Who and what runs your life: the matter of responsibility
Who or what really runs your life?
Is it parents, children or spouse?
Is it disease or health problems?
Could it be an addiction or dependence?
Maybe, it is your phone and social media site that keeps you in a tight grip?
Reasons for being not in charge of our own life can be many and various.
We usually think that we are in control of our own life.
We should be.
However, when we look at problems that majority of people share, ask about and try to fix, we can clearly see that this is not the case.
We frequently see ourselves as a victim of circumstances or fate, as a sufferer, a guilty or offended person who has a reason to believe that life and world treat them unfairly.
We frequently start identifying ourselves with the disease or health condition that takes over every single day of our life and our plans, goals and start to depend on that.
We sometimes cannot break free from a controlling parent, and very often that is a controlling mother. There are parents who believe children belong to them as a property and, therefore, are for ever obligated to return the good things parents have done while kids were growing up.
There are extremely many distorted spousal relationships that cause not only mental and physical suffering, but make one’s life unlivable.
Internet is addictive, so are devices which enable using the internet. When somebody claims they have no time for anything, do you really believe that with all household help we get nowadays, with everything getting faster and speedier, chores and duties take much longer than they used to?
Big part of our valuable time is wasted. Thanks to addiction to internet.
Abuse can be hidden, as well, and it can take long time to identify it, however, identifying abuse is much easier than resisting a person who manipulates with you by being kind and nice, but always making you feel guilty about something. You have forgotten to do something, you have not visited them, you have not responded as they expected. That goes on and on.
Every time when somebody points finger at you saying that you are the reason their life is not happy, not fulfilling, not rewarding, that you cause them problems and so on, you must not believe that.
This is, in fact, a matter of responsibility. They want to put the responsibility of their issues on you.
Once you become responsible for what you do, say and how you act, there is nobody to blame. You did what you did and you made that choice even if it seems there weren’t any choices. Blaming life, other people, diseases, health, relatives, friends, enemies, government or money issues is shifting the responsibility to them.
Since day one of your conscious life whether you realize that or not you are the only one responsible for what your life was, is and will be.
That means running your own life and not depending on counselling, doctors, diseases, parents, kids or spouses in a responsible way.
A person who feels like a victim will always blame something or somebody.
The first step towards a better life and resolution of problems is to stop being a victim or feel like one.
It also means to stop identifying oneself with their disease and problem.
Nobody is a disease or a problem.
The second step is taking responsibility in a very serious way.
It is a very important step. It is much easier to rely on somebody else’s advice and later blame them that you failed because the advice was wrong. It is much easier to always complain that the reason your life is miserable is because the root of all evil is somewhere outside you and you cannot do anything about it.
Taking responsibility means becoming aware of you. It means, finally starting to accept you as you are and being fine and satisfied with that.
It is much more difficult to admit: I am the one who got me in this situation. I am the one who made possible this chain of events. I am the one who experiences the sequences of all millions of decisions I made or did not make. I am the one who made these things happen or allowed something or somebody to destroy me. I am the one who made the disease the most important part of my life. I am the reason people behave towards me as they do. I am the cause of all good and bad things in my life.
This is because everything is in us: our past, our today and our future.
The subconscious mind of every person holds the key and answers to anything we face. Subconsciously, we not only know everything about us, but also other people. We have just lost the key to our subconscious mind and it takes a severe emotional, mental or physical experience to be shaken so deeply that we gain access to this universally engaged subconscious mind.
Why counselling services are so popular nowadays?
It is clear that practically every single person has some kind of problem. Life is not a smooth ride over blossoming fields in a clear sunny day.
If we believe that the answer is somewhere, but unavailable to us, we eagerly turn to counselling and we start taking advice since it is much easier than to take responsibility.
The next step will be taking control of your own life if you already haven’t.
Next time more, it is a long story. It is an ancient story which many of us can recall in our subconscious mind.