Featured Finding cozy in retirement

Finding cozy

It was plus 19 degrees Celsius during the last week of winter. To be honest, I cannot recall when the end of winter has been so warm and sunny. Brilliant blue sky stretched over us, there was no wind, birds waking up, chirping, getting go with their spring songs. Pure pleasure after the long and nasty winter we had in Canada this year. Well, and it’s cold, rainy and not spring-like today with winds folding the tall trees in half.

Therefore, I make myself cozy. Actually, the first thing my grandson said when he entered our place after arriving from Europe for Christmas was: it’s so cozy and beautiful here! That refers to numerous paintings on our walls and the all-winter blooming room plants since the furniture is scarce and very functional. Cozy has always meant a lot for me.

Small spaces are great to live in, except one has to be extremely organized and conscious about everything which I am. It isn’t complicated: you always put everything back into place where it belongs. That also means that absolutely everything has its place. Watching how people manage that over many decades, I have come to conclusion that this skill comes from early childhood.

My background is so different from what people born in Canada or in the States have experienced! It was such time, and it was such place where my life started that you probably wouldn’t be envious. I had about 2 toys – one blue truck and one doll, a large one. I spent my time mostly on my own because we didn’t have daycares or nursery schools. However, I had numerous fantastically illustrated children’s books, and that is where my first inspiration for art comes from.

I was very often outdoors exploring the neighborhood. The closest farmhouse was about 1.5 km away. We had fields and pastures all around, one narrow road leading to the main road which was gravel at that time. The closest small town to which I walked since I was 6, was about 3 km away. Yes, we walked it when the snow was up to my waistline, or during rain, wind, heat. Mom rode a bike to work; dad had a motorcycle. They worked 6 days a week, long hours, too.

My sister is 4 years younger, so it took a while since she could join me playing. Playing I wasn’t a lot. I got my only doll for watching the small calf we had. My best friend was a wonderful dog we had; he accompanied me during exploration walks and saved from a snakebite once. I was weaving baskets with my grandmother, when I was about 6 years old, helping in the huge garden, picked berries, raked leaves, helped cooking. I also learned to recognize all wild and garden plants around this time. That included wild flowers which I literally adored.

I was the one sewing dresses for dolls later, building toy houses, building small toy apartments with all furniture and everything that belongs. I used simple materials which were in the shed and whatever I found useful. Sister could play with my creations since I liked to make things and not play. I drew an ABC which taught my sister reading way better than the usual ABCs which were available. I always created what I needed since you couldn’t buy anything at the store. I was always a teacher from a young age.

Great advantage of my childhood was that we never used or needed any medications, just herbal tea here and there. Well, there weren’t actually any drugstores around either. All food we consumed was grown and produced by ourselves. Once again, you could buy hardly anything at the store. Up to this day, I don’t like chocolate or ice cream too much, in fact, I rarely eat them, just a tiny bit on rare occasions. It’s also so that this ice cream doesn’t come close to the natural ice cream of my childhood.

So, from very early on, I learned what is cozy, what is nicely organized and clean. I dare saying that many of our habits which either disturb us or help us, come from early childhood. That refers to not only always keeping our space clean and neat, but also to our eating habits. I still don’t drink Cola or Pepsi since I never had them until I arrived in Canada at the age of almost 50. Basically, you cannot like what you never had access to.

Cozy for me is warm, welcoming and comfortable environment, not necessarily luxury and over the top appliances and the likes. Cozy is the fantastic energy which comes from my original art. Cozy is plants – blooming or just having green leaves. Cozy is an amazing book, hot tea or coffee and homemade food. Food which doesn’t make one sick but is made with love so one feels it in every bite.

I wish you a fantastic spring! Maybe we will need less cozy now and more outdoorsy energy. All of that is wonderful. The snowdrops are in bloom, and daffodils are sprouting.

Featured Deep dark red African violet

It takes a lifetime to understand what you want

It’s time to pick up myself and get out of the wintery lethargy. It feels today that we are definitely getting closer to spring. It’s like waking up from an extremely long snooze. I didn’t enjoy winter even as a kid. It is tolerable until Christmas, but when the days are so bleak, dull and grey, I have no desire to do anything. I still painted, spring especially, and read numerous books.

