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How to feel good and survive the dullness of depressing winter days

Do you have your favorite recipe for surviving dark, cold, nasty winter days?

I’ve seen and heard from a lot of people recently who are in cold and bad winter weather areas that they don’t feel well. Sneezing, coughing and aching is nothing new in winters when we change rapidly from minus 20 and move up to plus 7 degrees within a few days. What do you do not to stress out your body and yourself even more?

Most people assume stress comes from outside: too much work, too many interruptions, inability to do any task properly because of so many obstacles and disturbances, emptying and exhausting relationships, impact from energetically draining people with bad attitude around us, failure to implement our plans and goals and so on. In fact, most stresses come from inside the body, hence, we have so many adaptive mechanisms and so many systems that try to regulate the processes inside the body and mind in order to bring us back in balance.

This is certainly a period when we should nurture ourselves. Be easy and loving towards ourselves. Be patient and take one step at a time. My personal favorite tools for surviving winter come from my grandmother, my mom uses the same things, I continue using these simple remedies, and my daughter doesn’t mind them either.

Cold or heat: our body systems have to take on any stresses. That can cause mood fluctuations and add to discomfort, especially if we are already having some condition. Brain chemicals sound complicated and so they are, however, there are nice extremely uncomplicated things which can help them return to balance. Once the digestive and immune system are properly taken care of, headaches and heart aches disappear, anxiety and nervousness evaporates, blood pressure and blood glucose levels normalize, and having no inflammation is the best thing that can happen to us. Inflammation within the body causes most of our troubles.

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Tea will not only warm up, but also provide with numerous health benefits.

Rose hip tea for toning ourselves in the morning: it is a strong antioxidant, rich in vitamin C, helps digestive and immune system and decreases inflammations in the body, it helps fighting all diseases caused by inflammation, and almost anything can be related to inflammation. I know an older man who would never miss his morning dose of rose hip tea. He said it was really boosting his energy and activating his defense mechanism to take on any difficult tasks he has to face that day.

Chamomile tea for calming, warming and healing: relieve your stress, anxiety. Enjoy a cup and it will also reduce pain and any kind of stomach disorder, as well as take care of good sleep and your immune system.

Mint is always handy for keeping us in good shape because it improves digestion, reduces pain, eliminates inflammation, relaxes the body and mind and boosts the immune system.

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Did you know that you can test any tea putting it in cold water to see if it is really natural? If putting tea in cold water results in color which could be only achieved with very hot water, it is clear: coloring agents are added.

Do people with strong immune system also get colds or only those ones who have some underlying conditions?  If you are mainly healthy and still young, such cold periods should be shorter and affect you less. Cold is not flu, but it is caused by multiple viruses, especially rhinovirus. We all know how to treat colds, but when cold is persistent and doesn’t go away with over-the-counter remedies; we have to see the doctor in order to avoid all kinds of complications.

SAD? Seasonal affective disorder, I mean? We can become sad, sluggish and start feeling drained, definitely. It often seems that alcohol could be just the right cure from this sadness, upset and depressed mood, but, in fact, alcohol is a bad company for winter time, especially when one is heading outdoors. Feeling hot is very misleading because we get such sensation due to widening blood vessels. We do not feel how cold the air in reality is, and that can have serious sequences. Secondly, alcohol makes depression, anxiety and stress worse. For a moment one can be uplifted and flying in clouds, not that much later and the next morning when all bad experiences return with double force. We are already fragile in frequently changing weather conditions due to lack of fresh air and outdoor activities. Why to add more stress to our sensitive self?

You will have heard most likely about vitamin D supplements. The sunshine vitamin. Much less daylight can affect us, no doubt about that, however, if you are a person who always believes more is better, remember that we still need to be tested for vitamin D levels in order to know how much and if to take it. Overdoing a lot with vitamin D will cause kidney failure. We have nowadays all kinds of things added to regular foods, so take into account in how many combinations you’re already getting it supplemented.

