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Seasons of life and the forgotten knowledge we all have

If we want to feel like a magician and creator of our life we have to understand how everything is connected in the Universe. Time has a very relative meaning in different space locations or in different situations of life.

Age and aging is a relative thing, too: it literally depends on our attitude towards ourselves, the amount of love we give ourselves, the degree of devotion to life and living because not everybody is even interested in living or being alive: why would they do numerous destructive things to themselves if that is not the case?

Aging is a natural thing, and we can witness the seasonal cycle of life in nature every year. Aging scares many people, but we cannot escape it, therefore, we must find things that keep us young longer: physically, mentally and emotionally.

Just like anything in our life, our aging process reflects our values, personal attitude, fear towards aging or lack of it, or excessive obsession with measures that make one look younger. Outside does not always reflect inside. We can look splendid on the outside, be well dressed, well-behaved, but the inside tells a different story.

Fear, insecurity, feeling sorry or regretful, as well as having feelings, such as envy, grudge, inability to forgive, inability to let things go, inability to adapt to the current situation and habit of residing in the past when one was young, good-looking and full of energy, eats up some people from the inside.

Every person experiences seasons in their life, however, every person in particular can experience mostly spring, summer, fall and winter or have them in a mixed order: some children are very mature, and some adults never grow up.

My life has had a long spring, stormy fall and extra early winter which turns into summer when I am past 50, and this summer never ends. Amazing, right? To have my knowledge, insight and skills I have spent big part of my life studying, learning, researching and exploring, I do it every single day.

Childhood is innocence and curiosity. Youth has spark and flame that needs to be turned into useful energy. As much as I love spring, I also love the mature beauty of summer and the wisdom of women who have seen it all: the calm wisdom of an orchard which gives us fruits; the deep calm under the transparent September sky.

I can survive winter; I just do not want to stay in it for too long. We are all equipped with abilities which allow adjusting to many conditions, whether internal, or external.

Therefore, we not only create our destiny and life, but we should be actively managing it. Playing with it? Maybe even playing with it.

The less obsessed we are with not getting old and older, the better we’ll be aging. Fear alone is such a strong destructive force. We attract things that take over our mind and subconsciousness.

Whatever we worry about and do not want to happen, definitely will in case we cannot stop thinking about that. It is very difficult to abstract our controllable mind from worries and fears, but we can let the subconsciousness help. Will it? Yes, it will as soon as we will start thinking about things that we enjoy and which bring us closer to a good outcome and away from troubles.

Do you have any idea how many people convince them that they are sick? The illnesses can range from mental to physical and also include physical conditions when no doctor finds anything, but the person just isn’t well. If it did not depend of our deeply hidden mind to a great extent, there weren’t any placebo effect. However, there is a very well observed placebo effect frequently and in many situations, and it can be so powerful that people sometimes speak about miracles.

Theoretically, we know everything. We have the understanding of many things even if we never knew they existed. It is because this knowledge is hidden so deep that our normal state of mind always dominates, and we are trying to trust only decisions we have made consciously, not the ones which we see in a dream or perceive as vague notions.

I believe that having no doubts in ourselves and courageously doing our best is already an achievement. If you had to define yourself only by the amount of self-care and self-love, where would you stand?

I have discovered summer inside my deep hidden mind. It is there, and it takes nothing much to be in it.

It is new path I am taking, and it is quite controversial to everything I have been taught before, but, nevertheless, it feels promising and it already has results.

 

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Becoming a magician and the power of plum tree leaves

Shaping your life and getting where you want to be

Becoming a magician and shaper of your life involves watching signs, being in harmony with our surroundings and nature since they wish us well and are helping us getting where we want to be. We want to be healthy, and there are numerous ways to stay healthy and get help when we have problems. Problems indicate that we have moved away from the balanced model of life. That indicates our concerns, feelings of guilt, regrets and grief have started to manifest as physical or mental conditions.

How did we get where we are?

We could have invited our problems by refusing to be honest to ourselves. We may be missing the personal love aspect and we might be spending too much time worrying about everything. Living worry-free is certainly the path to take. If we admit we are stressed out most of the time, that is a definite sign changes must be implemented. First of all, changes have to be conscious, have positive and honest intention which harms nobody and they have to be directed towards our wellbeing.

Our subconsciousness is smart

By default, we have known and we know everything we need. We are mostly aware of the visible and touchable things, but frequently completely unaware of the hidden impacts of our thoughts, emotions and behaviours. Instead of helping ourselves staying on the right path, we start to fight different things, and become obsessed with the other ones, describing some of them as evil and some as healing. In fact, we are in place which we have chosen either consciously, or subconsciously. We have taken ourselves to this place where we are right now and we are in a situation which we have created. I could not accept this for the last two decades, but the universe is wise, and sooner or later, one finds what they are looking for.

We have created our surroundings

What we have is what have wished for and what we have been working towards. We have created the situation we are in and we are in place where our life has taken us. We have created the life we know. We have to become different when we want a different situation and different outcome. If we stay and live in one place long enough (5-10 years), the nature literally grows and brings to you all plants, fruits and vegetables you need. We know that we have subconscious cravings for some herbs, plants, flowers, fruits and vegetables and we feel annoyed by some other. The nature wants us to feel good, to pay attention to what it offers and to use what it gives us.

