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Posts tagged ‘side effects of treatment’

Lilac, poem, and giving my blog a new direction

Lilac

 

Lilac blossoms blending with twilight:

Purple passionate scent of eternal,

Feeling of everything fading away.

 

Being beautiful without a purpose.

 

Lilac scent melts in the night air,

Twilight calm will fall down very soon

To end this moment with a period mark.

 

The day is so tired, too, time to rest.

 

The night sky uses blush, a lot of it

And the purple scent becomes a shadow.

It is always twilight in some places.

 

It is so complete with the lilac scent.

 

Morning finds birds sipping the morning dew

From tiny cups filled with sunlight pearls.

I paste this moment in my good memories folder.

 

Scents will evaporate, just like us.

 

My personal recovery experience

People, who read my posts, know that my health issues have been resolved completely thanks to my new skills and change of dominance in my mind..

I have learned a lot from my past experiences, and I intend to move on very healthy, with good reasons, not allowing anything to offend or disrupt my intentions.

I am doing much better because I rely on myself and I have learned that by becoming a much better person I am helping not only myself, but also people around me.

I will explore a wide variety of topics that relate to staying young, fit, healthy, stress-free, active and satisfied with my new life.

I am 60 this summer. Apart from the bad accident in 1992 and chronic pain because of that, I have been very fine so far. I took the previous experience as an important lesson. I realize that something in my behaviour, thoughts and intentions was causing it. I will use my experience as a stepping stone in order to bring more light in this life.

I have learned that being kind, nice and good to others and oneself is the most  important thing in our life as we attract the same attitude, the same type of people and the same type of response.

I pay special attention to these 5 most important aspects:

  • healthy weight and ability to be active and pain-free;
  • effective metabolism and well-performing digestive system;
  • daily and hourly stress relief and efficient coping mechanism;
  • natural, simple and rich nutrition that takes minimum time;
  • excellent memory and powerful cognitive function.

How nature is always our best advisor and supporter

Whenever something goes wrong, the easiest way to fix this problem is turning to the nature.

I have written already about that and I will be writing even more.

Gardening is a huge part of it. People sometimes say, they do not have enough space, yet, all the backyard and front yard consists only of grass and a few flower pots. Every vegetable and herb one grows in their own garden is about 100 times better than we can buy at a grocery store. Even with organic produce, we get vegetables, fruit and herbs which have been sitting on a shelf for a while. You will always know what your vegetable is consuming if you grow it. Tiny and small gardening does not require any weed killers and pesticides. We can live extremely well using just some natural things to get rid of bugs. However, they rarely happen in a small garden because you can prevent bad things from happening quite easily.

Nature is always on standby for our mental comfort and stress relief

No gym can ever compare to gardening and walking in fresh air. Many people take exercising way too far and cause premature wear and tear of their joints, tendons, muscles and ligaments. Our heart is also a very specific muscle that takes loads with its own attitude.

Upset mood and over-excited brain can be always fixed with breathing in fresh air and simply walking amidst the beautiful natural surroundings. Your brain loves bird songs instead of loud music; your thoughts get organized and are easy to sort out when the brain has enough oxygen.

How we look and how we dress

Aging does not mean one gives up the good looks they had when they were younger. Daily facial and body routine is a must. I am naturally blonde, so I have been using make-up from its early days, for about 45 years now. I do use some make-up even if I am alone at home. I do that to keep myself satisfied with the way I look.

Make-up helps to prevent skin diseases nowadays. There are wide choices and huge selection out there.

I learned sewing when I was 12. I did so because I always wanted to wear clothes that suit me, fit me and make me stand out. There have been periods when I have been sewing a new outfit every day, and there have been times when I have sewn something just a few times a year.

I am returning to more sewing and dressmaking again because the things one can buy at a store do not satisfy my demands and they are generally very low quality. It is also much more practical. We can recycle everything, but fast and cheap fashion is one of the biggest polluters on the Earth.

