Skip to content

Flow of time: where does it take us?

I arrived to Canada in 2004. I did not know what to expect, but I was very impressed by greatness of many things, and everything felt to me huge. I mean everything. Latvia where I came from is a small country, and, therefore, the endless wide roads, the high-rise buildings, the downtown Toronto with its busy streets and, especially, the size of any province was so different from what I was used to.

Well, time flew absurdly fast then, and I got married in October 30th of the same year. It’s very amazing that it is my daughter’s birthday on this day, too, which I hadn’t even realized when we made all arrangements. We stayed in Niagara Falls in a newlywed suite which had number 3010 on the door. Something else, or what?

Well, we got married in The Small Wedding Chapel in Niagara Falls. My family was in Latvia, so, my fiancé decided not to invite his family also, just to be fair to each other. Very tactful, I’d say. Therefore we headed out to Niagara Falls the day before wedding. The weather was mild and sunny during the day, although, it was the end of October. These pictures were taken by the numerous by-passers who all kept congratulating us, so, it felt wonderful actually.

I cannot believe it’s been 13 years. The flow of time is very different from what it was back then. The best part is that my daughter is 38 today and we celebrate the 13th wedding anniversary. So much fun together (over the internet because she is in Latvia).

Everything worked out quite well. My husband has proved himself to be the best, most loving and most honest person ever and he is still the same excellent man who I met back then. He has had a lot of patience and understanding in the situations when my health really gave up. When we are saying “…in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part” at the wedding, we rarely can be aware of what is ahead in reality. It has not been all that smooth, but, thankfully, we are managing everything.

We got married in Niagara Falls

Signing …

Happy me, well, we tried to take each others pictures first, and then the by-passers helped

This is us 13 years ago

While we are still very young we believe that nothing really changes as we get older, except it is a larger number. We assume we will have the same ideas and the same attitude, and the same capability when executing different things. That is so wrong! I just now have started to understand how my parents felt at older age, and I am very lucky to have my daughter as my best friend because my top energy levels matched time of her being young and very energetic and passionate.

We are a lot smarter. Life teaches us if we are willing to pay attention and to learn the lesson. We find out that some ideas were simply silly and that the world isn’t there to please us and make miraculously our wishes come true without any effort. We have learnt that lots of things require fighting for them and that path can take a lot of turns, too. It’s never as if going from point A to point B. There are always obstacles and problems, and all kinds of disturbances.

The most important things for a family are love, trust and respect. Without any of this missing, marriage is going to have cracks. The most important thing for an individual is the mental and physical health. While I have a lot of brain power, excellent memory and very strong willpower, the physical side is somewhat suffering. Well, I hope the future is friendly and has some better things for me and us.

Being an older white, legal immigrant in Canada is not quite the same as being a refugee. Refugees are treated very well here and receive extreme support. I haven’t received ever any smallest or tiniest support whatsoever. My only support has come from my husband so far, and I am happy and grateful for that. Other than that, my expectations did not come true: I wasn’t met too friendly wherever I turned to in Canada, and I haven’t made too many friends locally, as well. Realistically, I was already 46 when I relocated to Canada; so, it’s not the same as when one is 16 or even 26. I have turned from a very social person (I worked at high schools and colleges in Latvia, it was work with and among people) to a very isolated person. My lack of health has contributed to that also, a lot actually, but still, I did not expect such ignorance from the local community and people. It has been as if approaching some unbreakable brick wall: there is very little interest about what I do and offer. I suppose one has way better chances if they have classmates, schoolmates, University time friends, childhood friends and obviously relatives in the country they work and live.

Well, I have only my husband.

Here it goes: to our 13 wonderful years together! I want to thank my husband and God for this great time and I certainly believe that the best times are still ahead of us.

P. S. I have to apologize to fellow bloggers for their kind and numerous comments and likes to previous posts, as well, as thank you to all who keep following my art site https://inesepogagallery.com/ I will approve everything and I will return all likes as soon as get a bit better and all my stuff is sorted out. That won’t be today because it is our wedding anniversary. Thanks to everybody!

Advertisements
27 Comments Post a comment
  1. Beautiful!

    Like

    October 30, 2017
  2. Congratulations to both of you, Inese 😀
    It is not easy to relocate to another country, I will agree so much with you. In the first years here in Spain, I moved several times by different reasons, but necessary moves and to different areas. This is not the way to find friends either. Now I have been in this area for 3 years in 3 different houses, but in same area. Now people greet, when we meet but not much more. Few wish to talk a little, which for me was difficult until short time ago, because of my poor Spanish. Not many here do speak anything else than Spanish and their local dialect. I don’t work either, so I don’t meet new people this way. Tried one school, but with little success. So I’m also out for ideas, how to find more local friends.
    Wish you a beautiful day.