Shaping your life and getting where you want to be Becoming a magician and shaper of your life involves watching signs, being in harmony with our surroundings and nature since they wish us well and are helping us getting where we want to be. We want to be healthy, and there are numerous ways to stay healthy and get help when we have problems. Problems indicate that we have moved away from the balanced model of life. That indicates our concerns, feelings of guilt, regrets and grief have started to manifest as physical or mental conditions. How did we get where we are? We could have invited our problems by refusing to be honest to ourselves. We may be missing the personal love aspect and we might be spending too much time worrying about everything. Living worry-free is certainly the path to take. If we admit we are stressed out most of the time, that is a definite sign changes must be implemented. First of all, changes have to be conscious, have positive and honest intention which harms nobody and they have to be directed towards our wellbeing. Our subconsciousness is smart By default, we have known and we know everything we need. We are mostly aware of the visible and touchable things, but frequently completely unaware of the hidden impacts of our thoughts, emotions and behaviours. Instead of helping ourselves staying on the right path, we start to fight different things, and become obsessed with the other ones, describing some of them as evil and some as healing. In fact, we are in place which we have chosen either consciously, or subconsciously. We have taken ourselves to this place where we are right now and we are in a situation which we have created. I could not accept this for the last two decades, but the universe is wise, and sooner or later, one finds what they are looking for. We have created our surroundings What we have is what have wished for and what we have been working towards. We have created the situation we are in and we are in place where our life has taken us. We have created the life we know. We have to become different when we want a different situation and different outcome. If we stay and live in one place long enough (5-10 years), the nature literally grows and brings to you all plants, fruits and vegetables you need. We know that we have subconscious cravings for some herbs, plants, flowers, fruits and vegetables and we feel annoyed by some other. The nature wants us to feel good, to pay attention to what it offers and to use what it gives us. Accessibility of natural resources Most of us have direct access to natural resources even when living in big cities. We just need to open our eyes and re-evaluate what is available. Going for a hike, visiting relatives in the country side, taking a trip to a green region or simply walking in the park? Take advantage of what comes your way as leaves, blossoms, plants. I do not mean one has to tear of all greens, but picking flowers and greens in a wild flower field is not going to offend either nature, or somebody else. Tea and extract of plum tree leaves Previous time, I shared the many uses of apple leaves which are extremely easy to pick. This time, I would like to share how you can utilize plum tree leaves. You can pick plum tree leaves all summer. Try this healing natural resource and keep using in winter by drying and making flavorful tea or extract. There are no restrictions when using plum tree leaves as tea. It is especially recommended for people who have sedentary way of living since it successfully removes toxins from our body, as well as boosts excretion of unnecessary substances. Coumarins in plum leaves prevent formation of blood clots in the blood vessels, relax smooth muscles in the blood vessels, therefore, dilating them, as well as have soothing and relaxing effect. Finely chopped fresh plum tree leaves are believed to facilitate healing of wounds. Extract of plum tree leaves with a small amount of vinegar can be used for cleaning deep or infected wounds. By hair loss: Pour boiling water over plum tree leaves, allow to steep for about an hour. Use for hair rinsing and apply to hair roots. Stomatitis: for rinsing mouth, pour 200 g of water over 20 g of plum tree leaves and boil for 15 minutes, cool, drain. Gum disease: use 200 ml boiling water over 1 tablespoon of finely chopped or crushed plum tree leaves, allow t steep for 3 hours, drain and rinse mouth 4 times a day. It is possible to also use plum tree leave extract in red wine: finely chop leaves, pour red wine over them, let stand for 3 weeks and then drain. Extract of plum tree leaves and/or plum blossoms can be used also for treatment of internal diseases. Such extract cleans the liver, normalizes and improves our metabolism, improves nervous system conditions and helps in cases of insomnia. Plum tree leaves are also used to treat kidney problems. Plum tree leaf extract can be successfully used for treatment of bladder and kidney inflammations, as well as for cold related conditions: 200 g of water pour over 1 tablespoon of leaves and boil for 15 minutes on low heat (once boiled add boiling water to reach the initial amount of water); use 100 g 3 times a day before meal. To maintain beautiful skin: use plum leaf extract 2 times a day to clean skin. Warning: if you suffer from serious conditions and if you have to use medications, you should always check with your doctor how the natural products will affect your condition and whether it is safe to use such products. Plum tree leaf extracts and tea will cost you nothing. Let us make use of the power of natural plants!

Accessibility of natural resources

Most of us have direct access to natural resources even when living in big cities. We just need to open our eyes and re-evaluate what is available. Going for a hike, visiting relatives in the country side, taking a trip to a green region or simply walking in the park? Take advantage of what comes your way as leaves, blossoms, plants. I do not mean one has to tear of all greens, but picking flowers and greens in a wild flower field is not going to offend either nature, or somebody else.

Tea and extract of plum-tree leaves

Previous time, I shared the many uses of apple leaves which are extremely easy to pick.

This time, I would like to share how you can utilize plum-tree leaves.

You can pick plum-tree leaves all summer. Try this healing natural resource and keep using in winter by drying and making flavorful tea or extract.

There are no restrictions when using plum-tree leaves as tea. It is especially recommended for people who have sedentary way of living since it successfully removes toxins from our body, as well as boosts excretion of unnecessary substances.

Coumarins in plum-tree leaves prevent formation of blood clots in the blood vessels, relax smooth muscles in the blood vessels, therefore, dilating them, as well as have soothing and relaxing effect.

Finely chopped fresh plum-tree leaves are believed to facilitate healing of wounds.

Extract of plum-tree leaves with a small amount of vinegar can be used for cleaning deep or infected wounds.

By hair loss: Pour boiling water over plum-tree leaves, allow to steep for about an hour. Use for hair rinsing and apply to hair roots.

Stomatitis: for rinsing mouth, pour 200 g of water over 20 g of plum-tree leaves and boil for 15 minutes, cool, drain.

Gum disease: use 200 ml boiling water over 1 tablespoon of finely chopped or crushed plum-tree leaves, allow t steep for 3 hours, drain and rinse mouth 4 times a day.

It is possible to also use plum-tree leave extract in red wine: finely chop leaves, pour red wine over them, let stand for 3 weeks and then drain.

Extract of plum-tree leaves and/or plum blossoms can be used also for treatment of internal diseases. Such extract cleans the liver, normalizes and improves our metabolism, improves nervous system conditions and helps in cases of insomnia. Plum tree leaves are also used to treat kidney problems.

Plum tree leaf extract can be successfully used for treatment of bladder and kidney inflammations, as well as for cold related conditions: 200 g of water pour over 1 tablespoon of leaves and boil for 15 minutes on low heat (once boiled add boiling water to reach the initial amount of water); use 100 g 3 times a day before meal.

To maintain beautiful skin: use plum leaf extract 2 times a day to clean skin.

Warning: if you suffer from serious conditions and if you have to use medications, you should always check with your doctor how the natural products will affect your condition and whether it is safe to use such products.

