The circle of life

On May 13, 2024May 13, 2024 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn gratitude, happiness, life, poem, poetry, storyLeave a comment

I am so thankful I have it all

What has ever happened to me

The spring awakening, winter sleep,

The ups and downs and energy

Which comes with every sunrise and sundown

The buds which will bloom,

The roads we went along and missed too.

I am so grateful we had so much life

Without trying to be who we are not

Being a mother, being a wife

The circle of life, the renewal and the end

I am so happy I have always had it

The future, the past and today

Everything what has happened to me.

From the beginning to eternity

I am so thankful I have it all

The tears, the smiles and tranquility

The highs and lows and feeling of luck

The circle of life

Surrounding me.

In the middle of spring,

In the middle of garden

In the middle of blooms

And listening to songs

Which have no words

Since birds talk another language

In the middle of life

In the middle of sorrow

Hoping we get better as soon as the rain comes

Or the sun shines

Or our hopes come true

In the middle of garden before the dusk

Where the silence is full with wind

And the only words are what birds say

In the middle of eternity

Love, forgiveness and grief

It’s the only place to remain

In the middle of garden

In spring

I hope my poetical writing or poems describe better what I am feeling and what I am up to. Yes, it’s a new awakening, a new cycle in the newer ending renewal of everything and everybody that lives. I’ve been absent for a moment, but that is what happens in this life. It can be very kind to you at some moment and turn the nasty side to you in another moment.

Well, please, read the poems, please try to feel what I am feeling and maybe that inspires you also not only to write something, but planting a garden also.

Celebrating feminine power: International Women’s Day 2019

On March 8, 2019March 30, 2020 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn celebrating women, dreams, flower photography, gender equality, life, nature photography6 Comments

March opens the gate for spring so that we can walk through it with the first spring flowers and honor the uniqueness of every woman, their mission and awareness of the feminine power.

Flowers open to the sun as if in spite the still cool air and soil, and breezy, chilly winds. They’ve come long ways and survived the lack of light and warmth in winter.

Much longer days and the bright and daring sun beams allow seeing everything in fresh and strong colors.

We give birth to new plans, nurture brave ideas and get excited with fresh thoughts.

It is so wonderful to head out looking for unexpected success and brave solutions! Nothing compares to the feeling when we take ourselves by hand, get outdoors and join the dance of sunlight patches on the sidewalk!

Spring is in the air, and March comes with a firm promise: “Soon, very soon, every path will take you straight to the blossoming gardens and sprouting grasses and blooms!” You cannot even miss it!

We should appreciate every gift we receive from the spring.

Let us feel young and daring once again! Let us enjoy the blossoming season and walk fearlessly and with determination towards our new goals!

It is no coincidence we celebrate International Women’s Day in March, as soon as our boldest and bravest dreams wake up after the long sleepy winter. Who else, if not women dare everything?

This day has been always my most favorite spring celebration. I’m very happy to be in Latvia at this moment. We do not associate this day that much with political issues in Latvian families, and we do simply celebrate women for all the great qualities they have and for all the great things women achieve.

I can leave all the sad issues in the past and look forward to a new beginning. Love never dies, not even when the person we loved has gone.

These flowers tell me about the future. Tulips in my vase are from my daughter and her husband. Exactly in the red color I adore.

We do not need much to feel loved and respected, especially, if our heart is confident that love never ends and big part of it dwells in our soul.

Flowers in pictures are my room plants. They, too, feel love and care. The more I care, the more beautiful their blossoms regardless of any obstacles and setbacks.

It’s time to blossom, ladies.

Happy International Women’s Day!

Bad news is always unexpected

On February 10, 2019March 5, 2019 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn faith, family, health, hope, life30 Comments

It is more so because nobody wants to get bad news. Ever.

We are never prepared for it.

The day when we are hit hard comes suddenly. It is always at the wrong time.

That is the lightning from a clear sky moment.

Storm, earthquake and flood together.

As I wrote in my articles some time before, it is hard to recognize signs we are given. I missed the gut feeling and signs 100% this time. I believed that every single thing was going so well, I was absolutely calm and peaceful and satisfied with the way our life was at the moment. I sort of disregarded the nagging feeling that something was not right with my mom. I thought we would be talking on Friday night anyway.

