Or did you have to work hard and go through lots of struggles instead?
I believe, everybody has seen these and similar ads: eat whatever you want, don’t even exercise, and lose weight. Just take our pill so that everything happens effortlessly.
Effortlessly is the keyword for everything. People, who want to make money using these empty promises, are quite successful.
Try our dating site and see how you find the right husband or wife right away, we do everything for you so that you just enjoy this person and are thankful for the rest of your life. To us.
Try our new outfit and see how effortlessly you get a new job because you make such a fantastic impression at the job interview.
Try our product and see how effortlessly you become the healthiest person ever, just one spoon a day, and you are like new and absolutely free of any digestive problems.
Use our cream and make your wrinkles and age spots disappear within one week. You will look just like her who’s undergone some 10 plastic surgeries and has daily beauty procedures in the most expensive clinic with the most expensive doctors.
Buy our book: positive thinking and positive attitude and see how your life improves within a few days. You are rich, healthy and happy. Problems disappear, and your mind is bright, focused, and sharp. Every day is a happy one, and nothing bad can happen to you. Effortlessly, just write down these sentences or repeat them in the morning and before you go to bed.
So, we could continue endlessly because all what one has to do is think positively and repeat affirmations and everything happens. They get the dream job, or even better, – don’t have to work at all. I saw on Facebook, one had to share a picture with piles of banknotes, and it said underneath: money flows to me effortlessly, and that was promised to become true. That sounds like a line from a criminal fairy tale. In reality, there is no such a thing as money flows to somebody effortlessly.
The next thing is usually health: repeat or write on a paper whatever times this positive affirmation and you will be surprised how no headache bothers you, you never get colds, heartburn, digestive disorders, anxiety, diabetes disappears, cancer resolves from itself and heart attack or stroke will never threaten you. It’s very simple: just be positive and pain will completely go away. Depression will turn into uplifting energy. Broken bones will heal and age related dementia is just a joke which may affect people who are not positive enough.
In the same simple way one can change the relationship, make bad marriage good just being positive about it, get hundreds of new admirers and therefore have no problem with choosing a spouse.
Here it finally is: somebody has discovered the secret of success in any area of our life. They know it, and you don’t. You definitely have to learn about that.
While there is a true connection between our thoughts, the way Universe acts and reacts to them, nothing happens effortlessly, but we cannot deny the factor of being at the right place in the right time.
That’s why positive thinking is attracting so many people. It is said it solves everything: from health problems to financial disasters and debts, from mental disorders to marriage solutions and personal improvement.
First of all, life is life, bad things happen to very nice and good people, too, and the biggest part of humans or almost everybody (whether they admit that or not) is unhappy or unsuccessful in some area of their life and time to time. Nobody can be absolutely happy every single moment, and anything we do can potentially have wrong or bad outcome, as well.
Secondly, when things go wrong or health gives us hard times, most people often look for causes in themselves and in their own actions, and after that they blame other people and life, government and their destiny. Bad diagnosis is mind-blowing and devastating, and we are ready to do everything to cure ourselves. That is how one initially feels: completely lost, desperate and helpless. Because we all instinctively hope that nothing bad can happen to us personally. When such book about positive thinking comes along or happens to be in our sight, that’s like something minor to buy it, possibly read it and possibly try to be positive when we are absolutely desperate, in pain and suffering. Maybe we should choose a better path to let the Universe know what we want.
The huge number of terminally sick, badly sick and suffering people proves that pure happiness approach does not really work. If it was so simple: why are there so many sick people who suffer from incurable or partially curable diseases? I am very sure many of them are aware of positive thinking and have tried it. We are actually overcoming our fear from the future not because we are positive we will survive, but because we have many protective mechanisms built in us and physical and mental strength to cope with such issues. That is called willpower and desire to live.
The huge number of homeless and jobless people also proves that there is no real connection between being positive and having everything one needs: safe home, well-paying job and enough of good, nutritious food. Everybody has positive attitude and positive expectations when they go to apply for a job, when they try to save money for a house. Yet, positive thinking won’t prevent us from global financial crisis which can destroy all savings and put us out on a street. How bad is that because we are positive, but people who have all the money might be not? Otherwise, they could just simply help us out. meaning, most people of this planet need help, especially financial because money solves numerous issues.
