Who am I in the school of life? A life-long student, an observer, an explorer, and a teacher. The main thing is: we should never say “I know it all”. We do not, and it is unlikely, we ever will.
My personal experience is that too much talking is useless and leads to misunderstandings, disputes which solve nothing but cause reactions which would not happen otherwise. I also think that talking and discussions should be kept to minimum as opposed to simply getting things done. It is a point of view of and Eastern European. I was watching some movies back then in 70-s, and there were some serials which most often involved: Do you want to talk about this?” These series showed that these particular people could avoid so many misunderstandings if they only would not talk so much. If they simply had been acting as they had intended to. Well, many counselling and advisory services want us to do exactly that: talk about things. I realize that there are people who need to talk out their problems. I am somebody who has to act in order to solve something.
A typical person with western upbringing makes plans, drawings, sketches, explores all possible materials, any possible tools and any ways to get some particular item done, and this involves endless discussions either on the phone or in person. A typical person with eastern upbringing gets right away to make that particular thing they need. They have a necessity for that item and a plan in their head, they have some experience and they most often use whatever is available without special tools and without special exploration. If there is something I will desperately need to get by, I can get it any time. The result is usually equally good. It is just so that my direct approach saves time and misunderstandings. It saves discussions and arguments. I have also seen how people, who want to be prepared for everything, get done nothing. Therefore, I would say: just get to it whatever it is you have decided to accomplish. Life always makes its corrections. It always does, whether that is a house you are building or a relationship you are fixing. We certainly need a general plan which outlines steps we are about to make in order to get wherever we want. However, steps and path are what we have to be aware of at first. Pointing out steps and becoming knowledgeable about clear path which leads us to the result is actually more important than the distant and huge goal itself.
It is also so that the brain can easily identify such steps and alert us by giving certain signals if we are about to lose our path and to get lost.
Here is an example: resolution I will be healthy and eat healthy realistically means nothing in the point of view of the brain. It will say: so what? Be. Resolution: I will discontinue any soft drink usage either at home or eating out indicates path how to get rid at least of some unwanted chemicals and sugars.
Resolution: I will lose weight means absolutely nothing for the brain. Resolution: I will take 30 minutes long walk every night between 7 and 7.30 pm gives your brain an idea what to stick at. Resolution: I will be nice to other people technically means nothing. Specify the situations and steps.
Resolution: I will control my blood sugar more frequently to avoid upsetting my family with my bad moods is a good resolution. I will most likely do just that.
My other New Year’s resolution due to the above explained also is: I will speak less and only when the situation requires, and think, make decisions and do more.
Specifying steps, pathways and issues in numbers helps, as well. The signal has to be direct and call to action. That leads to big goals much faster and with less frustration and disappointment for failures.
Do you sometimes think that everything you eat can make you happy, full of energy and joy, or upset, depressed and exhausted? The truth is, feeding our brain the right way will provide us with more power to overcome bad days, allow to have much fewer bad days and to feel better and less stressed out or anxious.
We are aware by now that we can successfully teach and exercise our emotions and feelings provided the chemical reactions and levels of brain chemicals called neurotransmitters are in balance. However, we rarely think, that food we consume and nutrients we provide our body with have an extremely huge impact on our mental state, emotions, feelings and ability to determine whether we are having more bad or good days. Among the most important brain chemicals are serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, melatonin, insulin and prostaglandins.
Due to external and internal stresses, many people might complain about very long-lasting mild depression. I have heard recently many saying they experience a seasonal affective disorder. Well, we all do to some extent if any nutrients are lacking in our diet and we don’t give an appropriate boost of those.
I used to have extremely bad intolerance to winter darkness and was upset most of the time when the weather was cold and I couldn’t get enough air and sunlight. I had sort of no energy to deal with any issues. I refused jobs just because I didn’t feel I could handle them. As many of you know, I’ve devoted many years to medical research, writing and analysis of patient data and symptoms; therefore, I have come to conclusions that everything which is within us affects everything from our physical condition to our mental states.
Digestive and metabolism disorders heavily affect the balance of brain chemicals. For instance, most of serotonin is produced in our gut and during the sleep. It’s extremely simple: people who have good metabolism and no noticeable lack of nutrients and who take their time to rest and pay attention to long enough and good sleep, shouldn’t be having too many bad days either.