Generally, I am like a tree. I shed my beautiful leaves in the fall, with huge regret so, I must say, and I am overwhelmed by the dread of the nearing winter. At this moment, end of February, I am starting to feel that life juices will be running through limbs soon. Once the buds start to open it’s not long till the first leaves and blooms come. Then it’s up to maturity and harvest in the last warm sunshine. That’s my natural cycle of the year.

While this place where we reside isn’t very suitable for growing anything indoors, I do that nevertheless. There are plants which do fairly well and even very well in half-light. Some plants can survive without any direct light. I do love my African violets; they have a small extra space at the South looking window. It’s a tiny space, but enough for my violets. The purple one is 20 years old. Isn’t that amazing?

What do I want from life at the moment? More stability and predictability, less worries, less pain. What happens to the huge goals? Well, I have come to conclusion that doing one’s best is definitely enough. My goals are very realistic; sell more paintings, give more art classes, make a decent living out of that. That’s within my reach and pretty much happening already.

All the best and thanks for visiting my blog which was left unattended for a while!

I will return

I will return

I will come back

When leaves are turning golden

When heavy clouds shed never ending tears

I will return

When we will all be older

And frosty winds are threateningly near

I will be back

When tabletops are breaking

From heaviness of fruit, we worked for so hard

I will return

to meet you halfway to the sunset

To stay in touch, to be on guard

Fruit of garden harvest

That’s for sure, I always come back. I wrote these verses about 5 years ago, but it’s a suitable moment, and I decided to publish them. While this year hasn’t brought much pleasure, I am better now, and, therefore, doing a few things which I still assume as being important for me.

The attraction of WordPress for me was always the ability to interact with other bloggers and people, who appreciate what one writes, paints, has discovered and deems meaningful enough to present their fruit of creation to others. It seems, at least from my art website, I won’t see what other bloggers post because there was no Reader. I see the eyeglasses which indicate the Reader only on this blog. It might work, and it might not.

Vegetable garden harvest

Anyway, the weather is telling us that fall storms and chilly winds will take over here soon. Leaves are falling already, I must admit, that’s early for Ontario. We haven’t had any bright colors yet, and I suppose, that’s still ahead. I am quite happy to be back and sharing my thoughts again. I certainly posted on my art website also, and you get there from the sidebar of this blog where I list the most recent posts.

I hope we will stay in touch!

Steps to good life

Keeping up with necessities

Everything happens at once during the spring: it was white snow and grey view just yesterday, but the sun is out today, and it starts feel like the winter is over. Time flow has such acceleration these days that keeping up with everything is quite impossible. We literally run through days in order to catch the feeling of fulfillment and awareness of our own worthiness. We are looking for proof to justify our existence. Each day is a test – how well did you manage?

Nothing happens on its own

Work is an inevitable part of life. I would add to that – physical work, sometimes tedious physical work, and mental engagement and tiring mental work, nobody cancelled that. We all hope for the good life when everything is passed to us on a tray and we effortlessly enjoy the smooth ride. It’s great, I won’t deny that because when you do not fight for the basics, you can do something meaningful, important and fulfilling. Yet, for most of us, it’s work, work and more work and hardly any weekends. By far, that’s not the worst which can happen.

It’s your decision

It’s not fate or God. We stand behind every decision we ever made consciously or subconsciously. The path we took or avoided has led us whenever we happen to be. It sounds very harsh and, in many cases, it also is. The simple way to be satisfied with the life you have is having understanding that we are responsible for the past, today and the future. We do what we have to do and don’t dive into self-pity. It’s easy to feel sorry for ourselves and we all have done that at some point in life.

Worth pursuing

I do work a lot. I’m not a workaholic, but I am very aware of my responsibilities and duties. Let’s face it – having no physical work to accomplish can be worse than skipping your gym visit. Humans are built to engage in daily physical activities, and they have always done so. We have now numerous devices, gadgets and helping hands to avoid doing anything physical. However, there’s direct, very visible, tangible and enjoyable result with chores and outdoor work. Organized shelves, clean and tidy rooms, happy house plants and neat outdoors – such a pleasure not only for eyes. Physical work is essential for our wellbeing.