Although, millions of people have tried the positive attitude challenge and still do, that hasn’t had any impact on the decrease of diseases, that has had no impact on the global economy and that has had no effect on each and every family’s wellbeing.
Lots of people live or at least try to live believing that everything is fine and if they feel something is wrong, they blame themselves for not being positive enough.
Positive, negative and neutral thinking are simply distinctive ways of perceiving the reality, therefore, there is no reason to put emphasis on one of them. It is obvious that we must have a positive outlook when starting or doing something (otherwise: why to bother?), but this positivism has to be based on realistic evaluation of facts, and therefore, realistic optimism is much more valuable than plain positivism. We review our chances, we evaluate our goals and chances, and we realistically approach every problem.
Realistic approach also includes a healthy criticism. Well, that might seem to be too much down to earth, but I could list hundreds of examples when realistic optimism causes no disappointment, but overly positive expectations do, and that happens every time when there was absolutely no reason to hope for a good outcome.
Lots of people believe that they are entitled to everything, and to have this everything shouldn’t take them any efforts.
There is no scientifically proven correlation between positive thinking and perfect health, longer life, better income or better personal relationships. I could insert a long list of psychologists who proved how delusional positivism and obsession with seeing no downside in anything can have the adverse effect: from more severe depression and anxiety cases to people who got scammed out their life savings or got betrayed in other ways. I will not insert this list because I want to describe my personal observations and experiences. However, if you google “the negative effects of positive thinking”, very many articles listing psychological research will come up. That means, positive thinking does not constitute “a cause and effect” correlation because people who are already healthy, people who have no financial problems or are naturally inclined to explain everything from the trust and belief position (are born as a psychologically easy-going type) will definitely be more positive and maybe even less cautious than people who struggle with pain, are terminally ill, have broken marriage, don’t have a job, or home, have broken relationships, etc.
However, there is a strong scientifically proven correlation between willpower, personal integrity and perseverance and better health, better jobs resulting in better income and more successful relationships. Willpower is not the same as positive thinking. Willpower is neither positive, nor negative. It shows that the person has the strength to withstand whatever comes along and to stick to their plan. Willpower also allows implementing our intentions regardless of obstacles, and quite often that is all what matters.
Under the never-ending pressure to pretend and to show how positive and well we are, we do not want to admit any bad things anymore because that might be understood as a weakness, as a personal failure. We feel obligated to be positive and to show off our “everything is excellent” side. Nobody has cancelled troubles, diseases, disasters, failures, broken promises and broken hearts. That is life. The bad sides of our life have to be assessed and dealt with accordingly: black doesn’t become white if we think so. We have to paint it white and do this with internal strength from the position of our personal belief and willpower, without pretending, without lying to ourselves.
When somebody is seriously sick, they need a treatment. If one has tooth ache, they have to go to the dentist. When husband is cheating or beating up the wife, this wife has to divorce him. When small kid is rude, we have to react to it. When our house is dirty, we have to clean it: roll up the sleeves and get down to it which is not really exciting or entertaining.
Talking and thinking does not always help or do the job. We have to act instead of expecting a miracle. It is dangerous to expect we will have everything we feel entitled to without putting any efforts into it. That refers to absolutely any area of our life: being fit and good-looking, having a great relationship or long-lasting marriage, having financial stability, good job and improved global climate.
Neither this world, nor life is perfect. Humans have imperfections, too. It is good to strive for self-improvement, but this is not done only by thinking and attitude. The attitude should be realistically optimistic, but the main part is a positive action, or an action to implement all our positive intentions. It is not enough to think: I am beautiful, smart and healthy, while spending the entire time staring at phone or laptop screen on a coach and eating junk food. Is it?
In my experience, positive thinking gives results only if it is based on assessment of reality and it is followed by an action in the right direction. I am for realistic optimism.
Besides, one website offered free happiness training. Cool or what? Free. Free happiness for everybody. I told before, type in Dalai Lama’s quote about how man surprised him most because of not living neither in presence, nor future and dying as if he never lived, and this site will come up, but maybe don’t do that because Olga, a fellow blogger was embarrassed to receive messages every day, although, she didn’t sign up for anything on that site. This is just how terrible they are: you want a free happiness and they make you suffer for that.