    Liked by 1 person

    October 30, 2017
    • Thank you, Irene!
      No, it isn’t easy at all. I mean, I arrived with just one suitcase and that was easy because I didn’t even think I’d stay.
      Well, I have moved around here, too, 6 times to be exact. I have been in the current location for 7 years which is the longest time. Very few people know me here, like really few, and also nevertheless, the open sign is on and so on, extremely rarely somebody would walk in. It is very different from Europe, I find there was much more interest in anything artistic and also crafting and that type of things.
      I know, you start to feel somehow strange because we have become strangers in our native place, but we are also strangers in the place where we emigrated to.
      I never thought about that before making the move since the relocation happened really fast.
      It’s not that I regret anything, but I wish the attitude towards somebody was somewhat more welcoming or warmer.
      I’d need a lot of money to get my academic degrees recognized and applicable so that I could teach at some college or University or similar things, so, yes, I feel pretty much out of place and the worst part is getting older rapidly. It seems I was just 45 yesterday and I am almost 60 already.
      I could call this situation anything, but easy.
      The toughest part actually falls on my husband who is the only person making some money.

      Liked by 1 person

      October 30, 2017
      • It sounds like tough to go on there, but you have a good husband, Inese.
        I have thought about joining groups with similar interests, this do often help. For now I will start up with yoga again and I hope to meet new people there too.

        Liked by 1 person

        October 30, 2017
      • While I am saying I do not feel appreciated, I am actually always short of time.
        My injuries wouldn’t allow nothing physical, not even yoga, I can only walk sometimes, but I have to careful not to try running or using joints too much, no sporting or similar activities.
        I have an art place here, it is open all the time, and it’s surprising how few people ever walk in. I mean, I did similar classes in Europe and they were always crowded.
        We have here some groups, too, probably wouldn’t be too difficult to join, but it very often involves food and booze and I don’t want to do either one.
        Yoga will be helpful to you, no doubt.
        I would be actually interested in some king of different relationship, like student-teacher is fine. I just need more students this year, that’s all.
        I love also reading lectures about different subjects, they were always well attended, but I don’t think that will work here at the moment.
        Thanks!

        Liked by 1 person

        October 30, 2017
  3. Congratulation, Inese.
    You spoke for many. I can related to most part. (I need more time to think through what you wrote here. I mean your post makes me think.) I am happy that we have many blogger friends 😉
    Take care. .

    Liked by 1 person

    October 30, 2017
    • Thanks Helen!
      I sometimes also think that blogging is the only way to stay in touch with great people.
      Otherwise, life is so busy for most people, there is no time to stop by and ask whether they are fine or not.
      Somebody once asked me if I’m going to celebrate my birthday. Well, husband congratulates and gives a gift. That’s it. I pretty much go out rarely because of lots of pain and difficult walking. There are rare places where I can get on foot, but other than that: it is just classes and these blogs.
      Thanks again!

      Liked by 1 person

      October 30, 2017
  4. You sound very lonely and I so wish I could help.

    Like

    October 31, 2017
    • Well, lonely is probably not what I was trying to say. Most of work I do requires being alone: medical writing, writing, translations, art: I don’t answer the phone or something when I work and I don’t interrupt myself with going to some meeting. When one starts at older age from scratch again and that happens in a place where everything is quite unfamiliar, it feels like all achievements from the previous part of life are lost. This means losing the feeling of having some importance socially and publicly, and that reflects on financial situation very rapidly, too. Basically, there are thousands of things that local people are aware of from their early childhood, but a newcomer will never even know about; this feels being almost like in an empty space where I collect the tiny useful knowledge crumbs to build up my social confidence again, so on. It is the feeling of not being able to fit in some niche, it is very hard to find usefulness. I cannot help, I am such a person who always needs to work. However, if I work like insane for a decade and this work hasn’t resulted in any appreciation or recognition, or feeling of usefulness, it eventually starts to feel as a personal loss and waste of time. I never thought so, but I miss the academic settings and people in such circles, too. Basically, this relocation required to start on a blank page again, and I’m not that sure whether I was ready to do the same what I was able to do when I was young, in my 20-30s. For me it is extremely important to find echo of my theories and philosophy working. I don’t feel that here. When I am saying I do not have much social engagement and relationships, I do not mean that I have exploited everything. I mean also that I tried and quite frequently I found that that wasn’t suitable for me. I am European, Latvian, and I find it difficult to fit in. The main values are actually not the same. I feel that many things here are actually driven by greed. Idealistic personality like me suffers under the pressure to do anything for money because, well, I cannot perform any of my projects without it. That is a painful dilemma, and I’m not quite done with it.