How about external stressors which do not depend on us? Like the angry voice of your boss or piles of work that needs to be done, but you’re stuck in a traffic jam, or kids insisting you do one thing, husband being grumpy about something else while you’d rather do nothing of that, but something totally different you believe you need at the moment? That’s exactly the same story: we have built in coping mechanisms, and when our brain chemicals are in good balance, when we do have our thyroid and adrenal glands not working in hypo-or hiper- regimen, these coping mechanisms can work properly, too. That is why you will see in the same situation one person laughing, the other person ignoring this situation completely, but the third one will be crying or going crazy. It’s not exactly their personality that causes these reactions; it’s how well they are prepared for dealing with any issues.
Everything starts in the gut. When we are treating a mood disorder or mild depression with strong medicines, alcohol, drugs and comfort food, we are aiming for side effects and reactions which we actually want to avoid. The New Year is almost at our door step and holiday season is in full swing, so alcohol consumption is high. Your liver does not care how beautiful the cocktail looks or how expensive the drink is: once the processing starts, a big label “toxins” is assigned to the contents of the decorated drink. Many pre-processed foods, soft drinks and food with high content of artificial ingredients get assigned the same label: “toxins”. When we add to this some damage which over years has happened to parts of our body that take care of removing any toxins and leftovers, the picture becomes quite clear: these toxins are going nowhere, but accumulating straight within us, poisoning our mood, destroying our chemical balance and making levels of brain chemicals significantly off. Therefore, it should be very easy to understand: treating bad mood with a pill, drug, alcohol or sweets is absolutely wrong. This means relieving symptoms for a short-term while, in fact, we need a long-term adjustment and correction to the cause of all these disorders and imbalances. That’s how we get caught in a roller coaster of sweets and sugars that we decorate with a glass of wine or champagne.
Artificial supplements and drug store vitamins might not always get absorbed as good as the ones which come from the real sources, just because your ancient DNA and your body recognizes them much better.
If you love engaging in writing New Year’s resolutions, the first and the most important item should address the BALANCE: balanced activities, balanced sleep-awake periods, balanced intake of nutrients, balanced body processes, balanced reactions due to balanced metabolism. Everything else is secondary.
I love not only eating vegetables, but I’m extremely happy to take their pictures, as well. This activity alone lifts my mood. I paint these things quite often also: beautiful shapes, colors, it’s pleasure for eyes, as well.
There is a house on a hill far, far away, across the ocean, across huge fields and deep forests, and my mom is writing a Christmas card to me sitting at her old table, wearing a blue warm shawl around shoulders in her small lovely room. Letters are lining up unevenly, and the card always starts with “My dear daughter”.
Christmas time is very special time not only because we are trying to do something good for others, to give more than take, to support more than we usually do, but also because it brings back memories. If you’re older like me, you are having plenty of memories, as well. Each year has been marked with some event, some person, some special gift, somebody’s birth, wedding or death. I intentionally sometimes do not look through photos. These are the old, real photos on paper that I’m talking about; a few are grey-yellowish already since they’ve been taken more than 50 years ago. I don’t want to hurt myself too much because that is the past and it’s not in our power to return to life those people who have walked away either from us, or from this dimension.
If you are like me, your friends and family live very far away in another continent. My husband’s family is in Canada, but nobody resides close to us. Our Christmas means only two of us, and I am so grateful it is two, not only one. I have had completely lonely Christmas and bad ones, too, when there was no food on the table and when I even couldn’t get a bus ticked to get to my family back then in Latvia. I have been sick during some Christmas and I have been extremely happy also. I have been even freezing terribly during some Christmas, there was very little firewood at home, and we needed it badly to keep the fire in the stove going and ourselves from freezing.
If you are a very sensitive person who easily slides into depression, you should keep yourself away from the most painful memories, too. Some tear or a few running down the cheek is absolutely fine, but we shouldn’t submerge ourselves into a deep, dark, lonely lake of tears and melancholy. It helps to be among other people, at least chatting with online friends or somebody over the phone will make it feel as if together with somebody. There are always events at the church, and nobody feels lonely there. It is wrong to assume that one has to be only smiles if they want to cry in reality. It is fine to let your memories unfold as long as they don’t wrap you up in a too thick layer of regrets, feeling of guilt and sadness. The worst companion for a lonely grieving person is alcohol. It can create the illusion of joy and pleasure, but it fades away very quickly leaving one in deeper depression than ever. Whatever you do, do not use alcohol as a pain reliever. The blurry mind gives us wrong instructions and takes onto wrong route.