Have a good day and life! Thanks for reading!
Inese Poga Life School 
Sorry to hear that! It wasn’t my intention to get anybody in trouble. I’m not receiving any messages, I simply accidentally got on it and I thought it was so silly what they offered there in all seriousness. Basically, I mentioned that as a bad example of what advise people shouldn’t take because it’s wrong in its root. Maybe I should point this out clearly or maybe better mention that this is a bad website. Like I’m saying, it didn’t cause me any problems, I probably have a fairly strong firewall.
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Thanks again for visiting my blog, and liking my most recent post; I appreciated it. After reading this I can see that you concur with how I view the doctrine, and what I label the “religion of positive thinking” too be; harmful. It is completely in-congruent with people’s actual life and circumstances, it offers empty promises and it is a vague, but apparently a scientific approach. no-one can actually give you the truth, advice or how-to-do what is required to become someone who can achieve the world (as they state you can); these people won’t offer help to those who truly are floundering in their lives, almost as though it is an opportunity to boost their self esteem and ego at the expense of others misfortunes. It is also a hair shirt for people to use as repentance, and self-flagellation to ensure they think more positively. Its real reason for being though; it is a money making scam which has been regurgitated time and time again to no avail for most people.Thanks for posting this, and thanks for being unafraid to speak the truth; as the positive thinking brigade do not like it when they come up against an alternative opinion that doesn’t reinforce their ‘philosophy’ (this I know – and their positive thinking is soon forgotten about!) Thanks again, Bex
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Thanks! It is a type of brain-washing approach. There are other people in Europe who call these guys which want to make everybody happy about everything “happiness zombies”. It took its start in multilevel retail where they have to convince people who buy their product customers are feeling very happy about it. Therefore, it became a widespread patch for any issue: if you are not happy, you are doing something wrong. The other issues were excluded, and everyone is made to believe that if they have not made themselves rich and successful yet, it is because they do not believe in happiness and it has nothing to do with bad economics, with the fact that 100 000 people have to work extremely hard in 2-3 jobs and often without vacations to earn profits for 1 person of abnormally rich and well-off stars, celebrities and heirs of family fortunes. Hundreds have become millionaires themselves popularizing this scheme: and it is very simple to prove why one is not happy after buying expensive tickets to seminars, webinars, their booklets and other materials: you did not try hard enough, you did not believe in this strong enough, you skipped whatever affirmation or prayer and so on. This in turn have led many people who suffer from disorders, depression, mental illnesses and physical shortages to complete and clinically significant depression, hence this is repeated on every step: every single person is so happy and all they had to do is buy my book or attend my group session. So on. It is amazing how easy it is to manipulate people in North America because they believe anything which is repeated often enough from any screen: TV, computer or phone.
Have a great day!
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I didn’t know this ‘happy happy and all is great’ outlook was first perpetuated in the sales or retail sector. I suppose that has some sensible link though! I agree with what you have stated, it certainly contributes to more harm than good. It is a community pressure which is constantly applied, but also those hateful interjects of “I should” and “I must”; the perpetual stress of being and becoming more than most people can ever really be (applied by others and reinforced in the believers own minds). Although I see less of this way of thinking in the UK, and also when I lived abroad, it does exist as you have stated in books and seminars. I have dodged it at all cost, as I prefer to speak the truth regardless of how harsh it is (so too do those I associate with). I do wonder whether it is a U.S phenomenon (mainly due to the high church going population in certain states) – it carries on from religion. Regardless of their preaching – positive thinking or no, things can and do go wrong in life. I know it is a case of money, privilege and birth rights that contribute highly to how far a person exceeds in life; not what you know but who. I also feel that those talking of positive affirmations, and how wonderful it all is – have never really experienced one bump in their smooth road. I fear that when they do their whole world will come crashing down around them all too soon; reality then hitting home. It is almost a case of their need to hide their head in the sand, and being thoroughly unprepared for what poop can hit the fan! No amount of positive thinking will then alter that. Thank you I will and you too 🙂
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I am originally from Europe, Latvia. This was my biggest issue when I relocated to Canada in 2004: people were as if very kind and as if welcoming and so. However, when it came to the moment to keep at least some of promises, it was completely different. I was used to say what I think and hear what other people think. It could be even bad and not positive at all. It was truth, however. To give you a small example: if I asked somebody to come to some event or attend some class, people would immediately let me know why they were not coming if not and why they were coming. That was not giving somebody false hopes. I didn’t know that here it was so: everybody promised you anything, but they never intended to do what they had told. It was a real shock for me, and it took me years to try to distinguish between “just to please you” compliments and promises and truth.
