guardian angel – Inese Poga Life School

In the small while between my previous post and now, the whole world has changed. Just a month ago, nobody would believe the abnormal tragedies which are happening right now. Such disrespect for human life, such absolute disregard for the rest of the world! CNN news told: nobody expected this Russian invasion to happen. Wrong: people, who have experienced Russian invasion before, were certainly convinced that it doesn’t stop with demonstration of power and capabilities of armed forces. Who were they kidding with announcements of military exercises while drawing immense numbers of troops around Ukraine? Not me, I can say that much.

The warfare also takes place close to Latvia, Latvia has a 214 km long border with Russia and approximately 173 km long border with Belarus. It runs partly along the Daugava river. It was announced that Belarus has “de facto” given up its border with Russia, meaning, willingly and “de facto” joined Russia which was to expect. The current situation isn’t about Ukraine alone. Playing with the fire is probably a good description of this moment. When you are dealing with a power-driven aggressor, who seems to pretty much lost his mind and is ready to sacrifice not only lives of other nations, but also Russians, many of whom are against the war, against totalitarianism and unfair invasions, the threat becomes global. At this point, it feels like the world has to be on one side or the other: if you are not with, you are against.

I keep exchanging information with my family in Latvia daily. They see sooner what’s happening in Ukraine and they know people who are involved directly in fighting the Russian army over there. Can one be cautiously and moderately opposing an insane powerful aggressor like Putin? Absolutely not. The input should have been faster, more urgent and more decisive. It’s too late to discuss the delays now. It is remarkable, though, how much financial restrictions can do. Cutting off the finances will have an impact, also inside Russia.

Prayers are great, but you beat power with more power since they don’t understand other language. Let’s see how the talks between Russia and Ukraine end and what happens in the next days. I’ve been thinking how 10 bucks helps a lot more than simply wishing somebody well.

My blog is not about politics. It has never been. I became abhorred to politics during more than half of century while Latvia was occupied by Russia and within the Soviet Union. We hoped the freedom will be never again threatened by superpowers.

Back to Ontario, Canada. If you read my art blog, you know that I am packing and preparing to move my art studio and house again. That’s what happens in a greed-driven economy. Huge number of houses will be for sale this spring. Statistics show that housing prices have gone up 10 times between 1996 and now. The houses themselves are not any better, at least in this particular, previously very industrial area: bad drywall design with small windows, low ceiling and tiny rooms which honestly should be just one decent size room. We are moving to an older building which lacks some conveniences, but has character and huge backyard. It is also a commercially zoned property.

*The most recent painting, and most supplies are in boxes now*

It will be very problematic to find a place for everything. The biggest room goes to the art studio, and there’s hardly anything left for all other necessities. We might be suffering during the hot and humid summer days and we might feel restricted because of extremely tight space, but for now, this is the best solution in a bad situation. It takes me about 1 month to sort through and pack everything and about as long to re-arrange and unpack everything. We intend to be in the new place by mid-March, and I should be ready to start art classes in the first weeks of April.

I don’t have much time for social media or advertising, straight the opposite, in fact, but it would have been great to sell a few paintings. As you know, any moving comes with big expenses. It’s been 3 years without much interaction in the art studio. Who can see my art online? Very limited number of people. Among them, almost everybody paints and sells art. Do the math.

*I live for the spring, for the moment when nature wakes up*

The globe is divided. Stay on the right side! I wish for a clear spring sky over any place, any country. Will that come true? Time will show. For now, we are all in this: supporting the honest fight, supporting the freedom and future from bad intentions and actions. History has shown that the good guys frequently win at the end. The price they have to pay for that is another matter. It’s not enough to hope and pray now. This situation requires active involvement. Far as you may be, nowadays weapons and cyberattacks have immense reach. Most of us, will get through this unscathed. Ukraine is a different story, and we will stay on their side as much as possible. Great to see the support, donations, all kinds of aid.

Meanwhile, I’m going through my personal issues. Winter always makes me sick, quite literally. Therefore, I’m trying to make use of any day which allows staying pain-free or almost pain-free. It would be strange to hope that pain goes away completely after breaking and crashing practically all major bones which are in the body. I do celebrate my second birth around this time because it was quite a miracle to survive the injuries, although it’s already 30 years since that happened. I do remember mom as it’s been 3 years since her passing. Last day of February: I’m happy it’s over. I never liked winter and always lived for the wakeup in March and April.

*Never without flowers, they inspire the best in us*

Be well wherever you are! Thanks for reading if you did!

If we knew where we fall, we would put down a pillow to save us.

Sometimes, the guardian angel does this for us: I mean these situations when somebody is very unlikely to make it, but they do.

Painting by Murillo, public domain image

There are moments when we have done everything we could, but the disaster happens regardless of that because we are at a wrong place at a wrong time.

The sad consequences of life threatening accidents

I am a survivor of such an accident. I believe I survived due to my spiritual and mental strength, fighting power and love to life, but for the main part: due to the knowledge and devotion of the treating physician. There was 24/7 monitoring and all 9 surgeries went well.

One is never completely new after being fixed. Whatever our injuries, they leave after-effects, and they can be devastating. Chronic pain and anxiety are just one side of such post-accident experiences.

However, it is not that we cannot prevent the regular daily troubles by putting down such a pillow: preventing accidents, injuries and diseases from happening.

The unforgiving negligence

The reality is such that if there is chance for something bad to happen it most likely will. Placing hot items on the edge of any surface is lack of caution; that refers to hot coffee cups and other dishes with boiling hot liquids. Leaving harmful liquids in inappropriate containers or easy to access places is dangerous. I witnessed while practicing at hospital how a man had gotten major stomach injuries because he had been preparing pickled fish and also was having a glass of drink at the same time. He accidentally drank the highly concentrated vinegar by taking a big mouthful from the glass. Kids use to grab anything and try its taste whenever something is available for them to reach: kids have been hospitalized with laundry soap intake, vinegar and alcohol intake, not to mention after eating a lot of strong medication. In those, cases prevention would have been easy: just do not leave anything out there and within their reach.