We cannot go wrong with vitamin C since it is very difficult to actually consume it in levels that we could talk about overdose. The only important thing is that artificial vitamins and other substances will not be absorbed in the same way as the ones from natural sources. That means, naturally occurring amino acids and vitamins are much more effective because your body cells recognize them and know how to use. The absorption level usually varies and depends on plenty of other nutritional components; however, absorption level of an artificial supplement is never 100%.

We are drinking less water when it is cold, and when temperatures are so low it is very easy to overlook dehydration. Also, if your home or work place isn’t that cozy and warm it is extremely tough to make one consume some half a liter of water in the morning. People who are not diabetics can try hot water with honey and lemon. Diabetics should still stick to water. One bottle of water before anything else on empty stomach makes huge difference.

The other very useful, healthy and nutritious way of helping ourselves is replacing heavy dinners or big lunches with soup. Like all Latvians, I love soups, as well. Normal Latvian family can have a soup dinner a few times a week. We make soups from everything what is available, but very often beet soup, fresh cabbage borscht (definitely our family’s favorite!). We make beet soup with any type of meat. We love all kinds of vegetable soups, melted cheese soup with paprika, Latvian style meatball soup, obviously chicken soup, pea soup, smoked salmon soup, sauerkraut soup, bean soup with smoked ribs, many kinds of sweet fruit and dumpling soups … The list is endless since it is possible to cook a very warming and delicious soup using just basic vegetables, bones and meat. Soup is an extract of vitamins, nutrients and minerals. Everybody can adjust it to their taste and preferences. Soup heals, warms up and recharges. Plus, it’s not going to give your stomach digestive issues.

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Winter is a time when we should be really taking good care of ourselves. I do not deny the importance of being physically active and engaging in physical exercises, but for lots of people the main part of surviving winter will be as basic as: how to keep ourselves healthy. Making a cup of herbal tea is so hilariously easy! Just do it; a few times a day and one more time before you go to sleep. Even these who do not feel well can manage that.

It is also important to have plenty of light whatever light one prefers: soft light, warm light, bright light for hobbies, candle light for soul and good thoughts; it doesn’t matter. We need a lot of light until the sun moves higher up in the sky.

Happiness is moody: life lessons

The New Year has walked across the globe by now.  Although, it is just a date, a reference mark along the way, we meet the January 1st as if it is a new beginning, a new way of life, a new hope and a new happiness which awaits just behind the next bend. Or does it?

I don’t think I can go through one more year like the last one. I will do my best not to, that is for sure. I look around, and I am much surprised how I actually have got done so many things. I sometimes cannot believe I did that because there were so many days in the last year I was unable to walk, to sleep, to feel somewhat ok. I certainly hope the 3 year-long terrible suffering is over and, hopefully, the issue is resolved. It should be. Will it?

Many years ago, a Latvian poet wrote some sad lines: “When the pain will stop, when it will completely end, everything else will end, as well.” That is exactly what it is since pain is a sign of us still being capable to take on new struggles and to prove we can resist it and get over it. It is difficult, indeed. I’m not talking about physical pain only which can be so strong that nothing more exists: it surrounds one as a thick cloud leaving no space to breathe. I’m talking about life that runs away like sand in an hourglass. Lost time, lost opportunities and lost days. So many.

My current condition was caused by negligence of quite a few physicians: GP who quit the job later, a few others who were supposed to come up with correct diagnosis, but didn’t, and, finally, the surgeon who took everything the light way: everything is fine. Right. Any of this could be avoided if the doctor ever paid attention to what patient says and knows. Yet, they don’t. I have heard so much nonsense during these years that I have all rights to say: the health care system in Canada is broken, and it is very hard to understand how some doctors without any competence in complex medical matters can be employed as such.

Well, I am hopeful because the hope is always there: the next day will be much better, the next month will be much easier, the next year will be much nicer to me. It should be. It better be. Or otherwise what? Nothing. It’s about time I return to things that make me happy.