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I can imagine it was difficult for you to adjust; it must have been quite a culture shock. I have found that most people from Eastern E.U do speak their mind, and in doing that they aren’t being necessarily negative, but they do speak the truth! Which I like and value more. I can understand the false promises though, and also know what receiving these can do to a person and also a friendship. I certainly prefer to say “no” or “yes” and state why I can or cannot (or do or don’t want to do something). Yet, I find people often prefer the lies and pretence; I have actually been labelled weird, miserable and a bitch for just saying “no I don’t want to and this is why”! I sometimes feel I cannot win on things like that. I also think people who perhaps prefer the lies, are the type to be all nice and kind merely to get something in return. They have false friend syndrome! They are quite happy and lovely until you serve your use and then – no more is heard from them. They tend to be the life is positive brigade too! Compliments are great, if they actually are the truth and not based upon flattery for another purpose.
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I couldn’t agree more. The Life is positive brigade sounds funny, but that’s true, as well. Not that I am negative about everything, as you can see I am somebody who prefers to stay realistic in everything: expectations, promises and my own limits. In fact, I know how easy it is to get labelled weird, miserable and everything else bad. It is just because you do not repeat the same text over and over again. I refuse to accept these theories because life has shown me one cannot go wrong with keeping feet on the ground. It is way less disappointment when I don’t expect miraculous results. This doesn’t exclude goals and dreams. It is just so that I also do not like the decorations. I also prefer keeping everything real. I don’t have any friends here, except for some almost friends who come from my students. My health does not allow for much mobility, so it is only people who come to see me. And, yes, this absolutely positive happiness every second syndrome originates from North America and it is extremely widespread over the States. Canada certainly tries to keep up.
How else does it work? It is so easy to manipulate people by just feeding them these abstract hopes and “everything is fantastic” attitudes. This takes away from real problems and prevents from seeing the whole picture. There is nothing good about current economical condition, everything is polluted and people get sicker and sicker hence somebody makes insane profits on chemical food and pharmaceuticals. At first one is poisoned and later treated and they pay in both cases. It’s just so that it is very convenient when people do not point this out, when there is no reaction to advantage taking.
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I can understand and do agree with you 100% I cannot believe how much you and I concur regarding these topics. I admit you are one of the first people I have shared responses with who does see things as I do, and is willing to state their real opinion. The friendship situation for me has also been frustrating, but I actually limit my friend network purposefully; I choose to ensure those I mingle with are nice! I have found that gaining trust and honesty, plus genuine and real within a friend is often a tall order. I don’t want to be someone I am not to please others, and cannot walk with my head in the clouds pretending all will be well with a ‘wing and prayer’ either. I know that even with best laid plans, and the most positive of attitudes anyone can find their lives in trouble. Yes, that need for people to see themselves as I would say, a better person somehow, and only because they do adhere to what everyone else says and thinks and does, annoys me!! People are afraid to be real though. Neither you or I are weird or anything worse than weird, just because we see life as having more of a balance of reality than fantasy included within it. I understand it might bring comfort to people, but for how long and then they realise the reality they hoped to avoid just won’t go away with positive affirmations alone! Have a good evening, Bex
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I agree with you. I believe you’d fit in well in Latvia. It probably depends on Latvian history and the hardships they’ve gone through, but this flattering in clouds with pink glasses on one’s eyes there isn’t acceptable. People are really down to the earth, but that doesn’t mean they are all some kind of angry and unhappy crowd. They do not try to please so much and they do not pretend to be someone who they are not. I am certainly missing the honest attitude while here. I find nothing wrong when somebody points out the dress doesn’t look good on me or my hairdo is hilarious. This is because I am ok with truth and I can take it. Try to say somebody here in Canada what you think, and they will never speak to you again. I just don’t get it.