The key is to enjoy

I enjoy physical work as much as mental work. Thankfully, I am always busy and I cannot recall any time when I had to complain about boredom. You know what happens to idle minds. I also very much prefer garden work, cleaning and other such necessary tasks to the gym. To be honest, after the life-changing accident 30 years ago, any idea of exercising was out of question. I’m in a good shape, never had any extra weight and feel quite well. Thanks to work.

Work or entertainment?

Is endless work the answer to having a meaningful life? Definitely not since having rest is as important as being busy. However, entertainment isn’t an answer either. Entertainment doesn’t defeat boredom, being upset and unhappy. Variety of tasks, responsibility and self-awareness is much better answer. We do not live only on bread and entertainment. We do live to achieve the best outcome for our current situation. The mental discomfort starts when there’s nothing to do. Aimless analyzing leads to no result. Being busy is good as opposed to wasting time just watching how others live.

Getting things done

So, welcome spring! So much to do. And we should feel grateful for each day which comes with new challenges and new accomplishments. Roll up your sleeves! Eyes can get scared by seeing all the overwhelming amount of work, but hands get it done. No better time than now. Spring starts a brand-new cycle, why not to enjoy the physical tasks and efforts? They might feel tiresome and tedious at first, but every accomplishment brings more satisfaction.

Pictures are not that bright this time, well, it’s quite grey outdoors. They show what’s happening in my park right now.

Thanks for reading and I wish you not too much hard work and lots of nature’s hugs and kisses!

October

October is full of mysteries, secrets and wisdom. The October wisdom comes from centuries surviving the unpleasant silence of nature, from always winning the light back in spring. October is a month of poets and philosophers – what else can make us think so deeply about things which go away, but return again and again?  In the Northern hemisphere, October becomes our sunlight preserve, the last colorful warmth before we wake up with November chill.

October walk

We could be walking endlessly
In peaceful sunlight
Submerging ourselves
In the sparkling gold of falling leaves,
Breathing fall fragrance and colorful air.
We could be walking endlessly
In this stunning brightness
Under the transparent, distant sky.
Shadow obediently marching behind.
If it wasn’t for darkness and freezing nights.
If it wasn’t this place where we are now.

What about the garden?

It is going to sleep. Blooming plants are stuffed indoors, not that there’s enough space, but they will survive. About half a year is all it takes, but they’re resilient just like we must be. I still have tomatoes, parsley, dill, kale, green onions, chives, last sweet peppers and basil. When the temperature drops below zero Celsius, only parsley and kale will be available for a while. Nature needs a break, plants are done for now, and hopefully, the winter is mild.

What about us?

We wrap ourselves up and hide indoors, too. Thankfully, there are soothing days when the sun sends us warming rays. We pray there’s peace on the Earth. Is it likely? Probably not soon, but at some point, we must come to our senses. Even those who misuse power. The weather has become quite unpredictable, but we cannot complain too much. Most storms passed us so far. Candle time is coming, more self-exploration, more art creation, although, the light is not sufficient.

Balance

All is good enough for now. It can always be better; it can always be worse. It’s nice to be in the middle of the neutral grey, not giving in into black, not being obsessed with only white. Balance is about that: the neutral middle. Let’s hope we get more sunlight this October here, in the small town in Ontario. Frosts are ahead, but the colors will last for a while yet.

Thanks for reading if you did!

Time is a river

Time is a river, but once one is over 60, it feels like a waterfall. At least I experience time like that. Maybe it’s because everything takes longer to get done, maybe it’s because the flow of time has accelerated over the last years, but I’m very sure it feels as if the week consists of just a few hours. It was Monday, and all of a sudden – it’s already weekend. I was absent from this blog for quite a while.

Love the leaves and blooms!