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As a young kid I had to walk to school for quite a distance every morning. I hated mornings because I was usually reading all night, and it was extremely difficult to get up. We used to live on a high hill. As I walked, and sometimes the weather was just really nasty, I could see another hill, far away. That hill always seemed to be sunny when it was windy, cold and rainy or snowy where I was. I have no explanation for that, but the sun just loved the distant hill. I often thought: I’m going to get to this other hill. I’m going to live my life on that sunny hill. Years passed by, but the other hill remained in quite a distance. I moved to a place from another side of planet across the ocean. I left that hill there, in Latvia. I don’t even know if it is visible anymore because any landscape changes a lot over 50 years. I am still on the way to that hill. Am I any closer? Maybe. I just know I’m not on it, I haven’t reached the point where I want to be, to live, to stand, to exist yet. Will I ever? Does anybody ever have it all? The truth is: we get something and we pay a lot for it. We sometimes pay more than we ever imagined was possible.

The truth about anything that doesn’t kill us and makes us stronger is only in that regard that we know we are not giving up that easily now. Is it necessary to become stronger this way? Not at all. So much energy goes to waste which could be used for way more rewarding things, things that actually make one’s life relevant and significant.

It was sunny during the day. That might be a good sign. A sunny year? How wonderful that would be!

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Wishing everybody to avoid unnecessary struggles and to reach your sunny hill whatever way you take in 2017!

Christmas fairy tale: Going home

Going home for Christmas

The lonely walker feels that home shouldn’t be far anymore. A full moon just like 2000 years ago has scattered silver and snow diamonds all over the frozen trees and along the path. The lonely walker does not feel tiredness or exhaustion. The warm flavor of freshly baked bread and pies will be mixing together with the adorable scent of Christmas tree, and that is a dream to come true for somebody who hasn’t had eaten home-cooked meal for quite a while. He has a small gift for everybody, it wasn’t much he could buy, but he is full of hope that the gift of love should be enough for everyone.

Shadows stretch across the road and fade away in the distance. The sky is covered with black velvet and large stars appear on it like golden distant sparkles from eternity. Hardly any wind disturbs the frozen landscape, it is the silent night and everybody who has a home is trying to be there by now.

Candles are everywhere and their flames whisper: it is so peaceful and magic, and the shine in our eyes, the sparkles in the tree, the shimmering of stars in the sky confirm: there is no other miracle possible and needed. Lights are in every window, on any porch and the sounds of Christmas songs are flattering in the crisp air.

The lonely walker rushes his steps, although, the snow is deep and it can be quite tricky to get over some snowdrifts. He isn’t angry about the small obstacles on his way home. He knows he is getting closer and closer with every step, and the roof top should become visible just behind the next bend. A dog is barking somewhere from the darkness, some metal gate opens and closes, sounds vibrate far away and make one long even more for being in the safety and calm of his own home.

Just along the old apple trees, just five steps up onto the porch, and the door opens. For a moment he is blinded by all the warm and bright coziness of the inside, and it smells ever so good in here! Hugs follow hugs, and there is nothing like returning home for a lonely walker through the night.

Yet, one from the distance is watching these smiles and kisses and listening to laughs, and he is aware they don’t know how carefully and softly he is holding their every move in his welcoming and forgiving hand. The one who shines the light through the deepest night.

 

Going home for Christmas

Share the joy! Help the miracle happen!

English proverb says: charity never made poorstealing never made rich, and wealth never made wise.

I can only agree with this proverb.

However, we rarely see this implemented in the real life.

The question is: why not?

It’s because thanks to technical advancement, human brain gets used less and less, and we are seeing lots of out-of-focus, forgetful, inattentive and not that sharp brain responses nowadays. Where is humanity going? Towards the artificial intelligence replacing the normal one?

It’s also because poor people donate something to other poor people while extremely rich make their donations to large charities which quite often sponsor their personal businesses.

It’s also because there are so many advantage takers, so many middle men who steal everything from the person who works, creates and does.