Well, we didn’t.

I had to face bad news which was so overwhelming at first that I felt absolutely lost. It did not help being so far away and left in darkness either because the emergency department at P. Stradins Clinical University Hospital in Latvia literally lied to me and told that everything was under control when it absolutely wasn’t. They had not initiated the emergency treatment for more than 24 hours. They totally disregarded anything we told about mom’s medical history. The attending physician made an absolutely wrong clinical decision which was corrected only when at least 30 hours since event had passed.

In such cases, treatment initiation urgency means success. Any delays mean irreversible changes and losses of the brain cells. Being so far away and on the other side of the globe, I was left with the only option: to pray and hope.

I made quite a few calls to Cardiology Centre at P. Stradins Clinical University Hospital. I was trying to find out why my mom was placed in a general cardiology department instead of neurology department. She had clear and unmistakable stroke symptoms. The attending physician who was in charge on Saturday, February 9, was rather rude and did not want to either listen to me or to give me any smallest information. Quite honestly, I took a deep breath after she rudely disconnected the phone and I felt like some wave of dark water was rolling over me. The feeling of hopelessness was so deep that I had to clench my teeth in order not to scream.

I suppose some people really forget that if we are lucky enough, we all get old and age. I was told it was the case quite frequently at Latvian hospitals that old age people had way fewer chances to survive than the younger ones because they were simply neglected. I could see it so clearly now.

Our prayers were actually responded to. Very luckily for us and my mom, the doctor in charge on Sunday morning was a very skillful one. I do not know his name, however. He immediately initiated blood thinning treatment to dissolve the blood clots which had blocked the blood supply to mom’s brain.

It is hard to say how much success the so much delayed treatment will have. She was left also for almost 28 hours with no water, I mean, she was heavily dehydrated and that means less success in such cases. In fact, it is proven that 42% of patients who had stroke, caused by blood clot, suffered worse and harder to treat conditions than the well-hydrated ones. Water saturation in the blood matters a lot because it is an extra blood thinning factor.

How do I get over the most shattering and shocking experiences, bad news and sleepless nights?

I read a lot of books, non-stop all night.

I paint if I can during the day.

I do hard physical work whenever my health allows for that.

I still believe that universe and God want to treat us well. That is why we can have hope and rely that help will be available.

Mom recognized me when I was talking a small bit today using Facebook Messenger. I know we are not completely out of the woods yet, but it is still so much better than the two previous nights.

I had a surgery at the end of January, and I am ok. It will take some time to get over all this and to heal and to recover, but it will be fine at the end.

I cannot reply to all comments and I cannot return all likes because it simply is a difficult time for me. I will do whatever I can and deal with everything else afterwards.

Seasons of life and the forgotten knowledge we all have

On October 21, 2018July 10, 2022 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn happiness, health, healthy habits, lifestyle, positive thinking, success22 Comments

If we want to feel like a magician and creator of our life we have to understand how everything is connected in the Universe. Time has a very relative meaning in different space locations or in different situations of life.

Age and aging is a relative thing, too: it literally depends on our attitude towards ourselves, the amount of love we give ourselves, the degree of devotion to life and living because not everybody is even interested in living or being alive: why would they do numerous destructive things to themselves if that is not the case?

Aging is a natural thing, and we can witness the seasonal cycle of life in nature every year. Aging scares many people, but we cannot escape it, therefore, we must find things that keep us young longer: physically, mentally and emotionally.

Just like anything in our life, our aging process reflects our values, personal attitude, fear towards aging or lack of it, or excessive obsession with measures that make one look younger. Outside does not always reflect inside. We can look splendid on the outside, be well dressed, well-behaved, but the inside tells a different story.

Fear, insecurity, feeling sorry or regretful, as well as having feelings, such as envy, grudge, inability to forgive, inability to let things go, inability to adapt to the current situation and habit of residing in the past when one was young, good-looking and full of energy, eats up some people from the inside.

