material things. We cannot live without them, but we shouldn’t make the gift shopping and gift giving the most important experience of Christmas, because it is not and it never was.

Celebrate in style

We definitely want festive settings, great mood and delicious meals during holidays. It doesn’t take much. However, it could take work, efforts, a lot of imagination and many ideas.

Be gentle to yourself! Be aware that you can wear only one outfit at a time and the amount of food one person can consume is also limited. Not going overboard decreases stresses, and your bank account will love it, too. You don’t have to be the grandmother, who bought 240 gifts for her grandchildren. If they love you, they will love you regardless of number of gifts, and if they don’t, splurging on gifts is not going to help either.

Resist pressure

Social media really facilitate the need to grab, rush, fight and bargain. Every single place wants you to buy something and internet ads create feeling that you are already late, missed the best deals and will never find the hottest items again. Influencers, who are paid for endorsing or advertising one or another item or brand, play big part in over-consumption, especially among younger people. That is such an important aspect of belonging, or rather we have convinced ourselves that we need some particular item because “everybody has it”!

My favorite Christmas things

I hope you are not everybody, but unique you with your unique style and taste which are not affected by the massive pressure of consumer society.

My favorite thing is my tree decorating process. I have always a real tree or at least a real branch of real tree. I do decorating for approximately 3 days, slowly, thoughtfully, listening to sings, watching movies and so on. It is a process. The other thing is getting in touch and connecting with people, who I love.

Be happy and yourself

I wish you to find yourself in rewarding experiences and pleasurable pastimes! That relaxes, makes fears and anxiety go away and you never feel alone. Such creative experience is a treasure, a true treasure.

Merry Christmas! Happy holiday season and all the best with any other celebration!

Bad news is always unexpected

On February 10, 2019March 5, 2019 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn faith, family, health, hope, life30 Comments

It is more so because nobody wants to get bad news. Ever.

We are never prepared for it.

The day when we are hit hard comes suddenly. It is always at the wrong time.

That is the lightning from a clear sky moment.

Storm, earthquake and flood together.

As I wrote in my articles some time before, it is hard to recognize signs we are given. I missed the gut feeling and signs 100% this time. I believed that every single thing was going so well, I was absolutely calm and peaceful and satisfied with the way our life was at the moment. I sort of disregarded the nagging feeling that something was not right with my mom. I thought we would be talking on Friday night anyway.

Well, we didn’t.

I had to face bad news which was so overwhelming at first that I felt absolutely lost. It did not help being so far away and left in darkness either because the emergency department at P. Stradins Clinical University Hospital in Latvia literally lied to me and told that everything was under control when it absolutely wasn’t. They had not initiated the emergency treatment for more than 24 hours. They totally disregarded anything we told about mom’s medical history. The attending physician made an absolutely wrong clinical decision which was corrected only when at least 30 hours since event had passed.

In such cases, treatment initiation urgency means success. Any delays mean irreversible changes and losses of the brain cells. Being so far away and on the other side of the globe, I was left with the only option: to pray and hope.

I made quite a few calls to Cardiology Centre at P. Stradins Clinical University Hospital. I was trying to find out why my mom was placed in a general cardiology department instead of neurology department. She had clear and unmistakable stroke symptoms. The attending physician who was in charge on Saturday, February 9, was rather rude and did not want to either listen to me or to give me any smallest information. Quite honestly, I took a deep breath after she rudely disconnected the phone and I felt like some wave of dark water was rolling over me. The feeling of hopelessness was so deep that I had to clench my teeth in order not to scream.

I suppose some people really forget that if we are lucky enough, we all get old and age. I was told it was the case quite frequently at Latvian hospitals that old age people had way fewer chances to survive than the younger ones because they were simply neglected. I could see it so clearly now.

Our prayers were actually responded to. Very luckily for us and my mom, the doctor in charge on Sunday morning was a very skillful one. I do not know his name, however. He immediately initiated blood thinning treatment to dissolve the blood clots which had blocked the blood supply to mom’s brain.

It is hard to say how much success the so much delayed treatment will have. She was left also for almost 28 hours with no water, I mean, she was heavily dehydrated and that means less success in such cases. In fact, it is proven that 42% of patients who had stroke, caused by blood clot, suffered worse and harder to treat conditions than the well-hydrated ones. Water saturation in the blood matters a lot because it is an extra blood thinning factor.

How do I get over the most shattering and shocking experiences, bad news and sleepless nights?

I read a lot of books, non-stop all night.

I paint if I can during the day.

I do hard physical work whenever my health allows for that.

I still believe that universe and God want to treat us well. That is why we can have hope and rely that help will be available.

Mom recognized me when I was talking a small bit today using Facebook Messenger. I know we are not completely out of the woods yet, but it is still so much better than the two previous nights.

I had a surgery at the end of January, and I am ok. It will take some time to get over all this and to heal and to recover, but it will be fine at the end.

I cannot reply to all comments and I cannot return all likes because it simply is a difficult time for me. I will do whatever I can and deal with everything else afterwards.

There is no good way to move easy, and bye-bye Whitby!