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Thanks, and it does seem as those they would be my sort of people in Latvia. I prefer down to earth too; no pretensions or a sense of having to out do one another to prove something. I think it is rare to be able to speak the truth anywhere today, well, at least to one another’s faces (behind backs seems fine though)! Yes, because people are so used to not hearing or speaking the truth; it is about being fake to save face. It has become the norm we except, and it has been reinforced everywhere; including on WordPress. Hope you have a good weekend, and we will speak soon.
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Thanks, I am recovering after the surgery, so I cannot really type right now.
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OK, well I wish you a speedy recovery.
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Thanks, unfortunately, there are complications.
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I am sorry to hear that, and I wish you well. I have decided to take a blogging break, as sick to death of WordPress and the fakers. I will therefore have to cut short our discussions regarding our mutual distaste for said fakers! I wish you well though, genuinely, and it was a pleasure to get to know more about you. If only there were more and not less of your sort of people on WordPress, this blogging platform would be better for it. Take care and be well, Bex
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I appreciate you were so honest and I liked how we could talk about different things. Just disregard the fakers. My wrong gone surgery, especially the pot care is a good example of that. The doctor is overly positive, unreasonably and that causes troubles to patient. They found out I was 100% resistant to antibiotics they were pumping in. I told them, they didn’t work. That doctor found all kinds of positive excuses until we got lab proof. In my case, I lost 4 very critical days for recovery and that decreased the chance of good outcome even more.
I hope seeing you some time back.
I’ve been somebody who protests and doubts the popular views and theories all my life. Life is a struggle and a battle field, and to win we need strong spine and way more than just positive affirmations. I will devote to this lots of posts later when I can normally write, sit, stand and walk again.
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Thank you for all you have written, and I truly appreciate your support. I have enjoyed communicating with you too, as I haven’t found many who are as open and honest on W.P; it has been great to be able to share how I feel, and see things in the world with someone who understands! I am sorry to hear of your struggle with the surgery and the stupid Doctor, who obviously preferred his positive affirmations to the truth. This has jeopardised you and been detrimental, which is extremely unjust. Please try to get recompense for this. I am wishing you well, and that your next set of treatments/recovery will prove to be beneficial in a real sense of the word. I will probably decide to return at some stage to W.P, and then make contact with you again. I need to just focus on my reality for now. Get well and then continue posting, as it would be a shame to lose another truthful voice!! Yes, I certainly think that too; we do have to look the world in the eye, and face it for what it is or can be. Very often it is a scary, nasty, unfair and hard place – but if we hide and pretend all is great it will catch up with us in the end! I actually read over some of my old journals I have kept throughout the years, and in those pages was plenty of hope, faith and plans for good outcomes regardless of what I’ve faced. I have realised that all that positivity amounted to not very much; the rubbish did and still will hit the fan!!!! We deal with one set of trials and tribulations and then move onto another set; that is life and it does too often suck. Take care and be well; best wishes, Bex
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Thanks Bex! These are the best written words which I have read since a very long time. I agree 100% with you. I am still optimistic because I want finally my life back and sooner or later it just should happen. I am ready to do whatever it takes.
It was an extremely valuable communication with you and I appreciate every moment of it. We will start a new movement based on a new ideology: do not hide and pretend, but face and fight the nasty things of reality in order the future could unfold in a way more better way!
Have a great summer, or at least rest of it! I certainly hope to talk to you some time when things have improved for both of us!
Take care!
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Thank you, that means do much. I will try to have a good Summer and you must too. You have been a great support to the truth cause, and actually made me realise not everyone out there is just after a pack of lies! You have certainly provided the most honest and genuine interaction on W.P, which I will sincerely miss!!! Yes, we will; I fully feel on board with that idea – someone needs to and who better than us as we are unafraid to state the truth or face it!!! Yes we will, and once we are both feeling ready and able we can recommence where we left off. Have a good rest and take care of yourself, Bex
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Thanks Bex and all my good wishes go to you! Well, there is still some summer left. I hope to have at least chance to enjoy August.
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