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Posts tagged ‘life lessons’

We start with changing ourselves

We invite people in our life and attract them.

What people we attract, depends on how we are assuming and seeing life and everybody else. There is a positive purpose in any response from the universe. The universe is trying to please us and give us what we are asking for.

We do rarely look for answers within ourselves.

I mentioned in my previous posts that we have lost the ability to see, understand and interpret the warning signs and encouraging signs which our subconscious mind and the universe makes us aware of. We also do not try to access our subconscious mind which has the knowledge about us and about everything else.

We live with blaming circumstances, situations, other people and bad luck.

We sometimes blame parents and relatives.

We sometimes blame everything, but especially government, politics and politicians.

We blame doctors for our bad health.

We blame the century we live in.

We blame teachers for lack of kids’ success.

We blame other people who teach us for putting us in a bad situation.

In fact, we have to assume responsibility for what we do, what we say and what we think. It is us who made choices, even in situations when it feels we didn’t do anything wrong. It is difficult to understand what caused every situation, but it usually becomes clear after some time. That time might be shorter or longer, but the cause-and-effect chain will be visible from the distance.

Imagine you are watching a movie where somebody gets in all kinds of troubles. You hold your breath sometimes and beg: “Oh, no! Don’t do that!” or “Oh, my God! Don’t trust him!” If that were you, you would not act like that because you can see in a movie everything from the side and from a distant point. It is clear what everybody’s intention is, where it is going, and it is easy to understand where every action will take these people.

When it comes to our own life, we frequently tend to lose direction and purpose. We sometimes get lost completely, and we sometimes get off track, as well.

The truth is that nobody else is responsible for one’s lucky or unlucky life, but that person oneself. We only receive in our life what we believe in, what we believe we are and what we believe the world around us is. Neither the universe, nor God punishes anybody. When somebody feels guilty and blames him- or herself and carries the destructive feeling of guilt in themselves, the universe simply responds to that.

While most people want to change either themselves or their life, it is not that they always follow up on this desire. One can write thousands of positive affirmations, but if they go out and keep being angry, frustrated, envious and feel offended by everything, i. e., keep thinking the same old way, nothing will change. We have to start with changing ourselves instead of waiting for the world and other people to change.

Just try to recall how you say: “Thanks, God!” when good things happen. We simply have to learn recognizing opportunities for improvement, and the universe will respond to our good goals and honest attempts.

When bad things or situations happen, we frequently would say ”How unfair this life is!” In fact, something we did or did not, something we convinced ourselves about, and the way we acted and thought in the past, which might be a very distant past, eventually led to this situation.

When we keep repeating how unfair and bad life is, how terrible, mean and disgusting other people are, how poor, sick and unlucky we are, the universe can’t help, it has to respond to your desperate calls.

There are no coincidences.

We have to start with believing that everything we experience is a lesson. We are here to learn. When we do not get the lesson, the situation can turn bad.

When we say, we want to change; we have to start with ourselves. Waiting for somebody else to change is simply silly. I will repeat: we attract people who enter our life. It does not mean they are always great or good people. To change that, we most likely will have to change our opinion, our attitude towards other people and disposition towards the outside world. We will have to change the way we think about other people.

We start with changing ourselves

We are literally a reflection of our deepest belief and our thoughts. There are also hidden thoughts which we never show to others. It does not matter whether you put your opinion out or not: if it is deeply rooted in you, there will be a response.

Simple example. When a women complains that all her dates have been nasty and rude men who had no good intentions, means that either based on family experience or somebody else’s experience, she believes deeply in her heart that all men are nasty, rude, cheaters and liars. The universe will provide her with such a person.

Other situation. Somebody is at your door trying to offer you something, sell you something or get you in a shady deal. What’s your response? It is very often: “We don’t need anything’. Just pay attention how it looks and sounds: we don’t need anything.  The universe listens and delivers.

There are people who will sometimes ask you to help out financially and then there are people who beg for money on the street. What is frequently the response? “I don’t have any money”. “Sorry, I cannot help you because I’ve got no money at all”. “We have no money at all”. Universe definitely listens to that and depending on how frequently you love to repeat that, sequences will set in. Wouldn’t it better to just say: ”No, I don’t think I should invest in this”; “I’m not interested in this purchase, in this deal, so on”. “We usually do not give any money to drunk or high people”, that way.

These are lessons. These are also opportunities for us to change the way we see and react to other people and our world.

We should learn from everything: good situations and bad situations. We should take into account reminders, signs and warnings. We should also pay attention to encouraging and go-ahead situations. Some things will always trigger the same bad response. Why not learn from that?