On July 31, 2018July 31, 2018 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn challenge, happiness, hope, life18 Comments

The only good way is if you have enough courage, money and opportunity to trust the packing and moving somebody else. I am such a person who cannot trust sorting out my art and belongings to another somebody and especially to pack it.

We did that before: only one time the moving was acceptable, but all other times it was a disaster. I could find nothing for many months; the packing was done without any common sense and logical approach. It was simply bad, and it cost a lot.

I decided to pack everything mostly by myself, and so I did. It took me 3 weeks so far, and, unfortunately I am not completely done.

The limiting issue is pain, and when it gets too bad, I have to stop. I have to also stop every time when blood glucose gets low, and it takes a while to be back on track again.

I have been doing this quite slowly and meticulously, however, when I pack things, there is absolutely no problem finding and locating anything.

Well, the move is tomorrow, I am really tired of seeing boxes all over, as well as mess. That is mentally painful!

I will be very much relieved once we are finally out of here. We will have helpers tomorrow, and I am a bit worried about the weather, but it is what it is.

I have not disappeared from WordPress, I was just totally tied up with packing endless things, paintings are close 1500, all prepared canvasses, papers, drawings, sketches, templates and so on make another pile, not to mention all paints, extremely many brushes, pencils and pastels. I have abnormal amounts of clothes because I am also a fashion designer and I have been sewing since age of 12. Therefore, I have lots of fabrics, lots of books, lots of shoes, many purses, lots of smaller things and my husband has music room with numerous speakers, instruments and other musical and recording stuff.

It could not be easy, and it is not.

I was not happy in Whitby, Ontario. I arrived with huge hopes and great expectations, and nothing came true. It is a snobbish and ignorant place. Most people who walk or drive by every single day have never been here, not even once within 8 years. They most likely though what possibly could such a gallery offer? I had so many free events, but not much interest from the local community. Well, my immobility might be to blame, too, but that does not justify the cold and ignorance. I don’t really care now; I know that I will be better off in some more human and more engaging neighbourhood. I believe South Ajax will be fine. It is a great location, and I will have a garden.

I am taking off to Latvia next week, so, I most likely won’t be blogging much until I am back in Canada, in the middle of September.

However, in the light of so much stress and work still ahead, I would love to wish everybody good time until the fall sets in and drop me a line!

Think pink: how to return to life after a long treatment

On July 12, 2017July 10, 2022 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn gratitude, happiness, health, hope, life, lifestyle, nature photography22 Comments

A few suggestions which work for me

If you just took the last pill, are still struggling with the treatment medications, are just getting in or out of a long treatment, I know where you are coming from.

The treatment of my current health issues lasted for 1349 days so far. It hasn’t ended yet, but I am getting back to life and back to normal everything. 1349 is just a number. It is just a number that has resulted from many months, weeks, days, hours and minutes spent trying to feel better. Did you know that every minute in pain lasts longer than an hour doing pleasant things?

I have tried everything. I am not saying that my personal experience is going to work for everybody, but some parts might.

The inevitable side effects

Many people go through very long treatments and use medications that also destroy them along with a cure. Side effects manifest on our body and on our mind in many very different ways. The cure of bad issues and severe conditions always comes with undesirable effects. Always, that is the nature of chemicals which can be extremely harsh at times.

I just downloaded some beautiful pictures of flowers and could not resist sharing them. I attached them below text.

Looking at, thinking of and seeing beauty in nature helps me relax and makes me forget pain and bad feelings. Does the beauty have the same effect on you?

If it does, you should put yourself together as much as you can and get out there and look at flowers, trees, listen to bird songs and watch wild animals like squirrels or rabbits, chipmunks or similar creatures. Watching undisturbed flow of a very simple life supports the weak, recovering body and certainly gives more strength.

The first suggestion is: do not put pressure on yourself. Just don’t do that. Treatments are always accompanied by strict schedules, doctor’s appointments, nurse visits, meal times and sleep hours. Everything is scheduled. When we start feeling better and when it seems we are strong enough to do absolutely anything and embrace the globe, we should take things easy. Especially at this moment. We should move step by step, not rushing, not exhausting ourselves even more.

With recovery and as the undesirable effects wear off, we are experiencing unusual additional energy. Small bit of willingness to open our eyes. A desire to breathe very deeply. An intention to walk without concerns about getting dizzy and shaky. Wow! That is success!

That is the hugest success we can only imagine. We never think it is such a pleasure to simply walk without pain. Well, it is. I know how it feels to suddenly wake up after long months of being in a subdued mood, blundering around half-asleep, having no willpower to even want something. Recovery after a long treatment is similar to being reborn.

Colors regain brightness. Sounds become clear. Light is blinding. Sun is so intense. Yes, we probably have to wear sunglasses.

The other suggestion is as follows. Many medications require specific approach: staying out of sunlight, not consuming some particular foods or drinks and so on. We cannot forget about these warnings after the last dose of medication because its activity may continue way beyond this point. Being cautious is a good habit when starting or discontinuing medications. Alcohol does not work with any medication: it either inhibits the positive side or enhances it. I believe staying away from alcoholic drinks is a basic when recovering or while using meds.