Shaping your life and getting where you want to be Becoming a magician and shaper of your life involves watching signs, being in harmony with our surroundings and nature since they wish us well and are helping us getting where we want to be. We want to be healthy, and there are numerous ways to stay healthy and get help when we have problems. Problems indicate that we have moved away from the balanced model of life. That indicates our concerns, feelings of guilt, regrets and grief have started to manifest as physical or mental conditions. How did we get where we are? We could have invited our problems by refusing to be honest to ourselves. We may be missing the personal love aspect and we might be spending too much time worrying about everything. Living worry-free is certainly the path to take. If we admit we are stressed out most of the time, that is a definite sign changes must be implemented. First of all, changes have to be conscious, have positive and honest intention which harms nobody and they have to be directed towards our wellbeing. Our subconsciousness is smart By default, we have known and we know everything we need. We are mostly aware of the visible and touchable things, but frequently completely unaware of the hidden impacts of our thoughts, emotions and behaviours. Instead of helping ourselves staying on the right path, we start to fight different things, and become obsessed with the other ones, describing some of them as evil and some as healing. In fact, we are in place which we have chosen either consciously, or subconsciously. We have taken ourselves to this place where we are right now and we are in a situation which we have created. I could not accept this for the last two decades, but the universe is wise, and sooner or later, one finds what they are looking for. We have created our surroundings What we have is what have wished for and what we have been working towards. We have created the situation we are in and we are in place where our life has taken us. We have created the life we know. We have to become different when we want a different situation and different outcome. If we stay and live in one place long enough (5-10 years), the nature literally grows and brings to you all plants, fruits and vegetables you need. We know that we have subconscious cravings for some herbs, plants, flowers, fruits and vegetables and we feel annoyed by some other. The nature wants us to feel good, to pay attention to what it offers and to use what it gives us. Accessibility of natural resources Most of us have direct access to natural resources even when living in big cities. We just need to open our eyes and re-evaluate what is available. Going for a hike, visiting relatives in the country side, taking a trip to a green region or simply walking in the park? Take advantage of what comes your way as leaves, blossoms, plants. I do not mean one has to tear of all greens, but picking flowers and greens in a wild flower field is not going to offend either nature, or somebody else. Tea and extract of plum tree leaves Previous time, I shared the many uses of apple leaves which are extremely easy to pick. This time, I would like to share how you can utilize plum tree leaves. You can pick plum tree leaves all summer. Try this healing natural resource and keep using in winter by drying and making flavorful tea or extract. There are no restrictions when using plum tree leaves as tea. It is especially recommended for people who have sedentary way of living since it successfully removes toxins from our body, as well as boosts excretion of unnecessary substances. Coumarins in plum leaves prevent formation of blood clots in the blood vessels, relax smooth muscles in the blood vessels, therefore, dilating them, as well as have soothing and relaxing effect. Finely chopped fresh plum tree leaves are believed to facilitate healing of wounds. Extract of plum tree leaves with a small amount of vinegar can be used for cleaning deep or infected wounds. By hair loss: Pour boiling water over plum tree leaves, allow to steep for about an hour. Use for hair rinsing and apply to hair roots. Stomatitis: for rinsing mouth, pour 200 g of water over 20 g of plum tree leaves and boil for 15 minutes, cool, drain. Gum disease: use 200 ml boiling water over 1 tablespoon of finely chopped or crushed plum tree leaves, allow t steep for 3 hours, drain and rinse mouth 4 times a day. It is possible to also use plum tree leave extract in red wine: finely chop leaves, pour red wine over them, let stand for 3 weeks and then drain. Extract of plum tree leaves and/or plum blossoms can be used also for treatment of internal diseases. Such extract cleans the liver, normalizes and improves our metabolism, improves nervous system conditions and helps in cases of insomnia. Plum tree leaves are also used to treat kidney problems. Plum tree leaf extract can be successfully used for treatment of bladder and kidney inflammations, as well as for cold related conditions: 200 g of water pour over 1 tablespoon of leaves and boil for 15 minutes on low heat (once boiled add boiling water to reach the initial amount of water); use 100 g 3 times a day before meal. To maintain beautiful skin: use plum leaf extract 2 times a day to clean skin. Warning: if you suffer from serious conditions and if you have to use medications, you should always check with your doctor how the natural products will affect your condition and whether it is safe to use such products. Plum tree leaf extracts and tea will cost you nothing. Let us make use of the power of natural plants!

Plum tree leaf extracts and tea will cost you nothing. Let us make use of the power of natural plants!

You can read what apple leaf tea and extract can do for you in the previous article: https://inesepogalifeschool.com/2018/08/25/using-life-skills-and-recipe-of-powerful-health-boosting-tea-that-costs-you-nothing/

 

 

Using life skills and recipe of powerful health boosting tea that costs you nothing

Life skills

Many diplomas and grades, but no life skills? That is a very common issue. Lack of life skills leads to numerous problems: we are tested every single day. It is a wide area of not only good practical habits and best recipes for many situations in life, but also people skills and knowledge of things that help us get through illnesses and mentally challenging periods.

Let your experience guide you

Our experience and life skills are a huge treasure. We should have learned something about living and getting along with other people at some point in our life. We could have become expert with our daily tasks: cooking, cleaning, maintaining health, using natural products, staying fit, staying young and maintaining a good energy for life. Do not let somebody convince you that you know nothing and only internet couches and self-help books can tell you what you should and shouldn’t do.

You know who you are

We usually know who we have become by the age of 40 or at least 50. We have some idea of what we have achieved or not, what we would love or not and how we would like to continue. We know our pains, we have a long history of events behind us. We know our weaknesses and strength. We know how to overcome cravings and what has been left unresolved.

Happiness or joy?

While there is a big push towards happiness wherever we look, the main task of life is being satisfied, accepted, having pleasant memories and things we enjoy doing. I leave happiness for special moments, for special occasions, and I think having happy meals every day is a bit too much. If we have only vacations and no work days, we lose the feeling of being rewarded with time off and we get bored. If we eat only dessert, we do not perceive the special taste and delight of a dessert. That kind of thing. There are not only Sundays in our life. When we enjoy the things we do, we invite pleasure and satisfaction in our life leaving less time for disappointments and arguments.

My perfect cures and treatments

If you have a job that does not make you feel good, you should have at least something that takes care of your physical, spiritual and mental wellbeing. I do art and gardening to lift my mood. Art is a very specific area which has so many functions that it is difficult to even list everything great that happens when people start almost meditating when creating art. Gardening keeps one in good shape and puts clean, healthy food on our table.

Real versus improved, modified and altered

Less stuff from the health food store and more from your own backyard and garden is a huge advantage. The older I get, the more I learn about everything simple herbs and plants can do. If you grow your own vegetables, fruit and herbs you most likely not only water them, but also send them some good thoughts, you really enjoy turning seeds into plants, and plants into food.

Do you think there is a difference between an apple that has been grown in a garden for profit and with use of chemical fertilizers and pesticides and a very naturally grown apple from a tree to which you have sent your happy thoughts while it was blooming and ripening? The difference is as big as between day and night.

Beet we grow is good because it has balanced amounts of all nutrients. Beet powder might be advertised as wonderful, but it will cause imbalance in your body. Plant proteins are great, but they come in the right amount only in plants, especially plants which are almost alive and come straight from the garden.

Natural treatments

By using pills, powders and liquids that have been modified and altered, we are always at risk of destroying the balance between nutrients our body needs. Our body definitely does not need or consume properly synthetic vitamins and minerals.

Natural treatments can be a huge health boost.

Warning: if you suffer from serious conditions and if you have to use medications, you should always check with your doctor how the natural products will affect your condition and whether it is safe to use such products.

Using life skills and recipe of powerful health boosting tea

I will share with you a very simple recipe of tea that will definitely make some positive changes and cost you absolutely nothing, just a little work picking and drying apple tree leaves.

Apple leaves: have you ever tried this tea?

Apple leaves have more nutrients, vitamins and minerals than apples, and tea or extract in boiling water are easy to make.