Artistic living for brain health and pleasurable life

If you read and follow my art website, you know that I have been a passionate art instructor for about 40 years, and I am as passionate about my own creativity. I started drawing at a very young age, and gradually added to that watercolor, acrylic and pastels. I became sensitive to oils, so, I had to forget about painting with oils. Drawing is a part of my excellent memory maintenance process. Having very well-performing visual memory definitely makes life easier. It always has: studying was easy, learning was easy and starting any new thing was easy.

Art, writing, journaling, outdoor drawing and painting: that is a daily feast for our soul. One can always find a suitable artistic way of self-expression. Art gives one the time for self-care. We forget about any problems while drawing and painting. We immerse ourselves into eternal and limitless.

Lilac, how to stay young

My Angel’s Day was a few days ago. The Angel my mom gave me is always watching over me.

Apple blossoms, how to stay young

The short spring brought us intense blossoming, the beauty was almost touchable.

How to stay young, nature, blossoming apple trees

I will definitely miss this old apple tree after we move to another place, it always greets spring with clouds of wonderful blossoms.

These are the themes I will be mainly focusing on.  Please follow me on Facebook

I will start a new artistic community page soon. This page will be primarily devoted to keeping our brain young and flexible with daily artistic challenges.

Please also check out my art website:  http://inesepogagallery.com/  It offers my own art and also numerous articles about how to start and keep drawing and painting.

I will miss the old lilac tree, as well, it has been my inspiration numerous times!

Lilac, poem, giving blog new direction

My plans are huge. I hope  everything goes according to plan, especially because we have to move soon to another place and that involves reorganizing life to be happy with the new beginning.

Think pink: how to return to life after a long treatment

A few suggestions which work for me

If you just took the last pill, are still struggling with the treatment medications, are just getting in or out of a long treatment, I know where you are coming from.

The treatment of my current health issues lasted for 1349 days so far. It hasn’t ended yet, but I am getting back to life and back to normal everything. 1349 is just a number. It is just a number that has resulted from many months, weeks, days, hours and minutes spent trying to feel better. Did you know that every minute in pain lasts longer than an hour doing pleasant things?

I have tried everything. I am not saying that my personal experience is going to work for everybody, but some parts might.

The inevitable side effects

Many people go through very long treatments and use medications that also destroy them along with a cure. Side effects manifest on our body and on our mind in many very different ways. The cure of bad issues and severe conditions always comes with undesirable effects. Always, that is the nature of chemicals which can be extremely harsh at times.

I just downloaded some beautiful pictures of flowers and could not resist sharing them. I attached them below text.

Looking at, thinking of and seeing beauty in nature helps me relax and makes me forget pain and bad feelings. Does the beauty have the same effect on you?

If it does, you should put yourself together as much as you can and get out there and look at flowers, trees, listen to bird songs and watch wild animals like squirrels or rabbits, chipmunks or similar creatures. Watching undisturbed flow of a very simple life supports the weak, recovering body and certainly gives more strength.

The first suggestion is: do not put pressure on yourself. Just don’t do that. Treatments are always accompanied by strict schedules, doctor’s appointments, nurse visits, meal times and sleep hours. Everything is scheduled. When we start feeling better and when it seems we are strong enough to do absolutely anything and embrace the globe, we should take things easy. Especially at this moment. We should move step by step, not rushing, not exhausting ourselves even more.

With recovery and as the undesirable effects wear off, we are experiencing unusual additional energy. Small bit of willingness to open our eyes. A desire to breathe very deeply. An intention to walk without concerns about getting dizzy and shaky. Wow! That is success!

That is the hugest success we can only imagine. We never think it is such a pleasure to simply walk without pain. Well, it is. I know how it feels to suddenly wake up after long months of being in a subdued mood, blundering around half-asleep, having no willpower to even want something. Recovery after a long treatment is similar to being reborn.

Colors regain brightness. Sounds become clear. Light is blinding. Sun is so intense. Yes, we probably have to wear sunglasses.

The other suggestion is as follows. Many medications require specific approach: staying out of sunlight, not consuming some particular foods or drinks and so on. We cannot forget about these warnings after the last dose of medication because its activity may continue way beyond this point. Being cautious is a good habit when starting or discontinuing medications. Alcohol does not work with any medication: it either inhibits the positive side or enhances it. I believe staying away from alcoholic drinks is a basic when recovering or while using meds.