Every person experiences seasons in their life, however, every person in particular can experience mostly spring, summer, fall and winter or have them in a mixed order: some children are very mature, and some adults never grow up.

My life has had a long spring, stormy fall and extra early winter which turns into summer when I am past 50, and this summer never ends. Amazing, right? To have my knowledge, insight and skills I have spent big part of my life studying, learning, researching and exploring, I do it every single day.

Childhood is innocence and curiosity. Youth has spark and flame that needs to be turned into useful energy. As much as I love spring, I also love the mature beauty of summer and the wisdom of women who have seen it all: the calm wisdom of an orchard which gives us fruits; the deep calm under the transparent September sky.

I can survive winter; I just do not want to stay in it for too long. We are all equipped with abilities which allow adjusting to many conditions, whether internal, or external.

Therefore, we not only create our destiny and life, but we should be actively managing it. Playing with it? Maybe even playing with it.

The less obsessed we are with not getting old and older, the better we’ll be aging. Fear alone is such a strong destructive force. We attract things that take over our mind and subconsciousness.

Whatever we worry about and do not want to happen, definitely will in case we cannot stop thinking about that. It is very difficult to abstract our controllable mind from worries and fears, but we can let the subconsciousness help. Will it? Yes, it will as soon as we will start thinking about things that we enjoy and which bring us closer to a good outcome and away from troubles.

Do you have any idea how many people convince themselves that they are sick? The illnesses can range from mental to physical and also include physical conditions when no doctor finds anything, but the person just isn’t well. If it did not depend of our deeply hidden mind to a great extent, there weren’t any placebo effect. However, there is a very well observed placebo effect frequently and in many situations, and it can be so powerful that people sometimes speak about miracles.

Theoretically, we know everything. We have the understanding of many things even if we never knew they existed. It is because this knowledge is hidden so deep that our normal state of mind always dominates, and we are trying to trust only decisions we have made consciously, not the ones which we see in a dream or perceive as vague notions.

I believe that having no doubts in ourselves and courageously doing our best is already an achievement. If you had to define yourself only by the amount of self-care and self-love, where would you stand?

I have discovered summer inside my deep hidden mind. It is there, and it takes nothing much to be in it.

It is new path I am taking, and it is quite controversial to everything I have been taught before, but, nevertheless, it feels promising and it already has results.

The soothing Sunday thoughts: peace, love and joy

On December 24, 2017April 1, 2022 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn blogging, Christmas, love, poetry, story, writing14 Comments

I hope we are all at peace with each other

Since we are still sharing the candlelight

And a hug, a kiss and I love you

Whether you have just one slice

Of bread and a glass of wine

Whether you are in a castle

And you would never know

How much suffering is out there

I hope we are all at peace with the world

The fighter, the lover and the loser

The dreamer, the angry and the doubtful

The smart, the holy and the simple

I hope we are all at peace with our heartaches

Since we can still send our love

To those who are desperate, hungry and forgotten

I hope you can see some snowflakes

Dancing down and falling from the sky

The promise, the hope and the wisdom

Of someone who we all know

I hope you can see how snowflakes

Cover the graves, the streets and the cities

So that we all could have peace and joy

Like white, untouched and pure snow

At least in our thoughts

And the soft warmth of this calming candlelight

For I hope we are all at peace with ourselves and others tonight

Merry Christmas! Peace, love and joy to every home and family! Happy holidays blogging friends!

Absence of shadows

On October 2, 2017May 9, 2022 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn fall, nature, pain, poetry, positive thinking, writing27 Comments

We are shocked so frequently with extremely bad news.

We cannot be in a steady state of sorrow and grief.

I am focusing on the good things that surround me. These are mainly colors and the sunny backyard.

I used to cry for everything and I was crying a lot even reading books and watching movies. It seems I am in a place now where there are no long shadows.

It is much more peaceful since the entrance gate is locked. It’s not that I have built a wall around me, but I am carefully selecting the things that get in.

When we allow strange forces and energies to take over, it can be very difficult to get back to oneself. Almost impossible since we are scattered all around like falling leaves.

I have to immerse myself in colors. The stunningly dark red and the blindingly bright yellow.

This is so refreshing.