Whatever our memories and situation at Christmas, there is always something to be grateful for. It is fantastic to be with somebody. It is great to have good food. It is excellent to have lights and candles and to be warm. It is a blessing to have somebody who loves you and who you can love in return. Don’t have a party? So what? Have to stay in bed? Well, next year should be having a better ending then. Things did not happen as you expected? They here and there do, and they very often don’t. Too busy, too many guests, too boring and tiring party? Relax; take your time, one can always find an excuse to sit down at some quiet corner.
My best Christmas memories are associated with family which is far away at the moment. We were very happy together. Celebration was not that much about plenty or expensive gifts those times, but mostly about the great feeling, Christmas warmth, delicious self-made meals, Christmas songs. Our tradition also includes saying a Christmas poem at the tree, and all kids were doing that in order to receive their gifts. It was always a bit different in Latvia: the biggest celebration is on December 24. We are supposed to have 9 dishes on the table; we are supposed to eat something 9 times during this night, we sing a lot of special Christmas songs and we have also other 2000 year old traditions: like dressing up in special costumes and visiting other houses in the neighbourhood. It used to be so much fun that sometimes we returned home only by 3 or 4 in the morning. We were laughing a lot, even dancing. Giving, receiving and unwrapping of gifts was always done on December 24, as well. Therefore, Canadian Christmas seems quite boring to me. It’s most likely a very nice celebration when somebody gives a Christmas party, but it is a really slowly unwinding night for people who do not have any guests, visitors and who are simply lonely.
We cannot buy love or happiness with a gift, but we can show our love and gratitude. Giving somebody an opportunity to feel safe and preventing somebody from loneliness is a valuable gift, as well. There are people who only need you to be with them, and not much more. To light up a candle, to make a place for joy.
Look how leaves are dancing and swirling around, and it is such a sad dance with wind whispers brushing our face and with colors fading away and making a room for the silence.
The silence covers our daily struggles and doubts with weightless cloth of dusk as the darkness sets in to rescue us from the exhaustion. Or? Or to torture us with its deceptive softness and tranquility. Some of us cannot close our eyes and say a prayer with hope that the next day is going to meet us with more enjoyable events.
The bare trees share our despair, but the cool sun tries to make everything look better and more attractive. Or? Or our wrinkles are visible so well in the bright sunlight and there’s nothing we can do about it. Not at this moment which takes so much away from us and leaves nothing instead.
I am finding that getting older has made me more moderate and more appreciative of half-tones: grey hues, soft shadows, hardly-visible lines and I can also experience the entire autumn within just one leaf, I don’t need the whole tree anymore. Or? Or this is the experience reminding me that nothing is here to keep. I am writing down this moment and splashing some paint over a paper. Somebody might find it after years, and they would be speculating: who did this and why these colors are so strange and washed out?
It’s a very late autumn day with just one leaf still not saying good-bye and not flying off the tree. This day has my steps which get lost in the rustling layers of leaves. This is how the day walks away, too. So little done, no perfect memories remain, no bad pain, no huge achievements. Just small steps melting away in the rustling leaves. There is not one single color missing in this bright carpet of leaves: the mosaic is complete.
Are you just like me, a person sensitive to the sunlight and lack of it? Well, the gold of falling leaves and frost-touched trees will still shine through the dullness of cool days, but more than ever we should be thinking about the preservation of some sunlight within us for the exhausting and energy draining winter.
There’s inspiration everywhere at the moment. Have you seen the vines recently? Yellowish, soft green, orange, light red, saturated red and purple: it is such a symphony of colors which burst out straight in our backyard. What do the bright orange and red ash-berries and rose hips tell you? Pick us for tea, pick us for jam, and pick us because we’re ready to celebrate the fall!
Herbal tea with a tiny bit of fresh ginger is an excellent warming and body cleaning drink. As you may know, moderate doses of any tea which you feel attracted to, will only do good for you. Fruits and vegetables have top nutrient value around their harvest time. Although, we can eat vegetables and fruits all year round nowadays, the naturally ripened and freshly harvested ones are the best choice for our taste buds and body, especially those ones grown in the area where we come from or reside in.