It’s because greed dictates to overlook anything not profitable, therefore, it’s ok to poison people with harmful chemical food and drinks as long as they bring in huge profits. Doing so for 50 years has caused epidemics of cancers, obesity, diabetes, heart and vascular diseases and all kinds of gastrointestinal and brain and cognitive function related disorders. I haven’t heard or seen anybody seriously pointing towards the huge internationally operated processed food or drink manufacturers that they sell poison and present harmful chemicals as good and healthy food. Well, there are a few people who write enlightening articles which soon disappear in the sea of distorted reality.

It’s ok to cheat, lie and spread out rumours, hence, that’s a very popular thing. Who cares about truth? In fact, we are noticing, how many cannot accept and take any truth. Not at all. The truth has to be decorated, sweetened and embellished in order it would become digestible for the most part of population. Just try saying something not flattering to somebody. Just try, you won’t be waiting too long for nasty responses. So, where is the respect to other points of view, to other opinions?

Great example is CNN: it’s hard not to notice how hard they try sticking to unproven facts, how many efforts they put in propaganda and popularization of assumptions. The news they call news are not really anything based on facts, but they always go like this: he thinks, we assume, she believes, etc. The views they express and represent are very one-sided and very biased. I personally have lost respect for many of them; maybe the most neutral is Anderson Cooper who doesn’t openly look like he’s going to personally attack everybody who disagrees with his point of view.

I am working extremely hard on implementation of the new perception: perception that does not idolize somebody because of their wealth or status, the perception that facilitates creation, creativity, independent way of thinking and being. Results? Quite poor so far because the toughest thing ever is trying to break some strong, old, dogmatic, widely supported, unfair and misguiding principles that dictate to respect the trends, trending people and trending habits, but have nothing to do with genuine and honest evaluation of human potential and human achievements.

100% commercialized Christmas also falls in the category of misleading naive and believing people who really think that it is true if it says: everybody is buying, eating, preparing, looking for and watching one thing, but not the other one. When I hear “everybody” I want to ask: who is everybody? 1 in every 10 or 100 people? 5 in every 1000 people on whom there are statistics?

Putting it simple: everybody is nobody.

Christmas gifts

Are you overdoing with gifts because otherwise somebody might think something bad about you? Or otherwise kids would respect you less since that girl received talking laptop and the other guy has a robot for Christmas? Or car? Or necklace worth a large house?

The truth is that giving gifts and giving to less fortunate people at Christmas was never supposed to be a competition, however, in the world led by greed, competition is the only way most people would understand.

What happened to the natural warmth of the heart, to cards that kids draw and paint themselves, to decorations all family make and put up on the tree together? What happened to simple, home-baked goods and treats that even kids can help with? What happened to nice, inexpensive gifts which were always supposed to show the good will and love of the gift giver, not their wealth and amount of available dollars? What happened to Christmas that was for everybody: for lonely, for not that well-off, for those who have disabilities, for every child, for every mom and dad, for every parent, for those without a family? Where are the events that invite all of us to come together and share the joy without the need to invest in large gifts and attractions? It’s good at least walking and watching fantastic store window decorations is for free. It’s nice that poor people donate gifts for other poor people because they understand that every single heart is expecting a Christmas miracle to happen. Will this wish come true? I hope it will.

Share the joy! Help the miracle happen!

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The soothing Sunday Thoughts: I saw this morning

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I saw this morning

How cautiously a leaf was swirling

Down to the ground.

And hesitantly,

And as if wanting to make this moment

An endless dance.

The tree had let it go,

To fly, to shine and die.

Small, tiny star, made up of purest gold,

With sunshine in its veins

And rain in every cell.

It had accomplished

Its mission.

Good bye is in the air,

And wisp of smoke from fire,

From burning leaves.

It raises straight to heaven,

To reach the clouds.

The wisp of smoke from tiny burning star.