I let my thoughts go.

I skip the sad pages and get back to colors.

It will be never so that everybody will smile and breathe easily. There is day and night. Light and darkness.

We are energy. We can be pure and clean energy and we can damage us allowing too many dark shadows cover up the light.

So, this is today.

I hope it is a good tomorrow.

I have no idea how the weather will be after that.

I am walking around live colors. I am inhaling them and they become a taste, too. What a relief! Meditation. Simply: I let the time disappear.

For it’s going to be a good tomorrow.

Enjoy!

The pink

The yellow

The deeply red

Share the joy! Help the miracle happen!

On December 18, 2016April 1, 2022 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn Christmas miracle, happiness, inequality, lifestyle, love, memories, positive thinking6 Comments

English proverb says: charity never made poor, stealing never made rich, and wealth never made wise.

I can only agree with this proverb.

However, we rarely see this implemented in the real life.

The question is: why not?

It’s because thanks to technical advancement, human brain gets used less and less, and we are seeing lots of out-of-focus, forgetful, inattentive and not that sharp brain responses nowadays. Where is humanity going? Towards the artificial intelligence replacing the normal one?

It’s also because poor people donate something to other poor people while extremely rich make their donations to large charities which quite often sponsor their personal businesses.

It’s also because there are so many advantage takers, so many middle men who steal everything from the person who works, creates and does.

It’s because greed dictates to overlook anything not profitable, therefore, it’s ok to poison people with harmful chemical food and drinks as long as they bring in huge profits. Doing so for 50 years has caused epidemics of cancers, obesity, diabetes, heart and vascular diseases and all kinds of gastrointestinal and brain and cognitive function related disorders. I haven’t heard or seen anybody seriously pointing towards the huge internationally operated processed food or drink manufacturers that they sell poison and present harmful chemicals as good and healthy food. Well, there are a few people who write enlightening articles which soon disappear in the sea of distorted reality.

It’s ok to cheat, lie and spread out rumours, hence, that’s a very popular thing. Who cares about truth? In fact, we are noticing, how many cannot accept and take any truth. Not at all. The truth has to be decorated, sweetened and embellished in order it would become digestible for the most part of population. Just try saying something not flattering to somebody. Just try, you won’t be waiting too long for nasty responses. So, where is the respect to other points of view, to other opinions?

Great example is CNN: it’s hard not to notice how hard they try sticking to unproven facts, how many efforts they put in propaganda and popularization of assumptions. The news they call news are not really anything based on facts, but they always go like this: he thinks, we assume, she believes, etc. The views they express and represent are very one-sided and very biased. I personally have lost respect for many of them; maybe the most neutral is Anderson Cooper who doesn’t openly look like he’s going to personally attack everybody who disagrees with his point of view.

I am working extremely hard on implementation of the new perception: perception that does not idolize somebody because of their wealth or status, the perception that facilitates creation, creativity, independent way of thinking and being. Results? Quite poor so far because the toughest thing ever is trying to break some strong, old, dogmatic, widely supported, unfair and misguiding principles that dictate to respect the trends, trending people and trending habits, but have nothing to do with genuine and honest evaluation of human potential and human achievements.

100% commercialized Christmas also falls in the category of misleading naive and believing people who really think that it is true if it says: everybody is buying, eating, preparing, looking for and watching one thing, but not the other one. When I hear “everybody” I want to ask: who is everybody? 1 in every 10 or 100 people? 5 in every 1000 people on whom there are statistics?

Putting it simple: everybody is nobody.

Are you overdoing with gifts because otherwise somebody might think something bad about you? Or otherwise kids would respect you less since that girl received talking laptop and the other guy has a robot for Christmas? Or car? Or necklace worth a large house?

The truth is that giving gifts and giving to less fortunate people at Christmas was never supposed to be a competition, however, in the world led by greed, competition is the only way most people would understand.