      Like

      October 31, 2017
  5. Happy Wedding Anniversary, Inese! I can relate to your feelings of isolation due to your health problems as I have been plagued by chronic fatigue since 1993. I cannot socialise as healthy people do, and they don’t have much time for me. Travelling is out of question. I need to lie down during the day. Blogging and Facebook keep me in touch with the world. I suppose one needs to accept reality and make the most of what one is still capable of doing.

    Liked by 1 person

    October 31, 2017
    • Thanks so much, Irina! Yes, there is no doubt that health issues can hold one back a lot. You just actually reminded me that maybe my problem is in the fact that I am trying to do everything as I used to when I was not having this abnormal fatigue mostly caused by medications. Realistically, yes, I cannot accept the fact that I am able to do less than I used. I go every year to see my mom in Latvia, but, as you are saying, traveling itself isn’t easy: my medications take so much space that I sometimes have hardly any space for something else. I am also on a very strict meal and rest schedule. That is true. It takes time and exhausts. Well, I am a fighter. I always have been. I just posted yesterday a comment to somebody’s blog that talks about diseases and illnesses: I do not want to write about that and I actually do not want to be concerned with that also. I am trying not to allow anything as illness to determine me. Life is short, and there are plenty of other things to do.
      I am happy I have found you on Facebook, and there are quite a lot of other fellow bloggers and Facebook friends. Well, if somebody believes that they will be exactly the same at age 60 as they were at 20, they are heavily mistaken. It’s not only health or issues, it’s the experience and knowledge one has gained over years. So, this experience does not allow wasting time. Therefore, I am getting back to painting, hence, that definitely makes me happy.

      Liked by 1 person

      October 31, 2017
      • You’re right, Inese, no more wasting time, that’s my motto too, and that is why I do not write any posts about my chronic fatigue, I just want to forget it. It’s wonderful that you can travel to Latvia every year to see your mother, even if it’s not an easy trip for you. My parents joined my family in Sydney, so that was a great blessing. They looked after my children when I went to work, and I looked after them in their old age. My fatigue is more in the brain than in the body. I suffered a few burnouts for various reasons and became super sensitive to noise, smell and even red colour! I’m much better now than when I couldn’t get out of the house and couldn’t read more than a paragraph. But even today I must be careful to not overdo it. And I run far away from perfumed people! When my brain gets tired, I need to lie down instantly. It takes me ten to twenty minutes to recover. It happened to me twice in the street, luckily there was soft grass along the sidewalk, and my husband was with me. Needless to mention that I’ve seen many doctors and a psychologist, and each of them offered what they knew. I was getting better, but there was still that constant fog in the brain until a new doctor suggested I try a gluten-free diet, which I did according to his instructions and within a week my head was clear, all the fog gone! That was in 2007. I was born again, resumed driving (I didn’t drive for 6 years), and in 2011 joined Facebook and soon after WordPress. So here I am connecting with the world without the hassle of travelling with suitcases, meeting interesting people like yourself. I enjoy your posts and looking at your artwork. I do wish you all the best, Inese. Cheers 😊 Irina