We collect medium size healthy looking leaves either in early spring before blooming or in the fall after fruit has been removed. Apple trees grow almost everywhere, therefore, the main ingredient is easy to find and will cost you nothing.

Tea made of dried apple leaves is recommended for:

Anemia: use 200 ml boiling water over 1 tablespoon of dried, crushed apple leaves, allow to steep for 1 hour, strain, use 100 ml of extract with honey 3 times a day 1.5 hours after meal;

Cold, bronchitis, cough, hoarseness: use 200 ml boiling water over 1 tablespoon of dried, crushed apple leaves, allow to steep for 30 minutes, strain, use 1/3 of 200 ml glass 4-5 times a day. Such apple leaf extract kills germs and causes you to sweat;

Colitis, inflammation of gastrointestinal tract: 200 ml water pour over 3 tablespoons of chopped apple leaves and boil for 15 minutes, cool and strain. Use 2-3 tablespoons of extract before meals 4-5 times a day. Such extract can be also used to improve digestion, decrease the low density (bad) cholesterol level and to facilitate liver function;

Insomnia: cup of warm apple leaf tea will help falling asleep and relaxing;

Nutrient balance, lack of vitamins, depression, fatigue: if you are lacking vitamins, essential nutrients and minerals, apple leaf tea will bring you back to balance and increase energy levels, use approximately 1 tablespoon of dried leaves on 200 ml of boiling water and drink as tea a few times a day;

Skin problems, skin inflammation and wounds: washing face with extract of apple leaves in water will clear your skin, compresses will decrease inflammation and heal wounds faster.

Just like dried apple tea, apple leaf tea will warm you up and help maintaining good health during winter months and in any occasion when you need extra vitamins and minerals.

I know people who used apple leaves as tea or extract regularly for many years, and they reached 100 years while staying energetic and fit.

Using life skills and recipe of powerful health boosting tea

I will share more extra simple and effective health improving recipes as soon as I will have time again. Good luck!

There is no good way to move easy, and bye-bye Whitby!

The only good way is if you have enough courage, money and opportunity to trust the packing and moving somebody else. I am such a person who cannot trust sorting out my art and belongings to another somebody and especially to pack it.

We did that before: only one time the moving was acceptable, but all other times it was a disaster. I could find nothing for many months; the packing was done without any common sense and logical approach. It was simply bad, and it cost a lot.

I decided to pack everything mostly by myself, and so I did. It took me 3 weeks so far, and, unfortunately I am not completely done.

The limiting issue is pain, and when it gets too bad, I have to stop. I have to also stop every time when blood glucose gets low, and it takes a while to be back on track again.

I have been doing this quite slowly and meticulously, however, when I pack things, there is absolutely no problem finding and locating anything.

Well, the move is tomorrow, I am really tired of seeing boxes all over, as well as mess. That is mentally painful!

I will be very much relieved once we are finally out of here. We will have helpers tomorrow, and I am a bit worried about the weather, but it is what it is.

moving house

I have not disappeared from WordPress, I was just totally tied up with packing endless things, paintings are close 1500, all prepared canvasses, papers, drawings, sketches, templates and so on make another pile, not to mention all paints, extremely many brushes, pencils and pastels. I have abnormal amounts of clothes because I am also a fashion designer and I have been sewing since age of 12. Therefore, I have lots of fabrics, lots of books, lots of shoes, many purses, lots of smaller things and my husband has music room with numerous speakers, instruments and other musical and recording stuff.

It could not be easy, and it is not.

moving house

I was not happy in Whitby, Ontario. I arrived with huge hopes and great expectations, and nothing came true. It is a snobbish and ignorant place. Most people who walk or drive by every single day have never been here, not even once within 8 years. They most likely though what possibly could such a gallery offer? I had so many free events, but not much interest from the local community. Well, my immobility might be to blame, too, but that does not justify the cold and ignorance. I don’t really care now; I know that I will be better off in some more human and more engaging neighbourhood. I believe South Ajax will be fine. It is a great location, and I will have a garden.

 

I am taking off to Latvia next week, so, I most likely won’t be blogging much until I am back in Canada, in the middle of September.

moving studio

However, in the light of so much stress and work still ahead, I would love to wish everybody good time until the fall sets in and drop me a line!

How social are social media and how they get you

Why am I on social media?

If you ask me, I don’t know why I am on Twitter, on Pinterest, on Linkedin and on Facebook and a few other sites.

My blog and my website need some exposure, additional exposure, because not everybody is on WordPress. That might be one reason

Am I on social media because the widgets make my website look better? That is true to some extent.

Am I there because social medial make me socially engaged? No, that is not always true. They sometimes make me feel worse, more upset and more isolated. In fact, they frequently make me feel physically bad, too. That is, in the most direct meaning of this word. I find that many articles promote doubtful information, as well as push people to inadequate decisions.

There was a time at the dawn of social media activity when they were truly social. They were about real friendships and real lives.

“Social” cover for selling anything

It did not take too long for the socializing part to transition into advertising and selling features until social media became mainly about selling: opinions, propaganda, products, brands and trends.

As such, social media are the biggest consumerism promoter ever. Our task is actually straight the opposite: decrease junk, avoid consuming useless and harmful things and stay away from products that we never needed in the first place. Social media makes us believe that we will be considered a decent, happy and worthy person only when we have have all the attributes which are advertised.

Social media will impose trendy pictures, trendy products, trendy people and trendy opinions on you. I have even seen: health trends. Is there anything else as healthy and unhealthy? Does that mean that sometimes only mental health matters, but some other time: skin disorders, digestive, nervous or cardiovascular system?

I do not agree with trends. I suppose, trends disagree with me.

Consumerism

Consumerism is killing every one of us by taking away the air we breathe and turning it into polluted smog, it is taking away the clean drinking water and causing soil damage, it is making you into somebody who consumes what you never needed and what makes you sick and poor.

Internet selling is based on positive attitude, lack of education and greed. Greed is the biggest driving force of any so-called economic growth.

Is it economic growth or destruction of the planet in reality? If we did not interfere so badly with anything that the Earth has to offer us for free: natural air and water recycling and purification, clean and nutrient-rich soil, natural food that helps us staying fit and healthy, we would be fine. However, everything must be sacrificed for the economic growth which ironically leads us into more and more debt and disasters.

Offers and missed posts

While Facebook wants me to sign up for all kinds of services or products, I never see what my best friends and relatives have been up to. Facebook will persistently invite me to buy products and services which I do not require, which I am absolutely not interested in and which I do not need or like. That is all based on their algorithms and my likes which I place here and there.

The page I initially created as a Fan page, has transitioned into business page, and I wasn’t even sure I wanted that. I can see it is helpful, however, I have limited time and therefore, I most likely cannot reach the exposure I am expected to.