What happened to the natural warmth of the heart, to cards that kids draw and paint themselves, to decorations all family make and put up on the tree together? What happened to simple, home-baked goods and treats that even kids can help with? What happened to nice, inexpensive gifts which were always supposed to show the good will and love of the gift giver, not their wealth and amount of available dollars? What happened to Christmas that was for everybody: for lonely, for not that well-off, for those who have disabilities, for every child, for every mom and dad, for every parent, for those without a family? Where are the events that invite all of us to come together and share the joy without the need to invest in large gifts and attractions? It’s good at least walking and watching fantastic store window decorations is for free. It’s nice that poor people donate gifts for other poor people because they understand that every single heart is expecting a Christmas miracle to happen. Will this wish come true? I hope it will.

Share the joy! Help the miracle happen!

Blessings from people who wish us well go long ways

On September 25, 2016March 21, 2023 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn appreciation, faith, health, hope, lifestyle, love, positive energy22 Comments

I am very thankful and grateful to all my friends, fellow bloggers who have supported me so much during this extremely tough time. It might seem like nothing special to those who do not blog frequently or have done this for a short time yet. However, there are moments when our life reaches the point when we become completely upset because of some health issues, we lose our determination and all good intentions are forgotten since there is no energy to implement any of them. During these times, my friends, bloggers were right there. There were hundreds and hundreds of prayers, good thoughts and blessings sent.

I think the aspect which makes blogging so unique among all other forms of social interaction is the ability to really discover people, make new friends, even though, they are far away and scattered over all countries of the globe. I am certainly grateful for this ongoing, never stopping support. Among you are many people who suffer or have suffered from all kinds of health problems. That’s life and that’s something which we get as a side effect of living not in a perfect world. One second can turn our life upside down, and the sequences can stretch over decades. We need courage to realistically access our condition, and we need lots and lots of strength. What was the most pleasurable experience during the days when I was totally off? Those were encouragements, wishes feeling better and blessings which arrived from all sides of the globe.

It is so wonderful that there is love which never ends; there is kindness, appreciation and gratitude. It is wonderful to feel better, and lots of friends have contributed to my inner comfort.

I can only repeat that starting my two blogs (one 4 years ago and this one just last year) was the best thing I could ever do. There isn’t anything else like blogging; no Facebooks, Twitters or other media can ever replace that because of content, unlimited exchange of thoughts, ideas and inspiration.

I am attaching fall photos from my personal archive; I hope you’ll love these.

Those, who love art,are invited to check out

Inese’s Art Studio

And finally: I feel blessed for all this help and am sending back my prayers and blessings to those of you who need them at this moment.

My Angel’s Day

On May 18, 2016July 10, 2022 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn Angels, happiness, lifestyle, love, positive thinking, traditions11 Comments

May 18, usually a fantastic and very pleasant day of spring is my Angel’s Day or my name’s day. This day for many Latvians is almost more important than their birthday. It also is one more day to celebrate something beautiful, and we are honoring the person and their name on this day. Russians refer to this day as Angel’s Day, and I have to admit it sounds so poetic, therefore, I love using this description a lot.

Latvians got their name attach to particular dates since late 18^th century. The church calendar probably gave the idea, and it became an extremely popular way to congratulate people who we love.

Statistics tell us that there are currently 12,713 Ineses residing in Latvia. Many Latvians have relocated to other countries, so there are definitely more ladies and girls whose name is Inese out there if we take into account the entire world’s population. It has been one of the most popular names for at least 5 decades in Latvia. I am proud I have this beautiful name and I am happy my parents chose this name for me since it suits me so well.

The small angel was given to me by my mom. She always gives me very thoughtful greeting cards and very interesting gifts. This small angel sits on the shelf very close to my desk to watch over me, to protect me and to always remind me about my mom.

I don’t know how lilac does this, but lilac is always blooming on my Angel’s Day wherever I am. My angel sits on my right shoulder and we are both extremely happy because it is spring, because there are flowers and because all summer is still ahead. That means, gorgeous time to look forward to.

Inese’s song

We have a song which was composed by a very famous Latvian composer Raimonds Pauls. It was written for a musical play, but it became so popular that it is always played on the radio and on the TV on May 18 when numerous Ineses will welcome their guests with rich dinner and wonderful party. The most usual gift for name’ s day is flowers. One doesn’t need anything special, not even invitation. So everybody can make happy everybody else. Happy Angel’s Day dear Ineses all around the world!