Being nice to other people is good and useful, even when it is “just in case” or “you never know”.

Being attentive and observant is even better.

All the bad situations mean that we have to change a lot: our attitude, our assumptions, maybe our intentions and we have to rely on and make our subconscious mind guide us. Bad situations show that we are doing something wrong. All good situations mean that we are on the right path. Both types of situations are normal and needed in order we would keep developing ourselves instead of stagnating.

Blaming leads to no results. Instead, we have to start looking for ways to improve what we have and ways to make our life more fulfilling.

We start with changing ourselves.

P. S. This post was written initially as a response to a comment.

Learning life school lessons and recognizing signs

How long are we supposed to learn what life is and what we are? The answer is: as long as we live.

Life is fair

We frequently hear that life is not fair, that either God or universe has punished somebody. That is probably the first wrong assumption we have to forget about. Instead, we should try to understand that life is fair, universe treats as fair and God never punishes anybody. “But how so? Everything is wrong and nothing good ever happens, and people are so sick and unhappy,” you may say.

The smart subconscious mind

The truth is that we do not have the courage to become responsible for what we do, don’t do, what we think and what we say. Humans are so special because they have not only the conscious mind, but also subconscious mind. Are we aware of the fact that we subconsciously know everything, can change many things and can see our future and what we should do in order to live and feel better?

We used to have access to our subconscious mind when the human race was young, but small children and animals still do have it. As we became more and more civilized we grew a thick layer of pollution on top of our hidden and subconscious mind. The real life gets in the way: everything we were taught at school, everything we faced in our life, all TV, internet and social media news, anything we see, hear and experience cause us to lose the access to our hidden resources and the universal database where the knowledge and facts of the entire universe are stored.

Recognizing the cause

The question is: how do we help ourselves getting out of bad situations, crises, health issues, financial problems, relationship complications and many other unpleasant things?

First of all, we have to admit that the cause of anything in our life is rooted in us. Whether we like it or not, we are the source of good and bad things in our life. As soon as we manage to switch to a new approach, the universe is going to send different things our way. The fairness of universe’s response equals to our internal settings towards our personal reality. The sooner we stop blaming life, God or destiny, relatives, friends, competition or enemies for our problems, the better. The only person who is responsible for the way one’s life goes is that person oneself. They might not acknowledge or they might not realize it, but not knowing that something exists does not make it non-existent.

We are here to learn

For instance, every bad and nasty person in our life is to teach us something and make us understand something. That is still a distant learning, like a reminder, sometimes like a warning. If you refuse to understand the lesson, but get offended and angry instead, there will be more lessons. If you feel like a victim in this life, that’s pretty much what you get from the universe and God because they will try to please you by sending you more and more situations which correspond to your internal expectations.

If you feel threatened by situations and people and if you are scared most of the time that something bad might happen, you should be aware that is what the universe is going to give to match you with the real you.

 

How to live and feel better

In order to get better results and to resolve problematic situations, we need to become more observant and attentive. We need to change our attitude.

We usually receive directions and signs which should help us to either avoid bad situation or to pursue something great. That might be something somebody says you, something you suddenly notice, read or see in a dream.

An example: you are trying really hard to start a business or new company and there are plain obstacles. All things go against you. You cannot get a loan, papers do not get accepted, your lawyer does not show up at the most crucial moment, supplies do not arrive in time and so on. These are signs. They tell you that you’d be probably better off without the company or business. What about your subconscious mind? It might be so that you are starting the company in spite of something, just to prove something or simply because you have assumed you are a business person, but deep down you do not even want to do it and you doubt whether it makes sense to create the company, or you don’t have any skills and are scared about that. Therefore, the universe responds the way your subconscious mind suggests.

Another example: you have a date. You decide to have coffee just before leaving the house. Accidentally, the coffee spills all over your new outfit, it’s damaged beyond repair, or the car would not start, or no cab is available, or you cannot find the place. Universe, as smart as it is, might be seeing that this date does not fit you, and he or she will cause you pain and put you in a dangerous situation. It can be so that your subconscious mind which knows the future wants to prevent you from trouble. You might be even not sure that you want to date at this time since you doubt any good outcome. No need to get angry or frustrated. It is a sign and warning which you have to pay attention to. And so on.

Learning life school lessons and recognizing signs

How do we proceed with changing what we can?

We take responsibility for our actions, thoughts and words.

We start respecting and loving ourselves, we take a good care about ourselves.