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P. S. We have been awarded with a fantastic, sunny weather. It is so warm, and the air is full of fall flavors. The sun is just dancing in reflections and leaves. The beauty of this season is breathtaking and sad at the same time: this is the feast before the long silence and sleep, yet, there is no way to describe the passionate intensity of leaves. My artistic nature enjoys every shade of these colors, every shape of disappearing beauty, and these days have been so uplifting, cheerful and inspiring.

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I wish everybody a pleasant walk into the fall!

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Living green means simplifying and enhancing life

So far, we have been taught that more is always better. We have known for decades that having more than anybody else is the best.

It is fairly obvious, however, that it is better to have a few good things than very many useless ones. We have to educate ourselves every single day, and do that not based on what somebody else believes, but based on facts, our and other peoples’ experience and tested, proven truth. The campaigns which claim to provide us with miracle products are just advertising trick because the real miracle of life is our ability to change the aspects affecting us. We always have a choice, would that be food or place to live.

We love excuses, we can justify any laziness or idleness of mind and body. There are diseases, there are accidents, many of which wouldn’t happen if just paid more attention and implemented some preventive measures. Accidents and diseases are quite often caused by things WHICH WE DID NOT WANT TO DO. Which we felt we were too tired or too exhausted to do.

Prevention is the best protection, both against diseases and accidents. Having everything safely placed at home and in the outdoor space, prevents plenty of childhood accidents. It is not that difficult to never place hot or boiling substance close to the table rim. It is not that difficult to fence in open water on a property. One ambulance worker said: if people didn’t try so hard to show off how brave or strong they are, many accidents wouldn’t happen.

Choosing simple things over expensive equipment and gym isn’t any worse sporting activity. In fact, we are aware now, that MODERATE physical activities are the best. That means people who already have some illness or disorder, have to be careful and choose activities which won’t harm them more.

Everybody who can, should take walks. The added bonus is doing that in tree-rich area, parks, forests, taking a path away from busy traffic routes. When we compare walk in the forest and workout in the gym, it is almost like having decent organic meal and dining at fast food restaurant.

Appearances take huge place in any area of our life. I mean, people do so much stuff not for themselves, but to show off to somebody who is “EVERYBODY”. I have noticed how TV uses “everybody”: everybody eats this and everybody watches that; everybody wears that outfit or color and everybody exercises like that. EVERYBODY is NOBODY.

Thankfully, we are also all different as our DNA proves. There are no 100% identical people on the planet because even twins due to epigenetic factors develop distinctive life styles or get different diseases in their life-time.

Epigenetic factors have strong influence, therefore, we are not only determined by our genetic potential or some genetic disorder.

The best way to keep ourselves healthy is to ALWAYS stay close to nature and natural products and environment.

We can learn a lot from the garden: how to start fresh every year, how to bloom regardless of bad weather and how to get through tough winter peacefully and being ready for new blossoming. Therefore, we can impact our destiny and genetic predisposition by returning to nature: fresh air, unpolluted water, undisturbed sunlight and clean soil will always take care about basic products, greens and herbs on our table. The beauty and tranquility of a garden is the best environment to recharge and reset one’s energy.

It was late fall, and some flowers were still blossoming. Sunflowers are beauties with a strength and surviving power of a warrior. Colors of leaves make us wonder every fall: the nature has so many shades of colors and shapes.

The new perception of prosperity and green living has become a must

Why do we think resources are endless?

Maybe you don’t or maybe I do not, but we are not seeing implementation of any resource-saving impactful actions in the daily life of just everybody. The richer somebody is, the more they believe they require thousands of outfits, thousands of pairs of shoes, many cars, so that every person can use one on their own, tens of rooms, so on.

We humans are designed the way that we can be only at one place at a time, wear one outfit at a time and sleep only in one bed at a time. The first thing that has to change is the perception of prosperity. We have to stop buying things just to show-off our wealth. In reality, you look at Facebook, that’s all you see: people bragging about everything. The perception has to change so dramatically that kids growing up have rich imagination and creative approach and they understand how to use it not harming natural resources and nature around us.