        Liked by 1 person

        November 6, 2017
      • Thanks, Irina, for your very interesting comment.
        We are all so different. Thankfully, my brain works exclusively well, and I am very aware that is due to drawing, art and the fact that I have to learn every single day because some medical works take weeks or months with typing some 20 pages a day at times. That means absurd amount of research. I can compare the data and I can certainly say that we could get everybody to draw and paint to keep the brain very fit. I mean with that not copying photos and striving for the result, but involving every sense like in life drawing or sketching from reality regardless of how good or not good the result is.
        I can relate to sensitivity, too, I stopped using oil paints because they were causing major issues, including physical.
        We are all very different: you had fatigue which was caused by some brain chemical interactions, my fatigue is due to medications which I have to take for almost 4 years now. It is and was a very bad treatment.
        Working as a medical writer for more than 35 years and having written so many instructions for doctors and operators of medical devices I can definitely advise some doctors. I do feel I am very good with diagnosing things. That comes from understanding how the body and each cell within it works. I am paying the most attention to how our brain works, and I would definitely perform and carry out a clinical trial on how daily drawing will keep the brain going and even return it it to a good condition after being damaged assuming I’d have a sponsor to cover facilities, research personnel and documentation specialists. Well, that’s what I cannot have right now, so I am going ahead on my own.
        You have definitely achieved progress. I don’t know whether that is really because of gluten-free food because technically only people with celiac disease or gluten sensitivity would benefit from that. Other people just need to stick to more natural things. I simply mean that gluten-free means more chemicals and losing a lot of natural group B vitamins. Artificial vitamins B have shown in a large clinical trial to cause cancers. Any artificial vitamins will cause problems because their formula isn’t the same what in the real things, therefore, they act differently. That’s just my point. I am avoiding as much as I can (Canada is really bad regarding food) anything chemical. Anything. That means I practically never eat out. That type of thing.
        Ok, nurse is coming, I’have to go.

        Liked by 1 person

        November 6, 2017
      • Hi Inese, Thank you for your very instructive comment. I apologise for my late response, but it all boils down to brain fatigue. I’ve been caught up in writing to get a manuscript ready for publication, my father’s WWI story. The last two nights I had very little sleep with thoughts swirling in my mind. Today I’ve given the manuscript to a friend to read and I feel quite relieved.
        You are obviously very knowledgeable in matters of health and I thank you for sharing your knowledge. The benefits of drawing and painting were made known to me by my art teacher a few years ago. Unfortunately, I have no energy to attend classes, and at home there’s neither time nor place where I could do it. But I keep exercising my brain by learning foreign languages. At one stage, I practised writing with my left hand, which was fun. I go to a fitness class once a week, I think I should do more physical exercise. My diet is healthy, nothing artificial, lots of fruit and vegies, low-fat protein and of course gluten-free, which is easy as I’m not allergic to gluten, only sensitive.
        I do hope your health improves, and that you can one day reduce the medications you’ve been taking for the last for years. It’s a blessing you can continue painting. Best wishes.

        Like

        November 19, 2017
      • That sounds good. Well, you do not need art classes. We can do lots of things on our own. I can see how you are very busy. I regret I never wrote my dad’s stories about post WWII and how he survived Siberia. These were breathtaking stories, and he is gone now, and we were talking so often about writing down his remarkable memories.
        It’s good you are taking care of that. Writing certainly takes a lot of time.
        I am somebody who believes that we need natural fats. I do relate lack of fats in the brain to increase in mental health issues. Our brain needs fat, every single cell also needs carbs, so we cannot exclude any group of products. When I compare how people eat in Canada and how they eat in Latvia and what impact that has on health, I must admit all these products that are either free of something or have added a lot of something only cause trouble because they all destroy the natural metabolism. Artificial proteins, fats, vitamins and minerals do not have the same formula and they do not come in the same combinations as in real things, therefore, they are either absorbed only partially or they do not bind to the body’s substances they are supposed to. There is research about any vitamins and supplements causing reactions in the body, increasing cancer, birth defects and mental problems. I regret that such clinical results are not that much visible and they do not usually get noticed by general population. It is in the manufacturer’s best interest not to make these results very visible, hence, the supplement industry operates on assumptions, but there is no scientific proof for that. However, we have proof how carb-free, then fat-free and artificial food caused epidemic of obesity, cardio-vascular and brain disorders which was accompanied by epidemic in Alzheimer’s. Well, we could say that in countries which widely support replacement of natural substances with artificial ones, humans are participating in a huge experiment which has a very poor outcome so far. There never was and still isn’t any real evidence that taking artificial supplements in form of powders, liquids and pills made somebody healthier in a long term. There is evidence how GMOs cause aggressive behavior and mental break-downs.
        I am glad to see that you are taking good care of yourself, and you are so lucky to have all year fresh vegetables and fruits. That must be fantastic!

        Liked by 1 person

        November 19, 2017
      • Oh, Inese, I’m sorry to hear your father was in Siberia and that you haven’t recorded his stories. You could perhaps write down what you still remember. My father was in Latvia during WWI, serving as a volunteer in the Imperial Russian Army, was awarded 2 medals for bravery for assisting the casualties under fire. As a medical student, he worked for the Red Cross, didn’t carry a rifle.
        I’m trying to take good care of myself. Those GMOs are a real worry.
        Hope you have a good week ahead!