I’m simply too busy catching up. The world has also changed with all major events rushing over us. The seasons have changed. We have fall season here in Ontario already, and I jumped over the summer completely. Half of the summer I was suffering from bad pain due to an accident and so I couldn’t do anything else, but read. As you know, I read only real books since I would love to spend no time online and no time staring at screens. I’m not addicted to devices and I use them only if absolutely necessary.

Cucumber blooms, delicate shape, beautiful color!

Nothing much has happened also during the last 3 months. I’m still just at home here, haven’t seen anybody, haven’t been anywhere. The garden I started in spring was doing ok, but we basically had no rain, none whatsoever all summer. Well, there were too many cucumbers and I have too many tomatoes at the moment. I don’t feel like making preserves this year and I also don’t have jars.

Summer colors

The internet and everything being online has made life extremely complicated. Dealing with paperwork isn’t easy and I plain and simple hate paperwork, just like many other people. However, I don’t think there are many people who didn’t get married because of paperwork. I managed that, back in Europe, and I was actually very happy later that I didn’t get married. It’s because the distance of time revealed the true face of that person.

Black-eyed beauties

The other thing I absolutely cannot take is meetings. It’s supposed to be great attending meetings, but I just dislike them so much that if you want to never see me again, just invite me to some meeting. This is because during the soviet times, up to 1991 while Latvia was in the USSR, we were always in meetings, preparing pointless and useless reports, plans and schedules. The paperwork was overwhelming and, I have to admit I have missed probably a lot of good opportunities since they required plenty of paperwork. I simply do not apply to shows, art associations, exhibitions and so on.

Middle of summer

Living is tight for most people nowadays. My ability to do numerous things on my own helps. Being a good cook helps, too. However, it’s been so much cooking while staying only at home that I’ve lost the spark for doing that. Thankfully, I’ve never changed my size or weight after 21, therefore, I have a wide choice of outfits. I am wearing pants I had sewn in 2004 when I just arrived in Canada, jackets and skirts from 90-s. I have sewn them myself, therefore, the fabric is excellent and doesn’t wear out or lose color like the readymade clothes.

More of flowers, more color

While I am on some social media sites, I really cannot stand them. Facebook is a necessity for art classes and other art events, but the most I can spend there is about 5 minutes a week. I just look at Facebook, and it takes no time at all to become nauseated. I think I was already too old when social media became a must for whatever we want to promote and put out there, so I never felt social media as an organic part of me. I lack that chatty style and I’m way too realistic and honest to spread lies shamelessly. I never engage in small talk either, also in real life. Or give out fake compliments. Or watch weird videos.

Hibiscus bloom

Nothing of that makes my life better, therefore, as I mentioned before, I rather read real books. Or some blogs, or my own blogs. The problem is that most people don’t have time to even look at the actual post. They click on “like” from Reader and then leave a comment – please, visit my site. While I have quite many followers, I know well those few who read my posts. I hope I will stay in touch and be more present during the upcoming months, but my art site and art blog definitely take priority since art is what I do, and I want it to stay that way. Making income with art is very tricky. It’s also time- and resource-consuming business. Well, time will show how I survive doing what most people would say is a futile effort.

Start and finish in bright yellow, it sure is going to brighten somebody’s day!

Meanwhile, I’d like to remind that time is a river, and it never gives us back anything. Float, swim or fight the flow – that’s up to each one of us. As long as we are above the water, we can do lots.

Have a decent fall season!

Emotions and feelings in winter colors

We’ve been frequently mentioning how important it is to stay calm, relaxed and keep our mind clear. When things go our way and nothing bad shatters our daily routine, everybody is fine. Yet, life is always a mix of all kinds of events. That means, time to time, crisis is inevitable. Usually, the scale of crisis differs: it can range from personal and individual to global, as it has been for the last 2 years.

One good indicator of mental health is staying well and managing your life properly in good times and in bad times. All generations get to experience a crisis, whether personal, local, country-wide or global. There are no exceptions, however, severity of crisis might be at distinct levels. Severity of crisis is a mental assessment we create for ourselves. Therefore, our reaction could range from panic and feeling of being destructed to quiet planning of preventive measures and execution of them.