Christmas memories that can make us cry

On December 18, 2015January 26, 2018 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn Christmas, depression, happiness, lifestyle, positive energy, sadness13 Comments

There is a house on a hill far, far away, across the ocean, across huge fields and deep forests, and my mom is writing a Christmas card to me sitting at her old table, wearing a blue warm shawl around shoulders in her small lovely room. Letters are lining up unevenly, and the card always starts with “My dear daughter”.

Christmas time is very special time not only because we are trying to do something good for others, to give more than take, to support more than we usually do, but also because it brings back memories. If you’re older like me, you are having plenty of memories, as well. Each year has been marked with some event, some person, some special gift, somebody’s birth, wedding or death. I intentionally sometimes do not look through photos. These are the old, real photos on paper that I’m talking about; a few are grey-yellowish already since they’ve been taken more than 50 years ago. I don’t want to hurt myself too much because that is the past and it’s not in our power to return to life those people who have walked away either from us, or from this dimension.

If you are like me, your friends and family live very far away in another continent. My husband’s family is in Canada, but nobody resides close to us. Our Christmas means only two of us, and I am so grateful it is two, not only one. I have had completely lonely Christmas and bad ones, too, when there was no food on the table and when I even couldn’t get a bus ticked to get to my family back then in Latvia. I have been sick during some Christmas and I have been extremely happy also. I have been even freezing terribly during some Christmas, there was very little firewood at home, and we needed it badly to keep the fire in the stove going and ourselves from freezing.

If you are a very sensitive person who easily slides into depression, you should keep yourself away from the most painful memories, too. Some tear or a few running down the cheek is absolutely fine, but we shouldn’t submerge ourselves into a deep, dark, lonely lake of tears and melancholy. It helps to be among other people, at least chatting with online friends or somebody over the phone will make it feel as if together with somebody. There are always events at the church, and nobody feels lonely there. It is wrong to assume that one has to be only smiles if they want to cry in reality. It is fine to let your memories unfold as long as they don’t wrap you up in a too thick layer of regrets, feeling of guilt and sadness. The worst companion for a lonely grieving person is alcohol. It can create the illusion of joy and pleasure, but it fades away very quickly leaving one in deeper depression than ever. Whatever you do, do not use alcohol as a pain reliever. The blurry mind gives us wrong instructions and takes onto wrong route.

Whatever our memories and situation at Christmas, there is always something to be grateful for. It is fantastic to be with somebody. It is great to have good food. It is excellent to have lights and candles and to be warm. It is a blessing to have somebody who loves you and who you can love in return. Don’t have a party? So what? Have to stay in bed? Well, next year should be having a better ending then. Things did not happen as you expected? They here and there do, and they very often don’t. Too busy, too many guests, too boring and tiring party? Relax; take your time, one can always find an excuse to sit down at some quiet corner.

My best Christmas memories are associated with family which is far away at the moment. We were very happy together. Celebration was not that much about plenty or expensive gifts those times, but mostly about the great feeling, Christmas warmth, delicious self-made meals, Christmas songs. Our tradition also includes saying a Christmas poem at the tree, and all kids were doing that in order to receive their gifts. It was always a bit different in Latvia: the biggest celebration is on December 24. We are supposed to have 9 dishes on the table; we are supposed to eat something 9 times during this night, we sing a lot of special Christmas songs and we have also other 2000 year old traditions: like dressing up in special costumes and visiting other houses in the neighbourhood. It used to be so much fun that sometimes we returned home only by 3 or 4 in the morning. We were laughing a lot, even dancing. Giving, receiving and unwrapping of gifts was always done on December 24, as well. Therefore, Canadian Christmas seems quite boring to me. It’s most likely a very nice celebration when somebody gives a Christmas party, but it is a really slowly unwinding night for people who do not have any guests, visitors and who are simply lonely.

We cannot buy love or happiness with a gift, but we can show our love and gratitude. Giving somebody an opportunity to feel safe and preventing somebody from loneliness is a valuable gift, as well. There are people who only need you to be with them, and not much more. To light up a candle, to make a place for joy.