Drunk driving and aggressive behavior of addicted spouses and friends

The major and absolutely preventable accidents are caused by driving drunk or high. Human perception changes to abnormal extent under the influence of alcohol and substances that alter brain chemicals. It’s needless to say, nobody should ever do that, but we are witnessing this again and again, and there is no end of people who put their and other peoples’ lives at risk.

I spent almost a year in a hospital. I had quite a few fellow patients, and their stories were sad. A young woman across my bed was thrown out of window from the 5^th floor by her husband. It’s hard to describe the feelings she was going through when she woke up after surgical treatments. Some accidents mean: the one who was super healthy, will be partly or completely immobilized for life and having major health consequences. However, when I had already recovered to some extent, I went to see her, and guess what? She was back with her offensive, aggressive, drinking husband, and I could see they continued the same what had been the cause of her very long hospital stay. I asked her: why didn’t you go somewhere else? Anywhere? She said she couldn’t walk and there was no place for her to go or work and so she couldn’t support herself. Well, this wasn’t any better or easier.

The fact of the matter is that the aggressive behavior when it is caused by addiction to substances rarely changes. The only hope would be in case somebody gives this up completely. However, there is always a risk of relapse with such people.

I have seen and read a lot of stories how people can recover from addiction, but that happens only when that person genuinely wants it, is ready for it and can replace the addiction with something that fills up the emptiness which occurs after they have given up their terrible habit. Art groups, social clubs, interest groups, sports and church groups are very good thing to start with.

She needed a new face: victim of drunk driving

The other woman in my hospital room didn’t have her real face any more. She was driving and got hit by another car; it was nose-to-nose crash at a high-speed, so the upper part of her car got literally taken off. Doctors restored her face as much as it was possible which meant creating a new nose and putting in place cheek bones, jaw bones and implanting new teeth. When she was that far that she could look at herself in a mirror, she was in shock. There was a scary silence for a while. It’s not me, she screamed. What do I do now, nobody will recognize me and my kids will not believe it’s me? Her kids were 4 and 6, two girls. They had kept these kids away from hospital for a while, just to get more time and to put off the unpredictable and potentially upsetting first time meeting in person. That couldn’t go on forever, so kids were taken to the hospital to meet their mom approximately 6 months after the accident. Everybody was crying: this lady, her daughters, every doctor and every patient in the room. At that moment, girls did not recognize their mom, they couldn’t believe and accept that was her because that was virtually a completely different woman in the hospital bed, not the one who was residing in their memories. It took many meetings and long time until everybody found peace of mind and re-established their relationship. This tragedy was caused by a drunk driver.

Public domain image

Physical and mental abuse: things that cannot be straightened out

People also usually do not take into account that racial, national and cultural diversities can be a problem exaggerating and issue causing aspect. Although, we are all humans, our background is very distinctive. Things that are very acceptable and very appropriate in some country, community or family, can become a subject of never-ending arguments, and eventually cause the relationship to go toxic.

As we were diagnosing patients in the urgent surgical care department at a hospital, the professor who was taking us around warned before we entered an intensive care unit: “This lady didn’t listen to her parents who told her not to engage with this particular man who is in custody at the moment. Dear girls, do not marry people who have completely distinctive background!”

The sight was extremely shocking: there was practically no face or something one could recognize as a human face, hence, it was some kind of extremely swollen dark blue, black and purple-read smashed raw meat. Eyes were not visible; they were somewhere deep under the swelling. The person could not speak, swallow anything, and not even water because of broken jaw bones. The professor lifted sheets and, as far as it was visible, the body was in exactly the same condition: bruises, hematoma at many spots, swollen limbs and torn wounds, huge five-finger imprints in bright dark purple color around the neck told that she was also been choked. Stabbed with sharp, but luckily not too wide kitchen knife which occurred to be of a flexible metal and that practically had saved her from more serious internal injuries. Her recovery took about 18 months and included fraction cure, sutures, treatment of neuroses, anxiety, abnormal physical pain and series of restorative surgery. They were successful with fixing her, and this was a case which had a happy end. Not all do.

Her husband came from a Russian family with a long history of alcohol abuse, imprisonment, family fights, strange concepts about marriage and trust, and he used to interpret the reality in a way that was severely distorted by prison moral. He was pathologically jealous, and every episode of alcohol use in excess caused him to become extremely aggressive. The closest target was always his new wife who was a young student, just relocated to start studies at the university. How do such people meet? Easy. At a bar, at a concert, and these aggressive manipulators can pretend being the nicest people on the globe when they want or have to.

Cutting off a toxic relationship

We should listen to people who care about us and warn us. We should take into account the harsh reality and advice that comes from people who have gone through hell. Do we? I did not listen to my parents and suffered for 19 years. Why? Who knows, I believed I could fix and straighten out anything. My daughter initially did not listen to me and my parents. These toxic relationships are lost time, it is time we have stolen from ourselves. Thankfully, my daughter and I found great, rewarding relationships after years of struggles. These valuable relationships contribute daily to our well-being and personal growth.

We have to learn cutting off a toxic relationship straight where it starts, not allowing to evolve into something more serious and destroying. I don’t mean only spouses and closest relatives. We have to avoid and, if necessary, immediately walk away from toxic relationship that hurts, abuses and exploits. That is the best prevention from any more serious mental and physical suffering. It is not worth it. There are so many nice people out there, and it makes sense to keep reaching out for them.