The most often observed side effect must be nausea and feeling sick. It is unfortunately that our body wants to alert us, and we know we are wrong and the body is right, but we have to continue with meds. I had extreme episodes of nausea. To the point when I could not even think clearly. Nausea did not allow sleeping or resting either. I somehow found aloe vera juice. The stuff that worked for me was with pomegranate flavour. I am extremely sensitive to any substance, and regular anti-nausea pills never did what they were expected to, but with aloe vera juice I achieved a state when I was feeling practically normal. I took it after quite a lot of water on empty stomach and then as prescribed: 4 full large spoons.

The third suggestion is moderation. Moderation in everything. No extreme foods or entertainments, no extreme physical loads or exercises. Living around the neutral zero isn’t that bad at all. Overdoing with physical exercises can through you back, so can eating out too much or having too many drinks.

It’s a heavy work for the body to return to normal daily routine without strong pills, injections, i/v pumps or i/v lines. While it is such a relief to get off meds, there is an in-between period. It is better to get back to life slowly than destroy everything that was achieved through so much suffering.

Meanwhile, the last suggestion is think pink! Soft and dreamy colors in the environment work their magic. Pictures drawings and paintings of beautiful things in calm colors do the same: relax the tension, make our mind happy and that’s when we are really back on track.

Think pink: create happiness

Think pink: troubles go away

Think pink: send and receive love

Think pink: beauty has so many faces

Think pink: no other color speaks so loudly about feeling good

Think pink: it is a good color to make face and soul look fresh

Warm spring greetings to my blog friends

On April 24, 2017September 21, 2017 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn blogging, challenge, hope, lifestyle, nature28 Comments

I am completely in migrating my art blog inesepogagallery.com to a WordPress website. It hasn’t been a smooth ride so far. I am still waiting for quite a few responses from support team, but I have lost all followers (almost 2000) because of this move and there obviously no likes under my imported posts yet. The most terrible part is that I do not have even the simple one-click “Follow” button which appears to be a nightmare to generate. I haven’t gotten that done yet. The site is being added features and lost parts every day, but still, it takes a lot of time.

I would greatly appreciate the former followers stayed in touch by either following this blog or by renewing subscription to the newly created website.

All tutorials and instructions describe such a move as an easy breeze, but it was nothing like that. It seems one also needs quite a lot of money for such a move (which I wasn’t prepared for).

Well, my head is spinning already, and I haven’t even made up a normal menu yet, just trying to republish the lost posts.

Meanwhile, the weather is getting better and the planting season is approaching fast.

Therefore, my blog migration feels at a wrong time, but since it’s done, I will have to just move forward and hope for the best.

Happiness is moody: life lessons

On January 1, 2017March 27, 2019 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn dreams, happiness, hope, lifestyle, writing15 Comments

The New Year has walked across the globe by now. Although, it is just a date, a reference mark along the way, we meet the January 1^st as if it is a new beginning, a new way of life, a new hope and a new happiness which awaits just behind the next bend. Or does it?

I look around, and I am surprised how I have gotten done so many things. I cannot sometimes believe I did that because there were so many days in the last year I was not that productive. I certainly hope the New Year comes with soothing feelings of calm and adds some pleasure onto the daily menu.

Many years ago, a Latvian poet wrote some sad lines: “When the pain will stop, when it will end completely, everything else will end, as well.” Pain is a sign that we are alive. It is a signal to pay attention.

I’m not talking about physical pain only which can be so strong that nothing more exists, I’m talking about life that runs away like sand in an hourglass. Lost time, lost opportunities and lost days. So many. I will have to change that and turn every single day into enjoyable one.

Well, I am hopeful because the hope is always there: the next day will be much better, the next month will be much easier, the next year will be much nicer to me. It should be. It better be. Or otherwise what? Nothing. It’s about time I return to things that make me happy.

As a young kid I had to walk to school for quite a distance every morning. I hated mornings because I was usually reading all night, and it was extremely difficult to get up. We used to live on a high hill. As I walked, and sometimes the weather was just really nasty, I could see another hill, far away. That hill always seemed to be sunny when it was windy, cold and rainy or snowy where I was. I have no explanation for that, but the sun just loved the distant hill. I often thought: I’m going to get to this other hill. I’m going to live my life on that sunny hill. Years passed by, but the other hill remained in quite a distance. I moved to a place from another side of planet across the ocean. I left that hill there, in Latvia. I don’t even know if it is visible anymore because any landscape changes a lot over 50 years. I am still on the way to that hill. Am I any closer? Maybe. I just know I’m not on it, I haven’t reached the point where I want to be, to live, to stand, to exist yet. Will I ever? Does anybody ever have it all? The truth is: we get something and we pay a lot for it. We sometimes pay more than we ever imagined was possible.

The truth about anything that doesn’t kill us and makes us stronger is only in that regard that we know we are not giving up that easily now. Is it necessary to become stronger this way? Not at all. So much energy goes to waste which could be used for way more rewarding things, things that actually make one’s life relevant and significant.

It was sunny during the day. That might be a good sign. A sunny year? How wonderful that would be!