The soothing Sunday thoughts: October

On By Inese, visual artist, writer and life sciences bloggerIn autumn colors, gratitude, happiness, life, past, writing

If you walk in your thoughts far away enough, you could end up in a place called your past many years ago. You do not always want to be there, but as the years pile up, the memories swirl around like the falling leaves. The soft whispers have some secrets to reveal and things which you want to be always with you, are also around.

October light is sparklingly bright and untamed as it brakes through the unmoving, dense foliage and takes a spot on the backyard table next to my coffee cup. Things we want to let go and things we desperately would love to keep, yet, cannot. I always loved to paint October, but never enjoyed its arrival too much.

The question sometimes arises: did it happen for real, or did I only imagine that? The far away places of past can be anything, and it is kind of hard to keep the door to the memory gardens closed. Paging through old greeting cards is painful and sweet at the same time. I’d love to believe the ghosts are still here and silently watching over us, but nobody knows this for sure.

Things live so much longer than we do. So, we cannot throw out an old dress hence its ruffles hide some long-ago evaporated scent, and the lace fabric still remembers a touch from 40 years back. We cannot part with old souvenirs, so meaningless to people, who have no idea where they come from. Sometimes, all what remains is a small card and a dried flower or leaf between book pages.

October is like that for me: taking extended walks in the memory garden and trying to catch up with the current moments rushing by too swiftly. I, too, was convinced that I had answers to anything. That was when I didn’t have any life experience.

One more fall, one more calendar ending soon. It’s amazing how fast the years run away, but it feels like everything is still ahead. The best things which didn’t happen so far. The nicest surprises which didn’t want to come our way yet. The most adorable October which started just yesterday. Or a week ago, or maybe 2 weeks ago.

Some October leaves are meant to be kept so that our wishes could be written on them. Enclosed on a bright maple leaf is a small blessing. Simple, touchy, fading too soon. The satisfaction of this moment, the absolute essence of all things going away.

October leaves

This goes under my “The soothing Sunday thoughts” because it feels like Sunday, yet, it is Thanksgiving Monday in Canada.

Happy Thanksgiving, Canada!

28 thoughts on “The soothing Sunday thoughts: October”

    1. Happy birthday then if you already had it or I will congratulate later if you will just have it.
      For me it’s a special month because it was my mom’s birthday which our family always celebrated in October. My family except for my husband, who is born Canadian, is all across the ocean. We stay in touch via Messenger, Facetime, etc., but October for me will always be that Latvian October.
      Colors are nicer in Canada, the weather is sometimes better, too, yet, this time brings up a lot of memories, some sad, some cheerful.
      Life is life and like my friend here said it goes on.
      It is a great time to reminisce and to recall events which made one happy.
      Thanks very much!
      I will certainly make nice dinner, but that’s about it. I might even post on artblog, too, not sure yet, kind of feeling lazy.
      Stay safe!

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  2. theburningheart

    Our experiences are unique since we all perceive them from our own unique self, and special circumstances dictated by so many different factors, as for example, October where I grew up did not meant a change of seasons, just another hot month, we wouldn’t get relief from summer until very late in November, neither we will celebrate Thanksgiving as a social event, it was just another church day Holiday, not a time for families gettogethers like in the USA or Canada.

    It was until I moved North that I experience October as a great month, now my favorite of the year, although this year, the change of the weather come by a little bit late just a couple of days ago we experience cooler nights, despite the hot days that according to meteorologist will be with us at least a few days more up to the 18th of the month.

    Life goes own, each with our own personal stories, and memories, we treasure those things that are near to our hearts, and lives.

    Wishing you a happy Holiday, Inese. 🙂

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    1. Yes, we always reference our own experience, that’s for sure. I’ve only lived in countries and places where October is autumn or fall. It has been sometimes cold and nasty, and sometimes warm, cozy and pleasant.
      I also do not really celebrate Thanksgiving. As you can see I post on this day because it’s windy and cold and I have to put off what I needed to do in the garden.
      My mom’s birth day was October 2nd, and for numerous years, we were all together on this day. Canadian October is sunnier than Latvian, it also has brighter colors.
      I don’t even celebrate the Latvian end of fall and start of winter which is Martin’s day on November 10. Well, I’m not big even on celebrating my birthday, so, it’s just me making different cards, paintings and decorations, but not celebrating anything.
      As a kid, I didn’t like to play, but I liked sewing dresses for dolls, making doll houses and furniture and son. Those times, we had nothing at the store. I love creating still, that’s my celebration.
      Thanks for the beautiful and thoughtful comment!

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  3. theburningheart

    Yes, we go through changes in life to be honest, its since 1995 or so, that I stop celebrating anything!

    I mean, if someone invite me to join them at a celebration, Christmas, or whatever other occasions, I may accept, but now, never host events, neither send Christmas cards, or remember anniversaries, or gift exchanging, and the likes, neither experience exhilaration because its Christmas, or Thanksgiving day, rather try to be happy with each coming day to the best of my abilities, and circumstances, without great expectations of any sort.

    Come to the conclusion the Holidays, are just a mercantile prosaic propaganda for people to go out and spend money, believing all the nonsense it’s a “Special time”

    By the way, have a brother who was born on October 2.