The most often observed side effect must be nausea and feeling sick. It is unfortunately that our body wants to alert us, and we know we are wrong and the body is right, but we have to continue with meds. I had extreme episodes of nausea. To the point when I could not even think clearly. Nausea did not allow sleeping or resting either. I somehow found aloe vera juice. The stuff that worked for me was with pomegranate flavour. I am extremely sensitive to any substance, and regular anti-nausea pills never did what they were expected to, but with aloe vera juice I achieved a state when I was feeling practically normal. I took it after quite a lot of water on empty stomach and then as prescribed: 4 full large spoons.

The third suggestion is moderation. Moderation in everything. No extreme foods or entertainments, no extreme physical loads or exercises. Living around the neutral zero isn’t that bad at all. Overdoing with physical exercises can through you back, so can eating out too much or having too many drinks.

It’s a heavy work for the body to return to normal daily routine without strong pills, injections, i/v pumps or i/v lines. While it is such a relief to get off meds, there is an in-between period. It is better to get back to life slowly than destroy everything that was achieved through so much suffering.

Meanwhile, the last suggestion is think pink! Soft and dreamy colors in the environment work their magic. Pictures drawings and paintings of beautiful things in calm colors do the same: relax the tension, make our mind happy and that’s when we are really back on track.

Think pink: create happiness

Think pink: troubles go away

Think pink: send and receive love

Think pink: beauty has so many faces

Think pink: recovery is just a step away

Think pink: no other color speaks so loudly about feeling good

Think pink: this is how we win

Think pink: it is a good color to make face and soul look fresh

The inappreciative patient and my lost summer pleasures

I have mixed feelings towards people who are too positive, too optimistic and expect too much when there is no good reason to do so. It is twice as bad if your doctor sees things for not what they are, but assumes them way better than the real condition shows.

lost summer 1

This is my stormy summer

The surgery itself went quite smoothly. We cannot escape unpleasant feelings and sensations with lots of cutting. However, I was very shocked when they quickly dressed the huge wound and told: ok, let’s go. I wasn’t really able to walk because one part of incision was fairly close to the ankle while the other which did not cause that much discomfort was under the knee. This leg has grafted skin since 1992, so this type of skin is unable to hold sutures. The doctor told there was no need also to apply something else. He proudly announced we would expect this to heal quickly by second intention which simply means: wound that is extensive and involves considerable tissue loss, and in which the edges cannot be brought together, heals naturally from the inside out. I certainly was concerned when they told me to walk right away, but my head was very foggy, and so we drove home.

I was wearing loose long pants, so only when I fall in the bed and lifted up the fabric, I noticed blood spots. They became larger and more and more intense until I had to cover this up with a few more layers of gauze. The blood was literally streaming through the gauze. I called the doctor’s office. They told to send a picture. It’s needless to say, my exhaustion was insane and pain was increasingly stronger, so it took me big efforts to send a picture over the phone, sounds funny, but it was like that. Well, they said: I had to go to emergency. Emergency was quite surprised how they had let me go, but after some 3-4 hours they were able to fix the issue and stop bleeding.

I am always careful with medications I am prescribed or signs and symptoms which occur. The pain was just stronger and stronger. The ankle area was totally swollen. I had fever, too, and that was pretty much an indication of infection. All surgeries have 2 main complications: bleeding and infection. It looked I was getting both. If my head was clear and I had my normal brain sharpness, I most likely had noticed what antibiotic I was prescribed. I did not pay attention; I just took a pill from the small container and watched the clock not to miss some dose. On the next day, I was fairly sure, things are not right. I have had so many surgeries in the past that I am able to feel when something is getting out of control. Some so-called home care doctors came; they took vitals and had a look at the dressing. I had to go to emergency again. The doctor who checked the wound at emergency seemed to be really in shock. It’s infected, he stated. Well, I knew it already, but nevertheless, when I looked at the wound myself, I almost fainted. Necrotic spots were visible; the look was so terrible that I started hysterically crying. The part that hurt me most was: so much of viable tissue was lost. I needed it, I needed it so badly in order to heal!