Older people generally would take on events in a calmer manner because of their previous experiences. When we are past 60, we’ve seen, heard and experienced a lot. We know that the world owes us nothing, this is us, who act, react and decide. Statistically, we could have an average person in every group of temperament and personal features, but in reality – reactions are as many as there are people on Earth.

Our thoughts are slower than our emotions hence emotions take their roots in subconscious experience and depth of brain and body system interactions. It’s quite impossible to calculate the exact chemical brain processes and the precise amounts of all countless neurotransmitters which accompany one or another emotion and do that for an exact level. As humans, we are either upset, depressed, exhausted or happy, satisfied and altogether fine.

Passion and engagement play a big role when it comes to turning our desires into reality. We use to say: to the bottom of my heart. That’s exactly what matters. If you wish for something just because you were told that repeating some affirmations is what takes you closer to achieving whatever you want, it’s unlikely to happen. This depends on the degree of your passion and whether you feel it, whether your emotional state is an exact match in intensity.

Curses and wishes come true not because of the words, they come true because the involved emotions hit sky-high intensity. Bad emotions, like rage, envy, anger, hate or good emotions like admiration, excitement, joy and elation, they all matter more than words. The deeper and stronger the emotion, the more impact on our life. The more we reside in one emotional state, the more it is going to affect us. Change is good, even when it doesn’t feel right and being the best one.

So, who is feeling better about the pandemic and who manages its impact better: a person who is in a total rage and hates masks and lockdowns to the bottom of their heart, or a person who believes it’s way easier for everybody to just increase their immune reaction via vaccines and stay out of social gatherings for the common good? Some people find it nothing extremely unpleasant or difficult, some – as the highest sacrifice. Sure, the frontline workers face the worst, but there are millions of personal situations, and everybody of us individually always has a choice. We make it for better, or for worse, but, indeed, there’s is a choice. If you say, you don’t have any, I don’t believe you. Depending on situation, we have less or more choices, but in the worst case – at least one.

My personal world has shrunk a lot during these more than two years. I haven’t been too active, and usually during the winter, I am not. It’s not even pandemic, it’s just me. It is my choice because I could have been doing a lot more, yet, my energetic storage feels empty and my motivation is at a low point at the moment. This all changes over the year and reaches the top during warm and sunny months. It’s a good time to contemplate, plan ahead, and here and there, take a few steps towards executing my plans.

To raise the energy levels, we really need to be outdoors more – get some clean and healing air, watch birds in sunny days, enjoy squirrels working and playing unstoppably. We had a bad storm last weekend, and the weather is very chilly, it reaches minus 20 Celsius. I hear kids screaming and playing outdoors, and this sounds very pleasant to me. As soon as the air temperature raises a bit, I will resume the outdoor walks.

The room plants are doing great this winter. Well, they have my full attention. It’s a pleasure too look at them, and I never stop admiring the winter blooms, the bright green of leaves and their wonderful, gracious shapes. Room plants feel like a great green oasis in almost every room. They certainly help with air and mood, as well.

Altogether, I think emotions affect life more than our thoughts and words. For observant people, that shouldn’t be any news. We do mask emotions often because nobody wants to appear harmful and destructive to others. However, in everybody’s life, we can see also moments when their emotions come through and they reveal their true nature. I hope you know people who simply make you feel good without saying a word. I hope you have met somebody whose closeness doesn’t require you to speak to feel comfortable and safe.

Whether we know it or not, the emotional aura walks ahead of us and signals to others who we are. It’s good if you are a magnet to good people and push away the dishonest and evil ones. On subconscious level, we do not make choices with our mind, but with who we are. The true selves. Thankfully, being honest and genuine is always rewarded. One can pretend behind a screen, hide under their online image, create absolutely stunning internet personality, but time comes and the true colors become visible. That’s the power of emotions. They break through the protective layers and reveal the truth.

Last night I got news, that we have to move again. So, it’s been moving and moving, and now – once more. I hope for April, but that remains to be seen.

All the best until I decide to write more!

Under the blue September sky

What does your world look like today?

Is it bright and sunny, real nice end of September day or nothing good to talk about?