The red rowan
Take a walk
The more sun and good weather a fruit or vegetable has enjoyed during its ripening, the more of good energy it will have. Indeed, I’m referring not only to the energy we are measuring in calories, but also to the universal energy which is present in everything either as positive, neutral or negative vibrations. This energy has also a direct value: it will result in pleasure, feeling of happiness and life energy, in a strong bad luck resisting force. This means: the same fruit or vegetable gives us double benefit when we consume it straight after its harvest while it is still full of life, has undamaged cells and is rich in flavor.
Garden is full of treasures
Calorie counting makes people mean, small-minded, it upsets them, and they feel as if being punished for something which is not their fault. This is the time to enjoy any natural fruit and vegetable dishes, eat them free of guilt and with huge pleasure, therefore, our meals will result in great effects on our mind and health.
This is the time to take long walks, make our hearts and souls take off with leaves and dance in the wind! It’s way overrated that big physical loads in sweaty gyms make one feel good and healthy. Look at some people: how much struggle they go through to get their daily dose of physical exercise! Fresh air is absolutely free so far, and the best exercise everybody will benefit from is a simple walk. When the sun plays a shadow game in colorful leaves, it is also a pleasure for our eyes. This is exactly the way to achieve mindful experience of happiness right here and right now. Why not go for it?
Did you know that brown shades of lipstick are really in for the fall? How about coffee with cream if you’re blonde like me?
Autumn is here. I don’t really like that much thinking that it is a fall; therefore, I’m sticking to the more poetic British “autumn”. Nature is thoughtful and prepares carefully for frosts, winds, rain and sleep. Well, we will be not sleeping for 6 months, but our energy levels due to lack of sunshine and the great mood vitamin D decrease can go down, too, therefore, we go for comfort foods, comfort settings, comfort treatments and we certainly consume more sweets than we should.
Seasonal turn is a good time for creating new habits. Why not right now engage in some herbal tea? Make it a habit? Some herbal tea is beneficial in many ways: it can calm or re-energize, wake up or help falling asleep, take care of brain alertness, improve mood, decrease pain or infection, so on and so on. The only thing one should do is to choose the right thing, I mean, the right tea. The most beneficial herbal aids are those which grow in your native land or land where your parents and grandparents are from. Our DNA has much longer memory than we do, so we should trust it and support it. Our body will respond with good health.
I hear and read quite often how people are told: you cannot do it on your own. I dare to say this message is very misleading and it carries exactly the opposite meaning of what our human nature is about. The only person we always can and should trust and rely on is WE. We know ourselves the best even though we sometimes do not want to admit that we are having all this huge knowledge. We want to put our weak side first and complain about lack of support and that there is nobody who we can cry on a shoulder. Well, there is always this one: we ourselves. Theoretically it is like this: if some other human has done it, I can do it, as well. We are made so that we can do everything we need during our lifetime. That includes much wider skills than we can think off, much more understanding than we would imagine, much more strength than we believe we have. Sometimes resources are hidden very deep, and getting to these resources can be tricky. However, humans are the most adaptive creatures on the earth, or would we still be alive if we weren’t? Just to mention the piles of chemicals we are breathing, drinking and eating in, we have quite adapted to harmful substances; to a degree that mild poisons don’t kill us, at least in a short term, they don’t. Therefore, whatever you problem is, you should know that you can deal with everything in the best possible way. Your own health is in your hands, your own success is in your hands and also the solution of your own problems is YOU. Many people really need to start thinking: I can do this on my own. What is usually stopping you from achieving your goals? Bad luck? Could be. Bad financials? Quite possible. Bad inherited disease? Well, many people go through all kinds of health problems.
You will make a difference in the moment when you take control of your life in your own hands. Support is great, but you don’t even need it BECAUSE YOU CAN DO EVERYTHING ON YOUR OWN. As soon as you realize how many opportunities are straight within you, how many solutions are just waiting to be discovered, you will start RELYING on yourself. TRUSTING yourself, because you have all the answers already. It is hilarious how some people want to convince you that they know what exactly your problem is! They are just guessing and here and there they hit the right spot. Asking for advice is completely another thing. We should appreciate any advice and yet, only we decide whether to take it or not, whether there is something valuable for us, in particular.
I am attaching some of my fall pictures. I couldn’t resist since there is always so much beauty straight in our backyard.