        Like

        November 26, 2017
      • I feel sorry for that, too. I did not live with my parents since I was 17. I went to study to the University early because I made high school very quickly with all excellent grades. I was going home frequently at first, but then I got an apartment in Riga. When I returned to the town where my parents resided, it was briefly before I came to Canada. That left way less time to talk and to write down anything. Dad had his poems from Siberia written in some notebook, I don’t know where it is or what happened to it.
        I also lost all my belongings while moving from Latvia to Canada, so, I have very little from my previous life. A few pictures. The worst is I lost the collection of rare books. I collected books all the time, I started at the first year at University, and there were so many in Latvian, in German and in Russian. We did not have available any books which were of big value in English. I can read even the old German script (alte Deutsche Schrift) and old Latvian script which was somewhat similar to the German one. That all is lost irreversibly.
        So good for you, you have documents and probably pictures and memories written down. It is so valuable to record such memories. I was young when we were talking most, and I didn’t really have such an intention to write dad’s memoirs when I was 16.
        I have quite a lot to do in order to make some gifts happen. I will wait until something is sold and then send something last minute to Latvia. Sending even cards is expensive, fees have increased so much.
        Have a good week, too!

        Liked by 1 person

        November 26, 2017
      • Oh I can’t believe how time flies. I read this a few days ago and I read it again now. It’s really sad you have lost so many of your precious memories. The notebook with your father’s poems might still be found…
        You’re right, when I was 16, I wasn’t interested in my father’s life story, it only happened here in Australia when he was in his eighties that we got him to tell us more about his life, mainly how he lived through the two world wars. Yes, I do have pictures and documents and even friends in the UK and in Australia whose relatives, like my father, were POWs in Germany. One of them recognised her uncle in the photo I posted here, and from her I learned so much more about life in the camp and about my dad because her uncle kept a diary. My dad kept a diary during the Long March to Freedom in the winter of 1945, but I can’t find it anywhere!
        Won’t bore you any more…
        Best wishes!

        Like

        December 5, 2017
      • Thanks, Irina! I didn’t have internet for a while. Construction workers had accidentally cut off cables.
        Well, I don’t think I could find anything what was lost in Latvia because these houses do not even exist any more, not to mention that I have been here in Canada for almost 14 years now. I arrived to Canada with one suitcase. All my paintings, everything else are created here because things what I had up to age 46 are gone, long time ago. I couldn’t go back for about 2 years initially because I had to wait for resident’s status, so during that time my belongings got lost, that was already before 2006. I do have a good memory and I can still remember a few dad’s poems, but he certainly had a lot of notes and poems. My mom has some picture albums, but she also had to move and therefore much of my art and also my writing, published texts, etc., cannot be found. So, I started fresh from zero at age 46.
        It’s not boring. It is very interesting, I definitely wish I had paid more attention to this stuff. You can be very proud you have still valuable photos and documents. There wouldn’t be many who were with dad in Siberia alive. Only one from each 1000 returned home to Latvia. Famine, diseases, hard work, no food, no medications, they were together in camps with criminals, so one had to be strong to survive, physically strong. Dad survived thanks to a Russian family who practically had nothing but always gave him and his friend some potatoes and cabbage, sauerkraut to be more exact. That is why potatoes are my most favorite food. They always were. Dad was a good example of what a potato can do for somebody in harsh conditions. Actually, most Latvians really love potatoes. We do not eat them like in Americas.

        Like

        December 6, 2017
  6. Never too late to leave my best wishes to the beautiful couple.Well,Happy Wedding Anniversary,dear WP friend ~ Hope you live happy together for ever 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    October 31, 2017
  7. Happy anniversary, you two make a beautiful couple.I have never been a social person because I was very shy, but now at the age of 69 I am enjoying being around people and attending more activities.But at the same time, I enjoy being by myself.

    Liked by 1 person

    November 1, 2017
    • Thank you so much! It’s wonderful that you are enjoying company!
      Well, I would love here and there, too. It’s just so that quite frequently I cannot get anywhere and not that many people drop in here.
      I again love saying speeches and talking to crowds and things like that, so I miss that a bit while I am in Canada.

      Like

      November 1, 2017
  8. Victoria Averbukh #

    Congratulations to you and her husband, happy anniversary! And happy birthday to your daughter, too!

    Liked by 1 person

    November 8, 2017
  9. Like

    December 2, 2017

I would love to hear from you

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: