The soothing Sunday thoughts: castles of sand

On September 11, 2016August 3, 2017 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn dreams, happiness, life, lifestyle, poetry, writing12 Comments

I know they won’t be able to withstand the big waves and the stormy winds. I keep building them regardless. Lots and lots of marvelously shaped wonders made out of zillion sand crystals. Castles of pure sand.

I know very clearly, and it is so obvious that such buildings are for a moment and they won’t last. They never do. Why to bother? Why to put in so much time in something evanescent that only passes away in the moment it is created and is unable to survive? Did I think this would be an exception? Did I believe that our dreams can magically turn sand into gold? Steel? Glass? Concrete? Wood? I must have been really silly believing in the magic of imagination. I must have lost the thin line between daydreaming and reality.

I build them all day. Long rows of beautiful and tall sand castles. I get up in the morning; pack up my pain and depression so they can enviously stare at my creations. When the weather is smooth like a silk scarf and the sun just sends down the first beams to explore the coastline, I am ready to get to my never-ending work: I am focused, determined and extremely self-conscious. I don’t need any plans, I don’t care about schedules. I always hope this day is going to be better than the previous one. In fact, it never is. My castles are fine. Materials and place are wrong. If it only was some other place. If I only had something stronger for my castles. So the night sets in, waves rise and they level down my creations. When I look at the same place next morning, all I can see is an empty sandy coast. No sign of anything from the day before.

Well, it has come to the point when I have to make a decision. I have two bad choices to consider. Doing nothing is not a good choice and doing something might worsen the current situation. It is as if I am standing at the crossroads and neither one of four roads promises to end in a good destination. Or do they? There might be something hidden behind the hills, there might be a good news waiting. Meanwhile, the days have been quiet and fairly empty. Foggy, meaningless and painful. The only thing to hold on has been castles built of sand. Fragile, unsafe and only for a short moment standing. They cannot become a shelter. They cannot save anybody from the storm. Why to bother? Why?

I would say there is always still hope even with a hopeless intention and an impossible purpose.

The soothing Sunday thoughts: This warm August night

On August 7, 2016October 8, 2020 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn dreams, happiness, love, poetry, sadness18 Comments

I would love to take this warm August night

that stretches like a soft fog over the garden

and preserve it as a green fragrant scarf

for the cold winter nights.

I would love to wrap around me this warm August night

when everything is so tranquil and we are all alive,

I would weave my thoughts like threads into this scarf

for all dark days with clouds, but no silver lining,

for times when I am lost and floating in an unfriendly universe,

for days that happen to show up from nowhere

when something persistently nags my subconscious mind.

Our life has so many broken dreams and forgotten promises.

I would love to take this warm August night

and fold it neatly as a green fragrant scarf

and put it away,

put it away so far that I hardly can find it,

so far away that when I find it

I can recall this warm August night

and believe the sadness disappears with the fading darkness of night

and this scarf feels again like a warm fog around my shoulders

to prevent from death and frost.

The soothing Sunday thoughts: I refuse to go with the flow

On July 3, 2016December 23, 2017 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn appreciation, confidence, happiness, peacefulness, poetry, values66 Comments

To sit in the backyard and watch everything growing,

To see how blooms come up and how tomatoes get red.

Do you have time for that?

I refuse to be caught up in the trap of the endless rushing.

I simply refuse to burn out myself chasing a mystery.

Must haves and must dos, must sees and must becomes:

It’s a lost competition for me.

I have to be part of the growing:

To watch children growing,

To see the garden growing,

To witness myself growing old and then older.

And growing becomes a part of me.

The greens of the backyard: are they ever soothing!

Plants have no growing concerns and no fear from their fate.

The greens: such a miraculous, endlessly calming quietness!

This must be the secret of growing:

At our own pace, at our own terms.

At the end, we all become ancient cities:

Lost somewhere deep under happily growing greens.

Somebody will be watching this growing.

Who knows whether they realize

How many hidden treasures are underneath?

Seasons change: why not to change something in our life, as well?

On September 21, 2015December 23, 2017 By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn challenge, fall, happiness, healthy habits, lifestyle, personality6 Comments

Autumn is here. I don’t really like that much thinking that it is a fall; therefore, I’m sticking to the more poetic British “autumn”. Nature is thoughtful and prepares carefully for frosts, winds, rain and sleep. Well, we will be not sleeping for 6 months, but our energy levels due to lack of sunshine and the great mood vitamin D decrease can go down, too, therefore, we go for comfort foods, comfort settings, comfort treatments and we certainly consume more sweets than we should.

Seasonal turn is a good time for creating new habits. Why not right now engage in some herbal tea? Make it a habit? Some herbal tea is beneficial in many ways: it can calm or re-energize, wake up or help falling asleep, take care of brain alertness, improve mood, decrease pain or infection, so on and so on. The only thing one should do is to choose the right thing, I mean, the right tea. The most beneficial herbal aids are those which grow in your native land or land where your parents and grandparents are from. Our DNA has much longer memory than we do, so we should trust it and support it. Our body will respond with good health.

I hear and read quite often how people are told: you cannot do it on your own. I dare to say this message is very misleading and it carries exactly the opposite meaning of what our human nature is about. The only person we always can and should trust and rely on is WE. We know ourselves the best even though we sometimes do not want to admit that we are having all this huge knowledge. We want to put our weak side first and complain about lack of support and that there is nobody who we can cry on a shoulder. Well, there is always this one: we ourselves. Theoretically it is like this: if some other human has done it, I can do it, as well. We are made so that we can do everything we need during our lifetime. That includes much wider skills than we can think off, much more understanding than we would imagine, much more strength than we believe we have. Sometimes resources are hidden very deep, and getting to these resources can be tricky. However, humans are the most adaptive creatures on the earth, or would we still be alive if we weren’t? Just to mention the piles of chemicals we are breathing, drinking and eating in, we have quite adapted to harmful substances; to a degree that mild poisons don’t kill us, at least in a short term, they don’t. Therefore, whatever you problem is, you should know that you can deal with everything in the best possible way. Your own health is in your hands, your own success is in your hands and also the solution of your own problems is YOU. Many people really need to start thinking: I can do this on my own. What is usually stopping you from achieving your goals? Bad luck? Could be. Bad financials? Quite possible. Bad inherited disease? Well, many people go through all kinds of health problems.

You will make a difference in the moment when you take control of your life in your own hands. Support is great, but you don’t even need it BECAUSE YOU CAN DO EVERYTHING ON YOUR OWN. As soon as you realize how many opportunities are straight within you, how many solutions are just waiting to be discovered, you will start RELYING on yourself. TRUSTING yourself, because you have all the answers already. It is hilarious how some people want to convince you that they know what exactly your problem is! They are just guessing and here and there they hit the right spot. Asking for advice is completely another thing. We should appreciate any advice and yet, only we decide whether to take it or not, whether there is something valuable for us, in particular.