I would like to suggest implementing a few rewarding activities in our daily routine.
We can certainly find happiness within ourselves, but since we are also very social creatures, our happiness, feeling of fulfillment, pride, love, satisfaction with life and desire to embrace life as is, will quite often depend on relationships, appreciation of other people and interactions with them whether in a small family circle, in a larger social group or even global context. Therefore, we need a strong support. A strong something to hold on, or somebody who is always up to the challenge, who we can always rely on, who we can trust completely.
There is a person who we can always count on. This person is us. It can be extremely hard to make somebody else feel happy and satisfied with the current life settings if the situation is far from brilliant. However, it is practically always possible to make ourselves satisfied with life.
In order to avoid disappointments, I’d say we should
rely on ourselves whenever possible;
ask for support and advice people who we trust when we feel lost, and
always treat the situation realistically and appropriately. problems don’t solve themselves, we do.
Plenty of people suffer from pain, severe disorders, stress, nervousness, anxiety, insomnia, mental disorders, obesity, diabetes, liver or kidney diseases, cardiac and vascular illnesses, post-disease traumas and simply fear from life once they have experienced an unpleasant treatment from somebody, bad situations and accidents or loss of and detachment from people who they cared about.
That is painful, devastating and overwhelming; and although, we tell ourselves to forget and live our life as if nothing ever happened, it takes time and huge effort to either start everything from new, or correct whatever we are able to correct, change and adjust.
After a very bad accident about 2 decades ago, I can hardly recall any single day when there was no pain. It can be extremely bad or just irritating, but pain is always with me; my nasty companion, never leaving me alone. Multiple surgeries and long treatments were the reason I got into complications. Quite honestly, it’s not a pleasure, even though nobody would notice any visible changes in me. It is tough because I am on a strict schedule which doesn’t allow for any deviations. So, what do I do?
I love life even with all its troubles, with all its restrictions and limitations. There are many. However, I choose not to focus on limitations, but my abilities, talents and rewarding things.
I am writing in my other blog how art can be an extremely useful tool for maximizing our potential and doing something valuable which brings a lot of satisfaction and fulfillment in our life. There are many people who attend my classes, I would not have met them without my love to art and teaching.
Many people do gardening, love flowers, plants and nature, and that is fantastic!
Gardening can mean many different things: gardening for profit, gardening to provide oneself or family with clean and nutrition-rich produce, gardening for fun and as a hobby and gardening as therapeutic horticulture. You probably have not heard that much about the latter before, but this means using your garden, balcony, backyard or any natural space for growing plants, vegetables, herbs, flowers and similar, and doing this all mainly for therapeutic purposes. “Hortus” means “garden” in Latin, and that’s why we call it horticulture (cultivation of a garden). Horticulture has extremely long history and it deals with multiple food growing, exploring and enriching, and non-food aspects, including psychology, design and even treatments.
One does not have to be a scientist to see how many beneficial effects gardening has on the person who loves it.
How could gardening for therapeutic purposes help somebody who is not a gardener and doesn’t want to be one, but would love to still enjoy being out in the nature?
Beautiful and delicious
We are spending enormous time indoors: in buildings and in vehicles nowadays. That is a huge part of our life. We have lost the connection with natural processes and we have forgotten that nature has and always has had a cure for everything. The truth is, we simply walked away from it being sure that chemicals will replace anything we need and technology will make our life a dream. That did not quite happen, and the easy life came at a very high price: epidemic numbers of incurable and difficult-to-cure diseases, damaged DNA and inherited conditions from which children suffer and will keep suffering as adults all life.
Most people have forgotten or have never known how that feels: to touch the soil.
Well, they should try that because the Earth has incredible powers, and it can do both: cleansing and re-energizing. Therefore, people who would benefit most from growing something or participating in outdoor gardening activities are first of all small children, kids, adolescents, elderly and sick people or those who suffer from mental conditions.
Contact with soil, plants and flowers can be not only of huge aesthetic value, but it also contributes to everything we so badly want emotionally and physically: get rid of stress, sleep well without pills, become more confident, happy and satisfied with life by watching the growing and life cycle in the garden.
Here is what clinical research has found:therapeutic horticulture can help with
reduction of pain and stress, improvement of attention and focusing ability, decrease in agitation and anxiety, improvement of the quality of life;
gaining new skills and regaining the lost ones, improvement of memory, sense of responsibility and social interaction and many more depending on the person who needs some relief.