Facebook makes one pay

The thing I really have to wonder about is as follows: Facebook makes absolutely no distinction between a single person’s business (hence, they invite me to join my team, which would be I am joining me), and so they want to charge me the promotion fee for anything I put on that page. Huge businesses which have hundreds of employees and specific media managers and other executives can certainly use a specific budget for that. I think there should be a chance to show that one is working alone, maybe part time or something similar.

They make me compete with sites like Wayfair.com or Artfulhome.com and similar that sell art prints while I am selling only originals.

Dear Facebook! I am just a single person, who creates art, does painting, promotes, writes about art and teaches it also, and I need to cook, clean, do daily chores, do medical research and writing to support living, and every day has only 24 hours. If I wanted to be successful on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook advertising, I would not only need a lot of money to promote every post, every picture, every article and every event, but also a lot of time.

My taste disagrees with trends

I do not spend hours scrolling through trends or looking for viral videos. They are not trendy for me most often because my taste often disagrees with them. I disagree with dumbing the population more and using bad and harmful products for such purpose. I am against the noise everywhere. We need a break from music, a break from shows that do not teach anything, that have no content and make no sense, but stand out due to bad acting and simply bad screenplays.

Facebook does not represent me as a person correctly and it does not allow me to become socially more involved. If I do not promote everything and comment on everything, I am practically non-existent.

It is time we turn to critical thinking and sort out our preferences. The narrow-minded and to more consumption leading and directed I-need-it-all thinking has caused enough trouble. Enough is enough.

We have to stop being sheep to such a huge extent.

Social media pressure

I have come to conclusion that instead of allowing one to be true and honest, social media imposes on me their message. Their message is not always my message. It can be quite contrary, in fact.

So, Facebook when there is going to be time when I see everything I choose based on what I prefer as opposed to posts that have been directed to me depending on my age, gender and previous likes?

I once clicked on Artfulhome.com image because I was reading about some artist. They would not let me free afterwards. Wherever I go, the Artful home is trying to sell me something. The same about the flight: I booked it already. I booked it a while ago. Wherever I look, Facebook, Twitter, Yahoo mail or any other site, there are Flighthub advertisements. I did not even use the Flighthub.

If I click on a gardening image, Facebook will only put gardening posts in front of me. If I click on shoes or cosmetic product: that is all I am going to see for quite a while, until I do not spam that product everywhere.

I have moods, I have good days and bad days, I have curiosity, I have preferences and I have interests, and they do not match the Facebook algorithms. I am a human who is changing, who has personal opinions and, most importantly, who has a very personal taste.

Misleading social media

Twitter sends me trends and trendy tweets, as well as, lies about people who followed me because they did not. That is to cause a counter-reaction and feeling that I am actively using Twitter. I am not. The tweets are all automated and it looks nice in the widget area of my website, that’s all.

Pinterest does the same, they let me know that somebody pinned an image which I never put on any of my boards, Pinterest also has picked out topics for me. Well, Pinterest, don’t do that. I do have my own brain and my own opinions. That is already too much care, way too much care. If I looked at an old barn yesterday, it does not mean I want to look at old barns for the next few years. If I looked up a spinach recipe today, it does not mean I will be eating only spinach for a few months.

Facebook means a lot of wasted time for me. I would click on like when I am seeing a few posts of people who I have never met, but who I know distantly from the blogging community. I would leave a comment here and there if the post makes sense. Well, Facebook will show me posts only created by these people for quite a while, and, no, it will not show me what my daughter has been up to.

I am finding all the social media very superficial, very ignorant because they try to make me feel meaningless. Just compare yourself with influencers! Go ahead, compare!

My preferences

Well, I am not going to compare me with nobody. I do not care about lots of products just because I find them useless. I don’t literally care about powders, liquids, pills, gels, creams and other things which are advertised as miraculous. These miracles last only as long as there is a decent research done, and it proves rather the harming, not healing effects of this product.

Choose carfully

Social media should take a huge blame for poisoning and making people sick with bad quality, never tested products because while they do not endorse them, they make one see these products and the fake promises which come with such products.

There is a lot of pressure from the social media. A lot. The pressure wants you to subordinate the main mood and the main tone. If you do not, you are not a decent person. Why? There are guys who have nothing better to do: they use any chance to attack somebody. I posted once a comment that gluten-free products have absolutely no effect on people who do not have a celiac disease which is 100% scientifically true, yet, much denied fact because they want you to spend more on gluten-free and more processed products and imagine that you feel better. Somebody did not read it; they just noticed the first line and totally attacked me: what was I thinking because people who have celiac disease would be at such a disadvantage, etc. That was not at all what I was saying. They did not read, but they felt they had to attack me. So, it goes. One will understand only what they want to.

Social media and socializing

Do I see social media as a great socializing opportunity? To some extent, it is a place where to advertise. However, it is not a place where to find somebody or something. I want to see all variety of topics, all the multi-faceted life, everything which I might or might not like instead of “topics picked out for me”. Social media, you don’t know me, you do not want to know me and you do not believe I have my own brain which allows me making my own decisions that are based on my own experience, education and preferences.

I wish social media started trusting me instead of limiting my choices and free speech.

P.S. I had written this post already when I accidentally saw an interview with the high-tech insider Jaron Lanier on CNBC. It was about his book: Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now. This interview absolutely echoed what I do agree with. Too much advantage taking, definitely!

Link to article about him and his book: https://www.theguardian.com/books/2018/may/30/ten-arguments-deleting-your-social-media-accounts-right-now-jaron-lanier

Lilac, poem, and giving my blog a new direction

Lilac

 

Lilac blossoms blending with twilight:

Purple passionate scent of eternal,

Feeling of everything fading away.

 

Being beautiful without a purpose.

 

Lilac scent melts in the night air,

Twilight calm will fall down very soon

To end this moment with a period mark.

 

The day is so tired, too, time to rest.

 

The night sky uses blush, a lot of it

And the purple scent becomes a shadow.

It is always twilight in some places.

 

It is so complete with the lilac scent.

 

Morning finds birds sipping the morning dew

From tiny cups filled with sunlight pearls.

I paste this moment in my good memories folder.

 

Scents will evaporate, just like us.

 

My personal recovery experience

People, who read my posts, know that my health issues have been resolved completely thanks to my new skills and change of dominance in my mind..

I have learned a lot from my past experiences, and I intend to move on very healthy, with good reasons, not allowing anything to offend or disrupt my intentions.

I am doing much better because I rely on myself and I have learned that by becoming a much better person I am helping not only myself, but also people around me.

I will explore a wide variety of topics that relate to staying young, fit, healthy, stress-free, active and satisfied with my new life.

I am 60 this summer. Apart from the bad accident in 1992 and chronic pain because of that, I have been very fine so far. I took the previous experience as an important lesson. I realize that something in my behaviour, thoughts and intentions was causing it. I will use my experience as a stepping stone in order to bring more light in this life.