Thankfully, they had sent a wound swab to the lab. Meanwhile, I was given i/v and attached to an i/v antibiotic infusion pump. It’s a fairly uncomfortable thing, if you are not familiar with it. They had initially attached it to the vein in my right arm, straight below the elbow, so for a few days I couldn’t use my right arm. This pump stays with you for 5-7 days, so one is very limited in mobility because the long infusion line gets caught everywhere and sleeping with it is scary.

On Monday I received a call that I have to return to emergency immediately. Why? That was the third time within 5 days. The antibiotic I was receiving was not able to handle the nasty microorganisms, they didn’t give anything about this particular drug, there was a complete resistance.

3-4 more hours at emergency, and finally I was given another i/v, another antibiotic which supposedly would be working. Therefore, I had lost more than 4 days, and for type I diabetic with extensive surgical site infection, that is like eternity. 3 more days with my friend infusion pump. This time I knew how that feels to have this pump attached day and night to the vein, so I got the line inserted in the left arm, on the outside and not directly under the elbow. If only my head had been clear enough to follow-up on these antibiotics which I was given! I had told the doctor: cephalosporins DO NOT work. The previous doctor had already found out that. I really regret there does not exist a unified online database with patient records so that any treating physician could see sensitivities, intolerances and resistances right away, BEFORE MAKING SUCH TERRIBLE MISTAKES, before causing conditions which are absolutely preventable. Nevertheless, he had prescribed exactly cephalosporin. Did he think I had no idea what I was talking about? His ignorance caused me abnormal troubles, pain and resulted in severe complications. It’s hard to understand, but it seems every doctor in Ontario prescribes cephalosporins as a first choice medication, and most likely that is causing the resistance. They are overprescribed and over-applied.

The doctor? He told everything was fine even when I sent the black and blue necrotic and infected wound pictures. Is that even possible that somebody can be so wrong with the evaluation? Does this somebody have zero experience? Is he so sloppy and negligent that he does not want to admit things went so wrong because of lack of ANY PREVENTIVE MEASURES? It looked bad and shocking, and it was clear the healing will take much more time. Not to mention the stress, anxiety, worries, frustration and despair.

Lost summer 2

Meanwhile everything is blooming outdoors

I do regret I did not try harder to raise funds for having this surgery done in Latvia. I had never such a bad experience before, and quite honestly, I would not have survived the injuries back then if treatments were like this one. It makes me feel as if patient does not matter. It all comes down to money eventually. The doctor said if he was even ok with me staying at a hospital, they did not have enough beds for such “easy” (?!?) surgeries.

The only thing I still hope for is: this has a good end. This wound heals without any other complications.

Lost summer 5

Summer goes on with colors and heat

Meanwhile, my lovely summer disappears with a speed of light. I love the crisp mornings after rain, I love the exhausting heat and sipping cold lemon water in my backyard. I love watching my flowers and vegetables blooming and exploding in beauty. I love the saturated colors of ripening vegetables, and I miss the garden work so much! The last good year for me was 2013. That was the year of my daughter’s second wedding, the year of traveling and pleasure. My biggest goal is now getting this finally fixed and forgetting everything that happened this summer like a bad dream. I haven’t painted for a fairly long time. I feel so exhausted, so drained and so helpless at the moment. When I’m seeing quotes and wise advises on what’s life, what’s success and what’s happiness and similar intellectual pearls, that makes me laugh and cry at the same time: just stop pretending you are not aware how things do not depend on you. Living in the moment is fine, as long as this moment is tolerable for you. Nobody asks or ever will ask you whether you are ok with pain or struggles that are inevitable. Everything has a very logical cause and a very logical effect. I am mobilizing all my internal energy and strength at the moment to overcome the side effects and to bring the wound to a good healing stage. Well, it’s already looking better.

lost summer 3

Catalpa tree has made beans already while I was sleeping inside

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