My beautiful garden: there is always only good news
How does the therapeutic horticulture work for me?
I do it mostly for pleasure and I simply must have a garden. I have always had one and have made numerous new gardens anywhere I lived, always from scratch. I take care about my flowers, plants and herbs every day and every moment when I can afford to be outdoors.
If I cannot walk or something else is wrong on that day, I can sit there and simply adore all shapes, colors and the natural perfection. The morning dew or afternoon heat, the mystic colors through foliage at sunset, the first berries or tomatoes: that is a source of endless calm, happiness and satisfaction. Being out in the garden re-energizes, takes away pain and cheers me up even in the worst days. I am drawing and painting my garden, flowers and vegetables, and garden becomes my art and inspiration. Well, it is an integral part of my life. It can replace so many things which I cannot do, attend or go to. I will return to this theme some time again because it is essential for me to share with others how much such simple activity can give us.
Or did you have to work hard and go through lots of struggles instead?
I believe, everybody has seen these and similar ads: eat whatever you want, don’t even exercise, and lose weight. Just take our pill so that everything happens effortlessly.
Effortlessly is the keyword for everything. People, who want to make money using these empty promises, are quite successful.
Try our dating site and see how you find the right husband or wife right away, we do everything for you so that you just enjoy this person and are thankful for the rest of your life. To us.
Try our new outfit and see how effortlessly you get a new job because you make such a fantastic impression at the job interview.
Try our product and see how effortlessly you become the healthiest person ever, just one spoon a day, and you are like new and absolutely free of any digestive problems.
Use our cream and make your wrinkles and age spots disappear within one week. You will look just like her who’s undergone some 10 plastic surgeries and has daily beauty procedures in the most expensive clinic with the most expensive doctors.
Buy our book: positive thinking and positive attitude and see how your life improves within a few days. You are rich, healthy and happy. Problems disappear, and your mind is bright, focused, and sharp. Every day is a happy one, and nothing bad can happen to you. Effortlessly, just write down these sentences or repeat them in the morning and before you go to bed.
So, we could continue endlessly because all what one has to do is think positively and repeat affirmations and everything happens. They get the dream job, or even better, – don’t have to work at all. I saw on Facebook, one had to share a picture with piles of banknotes, and it said underneath: money flows to me effortlessly, and that was promised to become true. That sounds like a line from a criminal fairy tale. In reality, there is no such a thing as money flows to somebody effortlessly.
The next thing is usually health: repeat or write on a paper whatever times this positive affirmation and you will be surprised how no headache bothers you, you never get colds, heartburn, digestive disorders, anxiety, diabetes disappears, cancer resolves from itself and heart attack or stroke will never threaten you. It’s very simple: just be positive and pain will completely go away. Depression will turn into uplifting energy. Broken bones will heal and age related dementia is just a joke which may affect people who are not positive enough.
In the same simple way one can change the relationship, make bad marriage good just being positive about it, get hundreds of new admirers and therefore have no problem with choosing a spouse.
Here it finally is: somebody has discovered the secret of success in any area of our life. They know it, and you don’t. You definitely have to learn about that.
While there is a true connection between our thoughts, the way Universe acts and reacts to them, nothing happens effortlessly, but we cannot deny the factor of being at the right place in the right time.
That’s why positive thinking is attracting so many people. It is said it solves everything: from health problems to financial disasters and debts, from mental disorders to marriage solutions and personal improvement.
First of all, life is life, bad things happen to very nice and good people, too, and the biggest part of humans or almost everybody (whether they admit that or not) is unhappy or unsuccessful in some area of their life and time to time. Nobody can be absolutely happy every single moment, and anything we do can potentially have wrong or bad outcome, as well.
Secondly, when things go wrong or health gives us hard times, most people often look for causes in themselves and in their own actions, and after that they blame other people and life, government and their destiny. Bad diagnosis is mind-blowing and devastating, and we are ready to do everything to cure ourselves. That is how one initially feels: completely lost, desperate and helpless. Because we all instinctively hope that nothing bad can happen to us personally. When such book about positive thinking comes along or happens to be in our sight, that’s like something minor to buy it, possibly read it and possibly try to be positive when we are absolutely desperate, in pain and suffering. Maybe we should choose a better path to let the Universe know what we want.