I have learned that being kind, nice and good to others and oneself is the most  important thing in our life as we attract the same attitude, the same type of people and the same type of response.

I pay special attention to these 5 most important aspects:

  • healthy weight and ability to be active and pain-free;
  • effective metabolism and well-performing digestive system;
  • daily and hourly stress relief and efficient coping mechanism;
  • natural, simple and rich nutrition that takes minimum time;
  • excellent memory and powerful cognitive function.

How nature is always our best advisor and supporter

Whenever something goes wrong, the easiest way to fix this problem is turning to the nature.

I have written already about that and I will be writing even more.

Gardening is a huge part of it. People sometimes say, they do not have enough space, yet, all the backyard and front yard consists only of grass and a few flower pots. Every vegetable and herb one grows in their own garden is about 100 times better than we can buy at a grocery store. Even with organic produce, we get vegetables, fruit and herbs which have been sitting on a shelf for a while. You will always know what your vegetable is consuming if you grow it. Tiny and small gardening does not require any weed killers and pesticides. We can live extremely well using just some natural things to get rid of bugs. However, they rarely happen in a small garden because you can prevent bad things from happening quite easily.

Nature is always on standby for our mental comfort and stress relief

No gym can ever compare to gardening and walking in fresh air. Many people take exercising way too far and cause premature wear and tear of their joints, tendons, muscles and ligaments. Our heart is also a very specific muscle that takes loads with its own attitude.

Upset mood and over-excited brain can be always fixed with breathing in fresh air and simply walking amidst the beautiful natural surroundings. Your brain loves bird songs instead of loud music; your thoughts get organized and are easy to sort out when the brain has enough oxygen.

How we look and how we dress

Aging does not mean one gives up the good looks they had when they were younger. Daily facial and body routine is a must. I am naturally blonde, so I have been using make-up from its early days, for about 45 years now. I do use some make-up even if I am alone at home. I do that to keep myself satisfied with the way I look.

Make-up helps to prevent skin diseases nowadays. There are wide choices and huge selection out there.

I learned sewing when I was 12. I did so because I always wanted to wear clothes that suit me, fit me and make me stand out. There have been periods when I have been sewing a new outfit every day, and there have been times when I have sewn something just a few times a year.

I am returning to more sewing and dressmaking again because the things one can buy at a store do not satisfy my demands and they are generally very low quality. It is also much more practical. We can recycle everything, but fast and cheap fashion is one of the biggest polluters on the Earth.

Artistic living for brain health and pleasurable life

If you read and follow my art website, you know that I have been a passionate art instructor for about 40 years, and I am as passionate about my own creativity. I started drawing at a very young age, and gradually added to that watercolor, acrylic and pastels. I became sensitive to oils, so, I had to forget about painting with oils. Drawing is a part of my excellent memory maintenance process. Having very well-performing visual memory definitely makes life easier. It always has: studying was easy, learning was easy and starting any new thing was easy.

Art, writing, journaling, outdoor drawing and painting: that is a daily feast for our soul. One can always find a suitable artistic way of self-expression. Art gives one the time for self-care. We forget about any problems while drawing and painting. We immerse ourselves into eternal and limitless.

Lilac, how to stay young

My Angel’s Day was a few days ago. The Angel my mom gave me is always watching over me.

Apple blossoms, how to stay young

The short spring brought us intense blossoming, the beauty was almost touchable.

How to stay young, nature, blossoming apple trees

I will definitely miss this old apple tree after we move to another place, it always greets spring with clouds of wonderful blossoms.

These are the themes I will be mainly focusing on.  Please follow me on Facebook

I will start a new artistic community page soon. This page will be primarily devoted to keeping our brain young and flexible with daily artistic challenges.

Please also check out my art website:  http://inesepogagallery.com/  It offers my own art and also numerous articles about how to start and keep drawing and painting.

I will miss the old lilac tree, as well, it has been my inspiration numerous times!

Lilac, poem, giving blog new direction

My plans are huge. I hope  everything goes according to plan, especially because we have to move soon to another place and that involves reorganizing life to be happy with the new beginning.

Spring: gardening for everybody

Waking up after a very long winter

We’ve got spring finally! It is the second spring-like day with sunshine and warm air. It feels so good!

I mentioned that in my previous posts: if you have a severely manifesting seasonal affective disorder, this is the time of the year you live for. This is the time when I wake up. All my vitals normalize: blood glucose becomes perfect, energy returns and mood goes up. This feels as if somebody opened a curtain to a previously hidden scene where everything happens. Life is beautiful once again.

The only sad note is the upcoming surgery in May. I am trying to work every day because I need everything done by that date: everything planted, watered and myself prepared. I could not walk for a long time after 2016 surgery, but I certainly believe I am much better prepared this time. I know by now that with the health care we have in Canada, the patient has to double-check everything. So, I have already prescriptions for post-surgery medications, I have a home-care nurse who never stopped attending me anyway, but it is going to be much more frequently. I usually cut my hair shorter because it is sometimes impossible and sometimes difficult to wash it.

Garden is awake, too.

Any place is good for gardening

This place is not what one could call a splendid living space. It does not have many of very necessary things to live easily and get chores done without problems. We do not have practically any storage and the place is also overloaded with my paintings. They are everywhere. I could fill up a few big galleries or at least sell some to be financially prepared for the post-surgery no income period. The wonderful thing is this garden, however. It wasn’t here before I arrived. I made it from scratch. I am good at making gardens and I have started at least some 10 of them, maybe more, because I moved a lot in Latvia and it is the fourth place in Canada. I always make a garden wherever I go. I do it always myself: prepare for hard work, find the best spots with the most suitable soil: less roots, good sunlight; get the shovel, remove the sod, and ahead I go. The rest is the easy part; digging can be a problem, especially with my previously broken joints and other fractures. It can be hard. I was walking around and working in the garden with infusion pump and its tube inserted in my vein the year before. However, I am extremely happy afterwards.

Gardening is a Latvian thing. I would say I do not know anybody back in Latvia who does not do some gardening: big or small. This means providing oneself with the best things possible: clean fruit and vegetables and also getting a lot of exercise in fresh air. In my opinion, that is the biggest plus: air smells like flowers, grasses and trees, sunshine, birds are literally pouring themselves out in songs, extreme beauty and such a pleasure to watch how everything grows.

Starting from seeds

I am seeding everything this year. I used to buy plants before, but it makes no sense. It is a lot of money, however, that is just one side of buying quite big plants. We did not have a good summer last year and I had to replant literally most of my garden. The plants that I bought at garden centers died off after I tried to rescue and revive them for numerous times, they got plant diseases and were doing simply bad. All plants I started from seeds, were doing extremely well, it felt the bad weather was not affecting these. I think: wherever money is made, something will be off. Basically, my own plants were much stronger and much more resistant to bad environmental effects. Therefore, I am starting from seeds everything.