Advertising has huge power. Financially abnormally rich companies do not show any example in saving resources. The only aspect they save is the cost which goes into any service or product in order to gain large profits.

We normally think that pollution over China is something that Chinese are responsible for and they have to deal with. We also think that ice caps on poles decreasing are so far away and we don’t even feel any impacts. We think that floods in some places where they never happened before are just nature’s mood and inevitable disaster. How about destroying any natural balance and creating unwanted and undesirable side effects? They manifest as natural disasters just about anywhere because the Earth has to return to BALANCE.

The earth is one and everything is connected within it, above it and under the ground, oceans are connected with the sky and the land is connected with oceans, not to mention air; and humans who are assuming we are technologically so advanced that we shouldn’t fear anything are also in the same connective air-water-land space.

We are very many. We all need food, air and shelter. We need medicines, fashion and we require entertainment. The new perception should focus on essential things, on life enhancing things instead of mental garbage thrown at us in huge amounts and things that make the planet Earth safer and our life better and more enjoyable.

We know that so far all simple, good things are free: sunlight, air, beauty of nature, adorable views, and not privatized waters, rivers and ocean beaches. We can enjoy and create so many things not harming nature and ourselves. We simply MUST want that.

There MUST be a start when one says: I do not need 10 fur coats because the winter in my area is short. I do not need 50 handbags because most of them I never use anyway. I do not need extremely big, but good-looking packaging that’s not biodegradable. I do not need and I will not use any drinks or foods that come in plastic. I will make my perfect shopping bags out of recycled material friendly to me and nature. I will not leave the water tap open and I will not leave power on in any rooms where I am not present. I will not buy food in large packs and later discard it as garbage. I am aware that garbage is burying us, and I will only use products in nature friendly packaging.

The NEW PROSPERITY PERCEPTION starts with each one of us. Because we are so many. Because we can do a lot.

The attached natural forest pictures continue with wild mushrooms and leaves. Isn’t that amazing how poisonous, not edible mushrooms attract with much brighter appearance?

The next post will show the beauty in a fall garden, last blooms and many colours of garden plants.

The very green walk in October forest: we have to end consumerism

I am feeling energy as an independent dimension of our existence, being and universe. The energetic potential of a forest is so intense that time disappears and the freshness surrounds us like a cloud. The forest breathes with colourful foliage, tree trunks that are so deeply engraved with signs of the past times, incredibly attractive shapes and shades of moss and pine forest lichens. What a treasure for somebody who needs a bit of new and relaxing energy!

The flora of this forest was so rich, and adorable beauty and uniqueness was present in every smallest branch, every mushroom we found and grass stem.

The cold weather is just starting In Latvia, so I was lucky to still find late wild mushrooms because we just stopped by at the forest on our way home.

The mood and atmosphere of these lonely pathways was amazingly tranquil, the brightness of greens was shining through the thickening twilight. It was getting dark rapidly, but it was the warmest night so far, and didn’t rain for a moment either.

Latvia met me with chilly wind gusts and unstoppable cold showers. Therefore, this green adventure was refreshing. It’s needless to mention I am envious of nice temperature back in Canada, but there was a reason I had to travel during this not that pleasant season.

People talk a lot about green living recently. It does not take much to discover how we can use the treasures of nature without destroying it. It only requires to get back to one’s roots and learn living with less. The first step towards green living is stopping consumerism.

The insatiable consumption is the cause of many disasters our planet suffers from. It doesn’t seem some people will ever have enough: enough outfits, enough cars or houses, enough furniture, enough devices, enough entertainment, enough money. In fact, living green and close to nature means being happy with basic things and not overusing resources to satisfy one’s moods and cravings for being famous for wrong reasons.

The reality shows most people understand with green living the use of ecologically clean products instead of artificial, but not reduction in consumption or misuse of resources.

How simple and enjoyable life would be without greed and all these hungry consumers who only want to take, take, take more, and never give back or restrict their desires! The green living starts with ecologically clean and green thinking. Consumers are consumers whatever color we paint them; we need creators and those who save nature, not the ones who brag around about green living, but meanwhile destroy everything because of profits and their greed.