The huge number of terminally sick, badly sick and suffering people proves that pure happiness approach does not really work. If it was so simple: why are there so many sick people who suffer from incurable or partially curable diseases? I am very sure many of them are aware of positive thinking and have tried it. We are actually overcoming our fear from the future not because we are positive we will survive, but because we have many protective mechanisms built in us and physical and mental strength to cope with such issues. That is called willpower and desire to live.
The huge number of homeless and jobless people also proves that there is no real connection between being positive and having everything one needs: safe home, well-paying job and enough of good, nutritious food. Everybody has positive attitude and positive expectations when they go to apply for a job, when they try to save money for a house. Yet, positive thinking won’t prevent us from global financial crisis which can destroy all savings and put us out on a street. How bad is that because we are positive, but people who have all the money might be not? Otherwise, they could just simply help us out. meaning, most people of this planet need help, especially financial because money solves numerous issues.
Although, millions of people have tried the positive attitude challenge and still do, that hasn’t had any impact on the decrease of diseases, that has had no impact on the global economy and that has had no effect on each and every family’s wellbeing.
Lots of people live or at least try to live believing that everything is fine and if they feel something is wrong, they blame themselves for not being positive enough.
Positive, negative and neutral thinking are simply distinctive ways of perceiving the reality, therefore, there is no reason to put emphasis on one of them. It is obvious that we must have a positive outlook when starting or doing something (otherwise: why to bother?), but this positivism has to be based on realistic evaluation of facts, and therefore, realistic optimism is much more valuable than plain positivism. We review our chances, we evaluate our goals and chances, and we realistically approach every problem.
Realistic approach also includes a healthy criticism. Well, that might seem to be too much down to earth, but I could list hundreds of examples when realistic optimism causes no disappointment, but overly positive expectations do, and that happens every time when there was absolutely no reason to hope for a good outcome.
Lots of people believe that they are entitled to everything, and to have this everything shouldn’t take them any efforts.
There is no scientifically proven correlation between positive thinking and perfect health, longer life, better income or better personal relationships. I could insert a long list of psychologists who proved how delusional positivism and obsession with seeing no downside in anything can have the adverse effect: from more severe depression and anxiety cases to people who got scammed out their life savings or got betrayed in other ways. I will not insert this list because I want to describe my personal observations and experiences. However, if you google “the negative effects of positive thinking”, very many articles listing psychological research will come up. That means, positive thinking does not constitute “a cause and effect” correlation because people who are already healthy, people who have no financial problems or are naturally inclined to explain everything from the trust and belief position (are born as a psychologically easy-going type) will definitely be more positive and maybe even less cautious than people who struggle with pain, are terminally ill, have broken marriage, don’t have a job, or home, have broken relationships, etc.
However, there is a strong scientifically proven correlation between willpower, personal integrity and perseverance and better health, better jobs resulting in better income and more successful relationships. Willpower is not the same as positive thinking. Willpower is neither positive, nor negative. It shows that the person has the strength to withstand whatever comes along and to stick to their plan. Willpower also allows implementing our intentions regardless of obstacles, and quite often that is all what matters.
Under the never-ending pressure to pretend and to show how positive and well we are, we do not want to admit any bad things anymore because that might be understood as a weakness, as a personal failure. We feel obligated to be positive and to show off our “everything is excellent” side. Nobody has cancelled troubles, diseases, disasters, failures, broken promises and broken hearts. That is life. The bad sides of our life have to be assessed and dealt with accordingly: black doesn’t become white if we think so. We have to paint it white and do this with internal strength from the position of our personal belief and willpower, without pretending, without lying to ourselves.
When somebody is seriously sick, they need a treatment. If one has tooth ache, they have to go to the dentist. When husband is cheating or beating up the wife, this wife has to divorce him. When small kid is rude, we have to react to it. When our house is dirty, we have to clean it: roll up the sleeves and get down to it which is not really exciting or entertaining.
Talking and thinking does not always help or do the job. We have to act instead of expecting a miracle. It is dangerous to expect we will have everything we feel entitled to without putting any efforts into it. That refers to absolutely any area of our life: being fit and good-looking, having a great relationship or long-lasting marriage, having financial stability, good job and improved global climate.