We cannot choose the weather, unfortunately, if we must stay where we are, live in a place which we might not even prefer, but that’s the reality: all doors are open, but not everyone of them takes us to a place we want to be.

Did you wake up in a hopeful mood and the day kept its promises?

Good things sometimes happen when we don’t expect them, too, as if out of nowhere. However, it’s the combination of all elements which has worked out in our favor whether we knew about that or not. The bigger success we expect, the more upsetting might be the disappointment.

Does that mean we don’t strive for more, don’t try achieving more and reaching for higher goals? We always do attempt to succeed in something currently out of reach, we should at least. Otherwise, what’s the point?

Until we experience tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, floods, wildfires, volcano eruptions and other nature disasters, we might say that every weather nature throws at us is a blessing. That’s changing now, and we might wonder how bad it is going to get? Thankfully, the area I live has been spared from nature’ s anger.

September was a very beautiful month in Ontario where I live. The simple pleasures are readily available for everybody, we just need to set aside a moment for these experiences. The sky is so transparent today, no wind, bees still work in blooms, and there’s almost overwhelming beauty of the late fall flowers. It’s a good moment to be in.

When you have gone through millions of small disappointments, tiny and big accidents, betrayal, losses and some calmer periods of life, it feels there’s nothing that can surprise one any longer. I’ve been sticking to my principles of honesty, truth and generosity for many decades. They get tested, too, these old-fashioned principles and morals. Competition is a normal way of existence now with any means being justified. It’s not enough to know, be able and have experience, you have to prove your self-worth and value of your skills every day from new. Every single day it’s some kind of competition, feeling of being pushed and rushed. If you do not post anything on social media or website, people forget you, forget who you are, what you do and so forth.

For how long am I supposed to be competing for the social media attention?

There is nothing stable in the universe of public opinion. I noticed that blog reading is down, too. The number of views goes up, but the actual interaction is down. Shorter attention span? Sure. The amount of information avalanching over the viewers head is also remarkably larger. While I love creating art, sewing, designing new outfits and other items, gardening, nature and its mystic ways, I’m not huge about throwing this into everybody’s face: look what I have! Nevertheless, I must do just that if I ever want to have more students in my art classes or sell my art.

Early fall for dreamers? Definitely.

September calm might be ending soon, in a few weeks or so. It’s a good time to regroup, recharge, put in vegetable preserves, take a short walk, collect new colorful leaves for the next nature-painted projects. The calm before the storm or maybe just time to think about what’s ahead, to dream a bit about things unfolding my way and according to my plans. The path, however, was created a long time ago. The ripples in the universal interaction ocean cause situations which we are living in now, at this moment. We have created our today as it is together with other people, nature, universe and our actions or inactivity, with our features and our thoughts.

I hope your day is as good as you expected it to be!

Stay in touch and thanks for reading!

It’s a brilliant day

Today, it is. The heat has decreased and the humidity torture is less depressing, as well. My blog posting gaps have increased, though, thanks to all kinds of unexpected issues. It is a time when I am aware of all things I still have to tackle and bring to some conclusion, yet, I don’t do anything here and there. The privilege of older age is that you can mentally sort through the urgent things and make a reasonable decision: there’s hardly anything that cannot wait for a bit longer. For instance, posting a new article which won’t be seen by that many anyway.

It’s a wrong decision from the point of being present on the internet, but a very beneficial from the view of general feeling-and being-well-aspect. Ever since we became billions on every social media site and every blogging platform, the importance of one single post lost its meaning. Life is not long enough whatever way you look at it. I’d prefer much longer stretch of feeling like in 35-50 period. I find that around 50 it was when I had still huge energy and motivation to fight every internet battle and to squeeze myself out like a lemon to grab attention. Over time, the need to be present everywhere has really lost its attraction.

Being present in moments which matter for me personally has become more important. Sooner or later, we all realize that there will be things which we aren’t destined to do, learn or pursue. Time limits our ability to perform everything at the same level of devotion and achieve the same level of success in all areas which appeal to us. It takes huge time to achieve adequate skills in any area nowadays. However, the abundant numbers of experts and people who do counselling means there’s too much advise about everything. 