Walk in the forest can be the most enjoyable experience, it will cure physical and mental disorders and award the one who looks for discoveries.

 

Blessings from people who wish us well go long ways

I am very thankful and grateful to all my friends, fellow bloggers who have supported me so much during this extremely tough time.  It might seem like nothing special to those who do not blog frequently or have done this for a short time yet. However, there are moments when our life reaches the point when we become completely upset because of some health issues, we lose our determination and all good intentions are forgotten since there is no energy to implement any of them. During these times, my friends, bloggers were right there. There were hundreds and hundreds of prayers, good thoughts and blessings sent.

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I think the aspect which makes blogging so unique among all other forms of social interaction is the ability to really discover people, make new friends, even though, they are far away and scattered over all countries of the globe. I am certainly grateful for this ongoing, never stopping support. Among you are many people who suffer or have suffered from all kinds of health problems. That’s life and that’s something which we get as a side effect of living not in a perfect world. One second can turn our life upside down, and the sequences can stretch over decades. We need courage to realistically access our condition, and we need lots and lots of strength. What was the most pleasurable experience during the days when I was totally off? Those were encouragements, wishes feeling better and blessings which arrived from all sides of the globe.

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It is so wonderful that there is love which never ends; there is kindness, appreciation and gratitude. It is wonderful to feel better, and lots of friends have contributed to my inner comfort.

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I can only repeat that starting my two blogs (one 4 years ago and this one just last year) was the best thing I could ever do. There isn’t anything else like blogging; no Facebooks, Twitters or other media can ever replace that because of content, unlimited exchange of thoughts, ideas and inspiration.

I am attaching 3 fall photos from my personal archive; I hope you’ll love these.

Those who love art are invited to check out https://inesepogagallery.com/2016/09/25/2949/

and http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/inese-poga.html

And finally: I feel blessed for all this help and am sending back my prayers and blessings to those of you who need them at this moment.

The soothing Sunday thoughts: castles of sand

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I know they won’t be able to withstand the big waves and the stormy winds. I keep building them regardless. Lots and lots of marvelously shaped wonders made out of zillion sand crystals. Castles of pure sand.

I know very clearly, and it is so obvious that such buildings are for a moment and they won’t last. They never do. Why to bother? Why to put in so much time in something evanescent that only passes away in the moment it is created and is unable to survive? Did I think this would be an exception? Did I believe that our dreams can magically turn sand into gold? Steel? Glass? Concrete? Wood? I must have been really silly believing in the magic of imagination. I must have lost the thin line between daydreaming and reality.

I build them all day. Long rows of beautiful and tall sand castles. I get up in the morning; pack up my pain and depression so they can enviously stare at my creations. When the weather is smooth like a silk scarf and the sun just sends down the first beams to explore the coastline, I am ready to get to my never-ending work: I am focused, determined and extremely self-conscious. I don’t need any plans, I don’t care about schedules. I always hope this day is going to be better than the previous one. In fact, it never is. My castles are fine. Materials and place are wrong. If it only was some other place. If I only had something stronger for my castles. So the night sets in, waves rise and they level down my creations. When I look at the same place next morning, all I can see is an empty sandy coast. No sign of anything from the day before.

Well, it has come to the point when I have to make a decision. I have two bad choices to consider. Doing nothing is not a good choice and doing something might worsen the current situation. It is as if I am standing at the crossroads and neither one of four roads promises to end in a good destination. Or do they? There might be something hidden behind the hills, there might be a good news waiting. Meanwhile, the days have been quiet and fairly empty. Foggy, meaningless and painful. The only thing to hold on has been castles built of sand. Fragile, unsafe and only for a short moment standing. They cannot become a shelter. They cannot save anybody from the storm. Why to bother? Why?

I would say there is always still hope even with a hopeless intention and an impossible purpose.

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