Neither this world, nor life is perfect. Humans have imperfections, too. It is good to strive for self-improvement, but this is not done only by thinking and attitude. The attitude should be realistically optimistic, but the main part is a positive action, or an action to implement all our positive intentions. It is not enough to think: I am beautiful, smart and healthy, while spending the entire time staring at phone or laptop screen on a coach and eating junk food. Is it?
In my experience, positive thinking gives results only if it is based on assessment of reality and it is followed by an action in the right direction. I am for realistic optimism.
Besides, one website offered free happiness training. Cool or what? Free. Free happiness for everybody. I told before, type in Dalai Lama’s quote about how man surprised him most because of not living neither in presence, nor future and dying as if he never lived, and this site will come up, but maybe don’t do that because Olga, a fellow blogger was embarrassed to receive messages every day, although, she didn’t sign up for anything on that site. This is just how terrible they are: you want a free happiness and they make you suffer for that.
Midsummer or Summer Solstice is celebrated in quite a few countries, nations and places; however, I don’t know any other place than Latvia where people love so much the Midsummer night which is called „Līgo”. This is practically not translatable; it comes from ancient times and is used after every line of Latvian midsummer folk-songs. The closest interpretation might be “sway” or “swing”, just like plants or trees are swaying in a light wind. There are plenty of folk-songs, and these songs have come to us through very many centuries, they have originated some 1500 years ago and given verbally from generation to generation. No powers, natural disasters or governing rules could make these songs and the Midsummer celebration extinct, even though, many tried to prohibit Latvians to celebrate “Līgo”, especially Germans and Russians, and especially after the WWII during the communist times.
Latvia is such a tiny country, but the spiritual and intellectual side of life is a big deal over there. Latvians are a nation of singers; they were overcoming all troubles and all disasters cheering themselves up with such folk-songs. I will attach a link which shows one adapted “Līgo” song performed by Latvian choirs during the Song Festival which takes place every 4 years.
Magic rituals, superstitions, simply traditions and solstice magic: everything is carried out and present during the night of June 23. It is supposed to be the shortest night, although, we know June 21 or June 22 are the shortest nights.
We have special foods to enjoy: special cheese with caraway seeds, beer, special small pies and similar treats.
I managed to make my Midsummer cheese this year, as well. That is definitely my most favorite cheese of all of them. It is difficult to make it using Canadian products because they are not quite the same as in Latvia. However, the taste is excellent, I tried some slices already.
This night is celebrated outdoors with bonfires, dancing and singing. This year I’m not going to Sidrabene where Canadian Latvians have Midsummer Festival, it is not the same anyway. “Līgo” belongs to Latvia, we can imitate it, we can try, but it still is very different from the original celebration in Latvia.
The nice thing is being able to wear a flower wreath: women wear wreaths from any flowers, grasses or leaves, men usually wear large wreaths made of oak leaves.
Latvians have names’ days and celebrate them even more than birthdays. June 23 is the day when Jānis has his name’s day. Jānis (we say this not with an English “J”, but like in “young”, just with long “a”). Many Latvian men are given the name “Jānis”. It said 58,400 men will celebrate their name’s day this year, meaning, they all have name “Jānis” and wear the big oak leaf wreath. “Jānis” in Latvian mythology was supposed to be the God’s son, who rides around during this night and blesses fields, meadows, forests and homes. He brings fertility, abundance and good luck.
The Midsummer cheese, Midsummer wreath and Midsummer bonfire are all meant to honor the Sun and to celebrate its victory over night. Nights are very short around this time in Latvia, there are only few darker hours between 12 and 3 pm, and afterwards the light returns.
Young and not that young couples are going to look for the blossom of a fern. Ferns according to the Latvian mythology are blossoming only during this night, only in rare places, and not everybody can find or see these blossoms. The folk-song says: all flowers were blossoming; only the fern did not. It was blossoming on the Midsummer night with golden blooms.
Midsummer is the moment of full blooming when the beauty becomes so obvious that it is impossible not to notice it, when love is so close that it becomes touchable. It is a time of fertility in the nature and among humans. It is a time when the human becomes part of nature again, forgets about civilization, its rules, limitations and restrictions. The Midsummer night is wild in its purest form.
Just like thousands of years ago, a clear and loud “Līgo!” goes up to the sky, echoes in lakes, rivers, hills, and forests, fields and meadows respond with an echo, too. This is believed to be the most magic night when everything is possible and everything can come true.
Inese Poga Life School 