How to place seeds in a seed starting container

I would advise to get some packs of early spring vegetable and herb seeds and put them in tiny containers in a very light and warm place whether that is already outside or inside. We seed one to tops 2 seeds per container. It can be difficult with small seeds, use plastic or metal tweezers. I do reuse all my seed starting containers from previous years (I have very many) or when I am still too short, I cut wrapping paper in longer slices and roll them around a small bottle or glass or any cylindrical object. Fold and press together the bottom and as you add seeding mix or soil, its weight will create pressure enough to keep the container just fine. It is ok to start in plastic containers (small yogurt containers or similar), but paper is better. Also: the parsley plants I started from seeds last year, survived winter and they will be just fine, so, I do not need new ones. They are already up. Chives are also up, although, it is just 2 days after freezing temperatures.

Nature awakes

Well, and the newborn rabbit had crawled out of the rabbit hole. It seemed it went back after a while, but I don’t know what to do with it because I will dig up that part of the garden, as well. It’s good I noticed the hole; otherwise I could accidentally injure somebody inside it. Even though rabbits, just like squirrels here destroy quite a lot of what I am growing, they are still so nice. What’s a little bit of lettuce compared to how nice they look! Squirrels can be nastier, but I discovered a way to plant so that they do not get to dig up roots. It is inexpensive and simple way and I wanted to sell this stuff after testing it last year because it is very safe, easy to apply and it doesn’t involve any chemicals and any substances, but did not get to that part.

Baby-rabbit looking for adventures

Everybody can do gardening

Gardening is so easy, absolutely everybody can do it. Think about the great healthy and clean things you get with a little bit of work! It is not a rocket science. Use common sense and planting instructions. Things like herbs grow on their own, literally, just plant or seed them. Choose the least sensitive plants at first. However, tomatoes and cucumbers are just fine if the plants are good quality and healthy and the weather does not do any absurd things. Good luck!

Did you know WordPress can block you from following?

I have been blogging since 2012.

I experienced some kind of disaster when I decided to move my art blog to a website last year or maybe a year before. Why did I go for all troubles which are associated with moving a large numerous pictures containing art blog to a self-hosted website?

Well, WordPress makes it account. It does not matter whether you have 1 blog, 2 blogs, 3 blogs or a website and blog: it is going to be one account. I had the art blog since 2012 and I started a lifeschool blog some time in 2014 I believe. I did not want to mix up my art, art classes and other artistic articles with the conclusions and observations I have made doing my medical research and writing for more than 3 decades. I thought it was a great idea. It actually wasn’t. Why?

Because WordPress makes it one account.

That means one blog is primary and visible and regardless of all my efforts, nobody knew the other blog existed, as well. The art blog had about 4 thousand followers by the time I moved it to a website because I was so tired of publishing articles which nobody ever saw.

The move was terrible since my files were huge, and, no, it did not go smooth as some instructions made me believe. Partially, that was because I chose the wrong host (based on a blogger advice, oh yes!). They sold me free theme and then I had to wait until refund rolls in since I wasn’t having much money. They tried to sell all kinds of things which I did not need or require, but having a website is expensive anyway: there are so many small parts that all cost. I am using the free theme and many free plugins, but I still have to allocate quite a lot of money for it. That is the history, so I have a blog, my lifeschool blog and my website, my art website.

Some time ago, I started to notice that I cannot follow anybody. I clicked once, I clicked twice, I clicked on like, that worked, but when I returned to the main website of somebody, I could see that I am not following them.

I believed it was some kind of a glitch. Probably temporary glitch, I assumed.

I let it slide since I was busy and that wasn’t the most important issue on my plate.

I found some really interesting website and a few blogs a while ago, and I got really angry that I cannot follow them. I copied the URLs here and there to find them again. Anyway, I asked the “happiness engineers” what was wrong. Oh well! I found out that I have been spotted by the system as somebody abusive follower last October. They told I was trying to attract attention and instead I should be writing a good content. That was very offensive. I believe these people who have read my stories, poems and articles, people, who check out my paintings, art instruction and advice for beginner artists definitely know that this is a unique content which takes me long time to create. I have actually never tried to follow somebody obsessively.

We all know that: system is system. System thought I was somebody trying to find followers and, thus, boost the visibility of my website and blog, and I do not believe that is true. WP said it was. I had last October followed many blogs in a short period of time. I tried to figure that out but couldn’t. I may have returned from Europe and after not seeing my blog and website for a long time, I could have responded to lots of comments and maybe followed some new fellow bloggers. I don’t know. Basically, nobody ever told me that. I never received any notification, any warning or anything. I believe you are not aware of that either.

I mean, I would have appreciated some notice, some suggestion or something. I am guessing that happened because I’m not that often reading the Reader, publishing posts, commenting, etc. since my health issues started 5 years ago. I might be doing all the commenting, following and liking job once or twice a month. Life is life. System isn’t human and it does not know that I have 1 hour only once or twice a month to do the following among other parts of blogging. Most likely, that’s how I got blocked out of following. Well, if I were so obsessed with following I most likely had noticed that sooner, not 7 months later.

I still remember how 6 years ago when I started blogging, I was advised to like, comment and follow other bloggers. Well, I take it personal and I felt upset. I’m not a new blogger; I’ve been on WordPress for 6 years. I am almost 60 and somebody who always follows rules and meets obligations. Always. I am aware that system is not informed about that.

I have to apologize to bloggers who may have thought I was ignorant or something. I lost some interesting blogs due to this for sure. Maybe we will meet again.

It also seems that system cannot get rid of definitely fake followers such as those who are ….outlook.com. I have deleted quite a few recently.

I wish, there was some advice for those who blog infrequently, just for a few hours a month and who try to do everything during these few hours instead of just blocking them out of following.

WordPress causes some problems

It does not feel right. We are sort of made to believe that website is a place where we can have a freedom to do things which we deem necessary, one of them being following other bloggers. Apparently, it is not the case. I believe before blocking somebody out of anything, especially if they pay money for their website that happens to be on WordPress platform, one deserves at least some warning or message, whatever. My personal situation is worse because I have a website and a blog. People who follow the art blog are not the same as these who follow the lifeschool blog. So, number becomes double. Dear system, you should be way more human! Other bloggers: be aware! System is watching, and God help if you follow too many people! I am afraid to follow anybody, to be honest. I believe a wrong person was punished here. They fixed it for now. They do not let one know what number indicates you are exceeding the normal following range: might be 5, 50 or 100. Who knows? I know that I never acted weirdly or obsessively.

Link to my art website for these who did not know I had it: inesepogagallery.com

From the past to the future

We all come from our past and we are all going to our future. The small while in between is our present where memories and dreams meet. That is also the short, sparkling moment when the art is born, poem is written and story told.

