End of October, the last of colors

The angry clouds

And sunny gaps of heaven

The gold of leaves now turning into rust.

Ghosts of the past, they love this weather

When days just crawl along.

It’s only memories which linger

Among the shadows of our broken dreams

And wings are put away for winter.

Getting older is like watching seasons change – late fall can be quite tolerable and even enjoyable at times. The last of golden days will be gone tomorrow. It’s very obvious why poetic people like the slight melancholy which comes with the decreasing sunlight and everything becoming grey. Less and less color, until the white of snow covers up all struggles and dirt.

We often live in waiting – waiting for Christmas, waiting for the New Year which might bring something better, waiting for spring, for time when everything becomes perfect, waiting for wedding, waiting for kids to grow up – endlessly. Quite often the waiting is more satisfying than the actual event. Quite often the beauty is in the fact that all good things come with waiting. On the due time.

Nobody is waiting for old age. Lots of people see it as a dread and disaster. However, if you are privileged to experience it, you should be already happy. As somebody who’s spent many decades researching medical issues and finding out how absurdly complex each one of us is, I often wonder how we just slide over and past all diseases and cure what’s curable. I wonder how we still are with all what’s happening around.

Old age is wise and knows what we tried to figure out many decades ago. There’s so much we learn over our lifetime! Consciously or subconsciously, we are aware of what’s ahead. Many books mention how somebody feels scared and old when they are 40 or 50. No need. In my experience 50-60 is a fantastic time. The saying “If youth knew, if age could” is attributed to quite a few wise men. I don’t care who said that, but that briefly descries how we evolve and, regretfully, are unable to carry out what we know is necessary when we reach really old age which I haven’t yet.

I knew this quote always, cannot remember from where, but I recall it here and there. Therefore, I don’t think people around 20 – 30 can be experts. In science or their occupation, sure, in life – no way. Things change drastically, and only decades later we realize what we did right and what were the crucial life-changing mistakes. No point suffering from regrets. Everything becomes experience – every step, every discovery, every loss and gain. I love myself just as much as when I was younger. I’m looking forward to many more years, I’d love to spend this time just as my parents lived – busy, always doing something, always staying firmly on the Earth.

Wishing you good transition into late fall and early winter!

October

October is full of mysteries, secrets and wisdom. The October wisdom comes from centuries surviving the unpleasant silence of nature, from always winning the light back in spring. October is a month of poets and philosophers – what else can make us think so deeply about things which go away, but return again and again?  In the Northern hemisphere, October becomes our sunlight preserve, the last colorful warmth before we wake up with November chill.

October walk

We could be walking endlessly
In peaceful sunlight
Submerging ourselves
In the sparkling gold of falling leaves,
Breathing fall fragrance and colorful air.
We could be walking endlessly
In this stunning brightness
Under the transparent, distant sky.
Shadow obediently marching behind.
If it wasn’t for darkness and freezing nights.
If it wasn’t this place where we are now.

What about the garden?

It is going to sleep. Blooming plants are stuffed indoors, not that there’s enough space, but they will survive. About half a year is all it takes, but they’re resilient just like we must be. I still have tomatoes, parsley, dill, kale, green onions, chives, last sweet peppers and basil. When the temperature drops below zero Celsius, only parsley and kale will be available for a while. Nature needs a break, plants are done for now, and hopefully, the winter is mild.

What about us?

We wrap ourselves up and hide indoors, too. Thankfully, there are soothing days when the sun sends us warming rays. We pray there’s peace on the Earth. Is it likely? Probably not soon, but at some point, we must come to our senses. Even those who misuse power. The weather has become quite unpredictable, but we cannot complain too much. Most storms passed us so far. Candle time is coming, more self-exploration, more art creation, although, the light is not sufficient.

Balance

All is good enough for now. It can always be better; it can always be worse. It’s nice to be in the middle of the neutral grey, not giving in into black, not being obsessed with only white. Balance is about that: the neutral middle. Let’s hope we get more sunlight this October here, in the small town in Ontario. Frosts are ahead, but the colors will last for a while yet.

Thanks for reading if you did!

Under the blue September sky

What does your world look like today?

Is it bright and sunny, real nice end of September day or nothing good to talk about?

We cannot choose the weather, unfortunately, if we must stay where we are, live in a place which we might not even prefer, but that’s the reality: all doors are open, but not everyone of them takes us to a place we want to be.

Did you wake up in a hopeful mood and the day kept its promises?

Good things sometimes happen when we don’t expect them, too, as if out of nowhere. However, it’s the combination of all elements which has worked out in our favor whether we knew about that or not. The bigger success we expect, the more upsetting might be the disappointment.

Does that mean we don’t strive for more, don’t try achieving more and reaching for higher goals? We always do attempt to succeed in something currently out of reach, we should at least. Otherwise, what’s the point?

Until we experience tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, floods, wildfires, volcano eruptions and other nature disasters, we might say that every weather nature throws at us is a blessing. That’s changing now, and we might wonder how bad it is going to get? Thankfully, the area I live has been spared from nature’ s anger.

September was a very beautiful month in Ontario where I live. The simple pleasures are readily available for everybody, we just need to set aside a moment for these experiences. The sky is so transparent today, no wind, bees still work in blooms, and there’s almost overwhelming beauty of the late fall flowers. It’s a good moment to be in.

When you have gone through millions of small disappointments, tiny and big accidents, betrayal, losses and some calmer periods of life, it feels there’s nothing that can surprise one any longer. I’ve been sticking to my principles of honesty, truth and generosity for many decades. They get tested, too, these old-fashioned principles and morals. Competition is a normal way of existence now with any means being justified. It’s not enough to know, be able and have experience, you have to prove your self-worth and value of your skills every day from new. Every single day it’s some kind of competition, feeling of being pushed and rushed. If you do not post anything on social media or website, people forget you, forget who you are, what you do and so forth.

For how long am I supposed to be competing for the social media attention?

There is nothing stable in the universe of public opinion. I noticed that blog reading is down, too. The number of views goes up, but the actual interaction is down. Shorter attention span? Sure. The amount of information avalanching over the viewers head is also remarkably larger. While I love creating art, sewing, designing new outfits and other items, gardening, nature and its mystic ways, I’m not huge about throwing this into everybody’s face: look what I have! Nevertheless, I must do just that if I ever want to have more students in my art classes or sell my art.

Early fall for dreamers? Definitely.

September calm might be ending soon, in a few weeks or so. It’s a good time to regroup, recharge, put in vegetable preserves, take a short walk, collect new colorful leaves for the next nature-painted projects. The calm before the storm or maybe just time to think about what’s ahead, to dream a bit about things unfolding my way and according to my plans. The path, however, was created a long time ago. The ripples in the universal interaction ocean cause situations which we are living in now, at this moment. We have created our today as it is together with other people, nature, universe and our actions or inactivity, with our features and our thoughts.

I hope your day is as good as you expected it to be!

Stay in touch and thanks for reading!