    Take care Inese. 🙂

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    1. It is probably also that age affects the need to celebrate. When I was young, I’d just love to go out and have any party regardless of cause. I used to host parties, too, but here I really don’t see any sense in doing so. We are just 2 of us, and the remaining families far away. We had wedding also just 2 of us 16 years ago. Nothing wrong about that.
      I completely understand what you’re saying about gift exchange, etc. I send sometimes packages to Latvia and my daughter or sister send me some things I cannot buy in Canada.
      I’m like you in regards to anniversaries and congratulating other people, too. It doesn’t seem very important. I do, however, always send well wishes to my closest family members.
      My mom’s birthdays was October 2, too.
      We initially had birthdays in a row: mine in August, sister and dad, the same day in September and then mom in October. My daughter’s birthday is in November.
      I completely agree with your conclusion: if the only way to celebrate is just spend more money on unnecessary things, so, that is simply splurging for the wrong reason. The gift giving culture has gotten way out of line.
      I used to love Christmas alot, I still do, but taking into account how many people now set up their plastic tree immediately after Halloween, it’s lost all magic. What’s left is pure consumerism.
      I’m making pork roast. That will last for a few days. I cook every single day since I cannot eat the food from restaurants, etc. I don’t eat turkey and I’m not a big fan of beef. Definitely not vegetarian, but I love vegetables and that’s why I grow them. It’s cold, but my tomatoes, paprika, kale, parsley, dill, beets, carrots, etc. are doing still fine.

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      1. theburningheart

        You are right, with age comes wisdom, the old saying goes, as children our parents do the upmost to make us happy, an pass into us traditions inherited from their parents, but as we age, we start questioning, and at one point the urge to please ourselves, rather than someone else over take us, not to say life makes us a little on the cynic side, and after repetition, we wear out, I even remember mother, saying:

        “This is the last year, that I will cook a big Christmas diner.”

        Every year will say the same thing, until I was away from home for good, I guess at one point she stop the tradition, but I was not there to see it.

        I guess the breaking point to me was when I broke up with my last wife, I just did not see any point of celebrating anything.

        If someone invite me I may go, and take a dish with me that I cooked.

        I am not a bad cook, and friends used to invite me for me to cook them something, which occasionally will do in the US, but since I retired and move away, the only time I cook for someone else is when my son comes to visit me, but no big deal, I cook whatever I have, I just add an extra portion, and my daughter in the rare occasion she is in town.

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      2. It’s great you can serve a nice meal for your children.
        That’s a pleasure cooking.
        I don’t think back then anybody was really thinking how to make somebody happy. That either happened or not. In the former USSR happiness wasn’t on everybody’s mind like it is right now, we never even thought about that, or analyzed how happy we are or not. Both parents had to work long hours, they had to work on Saturdays, too, it was 6 day work week. we lived in an old farmhouse out of town. No buses, no public transportation. Even at 6 years when I started school, I had to walk 3 km one direction and then back. I walked back alone, through a small forest, there were wild animals and I was often scared to the point that I run all the way and arrived breathless. I remember one thunderstorm, I was about 5 or 6 years old. I was alone at home and probably the storm crashed the window. I covered it with pillows, I didn’t have anything else. My sister is 4 years younger, and she was a tiny baby, I always had to take care of her.
        I had a grandmother, but she had also plenty of work with all cows, pigs, hens and whatnot else. I was free to do whatever I pleased, but had no toys whatsoever. I got the first one when I was around 5, a big blue metal truck. I loved that and I used the big ax to cut wood for my truck to carry, no wonder I cut my leg with ax. Can you imagine that in nowadays Canada or US? Well, I grew up learning from all my errors. I found out the hard way frequently what’s good and what I should avoid.
        I love greenhouses from that time. Mom could sometimes take me with her to work. I think that’s why my favorite vegetable is tomato. Love tomatoes way more than chocolate.
        So, yes, we had no time to suffer from anxieties, internet bullying, depression and similar mental issues because we always worked, very often outdoors. My playground was forest, fields, wildflower patches and our garden. That affects for the entire life. I’m very thankful that I always had a chance to learn.
        I mean, nobody bothered with being happy at any price, we just did everything to survive and live the best life under conditions.

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  4. Inese – this was a delightful read!
    Especially loved this:
    “October is like that for me: taking extended walks in the memory garden and trying to catch up with the current moments rushing by too swiftly.”

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    1. Thanks very much!
      Luckily, I could write down what came to my mind at that moment. It happens like that and when it’s in the middle of night or otherwise difficult to capture, it disappears just as it came to me or anybody else who experiences these flashes. For many years, I was using only Latvian language for that, but I have noticed thoughts and lines come to me in English also for a few years already.
      I hope you’re safe!

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      2. That is good because we’re hearing lots of bad things from the States. The main objective is to be well at this time. The other issues will settle on their own as long as we are healthy.
        I’m glad, too. I’m reading a lot, every single night practically and also during bad days which sometimes happen, and that has definitely contributed to my writing ability.
        When I think now that I thought I knew English already at the University which is about 40 years ago, in 80s, I have to laugh. That was an illusion of having knowledge.
        We learn as long as we live, and it is fantastic we can do so!

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Thanks! I appreciate that. Well, I’ve been around for a long time and I have kept studying every single day.
        It helped me a lot when I became a medical writer and translator. I had also practical clinical experience, we were especially dealing with diagnostic back then in 1978, and I studied pharmacology for a while. I believe I have some gift to detect and to know how to treat different medical conditions, LOL. My grandmother from father’s side was a healer and she taught me alot, although, I was so young. My dad also had some kind of gift in this area.
        If seriously, it’s taken me more than 4 decades of continuous learning which I will probably never give up.

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      11. Well my pleasure and it fits in with my goals this month – I am doing some reflecting because this month is the 20 year of our big move from our home in Colorado – at the time did not realize what a big life change it would be (sounds like obviously it would but you know how at times we just live – do – and go – ) anyhow – I will let you know when I post – and thanks for saying yea!!

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    1. Thank you kindly Lavinia!
      I think every upcoming month has been recovery from the previous month also here.
      I appreciate your comment. I also appreciate very much you reading my posts.
      Most of my blog friends from previous years, I mean, way back, thankfully, read the content. With new followers, it’s a completely different picture, likes are and follows are placed only to receive them back.

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