Our creative potential is huge and very often extremely neglected. It is quite often that people leave their artistic intentions to the moment when house will be paid off, kids have gone to study, garden is planted, retirement has started, recovery has happened and so on. It is supposed that only these things that cost a lot of money or pay a lot of money are worth doing and everything else can wait.

How many of you have advised your kids and your spouses or parents to pick a pencil or brush and pursue something simple and rewarding like drawing or sketching? Even if you have, how many of you have helped them with suitable and supportive environment for creativity to blossom? Kitchen table isn’t the place when the best art is done. In order to return to drawing and painting, art requires a specifically designed space. Basement is a bad choice if there is no daylight. Drawing and painting needs daylight, bright and undisturbed, just as we do.

I have seen the statistics for the recent years: the potential of keeping memory flexible and brain active is not in favor of most people, especially these over 50.

While everybody knows all the risk factors for absolutely any disease which there only exists: overweight and obesity, heart and blood vessel damage, high blood pressure, diabetes (these are all body stressors), lack of exercise or any movement, bad, highly chemical or modified food, especially if it has been already processed, artificial food, food with added or removed ingredients, GMO sources of food, contaminated water and air, alcohol and drug use, smoking either tobacco or cannabis because of toxins that occur in burning process, abnormal stress levels with zero coping ability, long-term stress without a rescue plan and social isolation and self-removal from any social activities and mental states that involve huge anxiety, severe depression and severe, systemic disorders, very few people ever pay any attention to the brain fitness and brain cell exercising. Meditation is fine, but it is supposed to make one rather stress-free than activate the brain to the impossibly high activity level. We are talking about an active brain involvement, the state when we would say: the brain is steaming.

If you are doing everything right, but you rather think it is better not to worry about learning and studying or scientific research after you are out of school, you are so wrong. Only very active brain which is used to  tackle challenges and make thousands of decisions, as well as resolve problems is able to create new brain cells, at any age actually.

In one of my previous articles I wrote about the trial that compared physical exercise group, group which did crosswords and similar brain games, and the group that started doing drawing, although, students did not even seem to like or be interesting in drawing from reality. The drawing group excelled and outdid both other groups in all target indicators.

Why is that? It is because when we look at some object and try to recreate it with all dimensions on a flat paper or canvas we use all of the brain. We use all kinds of mechanisms and synaptic pathways to get the job done. While it is something meditative and pleasurable, it is also very challenging and a very active process. If you do it in a group, you add socializing to this activity.

Healthy brain

We all come from the past and we are all heading to the future. This is done much better by maintaining our cognitive abilities, memory and brain flexibility. The one thing that means a lot more than all the money and power on the Earth is our brain. Losing our brain, we lose everything. Therefore, let us do something useful and keep it flexible, sharp and well-performing. You do not know how to get started? Please find all kinds of advice on my art website which is solely devoted to art, creativity and learning drawing, sketching and painting: http://inesepogagallery.com/

Becoming an observer

It sometimes feels as if everything is simply flowing by.

There are lots of small distractive things to deal with, and they pretty much keep me away from doing something more meaningful.

Then, there is a feeling of pointlessness.

At a young age we are under impression that we have enough time to do whatever we will choose, to achieve whatever we have decided to and to engage in all kinds of undertakings that eventually lead us to the goal: a good, honest, happy and abundant life. This includes different things for different people. Some want children and some do not, some love studying and some would rather not, some of us see the importance of roots and family and some believe that family is holding them back.

When I was twenty, it felt like 60 years is eternity away: it seemed I have plenty of time to enjoy, to explore, to pursue real life goals and to correct mistakes which everybody makes.

My life involves much unexpected turns, very bad accident that changed everything 25 years ago and after that all a completely unexpected relocation across the ocean. I might not been ready for that. However, I am somebody who goes for an adventure or opportunity if there is one.

Years between 2004 and 2010 were wonderful, so full with life, so full with discoveries. I had huge expectations.

When I got health issues in 2013, lots of things slowed down and became hard to continue. I realized suddenly that nobody can ever regain the energy and the willingness to jump onto new beginnings we do so naturally at 20 when we pass the 50 line. That was the time when I had to push myself extremely hard to accomplish just simple everyday routine tasks, yet, I managed that.

I have become more an observer than an active participant.

I have always been a creator of situations, much engaged in the social scene. I was a high school teacher and college lecturer meeting literally hundreds of people every day. I loved my role as a smart, intelligent and well-educated person.

The one thing that matters to me is learning, studying and keeping the brain extremely busy and active.

I have always admired the brain power, the ability to think and find solutions, to make decisions and to act upon them. I do that still, I learn every single day. The medical writing job requires that. I am certainly thankful for the huge knowledge in any health-related matters due to this.

However, I miss the social engagement. I feel lost. Once you see that nobody actually needs you, you start to experience feelings of being abandoned. It seems that the big goals are also getting crashed. I have become a stranger in my native country and I am still a total stranger in the country to which I immigrated to.

This might be an issue of acceptance. I am quite frequently unable to accept some things here. I will never understand how mediocrity gets to the top because of their wealth. I will never understand how it is possible to idolize and adore some fancy person to the extent that people want to dress like that person and look and speak like that person.

I will never understand over-consumption which is the cause of most of our issues. I will never understand how people are lied to and cheated because of somebody making bigger profits. They get even praise for poisoning other people. That is awkward.

I am for fairness, truth and open-mindedness. Truth is not loved. Truth is frequently escaped using different means, would these be drugs, alcohol or convincing oneself that everything is great while it is far from that in reality.

I used to be a fashionista. I learned sewing very early: at 12. Ever since, I have designed and sewn plenty of designer-quality outfits not only for me, but for hundreds of other people, as well. I stopped doing that also because of pointlessness. How much does one really need? When I paint, I cannot wear anything good because it will have paint spots all over anyway. Fast fashion made it impossible to buy any good quality shoes or jeans or similar things. I just simply refuse to buy more low quality, made in China outfits. They are made of bad materials, they do not last and they do not fit either.

One more aspect became meaningless. So, most of them have.

It is more difficult to stick to the true you when there is no actual demand for being the top you. I am currently an observer. I will wait for a while yet until the troubles settle down to figure out the next steps. Where do I go from there? I don’t know yet. It is a process of re-inventing me. Will that be a better me? I do not know that either.

I do realize that these feelings might be caused by late and delayed spring. It has been a very long winter, and that can affect anybody with the seasonal affective disorder. I remember me hating winter ever since I was a tiny kid. That never went away. I cannot live normally in winter. I have lost many years of life due to winter. I believe these of you who also experience strong seasonal affective disorder know this very well: one only regains energy and willingness to be active once the weather turns warm and sunny again.

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