Let’s talk about how-to posts. Mainly, there are 2 groups. The first group, usually, in technical aspects of using software, app, social media or blogging platforms, writing or drawing and painting tools are helpful. The second group is where the heading says “how-to”, but the article lists reasons why and immediately takes you to the button to purchase something. We already know why, if we are looking for the practical application of this new whatever it is. I’m really interested in finding examples of using a tool, a strategy, I want to see how it looks in reality, but that’s not possible. There are immediately ads and all kinds of offers to buy. Food takes very much space on the internet, as well, too much for me personally. I stick to the old and extra simple recipes, better yet, the ones which consist of a few ingredients. That’s also very beneficial for our digestive system.

Then there are the numbers articles: 10 things what to eat and 10 what not to, 7 ways to wear an outfit, 6 ways to relax, 5 ways to prepare a particular food and to exercise. Very often it is “how to be happy” in numerous ways. It’s usually a list of things which we all know, have or do not intend to have, do or do mind doing. It’s something which we are aware about, but we have a reason not to engage in it, or we are already mastering that aspect. This type of list provides with no discoveries. One advice can never suit all. The most interesting articles for me are about personal experiences, the diverse ways we live.

Today, it is a really brilliant day. Just with the right amount of heat and sunshine. With well-formed attractive clouds sailing the bright blue sky. With bees still working blooms and butterflies hurrying from one flower to another. With tomato branches almost touching the ground because of the heavy fruit. With fantastically orange and perfectly round pumpkins. I also saw hummingbird 2 times this year. That’s so cute for my location!

The summer has been too short as always. It was too hot, we had too much rain, it was too dry sometimes, too stormy here and there. And it will be definitely too cold in the winter. No perfect weather for us, and here I laugh a little. Our feeling of entitlement has spoiled us. I personally do not complain, I take summer over winter any time. The virus has had big impact on our life here in Ontario, as I suppose, in the place where you are at. We thought it will be a fairly swift battle and we would be done with it. Maybe you have lived as you wanted, but I here couldn’t. Restrictions are still all in place, except, there is no lockdown.

I have such insanely huge amounts of produce, I’m not sure what to do with it. We are giving away part of it to husband’s colleagues, sometimes to anybody who will take it. I am seeing all benefits of growing vegetables and flowers from my own seeds. These plants are very strong, they practically do not suffer from the regular plant diseases. It makes a lot of sense to take care of your own seeding material. Since I haven’t been anywhere, only at home (almost 2 years already!!!), I am attaching a few pictures of my garden. It can be enough, but dreams and memories take me to other places; where I have been, which I will visit and what I’m not going to see. Well, the Earth is small and big at the same time, just like this life: so uncomplicated and manageable one day, but absolutely stunning or overwhelming the next.

Have a good September which is just around the corner! Thanks for reading!

The rainy July, uncertainty and assumptions

Summer never disappoints, even when there’s more rain than in the fall or more heat than in Mexico. Just knowing, that the days are long, and light stays on longer is so satisfying. Recurring certainty gives a feeling of stability, but we are not yet 100% there in Ontario. We are fairly uncertain also about the length of vaccine efficiency and what happens next and so forth. Questions which will clarify themselves as time passes by.

The last 2 years have been a huge test: they have tested our patience, endurance, tolerance and self-efficiency. I am usually aiming for predictability and certain order of upcoming events, just like in nature: summer comes after spring, and then there’s fall, and winter. Clarity, simple sequence of events. During this period, it’s been knowing nothing about what to expect, misinformation, lies, doubts and promises which often didn’t turn into actions.

Time doesn’t take into account whether we like being in this mess created by virus or not: it just runs away and, in some cases, – out. This time period will stay in our memory for quite a while. Is the pandemic over yet? In some places and countries, it seems we are winning, and then, a new variant occurs, and we start losing. It looks like this is not the end of pandemic yet. I wish it were, though.