We stop blaming anything and anybody, but look for things we did to cause the current situation.

We exclude feelings of guilt and fault from our life; that helps nobody, but destroys a person from inside. We forget about being envious and jealous, we stop whining and complaining; briefly: we start to look at solutions and we will find them.

We realize that the universe is fair, huge, unlimited and very smart. There is no such a thing as punishment unless you punish yourself.

We understand how resourceful and creative we are.

We start fresh with good intentions.

That is what I would wish everybody in the New Year.

 

Flow of time: where does it take us?

I arrived to Canada in 2004. I did not know what to expect, but I was very impressed by greatness of many things, and everything felt to me huge. I mean everything. Latvia where I came from is a small country, and, therefore, the endless wide roads, the high-rise buildings, the downtown Toronto with its busy streets and, especially, the size of any province was so different from what I was used to.

Well, time flew absurdly fast then, and I got married in October 30th of the same year. It’s very amazing that it is my daughter’s birthday on this day, too, which I hadn’t even realized when we made all arrangements. We stayed in Niagara Falls in a newlywed suite which had number 3010 on the door. Something else, or what?

Well, we got married in The Small Wedding Chapel in Niagara Falls. My family was in Latvia, so, my fiancé decided not to invite his family also, just to be fair to each other. Very tactful, I’d say. Therefore we headed out to Niagara Falls the day before wedding. The weather was mild and sunny during the day, although, it was the end of October. These pictures were taken by the numerous by-passers who all kept congratulating us, so, it felt wonderful actually.

I cannot believe it’s been 13 years. The flow of time is very different from what it was back then. The best part is that my daughter is 38 today and we celebrate the 13th wedding anniversary. So much fun together (over the internet because she is in Latvia).

Everything worked out quite well. My husband has proved himself to be the best, most loving and most honest person ever and he is still the same excellent man who I met back then. He has had a lot of patience and understanding in the situations when my health really gave up. When we are saying “…in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part” at the wedding, we rarely can be aware of what is ahead in reality. It has not been all that smooth, but, thankfully, we are managing everything.

We got married in Niagara Falls

Signing …

Happy me, well, we tried to take each others pictures first, and then the by-passers helped

This is us 13 years ago

While we are still very young we believe that nothing really changes as we get older, except it is a larger number. We assume we will have the same ideas and the same attitude, and the same capability when executing different things. That is so wrong! I just now have started to understand how my parents felt at older age, and I am very lucky to have my daughter as my best friend because my top energy levels matched time of her being young and very energetic and passionate.

We are a lot smarter. Life teaches us if we are willing to pay attention and to learn the lesson. We find out that some ideas were simply silly and that the world isn’t there to please us and make miraculously our wishes come true without any effort. We have learnt that lots of things require fighting for them and that path can take a lot of turns, too. It’s never as if going from point A to point B. There are always obstacles and problems, and all kinds of disturbances.

The most important things for a family are love, trust and respect. If any of these are missing, marriage is going to have cracks. The most important thing for an individual is the mental and physical health. While I have a lot of brain power, excellent memory and very strong willpower, the physical side is somewhat suffering. Well, I hope the future is friendly and has some better things for me and us.

Being an older white, legal immigrant in Canada is not quite the same as being a refugee. Refugees are treated very well here and receive extreme support. I haven’t received any smallest or tiniest support whatsoever. My only support has come from my husband so far, and I am happy and grateful for that. Other than that, my expectations did not come true: I wasn’t met too friendly wherever I turned to in Canada, and I haven’t made too many friends locally, as well. Realistically, I was already 46 when I relocated to Canada; so, it’s not the same as when one is 16 or even 26. I have turned from a very social person (I worked at publishing houses, high schools and colleges in Latvia, it was work with and among people) to a very isolated person. My lack of health has contributed to that also, a lot actually, but still, I did not expect such ignorance from the local community and people. It has been as if approaching some unbreakable brick wall: there is very little interest about what I do and offer. I suppose one has way better chances if they have classmates, schoolmates, University time friends, childhood friends and obviously relatives in the country they work and live.

Well, I have only my husband.

Cheers to our 13 wonderful years together! I want to thank my husband and God for this great time and I certainly believe that the best times are still ahead of us.

P. S. I have to apologize to fellow bloggers for their kind and numerous comments and likes to previous posts, as well, as thank you to all who keep following my art site https://inesepogagallery.com/ I will approve everything and I will return all likes as soon as get a bit better and all my stuff is sorted out. That won’t be today because it is our wedding anniversary. Thanks to everybody!

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