The angry clouds

And sunny gaps of heaven

The gold of leaves now turning into rust.

Ghosts of the past, they love this weather

When days just crawl along.

It’s only memories which linger

Among the shadows of our broken dreams

And wings are put away for winter.

Getting older is like watching seasons change – late fall can be quite tolerable and even enjoyable at times. The last of golden days will be gone tomorrow. It’s very obvious why poetic people like the slight melancholy which comes with the decreasing sunlight and everything becoming grey. Less and less color, until the white of snow covers up all struggles and dirt.

We often live in waiting – waiting for Christmas, waiting for the New Year which might bring something better, waiting for spring, for time when everything becomes perfect, waiting for wedding, waiting for kids to grow up – endlessly. Quite often the waiting is more satisfying than the actual event. Quite often the beauty is in the fact that all good things come with waiting. On the due time.

Nobody is waiting for old age. Lots of people see it as a dread and disaster. However, if you are privileged to experience it, you should be already happy. As somebody who’s spent many decades researching medical issues and finding out how absurdly complex each one of us is, I often wonder how we just slide over and past all diseases and cure what’s curable. I wonder how we still are with all what’s happening around.

Old age is wise and knows what we tried to figure out many decades ago. There’s so much we learn over our lifetime! Consciously or subconsciously, we are aware of what’s ahead. Many books mention how somebody feels scared and old when they are 40 or 50. No need. In my experience 50-60 is a fantastic time. The saying “If youth knew, if age could” is attributed to quite a few wise men. I don’t care who said that, but that briefly descries how we evolve and, regretfully, are unable to carry out what we know is necessary when we reach really old age which I haven’t yet.

I knew this quote always, cannot remember from where, but I recall it here and there. Therefore, I don’t think people around 20 – 30 can be experts. In science or their occupation, sure, in life – no way. Things change drastically, and only decades later we realize what we did right and what were the crucial life-changing mistakes. No point suffering from regrets. Everything becomes experience – every step, every discovery, every loss and gain. I love myself just as much as when I was younger. I’m looking forward to many more years, I’d love to spend this time just as my parents lived – busy, always doing something, always staying firmly on the Earth.

Wishing you good transition into late fall and early winter!