Are you also so much used to wearing a mask that it will seem strange leaving house without it? Or disinfecting surfaces and washing hands for hundred times? I’ve heard that people are having more anxiety attacks, more upsetting days, spending more time doubting themselves and the future. I’d say that is normal taking into account the circumstances. We feel very much entitled to many things and we often take them for granted.

Maybe this is a time when we simply allow the flow to take us? I’ve been always against the flow, against the rules, against demands, commands and external control. However, I find that most current requirements make sense and I comply with them. There is a lot of scientific evidence on how we survive. I’m happy that after spending more than a full month on a computer and on the phone, we finally got both vaccine doses. It’s three weeks now. It is a relief. Some feeling of order? I’m not saying that I feel very safe now, but it’s somewhat reassuring that, most likely, nothing bad is going to happen.

We are not back to any normal yet, although, we’re trying to pretend everything is ok. It will never be the same as it was pre-pandemic. Globalization has its plusses and minuses. One of the biggest troubles: any disaster affecting health becomes global in no time. Unfortunately, global trade is fine, global pandemic – not at all because it is handled inefficiently and as bad as only possible. Do two doses of vaccine ensure you’re done with the virus? Probably not. We’ve already heard Pfizer saying they detected the immunity was weaker after 6 months.

Depending on where you are, you might be fine or not at all. We in Ontario are trying to return to life without virus. I hoped people would love to attend the outdoor art classes now, after almost two years of everything online. It doesn’t seem so. Not much response because there’s also no place where to get attention, not even one specific place. Facebook just wants me to spend more money so that they would show to somebody what I publish. Well, Facebook, it’s been two very tough years, so nothing goes to you. I won’t even mention other media sites. If you’re not an influencer, post whatever you want, hardly anybody will see it. The problem is also that everybody is selling something, and buying happens mostly from the huge global outlets, go outcompete those.

I was reading how a marketing expert said she just made a million giving advice. Have you also noticed that teaching somebody to make money always results in high profits? Everybody is attracted to read about “make-money-quick”, or watch it, or listen to it. Unfortunately, it will always depend on your location, digitalization level, type of thing you do, demand for what you do and the basic mindset of your potential customers. However, it will mostly depend on how much you can invest in what you do, how much you can spend on advertising, help and specialists and creation of your product. Do you think I’d had any problem if I could run my ads every hour on numerous TV channels or have them everywhere sneak up on you on the internet?

The presence and visibility are the biggest problem.

When I started writing this blog and created the other blog and art website, I thought it would result in some extra attention. I’ve got blog friends, nice people to talk to online, that’s true. I spend a lot of time posting, returning likes and answering to comments. For art blog, a post usually takes about 2 weeks in making because I usually have to paint what I’d like to show, then take photos (what a hassle!) and then, putting it up is easy, but, altogether – very, very time-consuming. Basically, I’ve spent abnormal hours dealing with both blogs, and return is great when it comes to online following and friendships, but financially, it’s practically nothing to show for. It still makes sense compared to spending many hours on social media and not getting any traction. Well, it is like this: whatever you do, be influencer and famous, and then even dumb things you say or publish will get lots of publicity.

Global pandemic, global competition, global trade, global profits or losses, – but the effects of all that are very personal, very individual, very painful frequently. I do sometimes long for the time when somebody just drops in, they are happy with what I have to offer, they do not run around to 100 other places before making decision, and life is so simple because everything is in balance, everything happens. I am just wondering how could life become so complex? Getting a simple “yes” or “no” is practically impossible. It takes numerous emails, text messages, back and forth, numerous explanations and waste of time, and then you still don’t know whether you achieved what you wanted.

As always, I will post this very delayed article with a few pictures from my garden. Just like summer, garden never disappoints. Even when I don’t have time, plants just do their thing: they bloom, grow and bring fruit. Compared to everything else, it’s such a winning and rewarding effort. I do take great care of my pictures, but I suppose since I’m not emphasizing the photography aspect, they go unnoticed. As you know, I used to post more frequently, but cannot right now: life is too complex. I am re-opening the studio, moving art classes outdoors, preparing materials, and that takes about 10 hours a day or more.

Wishing you to recharge and rest during the summer! Thanks for reading if you did!